Stacked Racks From Mars (4 Stars)

This is the sixth film directed by Dean McKendrick, made in 2013. If you've been paying attention to my reviews you will have noticed that all six of his films were made in 2013. He's a high speed director. His films were usually filmed in one day. He's said that because of tight budget constraints speed was always more important than quality. If that's the case, it's remarkable that his films are so good. Most of them are now out of print and have become collectors items among Dean McKendrick's fans. This DVD, for instance, is being offered for $700 to those unlucky enough not to have bought it when it was first released.

As is typical for Dean McKendrick's films, the title is inaccurate. The films were made for television, so someone sat down and thought up a spectacular title that would attract viewers. In many cases, when it came to the DVD release someone thought up a better title, so it was changed. "Better" means more spectacular, not more accurate. In this case, the original totally inaccurate title was retained. The two girls in the picture aren't from Mars, they're from a planet in a distant galaxy. Or maybe their planet is called Mars as well? If Germany can have two cities called Frankfurt, why shouldn't the universe have two planets called Mars?

Okay, their racks are stacked. I won't argue with that part. The two alien visitors, Isis and Vala, are played by the well stacked actresses Christie Stevens and Erika Jordan. Their intention is to conquer the Earth, stealing all its resources and leaving it behind as a lifeless husk. This sounds like Dean McKendrick's version of Galactus, but a lot sexier. Are two sexy aliens enough to conquer the whole Earth? One look at them and I yell Yes! Resistance is futile!

Rather than just rushing into action, the girls want to examine the Earth first. They take over the bodies of two Earth women, Stephanie and Veronica. So Isis has become a brunette, and Vala has become a blonde. The aliens may have swapped bodies, but they're still well stacked, played by the actresses Sophia Bella and Beverly Lynne. The girls are curious. The women whose bodies they're occupying are both beautiful and sexy, but their husbands are being unfaithful.

I'm curious as well. If I had a wife as gorgeous as Beverly Lynne I wouldn't even glance at other women. Isn't Jim (played  by Alexandre Boisvert) happy? Why the sad face?

That's better. Now he's smiling!

Just look at the view from Jim's back garden. If I had a house like that I'd never want to go on holiday. I'd be making waves in the hot tub with Veronica every day. Except she's not Veronica any more, she's Vala, and she's about to drain the Earth dry. If Jim's lucky she'll drain him first.

That's it, Jim, keep smiling! There's something about Alexandre Boisvert. With a face like his, he's a perfect comic actor. I can't help feeling that he's just as funny in real life.

This is one of Dean McKendrick's funniest films. Does it end with the world being conquered? You'll have to pay $700 if you want to find out.