Showing posts with label Evan Stone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Evan Stone. Show all posts

Wednesday, 1 July 2026

Harlots of the Caribbean (4½ Stars)


It's taken a long time to get here. After 20 years, "Harlots of the Caribbean" has finally been released on Blu-ray. I was worried that Fred Olen Ray would only release his bikini films (as he likes to call them) if they starred Christine Nguyen, because she's his most popular actress, but here we have a film with the amazing Beverly Lynne, Rebecca Love, Nicole Sheridan and Beverly Lynne. Did I just say Beverly Lynne twice? It must be the echo out at sea.

That's not a harlot on the Blu-ray cover. It's the pirate queen Morgana, who used to have sex with every man before she made him walk the plank.


And those aren't harlots either. It's Beverly Lynne and Nicole Sheridan, modern day treasure hunters.

In fact, there aren't any harlots at all in the film. It's just a catchy title.

I bought two Blu-rays in the Medina collection that were released at the same time this month. I'll give a complete summary when I watch the other film.

Tuesday, 27 May 2025

Bewitched Housewives (4 Stars)


I'm always happy when films from the Medina Collection are rereleased on Blu-Ray. As usual, Fred Olen Ray has released two films as a double bill. Unfortunately, Christine Nguyen doesn't appear in the bewitching outfit she wears on the cover.

"Bewitched Housewives" is an older Medina film, made in 2006. At the time his films were made in SD (single density), so I'm surprised that the film looks so good on the Blu-Ray disc.


The improvements are subtle but impressive. This is the DVD.


This is the Blu-Ray. Ted Newsom's face has more detail, and the colour is more natural. I could give a dozen examples of the differences, but you'll just have to take my word for it. Even if you have the two films on the disc, it's worth buying them again.

As usual, Retromedia Blu-rays are available exclusively from Makeflix.

Here's an updated summary of the Retromedia films so far, with the Blu-ray releases marked.

The Medina Collection

1. Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002)
2. (BR) Bikini Airways (2003)
3. (BR) Haunting Desires (2003)
4. Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2003)
5. Bikini Carwash Academy (2004)
6. Erotic Dreams of Jeannie (2004)
7. Teenage Cavegirl (2004)
8. The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful (2005)
9. Bikini Chain Gang (2005)
10. Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006)
11. Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet (2006)
12. Harlots of the Caribbean (2006)
13. Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes (2006)
14. (BR) Bewitched Housewives (2006)
15. The Girl from BIKINI (2006)
16. (BR) Super Ninja Doll (2007)
17. (BR) Tarzeena (2007)
18. Voodoo Dollz (2008)
19. Bikini Royale (2008)
20. (BR) Bikini Frankenstein (2009)
21. (BR) Twilight Vamps (2009)
22. Bikini Royale 2 (2009)
23. (BR) Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2009)
24. Housewives from Another World (2010)
25. Lady Chatterley's Ghost (2010)
26. Bikini Time Machine (2010)
27. (BR) Sexual Witchcraft (2010)
28. Bikini Warriors (2010)
29. The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad (2011)
30. Dirty Blondes from Beyond (2012)
31. Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills (2012)
32. (BR) Baby Dolls Behind Bars (2012)

The McKendrick Collection

1. Strippers from another world (2013)
2. Big Bust Theory (2013)
3. Intergalactic Swingers (2013)
4. (BR) All Babe Network (2013)
5. Great Bikini Bowling Bash (2014)
6. Stacked Racks from Mars (2014)
7. Atomic Hotel Erotica (2014)
8. Lolita from Interstellar Space (2014)
9. Sexy Warriors (2014)
10. Bikini Avengers (2015)
11. (BR) College Coeds vs Zombie Housewives (2015)
12. Lust in Space (2015)
13. Erotic Vampires of Beverly Hills (2015)
14. Invisible Centerfolds (2015)
15. (BR) Cinderella's Hot Night (2017)
16. (BR) Sleeping Beauties (2017)

The Apocrypha

1. (BR) Bad Girls Behind Bars (2016)
2. Vixens From Venus (2016)
3. Cyborg Hookers (2016)
4. Cosmic Calendar Girls (2016)
5. Escape From Pleasure Planet (2016)
6. (BR) Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)

The Medina Collection consists of films directed by Fred Olen Ray using the pseudonym Juan Medina. The McKendrick Collection consists of films directed by Dean McKendrick. The Apocrypha consists of films directed for Retromedia by other directors.

