Monday, 30 July 2012

Aliens (5 Stars)


This is the sequel to "Alien", made seven years after the original. Ridley Scott did an admirable job in the original, but he passes the baton to James Cameron for the second film. It surpasses the original, and received critical acclaim. It was nominated for seven Oscars and won two. That was unusual, since science fiction films are usually ignored by the Academy Awards.

The story starts where the first film left off. At the end of the first film Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) climbs into a cryo-chamber to sleep for the 10 month trip back to Earth. In the second film her vessel is rescued after going astray and drifting for 57 years. At first nobody believes her story about the creature which killed the rest of her crew. A colony has been set up on the planet where she claims the alien life form was discovered, and nothing has been reported. Until now. Contact is lost with the colony, and Ripley is enlisted to accompany the rescue mission. As the film's title suggests, the rescue team encounters not one but many aliens.

Although not quite living up to "Terminator", made two years earlier, the film strengthens James Cameron's reputation as a masterful director of science fiction films. The acting is strong throughout, I couldn't name any weak links. Sigourney Weaver is maybe a strange choice to carry the lead role in the Alien films. She isn't the typical beautiful Hollywood actress; she's very plain. And yet she fits the role perfectly.

I expect that most of my readers have at least seen the first Alien film, maybe all of them. If not, I recommend watching them all. The special effects might not live up to Cameron's later films like "Avatar", but the suspense and action make them better films.

Here on Earth (2 Stars)


Jasper (Josh Hartnett) and Samantha (Leelee Sobieski) live in a small town. They've been lovers since they were children. He works on his father's farm, she works in her mother's restaurant. It's one of those towns where you're born, live your whole life, and die. Just outside town there's an expensive private school. The school is for boys only, so they go into the town to pick up girls, but in general they're despised by the locals. Kelley (Chris Klein) gets into a fight with Jasper, and a bout of road rage leads to Kelley's car crashing into Samantha's restaurant and destroying it. The judge sentences the two boys to "community service", saying they have to take part in the rebuilding of the restaurant. But Samantha is fascinated by the rich out-of-town boy, and a romance develops.

If that were all that happens the film would have been okay. I could have accepted it as a light-hearted romantic drama. But tragedy strikes. Things get steadily worse, and though the viewers hope for a happy ending none comes. The film is depressing. On top of that is the unconvincing performance from the two male leads. I wasn't previously acquainted with Chris Klein, but he seems bland and uninteresting. I've never liked Josh Hartnett as an actor, except for maybe "Pearl Harbor". Leelee Sobieski is a brilliant actress and easily outshines the rest of the cast, but she can't make up for the depressingly morbid plot.

The trailer can be viewed here, and it makes the film look like a happy romp. But it isn't. I can't recommend it.

Saturday, 28 July 2012

General: Where have all the readers gone?

This is something that's been on my mind for a long time. My readership figures, as reported by Google, fluctuate a lot. For the past nine months I've averaged around 90 readers a day, which I was happy with. Then suddenly, on June 29th, the number fell to 28. And then 24. And the number has been under 30 ever since. It seems strange to me that my readership figures fell by two thirds in one day. It doesn't seem like a natural loss of readers. Maybe Google changed its algorithms so I haven't been featured so high on the search pages any more? That's the only explanation I can think of.

Not that I want the numbers to be high for the sake of it. I want to know how many people are really reading my blog. 30 a day is a good number if they are real readers. I often suspect that people come to my page by accident. They do a search for a film they want to download, Google sends them to me, then they curse when they find it's only a review. Shucks, I'm sorry I don't support global film piracy!

The best way for me to know that my blog is being read is by readers leaving comments. So please, tell me what you think about the films I review. I know that my reviews are often very brief. Deliberately. I don't always have a lot to say about a film. If you want to know more ask me a question. I read all the comments in my blog, and I reply to almost all of them.

