Thursday, 17 December 2015

The Girl from BIKINI (4 Stars)

This is the 15th film in the Medina Collection, made in 2006.

In the careers of many great actors there is one film or one role for which they will always be known. I call this their signature role. Tom Hanks will always be known as Forrest Gump, however many good films he's made since then. Arnold Schwarzenegger will always be the Terminator. Anthony Hopkins will always be Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Tanya X, the Girl from BIKINI, is Beverly Lynne's signature role. This film was so successful that it spawned two sequels and a TV series. I can imagine that when Beverly is 75 years old in the supermarket buying groceries kids will be pointing at her and saying, "Look, Mom, it's the Girl from BIKINI".

In case anyone doesn't recognise her, this is her card. "Tania X, Special Agent 0069". The card spells her name with an I, not a Y. Later on in the film series her name is definitely written as "Tanya". Maybe it's a mistake, or maybe there's a logical explanation. We all know that Star Trek's James Tiberius Kirk started out as James R. Kirk. That was a blunder, but apologists have tried to cover it up by saying he might have had two middle names.

This is Tanya X herself, the amazing Beverly Lynne. I seem to remember that I didn't appreciate her acting when I first watched her films. She has a style which is half way between serious and comedy. She's funny, but not very funny, if you know what I mean. After watching her films back to back she's growing on me.

Now to her mission, on which the fate of the free world depends. Someone is blocking the broadcast of a surfing radio channel which is used for sending encrypted messages by the FBI, the CIA and BIKINI. Tanya is sent by her boss (Brad Bartram) to find out who is responsible. Her assignment leads her to the remote areas of northern China, where she confronts the evil mastermind Fay Wong. It seems that all the evil masterminds in the Medina films are women.

All evil masterminds have a henchman, and in this case it's Mong Lee, played by Evan Stone. He must come from a mixed up family. He looks like a European, but he has a Chinese name and dresses like a Japanese samurai.

Tanya is aided by the CIA undercover agent Alexandre Boisvert. Undercover? With hair like that? Wherever he goes people will be staring at him.

Evan Stone is more successful at going undercover. Here we see him disguised as a door-to-door hairbrush salesman. He might have looked more convincing if he'd left his samurai sword at home.

You're probably wondering if Nicole Sheridan is in the film. I can tell Nicole's fans that there's good news and bad news. The good news is that she does appear, playing a nightclub stripper who relays important information to Tanya. The bad news is that she's killed in the middle of a lesbian sex scene. Love hurts.

This is also the film in which Nicole shows off one of her special skills. She can cross her legs behind her head. Honestly! You have to see it to believe it.

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