Notes:
(1) "Bikini Carwash Academy" (Medina 5) was re-released with a different opening credits sequence, listing the director as Sherman Scott.
(2) "Tomb of the Werewolf" (not listed above) was directed by Fred Olen Ray using his own name, but it's in the Medina style. It has almost the same cast as "Haunting Desires".
(3) Dean McKendrick made seven erotic thrillers for Retromedia, not listed above.
(4) Apocrypha? If you have a better name for these films, let me know.

That's 16 out of 54 films released on Blu-ray so far. Let's hope the others will follow soon.

Monday, 18 November 2024

Super Ninja Doll (5 Stars)


Forget the MCU. It had its day. Now we need superhero films like "Super Ninja Doll".

It was made way back in 2007 as the 16th film in the Medina Collection. I can verify that the lead actress, Christine Nguyen, hasn't aged a day since then. As she wrote on Facebook in 2020, "I'm Asian. I'll always be a schoolgirl".


And here she is, sitting at school reading a copy of "Super Ninja Doll". What she doesn't realise is that the comic isn't fantasy. They're adventures that really take place in an alternate reality. The comic jargon is "another dimension". The ruler of this dimension is the evil Tantella. She wants to conquer the Earth by kidnapping the Earth's top scientists and draining their intelligence.


This is Tantella's henchman Gorath, played by the magnificent Evan Stone. Did you know he's appeared in over 1300 movies in his 25 year career? He's been busy.

In the film Gorath becomes stronger by having sex. Before going into action he needs sex to charge himself. I find that weird. With me it's the opposite. After having sex I'm worn out, definitely not in a fit state to conquer the Earth.


The first person that Gorath meets on Earth is Mike Gaglio, Christine's school teacher. I love this screenshot. There's no dialogue, the scene speaks for itself. Mike is an incredible actor, perfect in whatever role he plays.


Here he is telling off Christine for reading comics in class.


He sits down behind his desk before continuing the conversation. Wise thinking.

He confiscates her comic, but Christine has another one. And then kapow! Super Ninja Doll sucks Christine into the comic and asks her for help against the forces of evil. Christine receives a mystical artefact. Whenever she holds it in the air she transforms into Super Ninja Doll.


Christine transforms from this...


into this. I preferred her as a schoolgirl, but she needs her super powers.

This is the second film on the Blu-ray with "Tarzeena". The B film? I'm just going by their order. This is definitely the better of the two films. I'd go as far to say as it's one of the best films in the Medina collection. I like it more every time I watch it. I'm also happy to say that the film's remastering is very good. Every scene looks perfect, especially the facial close ups. This is a must buy for anyone who likes super heroes, science fiction or schoolgirls.

Tuesday, 12 November 2024

Tarzeena (4 Stars)


Fred Olen Ray has done it again. He's re-released two classic Christine Nguyen films on Blu-ray. Today I watched "Tarzeena", comparing the DVD and Blu-ray versions side by side on two screens. My first impression is that the remastering is mixed. In close ups the faces look clearer on the Blu-ray, but in the jungle and desert scenes there's hardly any noticeable difference. I wanted to show screenshot comparisons in this review, but for some reason I can't watch the Blu-ray on my computer. The screenshots in this post are all taken from the DVD. That's a shame. I'll try to solve the problem before I review the other film on the Blu-ray.

If I'd been judging this film on Christine Nguyen's merit, I would have given it five stars. It's let down by the mediocre acting of the husband and wife team Alexandre Boisvert and Nicole Sheridan. Every other actor in the film is excellent.


Christine looks like a Bettie Page impersonator when she's in the hands of the evil Doctor Mortimer.


He throws her onto a bed, still screaming, but all he wants to do is plant a chip in her brain to make her obey him. I have to say, I find a woman who obeys me boring. I prefer a woman with spirit who'll argue with me and reach for her whip if I don't give way.


