Dirndljagd am Wörthersee (1 Star)

This is an Austrian comedy made in 1984. The use of the word "Dirndl" in the title makes it sound like it's connected to the Bavarian erotic comedies of the 1970's, which I've been reviewing over the last two weeks. Nothing could be further from the truth. The film takes place in southern Austria, near the Wörthersee, far away from the Dirndl films which take place in the border area between Bavaria and Tirol (north-west Austria).

While watching the film today I was confused. I couldn't understand what it was about. What I mean is, I understood what was happening, but none of it made sense to me as a narrative. It starts with a couple having sex in a fitness centre after hours. Their clothes are stolen, so they have to leave naked. The man breaks into a villa, leaving the woman behind, but we never see her again. Someone comes home, so the man hides under the bed while a couple have sex on the bed above him. It turns out that the man on the bed is the women's lover, so he has to hide under the bed when the husband comes home. The two naked men under the bed shake hands and make friends. That's probably the only part of the film that I found at all funny.

The first man steals the only clothes he can find, a Dirndl outfit. He's arrested by a gay policeman. After being released he visits a doctor to get help with a problem. His penis is too long, so he wants part of it to be cut off. Huh? After this we don't see the man any more. The film is now about the doctor, who has a ridiculous stutter, picking up girls despite being fat and ugly.

I sympathise with stuttering. My father stuttered all his life. My younger son stuttered as a child and needed treatment into his teens. But the doctor's stutter is just stupid. He can only talk when he slaps himself on the back of his neck. It was so annoying that I had to stop watching. I took a short break, and I read a synopsis of the film on Wikipedia. That confused me even more. It was like it was another film. Wikipedia wrote about two men who weren't in the film, doing things that had no connection to what I'd see in the first half hour. After having half a glass of Sherry to strengthen my nerves, I continued with the film.

The doctor disappeared from the film, thankfully, and there were silly scenes about an actress and a prostitute who lived opposite one another and got mixed up because of their names, Eva and Evi. Eventually, the two men mentioned in Wikipedia were introduced, at the 55 minute mark.

What I find annoying is the film's structure. There's a certain logic to it, but I still find it frustrating. It goes like this:

Person A is the main character. Then he meets person B. Person A disappears from the film without explanation, and person B becomes the main character. Person B meets person C. Person B disappears from the film, and person C becomes the main character. And so on.

What's the director trying to say? I have no idea. Is it an experimental film or just a poorly written film? Probably both. The film is junk. I almost gave the film two stars (poor). The only thing in its favour is the occasional nudity, but there's not even enough nudity to make it worth watching. One star (awful) is the rating it deserves. There's no reason for anyone to watch this film.

I almost forgot to mention: the title means "Dirndl hunt on the Wörthersee", which makes no sense in the context of the film. In America it was called "Bring the little pigs", referring to a scene with a fancy dress ball where women dress up as pigs. Weird. Is this a local custom in southern Austria? I hope so, because if it isn't, the film is just being totally stupid.

Drei Oberbayern auf Dirndljagd (3 Stars)

This is a Bavarian erotic comedy made in 1975. It's set in the Bavarian village of Vogelbrunn, which doesn't seem to be connected to the village of Vögelbrunn that we saw in "Alpenglühen im Dirndlrock". It's made by the same director, Siggi Götz, but it's a film of much lesser quality. It seems to me that he felt the need to come away from the standard formula of Bavarian erotic comedies, but in attempting to offer more variety he ruined the film.

The film starts off like a typical Bavarian comedy. This is Vogelbrunn, a cute little village with a mountain on one side and a river on another side. It's not the village's real name. Does anyone recognise it?

The three most important people in the village are the mayor, the Catholic priest and Tony, the owner of the village brewery. That sounds like a typical Bavarian village in every way. Tony and the mayor want an excuse to take a holiday in Bangkok, away from their wives. They say that the brewery isn't selling enough beer, so they're going to look for new customers in Bangkok. This means that their holiday is financed by the village. The priest doesn't trust them, so he books a flight on the same plane. His holiday is financed by the church.

This spoils the holiday for Tony and the mayor. They wanted to spend time visiting prostitutes, but now they have to waste their time talking to restaurant owners to give the priest the impression that it's a genuine business trip.

The whole humour of the following film is that Tony and the mayor can't find female company, but the priest is always being chased by girls. I use the word "humour" cautiously, because I don't find it at all funny. A further complication is that a notorious pickpocket called Fred lives in Bangkok, and he looks identical to the priest. They're both played by Franz Muxeneder, and it's still not funny. The film is a failure, but I've given it a generous three-star rating because of the gratuitous nudity.

The film's title means "Three Upper Bavarians hunting for Dirndls", i.e. hunting for girls wearing Dirndls. That's nonsense. None of the girls that they're chasing are wearing Dirndls. The film was released in America as "Bathtime in Bangkok", which makes a lot more sense.

At least the lobby cards look good. But that's the whole point of lobby cards. They have to look good enough to tempt people to watch the film. Anyone who let himself be tempted must have been disappointed.

