Red One (4 Stars)

If you've seen the trailer, you already know that this is a stupid film. The premise is simple: Santa Claus has been kidnapped two days before Christmas, and a computer hacker is hired to find him. Silly. But with a premise like that I had to go to the cinema to see what it's all about.

I'll start by saying that "Red One" refers to Santa's sleigh, analogous to the American president's Air Force One. He's been kidnapped by Gryla the Christmas Witch. She looks much more attractive in the film than in the legends. Gryla has good intentions, in the same way that Thanos has good intentions in "Infinity War". She wants to make the world a better place. Everyone on Earth is divided into a good list and a naughty list. Santa deals gently with those on the naughty list, hoping they'll behave better next year. Gryla wants to kill everyone on the naughty list. Thanos was content with killing half of the Earth's population. So many people are on the naughty list that Gryla will kill 99% of the population, but it's all for a good cause. The remaining 1% will live in peace and harmony.

Dwayne Johnson is Santa's head of security. He's an elf, sort of. E.L.F. is the organisation that serves Santa. Enforcements, Logistics and Fortification. Referring to himself, Dwayne calls himself Extremely Large and Formidable. A subplot is that he wants to resign after 582 years of serving Santa. He feels depressed that the naughty list has grown so large.

Is "Red One" a good film? Maybe. It took me a long time to decide on its rating. It's a silly film, but it has no aspirations to be anything else. I enjoyed it in the cinema tonight. It made me laugh out loud several times, which is a plus. I expect that the critics will tear it apart. They should have a better sense of humour. I doubt I'll watch it again, but it's a film worth seeing once.