I wrote more about the film in my last review.

As usual, Retromedia Blu-rays are available exclusively from Makeflix.

Here's an updated summary of the Retromedia films so far, with the Blu-ray releases marked.

The Medina Collection

1. Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002)
2. (BR) Bikini Airways (2003)
3. (BR) Haunting Desires (2003)
4. Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2003)
5. Bikini Carwash Academy (2004)
6. Erotic Dreams of Jeannie (2004)
7. Teenage Cavegirl (2004)
8. The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful (2005)
9. Bikini Chain Gang (2005)
10. Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006)
11. Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet (2006)
12. Harlots of the Caribbean (2006)
13. Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes (2006)
14. Bewitched Housewives (2006)
15. The Girl from BIKINI (2006)
16. (BR) Super Ninja Doll (2007)
17. (BR) Tarzeena (2007)
18. Voodoo Dollz (2008)
19. Bikini Royale (2008)
20. (BR) Bikini Frankenstein (2009)
21. (BR) Twilight Vamps (2009)
22. Bikini Royale 2 (2009)
23. (BR) Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2009)
24. Housewives from Another World (2010)
25. Lady Chatterley's Ghost (2010)
26. Bikini Time Machine (2010)
27. Sexual Witchcraft (2010)
28. Bikini Warriors (2010)
29. The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad (2011)
30. Dirty Blondes from Beyond (2012)
31. Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills (2012)
32. (BR) Baby Dolls Behind Bars (2012)

The McKendrick Collection

1. Strippers from another world (2013)
2. Big Bust Theory (2013)
3. Intergalactic Swingers (2013)
4. (BR) All Babe Network (2013)
5. Great Bikini Bowling Bash (2014)
6. Stacked Racks from Mars (2014)
7. Atomic Hotel Erotica (2014)
8. Lolita from Interstellar Space (2014)
9. Sexy Warriors (2014)
10. Bikini Avengers (2015)
11. (BR) College Coeds vs Zombie Housewives (2015)
12. Lust in Space (2015)
13. Erotic Vampires of Beverly Hills (2015)
14. Invisible Centerfolds (2015)
15. (BR) Cinderella's Hot Night (2017)
16. (BR) Sleeping Beauties (2017)

The Apocrypha

1. (BR) Bad Girls Behind Bars (2016)
2. Vixens From Venus (2016)
3. Cyborg Hookers (2016)
4. Cosmic Calendar Girls (2016)
5. Escape From Pleasure Planet (2016)
6. (BR) Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)

The Medina Collection consists of films directed by Fred Olen Ray using the pseudonym Juan Medina. The McKendrick Collection consists of films directed by Dean McKendrick. The Apocrypha consists of films directed for Retromedia by other directors.

Notes:
(1) "Bikini Carwash Academy" (Medina 5) was re-released with a different opening credits sequence, listing the director as Sherman Scott.
(2) "Tomb of the Werewolf" (not listed above) was directed by Fred Olen Ray using his own name, but it's in the Medina style. It has almost the same cast as "Haunting Desires".
(3) Dean McKendrick made seven erotic thrillers for Retromedia, not listed above.
(4) Apocrypha? If you have a better name for these films, let me know.

That's 14 out of 54 films released on Blu-ray so far. Let's hope the others will follow soon.

Sunday, 1 September 2024

Haunting Desires (4½ Stars)


I can already hear my readers screaming that I've made a mistake. The film is called "Grave Desires". That's what it says on the Blu-ray box. Yes, I know, but the film's original title was "Haunting Desires" when it was released in 2003. The title was changed for the new release for copyright reasons. But I'm glad that I finally have it in my hands. I say finally, because it's the only Medina film which hasn't been released until now, apart from a censored version that Fred Olen Ray put together for Blockbuster.


The film is about a strip club in which the dancers are vampires. They make no attempt to hide their activities. They leave the corpses of their male customers naked and drained of blood where they're easy to find. The police are quick to investigate. Detective Trout (Jay Richardson) is aided by the newspaper reporter Jill Connor (Beverly Lynne). Or is he hindered by her? It's a bit of both.