Alien (4½ Stars)


I remember the first time I watched this film. It was 1981. My best friend Chris worked as a lab technician at Walsall Teacher Training College (which has since become part of the University of Wolverhampton). Among his other duties he was in charge of the weekly film club. I remember that I visited the club three weeks in a row to watch the films that he had personally picked for the students to watch. Chris had excellent taste. The films were "Carrie", "Dark Star" and "Alien". It was the first time I'd seen any of the three films, and they all made an impression on me. Yesterday I watched "Alien" again for the first time in 30 years.

"Alien" has a simple plot, but it's a well crafted film. A mining space ship is on its way back to Earth. During the journey they answer a distress signal from a small planet, and they pick up a stowaway. It's a small creature that grows by feeding on the crew members. Although set in space it's more of a horror film than a science fiction film. The eerie silence and lack of music for most of the film adds to the atmosphere. This is an all-time masterpiece.

Chloe (4 Stars)


Dr. Catherine Stewart (Julianne Moore) is a successful gynaecologist who works in a small town. Her husband David (Liam Neeson) is a music professor who works in New York City and only returns home at weekends. She suspects him of being unfaithful to her, so she hires Chloe (Amanda Seyfried), an exclusive call girl, to test her husband's fidelity. As we find out, David had never cheated on his wife before, but he is unable to resist Chloe's powers of seduction. Then things spiral out of control. Chloe goes on to seduce Catherine's teenage son and Catherine herself.

The film's plot is fascinating. I admit to having been excited by the naked scenes. Amanda Seyfried is a very beautiful woman. And yet I have the feeling that it could have been better. Something is missing. I'm not sure what.

The alternate endings included on the DVD are worth watching. Especially the ending with the voiceover by Catherine. They point out something (I don't want to spoil it by telling you what it is) that the director probably intended to say in the film, but was never made clear. He should have put the message across better.

Click here to view the trailer.

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Borat (5 Stars)

There are very few films that can make me laugh out loud when I watch them. Especially not the third or fourth time. I forget how often I've watched this film. It's sheer brilliance. It's probably the funniest film I've ever seen. I like it even more than the other two films in the Ali G trilogy, "Ali G in da House" and "Bruno".

The original concept of Ali G was a character created in 1998 by the British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen. Ali G appeared as a stereotypical undereducated British Jamaican. He interviewed leading personalities from the world of business, politics and religion, shocking them by making politically incorrect statements. He also preyed on them, tricking them into agreeing with his views. This concept only worked for a few years, for as long as Ali G was unknown. In 2003 he made a new television series in America, where he was still unknown and could fool people once more.

Due to Ali G becoming well known, Cohen created two new characters. One was Borat, an anti-semitic news reporter from Kazakhstan. The other was Bruno, a gay Austrian fashion expert. They both first appeared in the "Ali G Show" before carrying on to star in their own films.

The film "Borat" shows the character travelling to America to find out about American culture and how it can help the people of Kazakhstan. The full name of the film is actually "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan". It follows the pattern of a simpleton mocking those he meets.

The film was a big success in America and the rest of the world, but it also had a lot of problems. Most of the people who appear in the film weren't informed that they were being filmed, and they were shocked to see themselves being made fools of on the big screen. The government of Kazakhstan also made an official complaint, stating that its country is not fairly represented.

The official film trailer doesn't do it justice, but watch it anyway. This is a film that everyone should watch.

Star Trek (2 Stars)


As you can tell from the photo above, this is a review of the 2009 Star Trek film that effectively rebooted the franchise. Now don't get me wrong. I'm a big Star Trek fan. I love all the television series from the original series in 1966 up to "Enterprise" in 2005. I even liked the animated series in 1974, though I admit that the plots are more shallow than the other series. I enjoyed the first 10 films, even though most of them are weaker than the television series. And yet, I hate this reboot. It's awful. Maybe even 2 stars is too much for it.

