Tuesday 30 June 2020

Dark Places (4 Stars)


Do you pay attention to the success rate that I post at the bottom of my reviews? It's the relative success of a film, proportionally to its budget. I don't always have the details, but when I do I post the value. Basically, any film with a positive success rate (especially if it's larger than +1) is a success, while any film with a negative success rate is a flop. "Dark Places" has a success rate of - 5.7, which means it bombed at the box office, despite its collection of A List stars. That's unfortunate. It's a good film that deserved to be successful.

When Libby Day was eight years old her mother and her two sisters were murdered. She was the only witness, and in court she testified that her brother Ben, aged 16, was the killer. That's a trauma that would ruin anyone's life, and it's certainly ruined her life. For 28 years she lived off her mother's life insurance, but now the money is gone, and she faces the possibility of having to work for the first time in her life. That is, if anyone will hire a 36-year-old who's never worked. Her chances look bad.

She receives a letter from a man called Lyle who promises her $500 for attending a meeting. That sounds too good to be true. She meets him at night in a launderette. It seems weird, but he says it's the best place, because he owns the launderette. He belongs to a group called the Kill Club. Its members are people who are fascinated by unsolved murder cases, so they want to meet her. Why Libby? The murder of her family was solved, wasn't it? Lyle says that the members of the club don't believe Ben was the murderer. They think that Libby's testimony was too confused and didn't match the evidence.


Libby thinks Lyle and his Kill Club are a bunch of cranks, but she needs the money, so she helps with Lyle's investigations. It's more accurate to say that she leads the investigations herself. She visits Ben in prison for the first time in 28 years, and he's not at all bitter, even though he claims he's innocent. Over the next few days Libby tracks down childhood friends and acquaintances, and she uncovers things that she's either forgotten or never knew. There were conspiracies involving drugs, Satanism, child abuse, and worst of all: heavy metal music!

Watching the film today for the first time, it fascinated me. How could a film like this possibly have flopped at the box office? There are first class performances by Charlize Theron, Christina Hendricks and Nicholas Hoult. Chloe Grace Moretz is a good actress as well, but her character, Ben's girlfriend, is constantly smoking. That puts me off. Despite that small negative aspect, I can strongly recommend the film to my readers.

Success Rate:  - 5.7

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Monday 29 June 2020

Guns Akimbo (4½ Stars)


Daniel Radcliffe plays Miles Lee Harris, a computer programmer trapped in a boring job writing code for a computer game about a squirrel that steals money. Wow! And I always thought programming computer games would be fun. In the evening he sits alone playing computer games that really are fun. He comes across Skizm, a game that looks real. He joins the chat and begins to insult the other people he's talking to. He's a troll, in the real sense of the word: a person who makes provocative statements online just to get a reaction.

The Skizm administrator enters the chat and tells Miles he knows his IP address. Later that night people break into his apartment and knock him out. When he finally wakes up he finds that guns have been bolted to his hands. He can't put them down. He's told that he has to prove he's a big man by playing Skizm for a day. He has 24 hours to kill Nix, the game's reigning champion. In parallel, Nix has been told by the game admin that if she kills Miles within 24 hours she can leave the game.

Miles can't dress himself without the use of his hands, so he stumbles into the street wearing his underpants, a bathrobe and a pair of slippers. Nix is already tracking him. He should have left his mobile phone at home. There are drones filming everything Miles and Nix are doing, streaming it live to the Internet. Soon there are millions of people watching. Most are cheering for Nix, as the popular champion, but as Miles manages to survive, more by luck than by skill, his popularity begins to rise.

This is an absolutely ridiculous film. It's difficult to take it seriously at all. Nevertheless, it's packed with so much action that it's more than just a comedy. Once we've suspended disbelief and have accepted the premise of a real life killing game, we're cheering for Miles.

Daniel Radcliffe is a fantastic actor. Whatever he touches turns to gold. How did he get from Harry Potter to here? Did he have innate acting skill that the casting directors recognised before the first film, or was he rigorously trained in between films for 10 years? Either way, he's become an amazing actor, and he has a long, successful career ahead of him.