For me, the person who carries the film is Evan Stone as the vampire Adrian. Evan is a prolific actor who's made over 1200 films, but I consider this his best role. This was his second film with Fred Olen Ray after "Tomb of the Werewolf", and they went on to make another 12 films together.


For some reason, Eric Masterson isn't credited, despite having a lot of screen time. He plays Jill Connor's unfaithful husband.


I find it difficult to believe any man would be unfaithful to a woman who looks like this. Beverly Lynne must be one of the most beautiful women on the planet.

The film isn't available from Amazon. It's sold exclusively by Makeflix, like most of the other recent Retromedia films.

Here's a summary of the Retromedia films so far, with the Blu-ray releases marked.

The Medina Collection

1. Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002)
2. (BR) Bikini Airways (2003)
3. (BR) Haunting Desires (2003)
4. Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2003)
5. Bikini Carwash Academy (2004)
6. Erotic Dreams of Jeannie (2004)
7. Teenage Cavegirl (2004)
8. The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful (2005)
9. Bikini Chain Gang (2005)
10. Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006)
11. Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet (2006)
12. Harlots of the Caribbean (2006)
13. Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes (2006)
14. Bewitched Housewives (2006)
15. The Girl from BIKINI (2006)
16. Super Ninja Doll (2007)
17. Tarzeena (2007)
18. Voodoo Dollz (2008)
19. Bikini Royale (2008)
20. (BR) Bikini Frankenstein (2009)
21. (BR) Twilight Vamps (2009)
22. Bikini Royale 2 (2009)
23. (BR) Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2009)
24. Housewives from Another World (2010)
25. Lady Chatterley's Ghost (2010)
26. Bikini Time Machine (2010)
27. Sexual Witchcraft (2010)
28. Bikini Warriors (2010)
29. The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad (2011)
30. Dirty Blondes from Beyond (2012)
31. Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills (2012)
32. (BR) Baby Dolls Behind Bars (2012)

The McKendrick Collection

1. Strippers from another world (2013)
2. Big Bust Theory (2013)
3. Intergalactic Swingers (2013)
4. (BR) All Babe Network (2013)
5. Great Bikini Bowling Bash (2014)
6. Stacked Racks from Mars (2014)
7. Atomic Hotel Erotica (2014)
8. Lolita from Interstellar Space (2014)
9. Sexy Warriors (2014)
10. Bikini Avengers (2015)
11. (BR) College Coeds vs Zombie Housewives (2015)
12. Lust in Space (2015)
13. Erotic Vampires of Beverly Hills (2015)
14. Invisible Centerfolds (2015)
15. (BR) Cinderella's Hot Night (2017)
16. (BR) Sleeping Beauties (2017)

The Apocrypha

1. (BR) Bad Girls Behind Bars (2016)
2. Vixens From Venus (2016)
3. Cyborg Hookers (2016)
4. Cosmic Calendar Girls (2016)
5. Escape From Pleasure Planet (2016)
6. (BR) Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)

The Medina Collection consists of films directed by Fred Olen Ray using the pseudonym Juan Medina. The McKendrick Collection consists of films directed by Dean McKendrick. The Apocrypha consists of films directed for Retromedia by other directors.

Notes:
(1) "Bikini Carwash Academy" (Medina 5) was re-released with a different opening credits sequence, listing the director as Sherman Scott.
(2) "Tomb of the Werewolf" (not listed above) was directed by Fred Olen Ray using his own name, but it's in the Medina style. It has almost the same cast as "Haunting Desires".
(3) Dean McKendrick made seven erotic thrillers for Retromedia, not listed above.
(4) Apocrypha? If you have a better name for these films, let me know.

That's 12 out of 54 films released on Blu-ray so far. At the current speed they won't all be available on Blu-ray until 2040. I'm hoping Fred will speed up, but there are problems with the early Medina films. The first films were made in single density, so they'll need time-intensive remastering to be prepared for Blu-ray. Fred will only do that if he's 100% certain he'll make a profit. The later films shot in high density can be transferred to Blu-ray with a minimum of effort.

