Forbidden Kingdom (3 Stars)

This is a film that should thrill all fans of kung fu movies. Jet Li and Jackie Chan in the same film! I have to admit, it thrilled me as well. Or at least, it did until I watched it. The film has a few highlights, such as a dazzling fight between the two martial arts heroes, but the story is disappointing. Added to that, the film is in English, even when Chinese characters speak to one another. That downgrades the film for a purist like me. I admit, the use of English is necessary for the plot, but if that's the case the plot should have been rewritten.

The film starts with the teenager Jason Tripitikas in New York City. He's a big fan of martial arts films, so he often visits a pawn shop in Chinatown to buy second hand DVDs. In the shop he finds a golden staff which is waiting to be collected by its rightful owner. He witnesses the shop being robbed. He grabs the staff, but the robbers beat him up. He's knocked out, and he wakes up hundreds of years ago in China.

He meets two characters: Lu Yan, a drunken master played by Jackie Chan, and an unnamed monk played by Jet Li. They tell him about a prophecy that a messenger will return the golden staff to the Monkey King to help him defeat his enemy, the Jade Warrior. The two men train Jason as a fighter. They're joined by Golden Sparrow, a woman seeking revenge for her parents who were killed by the Jade Warrior.

They're an unlikely assortment. The monk is serious and deeply spiritual. Lu Yan is only able to fight when he's drunk. Golden Sparrow is fuelled by hatred. Jason is just along for the ride, unable to believe he's the hero in an ancient prophecy.

In order to reach the Monkey King, who's been turned into a statue in the Jade Warrior's palace, they have to defeat a witch called Ni Chang. Why are evil women always the most beautiful?

Not that Golden Sparrow is unattractive. I thought I recognised her, so I checked her on IMDB. Of course! She's played by Yifei Liu, the title character in the 2020 version of "Mulan". 

It's not just the infeasible plot that spoils the film; it's also the dreadful English language dialogue. When they're fighting, Golden Sparrow calls Ni Chang a witch, and Ni Chang replies that Golden Sparrow is a bitch. That's just tasteless.

Success Rate:  + 0.3

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The Gift (2000) (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #63

I saw this film in the cinema when it was released in 2001. If I remember correctly, it was a random choice. I lived close to a cinema, and I had some time on my hands, so I decided to see a film. It was a multiplex, I forget how many screens, but there were only a couple of films that were about to start, and this looked like the best. I didn't even know it was directed by Sam Raimi until it started. Wow! It knocked me off my feet. I wonder if I would ever have discovered it if I hadn't walked into the cinema that day.

Most American films take place in New York, or to be more specific, they take place in Manhattan. In second place is Washington DC. Between them, those two locations must make up more than half of Hollywood's films. If aliens invade, they land in Manhattan. If a monster crawls out of the sea, it arrives in Manhattan. If a giant meteorite is heading for Earth, it'll fall directly on Manhattan. That's actually understandable. Hollywood wants to make films that audiences can relate to, and New York City is the place that everyone knows. The landmarks are immediately recognisable.

I'm thankful that Sam Raimi doesn't follow this pattern, unless he absolutely has to. The Spider-Man films are set in New York, but his other films are in more imaginative locations. "The Gift" takes place in a fictional small town in Georgia called Brixton. There are no landmarks to tell the viewer where he is, but he's immediately at home. It's small town America. There's a courthouse, and there's a church where every good person goes on Sunday.

Annie Wilson doesn't go to church. Does that make her a bad person? In the eyes of the townspeople, yes. She has a gift. She's psychic. It runs in her family. She can see both the future and the past. She's called a witch and a Satanist, but neither label applies to her. She's just a single mother struggling to earn enough money to feed her three children after the death of her husband. If she can make money from telling the future, so be it. However, it seems like most of her clients come to her for advice that any counsellor could give, even without psychic abilities. Valerie Barksdale is a woman whose husband hits her, so she comes to Annie to ask her what to do. I could answer that question myself.

The film is about a murder investigation. Jessica King, played by Katie Holmes, is engaged to the local school's headmaster. One evening she disappears and is feared dead. She's known to be promiscuous, so anyone could be a suspect. Jessica's father asks Annie to find her body, much to the distress of the town sheriff, who doesn't believe in hocus pocus.

I've written detailed reviews about this film and its cast in the past, but I forgot to mention Rosemary Harris as Annie's grandmother. She only appears for a few minutes, but her performance is so outstanding that she lifts the quality of the whole film. She must have impressed Sam Raimi, because he called on her to play Peter Parker's Aunt May in the Spider-Man films.

Success Rate:  + 2.5

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Stan Lee Love Stories 34 (August 1970)

Title: How can he love me?

Writer: Stan Lee

Artist: John Buscema

From Dusk Till Dawn (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #64

Seth Gecko, played by George Clooney, is in prison for armed robbery. His brother Richie, played by Quentin Tarantino, breaks him out of jail. They rob a bank and head towards the Mexican border to retire with their riches, killing 16 people on the way. Seth is a cold-hearted killer, but he's a professional. He only kills if he has to. Richie is a paranoid psychopath, who hears voices and can't keep his sexual urges under control. Seth is ashamed of his brother, but he still loves him and tries to look after him.

At a motel near the Mexican border the brothers meet Jacob Fuller, who's on holiday with his two children. He used to be a Baptist pastor, but he quit his job after having a disagreement with God. He hasn't completely lost his faith; he still believes that God exists. He just doesn't love God any more, because God allowed his wife to die a slow painful death after a car crash.

These are his children, Scott and Kate. Scott's adopted, in case you couldn't guess. Scott's wearing a T-Shirt that says "Precinct 13". This is a subtle hint that the film is in part based on John Carpenter's "Assault on Precinct 13".