Sunday 28 June 2020

Blue Story (4 Stars)


This is the second film I've gone to see in the cinema since the German lockdown restrictions were loosened on June 4th. That's when cinemas in Stuttgart were allowed to open again, although not all have done so. The cinemas Gloria, EM and Cinema are still closed, but Metropol has been open for three weeks. That's where I went today.

"Blue Story" is a film that became controversial because it sparked riots in Birmingham's cinemas when it was shown in November. That's ridiculous. The film is about street gangs, but it criticises gang culture, so why should it inspire young gang members to violence? There was nothing of it in Germany today. The film is only being shown for two days, but it was hardly noticed, because everyone is going to see Daniel Radcliffe's new film, "Guns Akimbo". Apart from me, there were only two other people watching "Blue Story" tonight. To be honest, I don't even understand why it was shown, because it's irrelevant to German audiences. I especially don't understand why it's being shown in English without subtitles, because the London accents must be unintelligible to Germans.

I enjoyed the film greatly, even if it shows a side of English culture that makes me ashamed of my country. It shows two teenagers who are united by friendship but divided by gangs. When Timmy was 11 his mother insisted on him going to a senior school in Peckham, rather than in Deptford where he lived. At the age of 16 his best friend is Marco, who lives in Peckham. Fights break out between the gangs in the neighbouring areas, the Peckham Boys and the Ghetto Boys. Youngsters are expected to be loyal to the gang where they live, but Timmy is torn between his friends and his neighbours. Timmy's girlfriend is also from Peckham. The first half of the film ends with an ambush in which Timmy's girlfriend is killed.

The second half takes place three years later. Timmy wants revenge on Marco, who he blames for his girlfriend's death. The fighting escalates.

I don't want to give away spoilers, but I'll say one thing: there's no happy ending. The next generation of teenagers continue on the path of violence of the gang members before them. It's a never ending cycle of retaliation, each gang thinking that it's justified.

It's a powerful film, maybe spoilt by the presence of too many characters. What I mean is, the main characters are easy to distinguish, but when supporting characters appear I have to ask myself which side they're on, and it's not clear until I see them talking to a main character. This is something that I'll understand better when I see the film a second time.

It's a musical, but only just. There are a few scenes scattered through the film where characters break into song spontaneously. At other times the background music gives a commentary on what's happening. Some people might not like the singing, but I would have liked more singing.

Marvel Years 14.04 - April 1974


Marvel has released yet another b/w magazine for 75 cents, which was a lot of money for a young comic book fan in 1974. The first issue contains a story about Shang-Chi, which could just as well have been included in Master Of Kung Fu, and the introduction of a new fighting team, the Sons of the Tiger. In addition, the issue contains articles about Bruce Lee and the Kung Fu TV series.

This will go on to be the most successful of the Marvel b/w magazines, as a result of the kung fu craze of the mid-1970's.




This month the comic Special Marvel Edition is renamed after its lead character, Master Of Kung Fu, retaining the numbering.

Master Of Kung Fu #17

Title: Lair of the Lost!

Writer: Steve Englehart
Artist: Jim Starlin

Villain: Steve Englehart, Jim Starlin, Al Milgrom

Regulars: Denis Nayland Smith, Black Jack Tarr


New York City is a dangerous place. Three Marvel employees, Steve Englehart, Jim Starlin and Al Milgrom, the writer, artist and inker of this very comic, attack Shang Chi in the street.



Steve and Al get the beating they deserve. Jim flees for his life.

This is disgusting. Marvel should pay them more, so that they aren't forced to resort to robbery on the street! Or maybe they're just high after doing LSD all night.

Meanwhile, Denis Nayland Smith has moved from London to Rye, New York. I'd never heard of it, but it's a pleasant little town in Westchester County, on the border of Connecticut. He wants to be closer to Fu Manchu, so he can take revenge on him before he dies. He's accompanied by a fighter called Black Jack Tarr, formerly a member of the British Foreign Service.

