Bikini Avengers (4 Stars)

This is the tenth film directed by Dean McKendrick, made in 2014. His last films were science-fiction and a swords and sorcery movie. Now he turns his attention to the super-hero genre. I suppose Martin Scorsese would say it's not a real movie, but who cares about his opinion anyway?

The film is based stylistically on the Batman TV series, but it copies elements from the Spider-Man comics and James Bond films. Lori and Stephanie are meek investigative reporters by day, but by night – or any time they can take a break – they become the super-heroes Bikini Avenger and Thong Girl. They're hunting for a mystery villain who has stolen a large diamond from a museum. The only clue is that the security guard was found naked on the floor.

It was the fiendish super-villain, the Jade Empress, who used her power of hypnotic suggestion to overcome the guard. But to be honest, she would have overcome me without any super powers.

What follows is a zany adventure, as the dynamic duo attempt to track down and capture the Jade Empress, who wants to cause destruction by using diamonds to power a giant laser beam in an orbiting satellite. That isn't her only aim. She also wants to take revenge on Bikini Avenger for defeating her in the past, so she lays a fiendish trap.

These are the sexiest super-heroes ever. Does anyone disagree? Erika Jordan stars as the Bikini Avenger (in gold), while Jacqui Holland plays her sidekick Thong Girl (in red). They're both good actresses, but I slightly prefer Jacqui Holland. Her naive innocence as the not-so-intelligent sidekick is at the same time amusing and appealing.

The Bikini Cave is hidden beneath the mansion where Lori and Stephanie live. Does it look familiar to you? It should. It's the house that was rented by the students in "Lolita from Interstellar Space". If you watch Dean McKendrick's films carefully you'll recognise a lot of locations that are used and re-used in his films.

If I were a super-villain, I'd be begging these two girls to arrest me. Or beat me up. Or tie me up. The order doesn't matter, as long as they do all three. I'm the evil Dansator.

Thong Girl: "I've knocked you down, Are you staying down?"

Dansator: "No, I'm getting up for you to hit me again".

Thong Girl: "Gosh, Bikini Avenger! That's the 69th time we've defeated Dansator this year".

Bikini Avenger: "Didn't you notice? I think he likes it".

Thong Girl: "Gosh, Bikini Avenger! I wish I was as smart as you!"