Tuesday, 20 February 2024

Tomb of the Werewolf (4 Stars)


Yes, I know the title on the Blu-ray cover says "The Unliving", but I prefer to call the film by its original title, "Tomb of the Werewolf". After years of begging, Fred Olen Ray has finally released it on Blu-ray. It's a treat for any of the fans of Paul Naschy and gothic horror.

I'm in a bad way today. I'm suffering from flu and have a throbbing headache, so I can't write much about the film. Here's the summary from the back cover.


And here's a photo of the beautiful Beverly Lynne. It was her first film with Fred Olen Ray, after which she became a regular.


After "Tomb of the Werewolf" she appeared in another 15 films directed by Fred Olen Ray, followed by six films directed by Dean McKendrick.

It's also worth mentioning that this is the first film that the majestic Evan Stone made with Fred Olen Ray. He made another 14 films after this.

A wonderful film. But now I'm going to bed. Goodnight, all.

Friday, 13 November 2020

Super Ninja Doll (4 Stars)


"I'm Asian. I'll always be a schoolgirl" (Christine Nguyen, 11th November 2020).

"Super Ninja Doll" is the third film included in the Christine Nguyen Collection. This was a necessary rerelease, because the original DVD was long out of stock. Unfortunately, the Christine Nguyen Collection is now also sold out, and I have no way of knowing if it will ever be made available again.

As in "Voodoo Dollz", Christine is playing a schoolgirl once more. It's a role she plays well, however old she gets. She's a naughty girl who reads comics in class. What she doesn't know is that her comic is a portal from another universe. A warrior called Gorath enters our world in order to steal the Earth's most intelligent scientists.


There weren't any girls like this in my school. I grew up in the wrong country.


Sunday, 8 November 2020

Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet (4 Stars)


I'm still experimenting with my new television set and 4K Blu-ray Player. I've already seen how well it upscales films from the standard 1080p resolution to 4K quality. I was highly impressed. Today I wanted to see how it handles upscaling from DVD resolution (probably 540p) to 4K. The picture was good, but not perfect. It was slightly blurred, especially in complex scenes with a lot of people. Nevertheless, it's an improvement over upscaling to 1080p.

Click here to read my review of this film. The original release is long out of print, and even the rerelease in the Christine Nguyen Collection, pictured above, is now unavailable. This is an item that you had to grab while it was hot.

Thursday, 5 December 2019

Tomb of the Werewolf (4 Stars)


"There's nothing I like more than two girls together in a gothic horror film stretched out on a bed with some candles going". (Fred Olen Ray)

I was inspired to watch this film after reading a few days ago that it was the 10th anniversary of Paul Naschy's death. For those who don't know him, he was Spain's best known actor in horror movies. He's most commonly compared to Lon Chaney, because he portrayed all of the classic horror characters: Frankenstein's monster, Count Dracula, the Wolfman and the Mummy. He's best known for playing the Wolfman, 12 films from 1968 to 2004, in which he's always an incarnation of Count Waldemar Daninsky. "Tomb of the Werewolf" is the 12th and final film.

Before watching the film today I read my last review and saw that I promised to listen to the director's commentary next week. That was three years ago. Oops! So I made up for it by listening to the commentary today.

I don't often listen to commentary tracks. Usually they're boring, especially for new films. It seems to be a chore for the directors. The studios tell them, "You have to do a commentary track to make people buy the DVD/Blu-ray instead of just watching it on Netflix". Just because a man is a good director, it doesn't mean he's interesting to listen to, especially if he never wanted to talk about something. Even adding a film's principal actors to the mix doesn't improve the quality of the track.

Commentaries worth listening to are:

1. "Batman" (1966). Adam West and Burt Ward.

2. "Basic Instinct", Camille Paglia (available on DVD only).

3. Any commentary by Joe Bob Briggs.

and.....

4. Any commentary by Fred Olen Ray.


In the commentary for "Tomb of the Werewolf" Fred Olen Ray is supposedly being interviewed by David DeCoteau, but it turns into a chat between two old friends. During their conversation they often get diverted and talk about their other projects that have nothing to do with the film, but whatever they have to say is interesting. I wasn't bored for a moment, I was hanging on Fred's every word.