Shang Chi has a bad conscience after killing Dr. Petrie in Special Marvel Edition #15. He wants to ask Nayland Smith whether he should confess his crime to the police. When he enters Nayland Smith's home his intentions are misunderstood, and he has to fight his way through security guards, finally fighting Black Jack himself. When he finally faces Nayland Smith, he doesn't ask the question, he just tells him that he can stand up from his wheelchair if he believes he can do it.




Man-Thing #4

Title: The Making of a Madman!

Writer: Steve Gerber
Artist: Val Mayerik

Villain: Foolkiller

Regulars: Richard Rory, Ruth Hart


We're told the origin of the Foolkiller. He used to be a preacher, saving souls through preaching the Gospel. He became disillusioned that he couldn't stop the evil in the world by preaching, so he made himself a fancy costume, called himself the Foolkiller and set out to kill everyone who's evil or foolish or both.

Man-Thing was seemingly killed last issue, but his body recovers after lying in the swamp for a few minutes.

The Foolkiller wants Richard Rory to die, because he was a disc jockey who played blasphemous music on the radio. He tracks Richard down and tries to kill him, but Man-Thing protects him. Man-Thing's touch kills the Foolkiller. Seemingly?




Avengers #122

Title: Trapped in Outer Space!

Writer: Steve Englehart
Artist: Bob Brown

Avengers: Iron Man, Thor, Vision, Scarlet Witch, Swordsman, Black Panther

Villain: Zodiac (Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra)

Regulars: Mantis


The Avengers and the rebellious members of Zodiac are trapped in a rocket disguised as a shed. At first they continue to fight against one another. Then they agree to help one another return to Earth.

Libra, who remained neutral last issue, turns against Taurus and goes into space in a second rocket to save the Avengers. Back on Earth the rebels join Taurus again, and the 11 Zodiac members (all except Libra) attack the Avengers. The Avengers win the battle, but a mystery arises: Vision is scared of water and doesn't know why.

Libra says it was a mistake that he rescued the Avengers. He wrongly thought that Mantis was with them. Mantis is his daughter.




Captain America and the Falcon #172

Title: Believe it or not: the Banshee!

Writer: Steve Englehart
Artist: Sal Buscema

Villain: Moonstone

Guests: Professor X, Cyclops, Marvel Girl


Quentin Harderman tells Moonstone to keep Captain America and the Falcon unconscious until the press can report them being handed over to the police. They wake up and escape. They travel to Nashville, suspecting that it's the place where they can find the moon rock that's given Moonstone his power.

In Nashville they're attacked by Banshee, who thinks they're criminals. We last saw Banshee five years ago in X-Men #60, but it's even longer since we saw him use his powers. Banshee is too powerful for them to handle, but they're saved by the deus ex machina intervention of Cyclops. Banshee flies away. Professor X tells them that it was a misunderstanding. Mutants are being kidnapped by a secret group, and he suspects that Moonstone is involved, so they should join forces.




The Incredible Hulk #174

Title: Doomsday down under!

Writer: Roy Thomas, Gerry Conway
Artist: Herb Trimpe

Villain: Cobalt Man

Regulars: General Ross, Betty Ross


Bruce Banner is about to drown, but the Cobalt Man rescues him. He delivers him to a rescue boat, then flies to Sydney, Australia. In his own twisted way, he wants to do good. He thinks that nuclear power is evil, so he wants to detonate himself as a nuclear bomb in Sydney to show the world that it should stop using nuclear power.

Bruce Banner is recovering in hospital. He's been tranquillised, so Betty Ross gives him tablets to help him recover. He becomes the Hulk, and he attacks the Cobalt Man while he's building up his nuclear power. The Cobalt Man flies with the Hulk into space, intending to let him drop, but the Hulk refuses to let go. The Cobalt Man explodes in space, killing himself (seemingly). The Hulk falls back towards the Earth.




