Mean Girls (4½ Stars)

Merry Christmas to all my readers. To be honest, I don't celebrate Christmas, but if Santa looked anything like this I might change my mind.

I watched "Mean Girls" recently, and I was so fascinated that I had to return to it as quickly as possible. It's just like "Scream", but without the screaming. The narrative style is so effective that it's hyper-realistic, so that you're not sure whether it's parodying a documentary or attempting to be a real documentary. The main character, Cady Heron, directly addresses the audience in her voiceover.

The last two times I reviewed this film I didn't go into the plot. I'll make up for that now.

16-year-old Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan) grew up in Africa, where her parents worked as zoologists. All this time she was home-schooled. Now they've moved back to America, so she has her first day at school, ten years too late. She's introduced to all the school cliques, from the math nerds to the football jocks. She makes friends with Janis, the school's only goth girl. Janis can't form a clique by herself, so she hangs out with Damian, the school's only gay boy. Actually, he's more than just gay. He seems to think of himself as female. He uses the girls' bathroom, and when the principal orders all the girls to go to the gym he goes with them. He's one of the girls.

Cady is invited to join the Plastics, the school's elite group of fashionable but shallow girls. They offer her friendship, as long as she doesn't challenge the Queen Bee of the Plastics, Regina George (Rachel McAdams). Cady doesn't feel comfortable with them, but Janis recommends that she join the Plastics so that she can spy on Regina George. Janis used to be her best friend in middle school, but now that she's been dumped she's obsessed with her ex-friend.

Isn't Janis too beautiful to be a goth girl? Or maybe I'm biased. I've always liked girls in black, as long as they don't overdo the piercings. As I often say, "There should never be metal in any place that I like to kiss, lick or suck".

Cady's work as an undercover spy for Janis gets confused when she falls in love with Aaron Samuels, Regina's ex-boyfriend. Now we see just how mean Regina can be. She dumped Aaron, but when she finds out that Cady is interested in him she takes him back, just because she can. Maybe she thinks that if Cady dates her ex-boyfriend the other girlswill think that Cady stole him from Regina.

One of the most important things about being a Plastic is regular telephone conferences. Clockwise from bottom left it's Cady Heron, Gretchen Wieners, Karen Smith and Regina George.

I've always had something of a crush on Amanda Seyfried, who plays Karen Smith. Her eyes fascinate me.

Or do I prefer Lizzy Caplan as Janis? It's a tough choice.

No, I have to stick with Amanda Seyfried. Lizzy Caplan only dressed up as a goth for this movie. She looks a lot more conservative in real life. Unfortunately. On the other hand, Amanda Seyfried always has big eyes.

But let's get back to the plot. Cady started out pretending to be one of the Plastics, but the lifestyle corrupts her. She enjoys being a member of her school's elite clique. She takes revenge on Regina for taking Aaron away from her, but the end result is that Cady has become the new Queen Bee.

Cady has to decide what's important. Is it better to be popular or to be loyal to your friends? That might seem like an easy question to answer, but when you're a 16-year-old girl and your best friends are the school's outcasts there's a big difference between knowing what's right and doing what's right.

This is a very good film that I'm sure to watch again soon.

Success Rate:  + 5.6

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