I would have been happy if the film had been made with a different premise. Maybe the story of a different starship making voyages at the same time as the USS Enterprise. That would have worked. But to cast new actors playing the original characters that have since become part of the world's cultural heritage..... that's blasphemy! Only Karl Urban is a passable replacement for DeForrest Kelly as Leonard McCoy. Chris Pine is awful as Jim Kirk, and Zoe Saldana is so inept at playing Lt. Uhura that she should be banned from ever acting again. Zachary Quinto, an actor that I greatly like after seeing him in "Heroes", does the best he can as Spock, but he just isn't Leonard Nimoy. Simon Pegg is a reasonable choice for Scotty, but he overdoes the comedy. John Cho is utterly forgettable as Sulu. Anton Yelchin is a very poor replacement for Chekov, and also out of place, since Chekov wasn't part of the original crew of the Enterprise; he joined the ship in the second season of the original series.

As for the plot: the backstory with Kirk's father is unnecessary. The love affair between Spock and Uhura is so wrong that it made me want to throw a brick at my television screen. The only good thing about the film is the appearance of Leonard Nimoy as the old Spock. He alone has saved the DVD from being dumped in my trash.

No, I refuse to give you a link to the film trailer. Forget it.

Sunday, 22 July 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man (5 Stars)


I confess that I was very skeptical about the reboot of the Spider-Man film franchise. Sam Raimi did such a good job with the original trilogy that it seemed superfluous to start again only 10 years after the first Spider-Man film was released.

It might seem strange to viewers not acquainted with the original comics that Gwen Stacy is presented as Peter Parker's love interest. In the Sam Raimi films Mary Jane Watson was his lover, and Gwen Stacy was only introduced in the third film. Let me make it clear now, as all comic fans will agree, that only the comics themselves are canon. The stories in the comics are what really happened. The films are just adaptations, more or less accurate interpretations of the stories told by Stan Lee and the writers after him. Gwen Stacy first appeared in Spider-Man #31 and was indeed Peter Parker's first lover. Mary Jane Watson was introduced 11 issues later. Mary Jane didn't become his lover until after Gwen's death in Spider-Man #121. Incidentally, the rumours are that Gwen's death will be shown in the third film of the new trilogy. Let's wait and see.

Rather than review the film, let me talk about the differences between Spider-Man in this film and the first Sam Raimi film. My main problem with the new film is the actor in the title role. Andrew Garfield was a poor choice. He looks nothing like Peter Parker did in the comics. The hair is wrong. He looks too tall. Tobey Maguire, on the other hand, was perfect. Born for the role.

Apart from the physical appearance, Peter's clothing in the new film is wrong. He should wear glasses, not contact lenses. He shouldn't wear cool clothing like a hoody. And he definitely shouldn't carry a skateboard around. Peter Parker was a nerd in the comics, but in the new film he just doesn't look nerdy enough.

I don't like the fact that Peter is fast to take revenge on the classroom bully Flash Thompson after gaining his powers. In the comics he took great pains to retain the appearance of being weak.

In the first film the webbing was part of Spider-Man's transformation, while in this film it fires from a mechanical webshooter. The new film is more accurate in this respect. Peter Parker was a science expert and invented the artificial webbing himself.

The costume is less accurate in the new film than it was in the first. When I saw the photos months ago I was dismayed. In the film itself it doesn't matter so much. The costume details are hidden by the action.

Of course, the whole origin story in the first film is close to canon. Peter was bitten by a spider on a school trip. His uncle was shot by a robber after Peter had taken part in a wrestling match. The new film changes the facts, but the changes don't spoil the story.

Click here to view the trailer.

Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (4 Stars)

This is one of the best of Fred Olen Ray's soft porn films of the last few years. The beautiful Christine Nguyen stars in the title role as a relic hunter trying to steal a statue which hides a hidden map to a secret tiara that will make its wearer the ruler of the kingdom of Moronica.

As I already mentioned in my review of "Housewives from another world" a lot of people don't see the point in soft porn. The sex isn't real, it's just people making movements together with the camera pointing from angles that hide the fact that there's no penetration. And yet there's a lot of it. In soft porn movies the fake sex scenes are more important than the plot. To answer this question, compare the sex scenes in a hardcore and a softcore film. The women in soft porn films are more glamorous. They are idealised, they look more beautiful than the real thing. The men as well, if you like that sort of thing. In contrast, the women in hardcore films are sweaty and natural. Soft porn films are about fine art. And Fred Olen Ray's films belong to the best in the genre.

Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat (4 Stars)

Count Mardulak (David Carradine) is an ancient vampire who's grown tired of centuries of killing. He takes his clan to America and settles in the deserts of Utah, where he founds a town called Purgatory. A vampire town, no humans. In order to survive he hires experts from outside who are able to create artificial blood. They live at peace until Robert Van Helsing (Bruce Campbell) arrives, refusing to believe that the vampires are really living peacefully. At the same time a rebellion starts of vampires who want to return to the "old ways" of killing humans to survive.

This is a low budget film made, which might not be immediately obvious because it was made with a large cast. It's not completely serious, as you can probably imagine. A must for Bruce Campbell fans.

Monday, 16 July 2012

Embrace of the Vampire (4 Stars)

Another vampire film, but I didn't forget this one. This is one of the sexiest vampire films ever made, with some unforgettable scenes, especially the scene in which the unnamed man played by Martin Kemp is turned into a vampire by three beautiful naked vampiresses. But let's start from the beginning.

Martin Kemp is a nobleman who is ecstatically in love. Round about the 16th Century, it seems, though the date isn't stated. His relationship is cut short when he becomes a vampire. The fate of his lover isn't stated, which is strange, because he searches for her for hundreds of years. Yes, a small hole in the plot. Eventually he finds her, reborn as a 17-year-old college girl called Charlotte, played by Alyssa Milano. Just in time. After three days, at midnight, he will die forever. This date coincides with Charlotte's 18th birthday, but Martin can avert his death if he drinks Charlotte's blood before this moment, and only if she's still a virgin. Yet another strange reinvention of vampire mythology. It gets confusing, doesn't it?

Unfortunately Charlotte has a boyfriend called Chris that she loves deeply. Martin wants her to leave him voluntarily, rather than taking her by force or killing him. But he only has three days to win Charlotte's heart.

The film's imagery is beautiful, but the plot has more holes than Swiss cheese. At the beginning we see Martin as a man deeply in love with Charlotte, so we sympathise with him and want him to succeed. As the film progresses it seems that all he wants is to drink her blood to prolong his life; he even says that the act will be without emotion. At this point we begin to boo and hiss.

The film has achieved a certain notoriety though Alyssa Milano's nude scenes. Before this she had been famous as a child star, and three years later she reached the peak of her career starring in the TV series "Charmed". Even today, 17 years later, nude screenshots from the film are plastered all over the Web. Just do a search for "Alyssa Milano nude" and you'll see what I mean. I've never understood the fascination with nude celebrities. It must be an American thing. American society is so uptight, which leads to men getting excited when a mainstream actress can be seen without her clothes. In Europe nobody cares. Serious German actresses have no hesitation to appear nude if the plot requires it. The same applies to England, where actresses like Helen Mirren and Kate Winslet have appeared naked countless times. In Alyssa's case it goes one step further. Her mother, Lin Milano, went as far as to create a company called Cybertrackers to hunt down people posting nude photos of her daughter online and threaten them with legal action. This is a sad case of a mother not respecting her daughter enough to accept the choices she's made in her life. Alyssa's nude images will exist forever, on the Internet and on DVD. She claims success, saying that all the sites that she finds are closed down, but she's fighting a losing battle, as a simple web search will prove.

Thursday, 12 July 2012

Blood: The Last Vampire (4½ Stars)

After realising I'd forgotten all about "Vampyres" last week I looked through the vampire films in my bookcase to see if there were any other forgotten films. And I found this one. I picked it up, tried to remember what it was about, and nothing. Not even the film's description on the back rang a bell. So I watched it. And..... wow! This is a film that certainly doesn't deserve to be forgotten.

This is a British live action remake of a Japanese anime film. The film takes place in 1970 in Japan. The background is a war that has been going on for centuries between vampires and humans. Although it is hinted that there are vampires all over the world, in this film we only see Japanese vampires. With the exception of  a sports teacher played by the great English actor Colin Salmon. Protecting humanity from vampires is an ancient organisation called the Council, which is based in America but has agents all over the world. Apart from killing vampires the Council also prevents the general population from discovering the existence of vampires. The Council is assisted by Saya, a 400-year-old Japanese girl who has a human father and a vampire mother. Saya refuses to become a full member of the Council and is only working with them to gain information about the whereabouts of Onigen, the demon who killed her father.