Amazing Spider-Man #131

Title: My Uncle, my Enemy?

Writer: Gerry Conway
Artist: Ross Andru

Villain: Hammerhead, Doctor Octopus

Regulars: Aunt May, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Betty Brant, Ned Leeds, Mary Jane Watson


Wow! I was scared for a moment. I thought Doctor Octopus would really marry Aunt May, but the wedding was interrupted by Hammerhead. Just in time!

Was it true love that made Doctor Octopus propose to May Parker? They've always been attracted to one another, ever since they first met 10 years ago in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1, but there's possibly another reason why he's finally decided to tie the knot. Aunt May has inherited a Canadian island, on which there's a nuclear breeding reactor. That's far fetched, Gerry, but I'll let it go.

Doctor Octopus flies to the island in his private jet, pursued by Hammerhead. Spider-Man hitches a ride in Hammerhead's helicopter. At the island, Spider-Man grabs Aunt May and flies away with her. It's kind of funny. Last issue he didn't know how to drive a car, but this issue he's managing to fly a plane without having taken any lessons.

Hammerhead attacks Doctor Octopus and runs head first into the atomic reactor. There's an atomic explosion that kills everyone on the island. Seemingly. How will Gerry Conway or any other Marvel writer explain this one away?


Roy Thomas still lives in the future. He says that Gwen Stacy died in Amazing Spider-Man #221, which won't be released until October 1981. Surely he means Amazing Spider-Man #121. If I didn't know better I'd think that Roy Thomas has been dropping LSD and beating up Chinese immigrants with Steve Englehart.




Fantastic Four #145

Title: Nightmare in the Snow!

Writer: Gerry Conway
Artist: Ross Andru

Fantastic Four: Reed Richards, Ben Grimm, Johnny Storm, Medusa

Villain: Ternak


Black Bolt summons Medusa back to the Great Refuge for something called Project Revival. She won't tell her fellow members of the Fantastic Four what it's about, but she asks Johnny Storm to accompany her.  Their pogo plane is shot down over the Himalayas. They're attacked by Yeti-like creatures, led by Ternak. They drive the creatures away, but in the cold they become steadily weaker.

The creatures, who call themselves the Chosen, are highly intelligent. They used to be peaceful before Ternak became their leader. Johnny and Medusa are captured.


When they escape, Johnny Storm has the temerity to yell the Thing's battle cry: It's clobbering time! There will be a lot of arguments when they get back home.

Ternak himself overcomes them. He tells them that he has a Climate Cannon (TM), with which he intends to reduced the temperature to below freezing point on the whole planet.




Thor #222

Title: Before the Gates of Hell!

Writer: Gerry Conway
Artist: John Buscema

Villain: Ares, Pluto

Regulars: Odin, Sif, Hildegarde, Krista

Guests: Zeus, Hercules


Thor and Hercules duel for the right to face Pluto. Zeus tells them to stop fighting and go together.

Together they defeat first an army of Trolls, then Ares himself.


John Buscema doesn't do many two-page drawings, but this is magnificent. It reminds me of Jack Kirby in his better years.

The two Gods prepare to enter Hades itself to face Pluto.




Tomb of Dracula #19

Title: Snowbound in Hell!

Writer: Marv Wolfman
Artist: Gene Colan

Regulars: Blade, Quincy Harker, Rachel Van Helsing, Frank Drake

Guests: Werewolf (flashback)

Kills: One man (total 26)

Embraces: None (total 8)


This story continues from Werewolf By Night #15. At the end of that issue we saw Rachel Van Helsing fleeing with the diary of Jack Russell's father, though not knowing why it's important to Dracula. Dracula was flying in pursuit. In this issue he catches the helicopter and throws out the pilot.


There are several inconsistencies in this part of the story, possibly errors made by Marv Wolfman. At the end of Werewolf By Night #15 Rachel Van Helsing and Frank Drake faced Dracula together. She ran to the helicopter, leaving Frank behind.