Seth forces Jacob to drive him and his brother across the border. As I've already said, he's very professional and promises to leave Jacob's family unharmed if they do whatever he says. Richie has other plans with Kate, but Seth says he'll keep her safe.

This was the first film in which I saw the actress Juliette Lewis, and I was immediately impressed with her acting abilities. Since then I've seen her in a lot of films. It could be argued that she always plays the same character in her 1990's films: an innocent little girl. But she does it so well! I prefer her 1990's roles to the films that she made later.

Isn't she beautiful? Those eyes!

Could this be her signature role? Possibly.

In Mexico the Gecko brothers and Jacob's family take a break in a biker's bar called the Titty Twister. Ugh! I wouldn't be seen dead in a place like that. The name enough is enough to put me off. And this man welcoming the guests at the door would make me turn and run.

The Titty Twister is the home of a vampire clan. My regular readers know that I have vampire fantasies, but not when they're this ugly. I'll never complain about the ugly vampires in "Buffy" again.

Not all the vampires look so bad. Salma Hayek, whose stage name is Santanico Pandemonium, looks quite delicious.

She seems to have a leading position among the vampires.

And she can dance with a snake!

She has a tempting offer for Seth:

"I'm not gonna drain you completely. You'll be my slave".

"You'll be my footstool, and at my command you'll lick the dog shit from my boot heel".

"Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be Spot".

"Welcome to slavery".

If it had been me, I would have asked for more time to think it over. As it turned out, Seth shot her. That's not cool!

"I don't surrender to vampires! I'm Batman!"

Or is that another film?

"From Dusk Till Dawn" is a brilliant film, written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Robert Rodriguez. It's a throwback to the Italian horror films of the 1970's, but with modern production values.

I know his name has become unpopular in recent years, but the film would never have been made without the backing of Harvey Weinstein. In fact, none of Quentin Tarantino's films would have been made. The people who criticise Harvey Weinstein don't realise how important he's been in the film industry. He's done more for the advancement of cinema than anyone else in the last 40 years. That's no excuse for the way he's abused women. The "casting couch culture" has been commonplace in Hollywood for a hundred years, and Harvey Weinstein was convicted to set an example. In court he was found innocent of most of the charges against him, but he was sentenced to 23 years in prison for sexual assault and third degree rape.

Was it right to punish Harvey Weinstein so harshly? In my opinion, Yes. I just regret that it had to come to it. He's not the worst offender in the last 100 years. If other directors and producers had been punished for their crimes 50 years ago, Harvey Weinstein would have been too scared to abuse his position.

Success Rate:  + 1.1

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Ip Man 2 (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #66

"Although people have different statuses in life, everybody's dignity is the same. I hope that we can start to respect one another".

This is the second Ip Man film starring Donnie Yen, made in 2010, two years after "Ip Man". One thing that's obvious when you watch the four Ip Man films is that each film was supposed to be the last. Each film reaches a logical conclusion, and if the series had ended there, nobody would have complained. Of course, in the fourth film Ip Man dies, so it really must be the end. Unless, of course, there's a "Ghost of Ip Man" or "Franken-Ip-Man".

Donnie Yen claims that "Ip Man 2" is the best film in the series. I disagree. I find the first film better. It depends on what you want from a film. Maybe Donnie prefers the second film because of the fight scenes. There are fighters with different styles fighting against Ip Man, in particular the three masters who Ip Man has to defeat in Hong Kong. Maybe someone who knows more about kung fu than me can tell me the name of their styles. The third master, played by Sammo Hung, uses the Hung Kuen style, but the styles of the other two masters aren't named.

Ip Man's fighting style is Wing Chun. It's claimed that it was invented in the 18th Century by a woman called Ng Mui who observed the martial arts while working in a Shaolin temple, and then passed on her knowledge to a young woman called Yim Wing Chun. Many scholars doubt this story and dismiss it as a legend, but the film states it as fact. The martial artists who give interviews in the Blu-ray's extra features also accept it as fact.

Marie Sia Lonero has no doubt that Wing Chun was invented by a woman. It's not just because of her sympathies as a woman, it's because of Wing Chun's nature. She says that it's particularly useful for fighters who are smaller and lighter.

As in the first film, it's interesting to see Ip Man eating. He isn't as poor as he was during the Japanese occupation, but it's still a simpler meal than what he was used to in 1935. He never regained the wealthy status that was ripped away from him by the Japanese.

Maybe we should be glad that he lost his riches. Before the war he refused to found a martial arts school. In 1950, when the film takes place, he needs to open a school in order to pay his bills. If Ip Man had remained rich there might never have been a Bruce Lee.

One interesting thing about the Ip Man films is to see characters from previous films return under different circumstances. One example is Jin Shan Zhao, who was an adversary of Ip Man in the first film. When they meet again they become friends. Jin dismisses his former actions as the folly of youth. Now he's older and wiser.

Master Hung, played by the legendary Sammo Hung, doesn't need another film to change his ways. He begins the film as Ip Man's enemy, but he becomes his friend as the film progresses.

Ip Man reaches Master Hung's heart by impressing upon him the value of family. He certainly has a beautiful family: six daughters and a son. He's wealthier than Ip Man, but he still has to use newspapers as a tablecloth.

All four of the Ip Man films are excellent, but only the first two films have made it into my top 100 films list. Nevertheless, I'll try to rewatch the other two films soon, when I have time.

Success Rate:  + 1.9

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Stan Lee Love Stories 33 (July 1970)

Title: And so we'll be married!

Writer: Stan Lee

Artist: John Buscema