After hearing about a series of killings at an American air base the Council arranges for Saya to go undercover, posing as a schoolgirl at the base's high school. She soon discovers that the school itself contains vampires, including her classmates and the aforementioned sports teacher. Saya becomes friends with Alice McKee, the daughter of General McKee who is in charge of the base. When the general finds out about the vampires he is executed by Council agents to prevent the secret being spread. This leads to Saya having to fight against the Council as well as the vampires.

The action is fast paced, choreographed by Hong Kong action director Corey Yuen. The vampires are realistic, despite their ability to walk in the sunlight. As I've said before, every vampire film reinvents vampires. The plot is well written and logical, and the characters are well developed.

Click here to view the trailer.

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Confessions of a Window Cleaner (5 Stars)

When I was a teenager this was one of my favorite films. I still enjoy it a lot, even though there are other films I like more now. It's the first and best of the Confessions films, starring Robin Askwith. The Confessions films are based closely on the Carry On films, but with more nudity. Maybe they're a mix between the Carry On films and "On the Buses", since there's a family element. The Carry On films were very typical for the 1960's (even the films made in the seventies were sixties-ish), but the Confessions films are typical for the 1970's. It's a shame that only four films were made. They were all classics and landmark films of an age gone by.

Robin Askwith stars at Timmy Lea, a young window cleaner employed by his brother-in-law. At the film's start he's still a virgin, but that doesn't last long. His sexual encounters are all while he's working, of course. This is bawdy British humour at its best. I very strongly recommend it to everyone, especially to Americans who enjoy British comedy.

Troll Hunter (4½ Stars)

There's been a lot of buzz about this film ever since it was released in 2010. Usually when a film receives a lot of hype I avoid it. Often the praise is exaggerated, or it's only based on spectacular special effects that barely disguise a poorly written story. In this case I had higher hopes. Simply because the film is Norwegian. Norway has a small film industry, so the stories that make it from screenplay to the screen are filtered. Only the best seep through.

I wasn't disappointed. "Troll Hunter" imitates the style of "Blair Witch Project". We see an amateur film crew from Volda College following a man called Hans who claims to be a troll hunter working for an official government agency. At first they are sceptical, but as they follow him they see the proof of his words.

I can't really say much about the film to recommend it. Just watch the trailer.

Sunday, 8 July 2012

Man from Uncle: The Karate Killers (4 Stars)

"The Man from Uncle" was an American television series that ran for 105 episodes from 1964 to 1968. It featured the adventures of two spies, Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin, played by Robert Vaughn and David McCallum. The weekly tongue-in-cheek fast-moving international espionage makes the series seem like a low budget version of the James Bond films. This is no coincidence. Ian Fleming was hired to help design the series, and his style can be seen especially in the first year.

Although set in the age of the Cold War, this is very much an anti-Cold War series. Uncle (United Network Command for Law and Enforcement) is a secret organisation that relies on international cooperation. The organisation is based in New York, but Illya Kuryakin is a Russian agent. No, not a dissident, we occasionally hear him making statements in favour of Communism. He is a loyal Russian patriot who has been assigned to Uncle to aid them in battling global threats. The main threat comes from the evil organisation Thrush. Unlike "Uncle", we never find out what "Thrush" stands for.

As far as I know, the Man from Uncle films are all re-edited versions of television episodes. The scenes were extended by adding out-takes, usually involving short nude scenes that were "too hot for TV". The plot for this film is typical for the not-so-serious nature of the series.