Here's the scene from the end of Werewolf By Night #15. Dracula is standing between Rachel and Frank as she runs to the helicopter. On the following page we didn't see Frank, so I assumed that he managed to get past Dracula when the Werewolf attacked. Here we see that Frank was left behind, and she left with a pilot.

The question is, why did she have a pilot with her if Frank was able to fly? She didn't know that he would be unable to leave with her. Also, where did the pilot come from? When they arrived in Werewolf By Night #15 they were alone in the helicopter. He must have been a local pilot from Transylvania. This means his skin colour is a problem. Before 1989 there were almost no black-skinned Romanians, and even now the country is only slowly beginning to open up to foreigners. So was the pilot an American? That's highly unlikely, because the country's borders were closed from 1946 to 1989, and the Communist regime mistrusted foreigners, especially Americans.

On the other hand, Marvel comics often ignored the isolation of Romania and Transylvania behind the Iron Curtain, possibly because the American writers didn't know how difficult it was to get in and out of the country. Jack Russell and Topaz visited the country as tourists, which was permissible, but Romania's secret police would have been tracking them to make sure they went to the place they said they would go. As for Frank Drake, a foreigner, being allowed to fly a helicopter in Romania, that's highly unlikely. He would have needed a registered Romanian pilot.

Apart from that, the geography is in question. The helicopter departed from the grounds outside Dracula's castle, and it crashed at a far distant location in the mountains. Why so far away? Dracula obviously caught the helicopter soon after take off, and it wouldn't have travelled far after the pilot was thrown out. The crash should have been only a few miles from the castle, making it easy for Dracula to fly back. Instead of this he's stranded with Rachel Van Helsing in the snowy mountains. This lays the foundation for a good story, but the premise is unfeasible.

Dracula and Rachel Van Helsing cross the mountains on foot. Rachel's leg is broken, so Dracula has to assist her. He keeps her alive, so that he'll have blood to drink when he needs it. Eventually Frank finds them, and he carries Rachel away, leaving Dracula in the snow.




Werewolf by Night #16

Title: Death in the Cathedral!

Writer: Mike Friedrich
Artist: Mike Ploog

Villain: Hunchback

Regulars: Topaz


This story is a homage to Victor Hugo's novel, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".

Jack Russell and Topaz are in Paris after leaving Transylvania. This is one of the rare months with four full moons, so he changes again on the fourth night.

A plane is being kidnapped by a hunchback. The Werewolf attacks him, and he flees to Notre Dame Cathedral. Topaz follows them so she can attempt to control the Werewolf. The Werewolf throws the Hunchback to his death.




Iron Man #67

Title: Return of the Freak

Writer: Mike Friedrich
Artist: George Tuska

Villain: Freak (Eddie March), Dr. Spectrum, Sunfire (cameo)

Regulars: Happy Hogan, Pepper Hogan, Roxanne Gilbert

Guests: Thor (Donald Blake)


This is a very slow-moving comic. It spends the first 10 pages cleaning up from last issue. Mike Friedrich is doing too much of what Gerry Conway doesn't do enough of.

Dr. Spectrum is released, because he has diplomatic immunity. Eddie March is sent to hospital for treatment. The operating surgeon, Dr. Donald Blake, says he's too weak to survive. Tony Stark remembers the Enervator (TM) that he used to save Happy Hogan's life in Tales Of Suspense #74. There's just a minor risk that the patient will turn into a murderous monster called a Freak. We can already guess where this story is heading, can't we?

Eddie March turns into a monster. Iron Man fights and defeats him.

When Tony Stark returns to Roxanne Gilbert's apartment, he finds a note that she's gone to look for Eddie's brother Marty, who is MIA in Vietnam.




Power Man #18

Title: Havoc on the High Iron!

