Wednesday, 23 December 2015
Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (4 Stars)
This is the 23rd film in the Medina Collection, made in 2009. It stars Christine Nguyen as Dr. Jones, an adventurer working in partnership with the CIA. She has to find the Temple of Eros before her enemy, Evilla Cruella (Heather Vandeven) finds it. The temple contains a mystical tiara, and whoever wears it will become the Queen of Moronica. I wonder if this is the same kingdom as Moronico, which we see in "Erotic Dreams of Jeannie" and some of the other early Medina films.
The mission isn't as easy as it sounds. The temple is guarded by a prehistoric monster.
But Christine Nguyen never gives up. Don't argue with a girl with a gun.
Ted Newsom is head of the CIA, still sporting a very manly beard.
But that's all that's manly about him. He's a closet drag queen. He puts on his prettiest dress and steals the tiara for himself. That's a sight I never want to see again. On the other hand, he doesn't look as bad as Heather Vandeven when she takes off her clothes and reveals her hideous scars to the world.