A scientist has accidentally stumbled on a formula to extract gold from sea water. He wants to hand the formula over to Uncle, but since he is afraid that an evil power -- in this case Thrush -- could get their hands on it he scatters the formula "to the four winds". Dr. True's wife has been divorced four times, and she has a daughter from all five marriages. The doctor sends a signed photo of himself to his four step-daughters, who live in four different countries. Each photo contains a segment of the formula. Napoleon and Illya have to reach the four girls before Thrush gets to them. The four girls are totally different; the only thing they have in common is that they are all fast to lose their clothes. But the fifth girl, his own daughter, is the one who unknowingly holds the key to interpreting the formula.

This is light-hearted fun. If you like the early James Bond films you'll enjoy this as well, even though it's been shot on a much smaller budget.

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Illicit Dreams 3 (3½ Stars)

Jim is a retired baseball player. His wife is killed, and the police suspect that he is the murderer. In order to clear himself Jim assists the police in finding the killer. He is certain that the killer is one of the women he has had an affair with, But there were so many that it's difficult to narrow it down.

The real star of this film is the police detective, played by Ross Hagen.

Illicit Dreams 2 (3½ Stars)

Jeff is a fashion photographer who is still grieving over the death of his wife in a car accident. After five years alone he begins to date the advertising chief of a large cosmetics company. But the romance does not go as smoothly as he expects.

This is an erotic thriller. This is a film genre that is a crossover between traditional thrillers and soft pornography. Typically there's a murder, someone has to solve it, and during the solving of the case the main character has sexual encounters, often with the murder suspects. The best known film in this genre is "Basic Instinct". Unlike "Basic Instinct", almost all erotic thrillers are low budget productions that are never shown in cinemas. They make money for the filmmaker by being rented in video stores, or by being shown on television film channels. Films like this were very common in the 1990's, but they're losing in popularity now.

There was a series of three Illicit Dreams films. They have nothing to do with one another. They have also been released with different names, which is something that always distresses me. The second film, which I'm reviewing now, was released in 1998. The DVD cover features a photograph of Julie Strain, who only appears in the third film. They must have got confused. I wish the film companies would put more effort into DVD releases.

Vampyres (4 Stars)


Have you ever bought a film, watched it, and then forgotten all about it? You look at a DVD on the shelf, you're sure you've watched it, but you can't remember what it's about? That's the case with this film. Amazon tells me I bought it on July 20th 2004. I probably only watched it once. With a title like this it's no surprise I bought it. I'm fascinated by vampires and vampire films in general, so I've bought quite a lot of DVDs like this without knowing them.

Now my memory is refreshed. This is a British horror film made in 1974. It's in the style of the later Hammer Horror films: less suspense and more nudity. Two beautiful women, Fran and Miriam, live in a remote country mansion. They pick up men on the road, take them home and seduce them. After having sex they kill the man and drink his blood. The problems start when Fran falls in love with a victim and keeps him alive.

The plot is a bit confused. A young couple are camping near to the mansion. When Fran meets her she says she recognises her and is glad to meet her again after such a long time, but this is the last we hear of it. This loose end is left dangling. Fran and Miriam are not typical vampires.They become vampires by being murdered and returning as bloodthirsty ghosts. Strange. Every vampire film and television series reinvents vampires. Somebody needs to define the parameters of what is and isn't a vampire.

Nevertheless, this is enjoyable escapism. It's not up to the standard of the 1960's Hammer Horror films, but it's worth watching.

Monday, 2 July 2012

Z (5 Stars)

Today was the fourth time I've watched this film. It's unusual for me to remember every time I've watched a film. That shows what an impression it's had on me. The first time I saw it was when I was quite young, early teens I think. I saw it in the cinema with my mother. The second time was when it was shown on television. I remember discussing it with my friends in school the next day. The third time was years later, 1997, when I rented it from Blockbuster. I watched it with my girlfriend, who found it boring. For years I've been trying to get it on DVD. Last week I finally managed to get a Korean import. Region 3 NTSC, but that's why I bought a multi-regional DVD player.

"Z" was the breakthrough film for Greek director Costa-Gavras. In 1970 it was nominated for five Oscars, of which it won two. The story is set in an unnamed European country, although it's obvious that the events are closely based on the Greek revolution of 1960.