Writer: Len Wein
Artist: George Tuska

Villain: Steeplejack (Jack Mallard)

Regulars: Dave Griffith, Noah Burstein, Claire Temple


Luke Cage talks to his dead girlfriend Reva at her grave. That's something I never understood until my father died. I don't often visit his grave, because he's buried in another country, but every time I stand at his grave I talk to him. Do I think he's listening? Not really, but talking to him comforts me. He wasn't a very understanding person, so what I say to him now is more personal than anything I ever said to him during his life.

He's asking Reva for advice. Is she okay with him moving on now that he has a new love interest, Claire Temple? What should he do about his criminal record? He was set up, as we read in Hero For Hire #1, but that doesn't change the fact that he's an escaped convict, a criminal in the eyes of the law. The man who set him up is dead, so there's no way he can prove his innocence.

Claire is listening. She advises him to track down the supply of drugs that were used for the set up.

On the way home, Luke sees someone attacking a man on a skyscraper that's being constructed. Luke leaps into action to protect the underdog. Of course. A construction worker using the nickname Steeplejack is trying to kill Maxwell Plumm, the building's owner, because he blames him for the death of workers on the site.


After saving Plumm's life, Luke offers him his business card. Really! If he wants to be taken seriously, he should have new cards printed.

Plumm hires Luke Cage to protect the building. He doesn't have to wait long. In the evening Steeplejack returns to sabotage the building with a self-designed flame gun.


The flames can't kill Luke, but they hurt him. He makes a shield by wrapping a tin in asbestos.


And he calls himself Captain Afro-America. That's funny.

A girder that Steeplejack has already sabotaged gives way. He falls to his death.

Luke's informant Flea calls him, saying he has news about the stolen drugs. When he goes to meet him, Flea is dying. He says that Cottonmouth did it. Who's that?




Ghost Rider #5

Title: And Vegas writhes in Flame!

Writer: Marv Wolfman
Artist: Jim Mooney

Villain: Roulette, Satan

Regulars: Roxanne Simpson


Dude Jensen reveals that he's really a demon, Roulette, the Demon of Las Vegas. He surrounds Roxanne Simpson with hell flames. Then he tells Ghost Rider that he's about to burn Las Vegas to the ground. Ghost Rider doesn't think that Las Vegas is worth saving, so he rescues Roxanne first.

Roulette primarily wants revenge against six casino owners, presumably mobsters. As Dude Jensen he lost money in their casinos, and when he couldn't pay his debts they shot him and dumped his body in a quarry. Satan gave him back his life in exchange for his soul. Revenge on the six casino owners is his own business, but Satan has given him the job of defeating Ghost Rider.


Roulette has built his own casino. Wow! I'm impressed!

When Ghost Rider enters the casino, Roulette is waiting. He asks Satan for additional power to kill Ghost Rider. While Satan is increasing his power, Ghost Rider also increases Roulette's power. It's too much for his body to absorb, so he explodes.

I hope this isn't really the end of Roulette. He's way too cool to die after only one issue.




Adventure Into Fear #21

Title: Project: Second Genesis!

Writer: Steve Gerber
Artist: Gil Kane

Villain: Daemond, Balkatar

Regulars: Tara


Morbius refuses to kill the sweet little girl in the car. He intends to go back to Daemond, but then his bloodlust overcomes him and he returns to attack her. She defends herself with eye blasts. She generates a vision of the beautiful woman she will one day become. He fights and defeats the woman. He bites her, but the vision dissolves and the little girl collapses with bite marks on her neck.

Morbius wants to take her to hospital, but he's stopped by cloaked men who call themselves the Caretakers. They came to Earth 10,000 years ago, in the early stages of man's evolution. They acted as man's teachers. However, they've recently become disappointed with man. He's turned to evil, so they want to create new beings, the Children of the Comet, to mingle with mankind and lead them on the right path.

Reverend Daemond is their enemy. He wants mankind to continue on its path of evil. They ask Morbius to kill him, because they themselves are incapable of killing. Morbius returns to Daemond, who conjures up a cat demon called Balkatar. Morbius is defeated. He sees that Daemond's partner is Martine, Morbius' former lover who he killed in Amazing Spider-Man #102.