The commentary was recorded in 2013, nine years after the film was released in 2004. What's interesting for me as someone outside of the movie business is that he has trouble remembering details. He's not sure whether he made the film in 2001 or 2002. He can't remember whether he made it before or after other films that he made in the early 2000's. I can relate to that in comparison with my own career in software engineering. I did some big projects, but I can't always remember what year it was. I have difficulty remembering the exact years I did them. My projects were bigger than Fred's films, as far as the time was concerned. If I'm unable to remember when I worked on an 18-month project, Fred can be forgiven for forgetting the exact dates of a six-day film.

Yes, six days. Fred's trademark is his ability to make a good film in a short period of time.


Paul Naschy was visiting Los Angeles on other business, and Fred was keen to make a film with him. Fred didn't find out until he met him that he didn't speak a single word of English, but that didn't put him off. It was important to Fred that Paul's voice shouldn't be dubbed, so the script was written to keep his dialogue to a minimum, and Paul learnt his few lines phonetically. Paul was only available for three days, so his scenes were filmed first. A stand-in actor was needed for additional scenes after he left.


Something else of note is that this is the first film that Beverly Lynne made with Fred Olen Ray. Another actress, whose name Fred has forgotten, dropped out at the last moment, and Beverly was recommended by a friend. Fred was so impressed with her that he's used her in dozens of films since then. He can't say how many, but I could name 17 films that I have in my DVD collection.


Even though Fred has been using Michelle Bauer in his movies since 1988, this is the first film in which he's filmed her performing a sex scene. He says he can't remember if it was the only time, but it was definitely the first. Please, Fred... how could anyone forget something like that? Supposedly Michelle was nervous about the scene because she considered herself too old. She was 42 or 43, depending on when the film was made, and she said that nobody would want to look at her. I don't understand why she was so insecure. She was the sexiest woman in the film, as her lesbian sex scene with Jacy Andrews proves.

Sex scenes in a horror movie? Yes, there are five of them: three boy-girl scenes, and two girl-girl scenes. When Fred made the film he was concerned that it might not make any money, so he added the sex scenes to make it appealing for late night cable viewing. In retrospect, that might not have been a good idea. The film had too much sex for fans of horror movies, and too much horror for fans of sex movies. The film was a financial failure, and it failed to break even. That doesn't mean that Fred regrets making the film. It was a matter of prestige. For him it was an honour to make a film with Paul Naschy, so any money that he lost was considered paying for the privilege.

In the commentary Fred compares "Tomb of the Werewolf" with "Haunting Desires", which he made at roughly the same time. He can't remember which he made first, but Beverly Lynne was in both films, so "Haunting Desires" must have come later. Fred says that the mixture of gothic horror and sex works better in "Haunting Desires". I agree. There are probably two reasons for this. "Haunting Desires" has a better plot. "Tomb of the Werewolf" was probably written in a hurry when Fred found out that Paul was in Los Angeles. The other reason is that vampires are sexier than werewolves, so vampires and sex are always a good mix.




Beverly Lynne becomes a werewolf. Or should she be called a she-wolf? I don't know. Either way, I think it's a shame she never reprised this role in her later movies.





Michelle Bauer plays Elizabeth Bathory, and she needs the blood of virgins to stay eternally young. I thought that the real Elizabeth Bathory didn't drink blood, she bathed in it. Call it artistic license. And is Jacy Andrews really a virgin? Earlier in the film she had lesbian scenes with Beverly Lynne and Michelle Bauer. But technically, lesbian sex doesn't take away a woman's virginity, I suppose. It's all a matter of definition.

The best way to listen to a commentary track is to play it while watching the film with the main subtitles. That way you don't miss anything. Unfortunately, the DVD doesn't have any subtitles. I know the film well enough to do without, but it's still a loss.

One unrelated but nevertheless interesting thing in the interview is that people in Los Angeles like to rip off film makers. David DeCoteau, also a film director, wanted to use a church in one of his films. He spoke to a nun and offered her $1,000. She laughed and replied, "When the Julia Roberts film was made they paid us $15,000 a day". (What film was that? "Runaway Bride"?)

