Tuesday 10 December 2019

Lolita from Interstellar Space (4 Stars)


This is the eighth film directed by Dean McKendrick, made in 2013. IMDB lists it as being made in 2014, but every film made by Dean McKendrick has a date stamp at the end of the credits, and for this film it's 2nd September 2013.

I began a marathon in June this year and said I'd watch all of Dead McKendrick's films over the next few weeks. For some reason my marathon ground to a halt in July after only seven films. Maybe I'm lazy, or maybe I was just distracted. Either way, I've let down my readers who love his films and softcore films in general. Let's update my goal: because of my holiday plans I shan't be able to complete my marathon this year, but I'll attempt to watch all 23 of his films by the end of January. No promises, but I'll do my best.

The casting in this film stands out from all of Dean McKendrick's other films. Usually he has a small group of actors that he rotates from film to film. This time he's given the leading role to a newcomer, Anna Morna, who will never return in any of his films after this. She's at least a newcomer for him. According to IMDB, she had already appeared in 14 films and several TV series. I regret that she never returned. She's an outstanding actress who would have added quality to his following films.


Anna Morna plays a high school student called Lolitha on a distant, highly advanced planet. Yes, her name is Lolitha, spelt with a TH. I'll get round to that in a moment. Her teacher, Professor Zarren, is unhappy with her grades, so he punishes her by sending her to Earth for extra-curricular activity. She has to learn about Earth customs, then come back and write a 100,000 word essay. Professor Zarren is played by the regular actor Nick Manning, but in this film he looks different. Something about his spiky hair makes him look like a Terminator.


There must be a good interplanetary exchange system, because Lolitha is automatically enrolled in an American college. It's not just any college, it's the same college that we've seen in "Strippers From Another World" and "Big Bust Theory". We don't see the lesson itself, just the chatter before class starts, but we all know that the professor is Ted Newsom. The girls have problems with Lolitha's name, so they call her Lolita. See, I told you I would explain it!

Lolita (to use her new Earth name) has nowhere to live, so Sarah and Brandy (pictured above) invite her to live with them. The eternal student Joe also lives in the house.


Can you call it a house? It's more like a mansion.


And this is the swimming pool out the back. Student accommodation was never that good when I was young.

Lucky Joe. He says he wants to have sex with Lolita, and she immediately agrees, because she doesn't know what it is. I wonder how they procreate on her planet. Maybe they touch fingers like in "Barbarella". I'm old fashioned. I prefer to do it the way I've always done it.


Lolita finds Earth sex so exciting that she rushes back to her planet to show Professor Zarren what she's learnt. He accepts the demonstration with a cool demeanour. It's all in the name of science.


But it's not just about having sex and listening to Ted Newsom's boring lectures. Lolita also has to work. Brandy has a part-time job as a Candy Striper. For those of you who don't know, that's the name given to unpaid volunteer nurses. The name comes from the red and white striped outfits they used to wear to distinguish them from the regular nurses. Nowadays they dress the same as the other nurses, but the name has stuck. This lucky patient, played by Alec Knight, must have good health insurance to be given a nurse dressed as sexy as Brandy.


And now Lolita also has a job as a Candy Striper. Is that a good thing? Is Alec's heart strong enough to take excitement like that?


My regular readers know that I'm a big fan of Christine Nguyen, who plays Sarah. I must have mentioned it at least 57,000 times in my blog. She was 33 at the time the film was made, but she still looks like a teenager. She's gorgeous.


Lolita agrees. Look at the passionate goodbye kiss that they share when Lolita's time on Earth is over.

The DVD is out of print, like most of Dean McKendrick's films. If you live in America it can be streamed by members of the Full Moon channel available with Amazon Prime.

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