The leader of an opposition party holds a speech in the capital, condemning the fact that foreign powers have stationed missiles in his country. His views are popular, and he's the favorite to win the next elections. After the speech he's run over by a car and dies a few days later. It seems like a random accident, but an independent judge is brought in to investigate the case. He's assisted by a young reporter who was the only one who took photos on the night of the accident. Slowly he digs through the lies and cover ups until he discovers a conspiracy that is not just a local matter, but has its roots in other countries.

I can hardly praise this film enough. It's a masterpiece. Even though it's 40 years old, it's not at all dated. Just dress the people in different clothes and let them drive more modern cars, then you could imagine that the film is taking place today.

Schoolgirl Report 10 (3 Stars)


This is the 10th film in the German Schoolgirl Report series, and the second film directed by Walter Boos. The outer frame of the film is the classroom in a girls school, where the teacher is discussing the concepts of morals and laws in our society. Laws were originally created based on moral values, so that the things judged to be "wrong" were made illegal, but in today's society it's possible to do something immoral that isn't against the law.

1. The teacher tells the girls about a colleague of hers, Dr, Hensel. He had to appear before a prosecution lawyer accused of raping a 17-year-old girl in his class, Susanne. He in turn tells the lawyer what happened, opening the second inner story. He tells the lawyer that he visited Susanne at home to give her English lessons, which was all that happened. Interestingly, the action showed on screen contradicts what he is telling the judge in voiceover. We see him giving her alcohol and having sex with her when she was drunk. After this a boy called Bert presents himself to the lawyer, saying he had witnessed what really happened. He followed Susanne to the teacher's house and spied on them through the window. He saw Susanne strip naked and attempt to seduce the teacher, but he resisted her advances. By hitting her, of course. The only way men can resist young girls in these films is by practising violence as an alternative to sex. After this Susanne wanted to accuse the teacher of raping her to get revenge for being spurned. She was still a virgin, so she asked Bert to have sex with her to provide proof that intercourse had taken place.

2. Inga sits in the class daydreaming about her own sexual experiences. Her first few times had all been disappointing because she slept with inexperienced boys who came too fast. Then she met Freddy, who was a fantastic lover. Freddy considered Inga to be a nymphomaniac, so he arranged for two of his friends to rape her. She ran away after this, but a young student called Rolf saw her crying and comforted her. And they lived happily ever after.....

3. Kati is 17 and dislikes her young stepmother, Angelika. She tells her boyfriend Frank that she will have sex with him if he seduces her stepmother first. Frank has an affair with the stepmother while Kati secretly takes photos. She shows the photos to her father, and her parents get divorced. But when Kati wants to give Frank his reward he isn't interested because he's in love with Angelika. And to top it all off, her father presents his new fiancee, her classmate Paula.

4. The teacher notices that one of the girls, Seffi, is missing from class. We then see the story of why she's missing, not told by anyone, just blended in. Seffi has a boyfriend called Karli, but their parents never give them a chance to be alone. After reading "The Exorcist" Karli has a plan. Seffi acts like she's possessed by a demon, ripping her clothes off and peeing on the floor. Ugh. Karli comes to the village wearing a false beard and dressed as a monk. Seffi's parents invite him to cast the demon out of their daughter. Karli locks himself in Seffi's bedroom and they have sex. Unfortunately the father recognises Karli afterwards and rips off his robe, sending him away naked.

5. Iris sits in class thinking about her lovers. She had a rich older lover called Walter, the chief of a chemical company. He had given her her own apartment to live in. Walter's nephew Franz saw them together and told Walter's wife about the affair. Walter broke off the relationship, but allowed Iris to keep the apartment as a parting gift. Iris saw Franz watching her, so she took him back to the apartment and seduced him. And then rejected him. Punishment for telling on her? Probably.

Then the bell rings and the girls leave the school. Iris sees Franz waiting for her outside the school. Franz proposes, but says that he'll allow Iris to do whatever she wants. And this really is the end.

This is be the weakest of all the Schoolgirl Report films so far. Whereas the girls in the previous films seemed natural in their sexuality, all the girls featured in this film seem artificial. Not one of the scenes seems like something that could really happen.