That's a total rip-off. The nun should be ashamed of her greed. I would have dropped $10 in the collection box.

Saturday, 11 August 2018

Bikini Chain Gang (4 Stars)


Two months ago this film was re-released as a remastered widescreen edition. As far as I can tell from a quick comparison with the previous version no attempt has been made to improve the resolution. The only change is that the picture has been less cropped and is now a 16:9 image rather than a 4:3 image. I need to do a more thorough comparison when I have time. The biggest improvement over the DVD I already had is that it was a double-sided DVD with "Bikini Airways" on the other side. Very few things annoy me as much as double-sided DVDs. I would go so far as to describe such a disc as faulty and return it to the store, if I ever accidentally purchased one again.

Beverly Lynne stars as Jessie Owens, a night club waitress. Her creepy boss wants to have sex with her, but she refuses and gives him a hard knee in the balls. Good for her! But she doesn't reckon with her boss's revenge. The same evening there's a robbery in the club, so the boss tells the police that Jessie was the robber's accomplice. She's sent to prison and put to work on the chain gang.

"Today you'll be breaking rocks with heavy tools for no apparent reason. You'll be doing this all day long".

That might sound bad, but it at least gives her a chance to get a sun tan in the bikinis issued to the chain gang.


Jessie gives her boss a swift sharp punishment. I wonder how many takes this scene needed until the actor Don Donason could realistically portray pain for the camera. Beverly looks like she was enjoying it.


Jessie looks miserable when she's sent to prison. Was it worth it?


The prison warden is Jay Richardson, Mr. Nice Guy himself. But I fear he has a dark side. Look at the BDSM toys hanging on his wall: whips, chains and hammers.


At least the girls get a workout. Breaking big rocks into small rocks for no apparent reason has never looked so sexy.


The girls escape from the chain gang and meet a man who's parked his car nearby. He can't believe his good fortune.


They offer him unspeakable pleasure in the back of his car...


but instead of giving him anything they tie him up. I'm just curious why they didn't pull his underwear down as well. Maybe full frontal nudity wasn't in the actor's contract.

"Bikini Chain Gang" is no Oscar winner, but it's perfect as a light-hearted romp.

Thursday, 26 July 2018

Lust for a Witch (4 Stars)


David Blake is a writer of romance stories. They're bad romance stories, as he himself admits, but as long as there are people out there with enough bad taste to buy his books he'll carry on writing them. His wife Justine is a model. She's often away from home for photoshoots, giving him time alone for his writing. When the film starts he's suffering from writer's block. That's to be expected. Almost all authors in films have writer's block. It's a common plot device.

One morning, after a heavy drinking session, a woman appears outside his house. She claims to be the house's former owner, a witch who has travelled from the 17th Century into the future to escape the Salem Witch Trials. After a hefty sex session the woman, who isn't named, disappears, leading David to believe he had imagined her, so he swears to never drink again. In the meantime Justine returns home with a photographer and his girlfriend. The witch, who is still hiding in the house, kills the photographer and his girlfriend, then encourages David to kill his wife. At the same time David begins to write again, this time a book about the Salem Witch Trials.

"Lust for a Witch" was made in 2004 with the name "Burn", but it wasn't released on DVD until this year. From what I've read the film's sex scenes were either removed or shortened, cutting the running time from 145 minutes to 83 minutes. That's a lot of cuts!

The film is directed by Michael Windsor, but I suspect it's a pseudonym because no other films are listed for him. I've tried without success to find out who he is. There seems to be a connection with Retromedia, the company that has released the DVD this year, because four of the main actors (Evan Stone, Alexandre Boisvert, Nicole Sheridan and Rebecca Love) were frequent participants in the Medina collection from 2003 to 2012.


I was fascinated by Evan Stone's performance as David Blake. Until now I've only seen him play comedy roles. "Lust for a Witch" proves that he's capable of playing serious roles. When he begins to write again he displays a mania that's reminiscent of Jack Nicholson in "The Shining".


The whole film is darker and grittier than any of the erotic films made by Retromedia. Nevertheless, it shares many of the leitmotifs, such as the background music. If I find out more about the film I'll inform you next time I watch it.