TV Series: Batman Season 3

The third season of Batman, which began in September 1967, is a big change in style and content from the first two seasons. Previously the series had been made up of two-part stories with episodes that were broadcast twice a week, on Wednesday and Thursday evening in America (on Saturday and Sunday evening in Britain). The Wednesday episode ended with a cliffhanger in which Batman and Robin were left in a seemingly unescapable predicament. The Thursday episode showed how Batman and Robin escaped and went on to defeat the villain.

The episodes of the third season are in a more flexible format. Most episodes are self-contained, although there are occasional two-part or three-part stories. The episodes were only broadcast once a week, on Thursday in America (and on Sunday in Britain). There's no cliffhanger, although there's frequently a hook to the following episode through next week's villain being shown at the end of the episode.

The biggest change to the series is the introduction of Batgirl, played by Yvonne Craig. The series' executive producer, William Dozier, wanted to introduce a female crime fighter, but he needed the approval of DC Comics. Julius Schwartz of DC agreed to the creation of a female equivalent of Batman. She was first shown in Detective Comics in early 1967 in preparation for her appearance on television. Her secret identity is Barbara Gordon, the daughter of the police chief James Gordon.

Batgirl's fighting style is unlike that of Batman. She never punches anyone. In most cases she kicks villains in the face. On occasions she hits them with hand-held objects, such as a piece of wood. She doesn't have the multitude of gadgets that Batman uses. That makes sense. She isn't a multi-millionaire like Bruce Wayne. Her daytime job is a librarian, so she doesn't have a big budget to fight crime. What's most interesting is her facial expression when she's fighting. For Batman and Robin, fighting criminals is serious business. Batgirl always has a big smile on her face when she's fighting. For her it's all about having fun.

This is the first glimpse we get of Barbara Gordon in the first episode of season three. She was mentioned twice in the final episodes of season three, but we didn't see her face.

When Batgirl enters a room to challenge villains she always puts her hands (or rather her fists) on her hips. I call this the Batgirl pose.

Note the different hair colour. Barbara Gordon's natural hair colour is black, but she wears a red wig to disguise herself. It must be really convincing, because her father never recognises her, neither her face nor her voice. Sigh... that's why we need suspension of disbelief.

One of the most amusing things in the third season is that the only person who knows Batgirl's secret identity is Bruce Wayne's butler Alfred. He promises not to reveal it to anyone. He doesn't even tell Batman who she is.

He receives a kiss as a reward. Lucky guy!

The first villain in season three is the Penguin. I've never taken the trouble to count the episodes, but he must be the most prolific villain in the series.

The Penguin kidnaps Alfred. His henchmen wear shirts to identify them, so that Batgirl knows who she has to kick.

The second villain (introduced at the end of the first episode) is the Riddler, played by the phenomenal Frank Gorshin. He was the most spectacular character in the Batman television series. It's a shame that he barely appeared apart from in the first season.

And the third villain is Siren, played by Joan Collins. She's a new character, who didn't appear in the first two seasons. She's also an original character, not based on anyone in DC Comics. She has the power to hypnotise any man by singing a high note. Batgirl is the only one who can fight her.

I'll have to count the appearances of villains before I write about the Batman TV series again. But don't hold your breath while you're waiting.

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TV Series: Dexter Season 6

The sixth season of "Dexter" is the most controversial season of the whole series. It deals with Christianity, the world's largest religion. It's a religion that's inspired millions to love and millions to kill. It deals with people on both sides of the dividing line. Dexter, as a non-believer is caught in the middle. He makes friends with a religious man who he thinks might help him find salvation. At the same time he's hunting the religious killers who're trying to bring about the end of the world.

Dexter tries to find a place for his son Harrison in a Catholic kindergarten. The nun naively asks Dexter about his faith. She's confused when he says he doesn't believe in anything. I understand her. As a nun she lives in an isolated environment with others who share her faith. At the kindergarten the parents also believe, or at least they pretend to believe in order to make a good impression. Dexter isn't a hypocrite. He's open about his lack of faith. The nun doesn't condemn him. She's just amazed that a person might not believe in anything. She doesn't understand Dexter.

Dexter's initial reaction is to reject the kindergarten as unsuitable for his son. The next day he changes his mind. Just because he doesn't believe in God, it doesn't mean he wants his son to be a nonbeliever. Dexter doesn't want his son to grow up like himself.

The most fascinating person for me in Season 6  is Samuel Wright, known as Brother Sam. He used to be a thief. During a robbery he shot someone, and he was charged with murder, but the case was dismissed on a technicality. He interpreted this as God giving him a second chance, so he turned his life around. He became a Christian, and he began to preach to other criminals. He opened a car repair shop which only hired former criminals who had become Christians.

Dexter is dubious because he doesn't believe a man can change so much. In fact, all of his colleagues at the police station think that Brother Sam is only pretending to be a Christian. Dexter approaches him by delivering his car for repair. At first he intends to kill Brother Sam, but he sees that Sam is really a changed man. The two become close friends. When Dexter asks Sam how he lost the evil in his being, Sam replies that it's still in him and he has to fight it every day. Dexter tries to find a way to apply Brother Sam's new way of life to himself.