Non-Canon comics published this month:

Deadly Hands Of Kung Fu #1 (Steve Englehart, Jim Starlin)
Vampire Tales #4 (Don McGregor, Tom Sutton)
Monsters Unleashed #5 (Tony Isabella, Vincente Alcazar)

Marvel Team-Up #20 (Len Wein, Sal Buscema)
Astonishing Tales #23 (Tony Isabella, Dick Ayers)
Strange Tales #173 (Len Wein, Gene Colan)

Conan the Barbarian #37 (Roy Thomas, Neal Adams)
Kull the Destroyer #13 (Steve Englehart, Mike Ploog)
Worlds Unknown #6 (Gerry Conway, Dick Ayers)

Friday 26 June 2020

Vamp (4 Stars)


Is this a good film? Probably not, but I have to give it a high rating because I'm biased. It's a film that's had a profound influence on my life for the last 30 years.

I first saw the film on television while I was on holiday with my family. We were in Cullen on the east coast of Scotland. I don't remember the exact year, but the film was released in 1986, so it must have been 1988 or 1989. For some reason I was alone in the evening. I was probably babysitting while my wife was out visiting friends, so I was watching television alone.

Something about the vampires in the film touched a nerve in me. I already knew about vampires. I'd watched films starring Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi since I was a child, and I'd even read Vampirella as a teenager, but the vampires in "Vamp" were different. The premise of a strip club where all the dancers are vampires was new to me. This was the beginning of an obsession with vampires that has lasted until today. I began to read novels about vampires, whatever I could find, but mostly I enjoyed the books written by Anne Rice. In the late 1990's I indulged in vampire roleplay in IRC chat channels. When I bought my first DVD player in 2003, I began to buy vampire films at random, anything I found in the shops. At that time Redemption Films was releasing Jean Rollin's old films on DVD, so he became one of my favourite directors.

One of the films I bought on DVD was "Vamp". At the time it wasn't available in England, so I had to buy the American release from Amazon. I don't know why I waited until 28th September 2005. Maybe I didn't know where to buy it before then.

When I watched it on DVD, the first time in more than 15 years, I was shocked. It wasn't the way I remembered it. In my memories I saw beautiful vampire strippers, alluring and seductive. That's not the way the film shows them. In their human form they're beautiful and sexy, but as soon as they transform into vampires they become ugly. Look at Grace Jones in the photo at the top of this post. She's gorgeous, even with white makeup and a red wig. But what does she look like as a vampire?


No thank you. It's interesting how my memories wiped out the ugliness of the vampires. In my sexual fantasies Grace Jones looked her perfect self.


This is how I remembered Grace Jones as a vampire. It's funny how my memory played tricks on me. I'm sure that a clever psychiatrist could explain it to me.

"Vamp" is a teen comedy. Keith and AJ want to be accepted into the fraternity house De Psi Phi. They're promised a place if they can provide a stripper for the party at the weekend. No problem. They hook up with their nerdy friend Duncan and drive to Los Angeles to the best strip club they can find.


I admit it, this newspaper ad looks appealing. When they arrive, it's a very sleazy neighbourhood, but they lose their reservations when they walk in and see the hot naked girls on stage.

There's a personal connection. One of the waitresses is Allison Hicks, who recognises Keith from school. When they were in fifth grade they kissed each other while playing spin the bottle. They started young. I didn't play spin the bottle until I was 19. It's a fun game. I can recommend it. As it turned out, Keith had totally forgotten about this pre-teen kiss, but Allison never forgot.

It's the relationship with Allison that saves Keith's life. While he's chatting with Allison, his friends are being bitten by the vampire strippers.


It would be fun being bitten by Grace Jones, as long as I don't have to look at her face. This is a scene I clearly remembered from the film, but the face isn't shown. Delicious!

This is a film that deserves a remake, but with sexier vampires.

Success Rate:  - 0.5

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