Travis Marshall and Professor James Gellar kneel in prayer. They see themselves as the chosen ones to bring about the end of the world. They consider themselves to be the two witnesses named in the Book of Revelation. In preparation, they commit a series of murders to create tableaus, pictures that are based on the prophecies in the last book of the Bible. Together they're called the Doomsday Killers.

Mike Anderson is a detective who's been transferred from Chicago. He's evidently a religious man, because he immediately recognises the religious symbolism of the tableaus. He's called to explain the connection between the murders and the Bible.

Dexter sits reading the Bible, hoping to find clues about the next actions of the Doomsday Killers. This doesn't mean he's starting to find faith. On the other hand, when his son is in hospital with appendicitis, he prays to God. It's an awkward prayer, and he doesn't know if anyone is listening, but he's talking to God, inspired by his friend Brother Sam.

In this season Dexter's sister Debra is promoted from detective to lieutenant. She looks very smart in her uniform.

But I prefer Debra in her casual clothing.

This is one of the Doomsday Killers, Travis Marshall, played by Colin Hanks. He looks so similar to his father that you'd know who he is even if you didn't know his name.

Travis Marshall, killing in the name of God.

In the season we see that Travis draws large paintings in preparation for the murders.

Dexter is shocked to see himself portrayed as the Beast.

This is the whole painting. 

The paintings were actually made by the artist Dave Lebow and digitally enlarged to become wall murals. He's an incredible artist. I'm impressed. Referring to the speed with which Travis seemingly paints, he says "I'm not that brilliant". Dave shouldn't be so modest. Brilliance isn't just about speed. I consider him to be brilliant.

Here are a few examples of the paintings used in the series. Click to enlarge them. The paintings are worth looking at.

The Whore of Babylon

The Seven Angels

Suffering

The Plague of Locusts

The Plague of Locusts (Close Up)

The Four Horsemen

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The Box (3 Stars)

Amazon Friday #17

I admit that I chose this film today because I watched "Donnie Darko" earlier this week. "Donnie Darko" was the first film made by Richard Kelly. "The Box" was his third and final film. I bought it when it was first released on DVD, which was 2010. I watched it once before I started writing my blog in September 2010, so I never recorded my thoughts in writing. All I remember is that I didn't like it, and it was one of the DVDs that I gave away before moving to Germany to 2016. It's offered with Amazon Prime now, so I could give it another chance.

The story's premise is fascinating. A mysterious stranger gives a married couple a box with a button. They're told that if they press the button they will be given a million dollars, but at the same time a person they don't know will die. The film is set in 1976, so it would be a value of $4.8 million today.

How would you react if you were given a deal like that? How would I react? Is the life of a complete stranger worth a million dollars? Would I have a clear conscience, because it's nobody that I know? According to the statistics, 7000 people die in America every day, so one more person wouldn't make a difference. The stranger doesn't even say that the death will be in America, so it could be someone the other side of the world. Who cares? There are no consequences.

I honestly don't know how I would decide. It depends on so many factors in my life. At certain times in my life I might have decided one way, at other times the other.

The lesson of the film is that there are always consequences. Pressing the button is committing murder. Just because I'm not holding a gun in my hand, it doesn't mean I'm not a killer. The button is my murder weapon. In the film punishment comes swiftly. The person who dies is someone who previously pushed the button. The stranger doesn't tell anyone that.

I would have preferred the film if it had stuck with the moral questions. It adds too many ideas, and in the end it's not satisfying. I don't regret giving away my DVD. I've forgotten who I gave it to. Maybe the person who owns it now enjoys the film more than me.

Success Rate:  - 0.9

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Alpenglühen im Dirndlrock (4 Stars)

This is a Bavarian erotic comedy made in 1974. I had a surprise when I looked up the word Alpenglühen in my dictionary: the English translation is alpenglow, a word I'd never heard before. So what does it mean? It's an optical phenomenon that only occurs at sunset in areas with high mountains. When the sun goes down behind a mountain, but not below the horizon that would be seen if the mountain weren't there, the sky becomes red opposite to the sun. So the film's title means "Alpenglow in a Dirndl skirt". That's a strange title, because we hardly see any Dirndls in the film.

The film is about a small town in Bavaria called Vögelbrunn, which is deeply in debt. The village is fictional, but it's supposed to be located close to Kitzbühel. The mayor hopes that the problems will be solved if the town is made a market town, in German a Marktgemeinde. This is something that only exists in Austria and Bavaria, not in the rest of Germany. It doesn't mean that a market will necessarily be run in the town, because that could be done immediately. It means that the town has a minimum size and is recognised as providing services to neighbouring towns. For instance, a town could qualify as a market town if it's the only town in the area that has swimming baths or a large shopping centre. Vögelbrunn has built swimming baths and a sauna, the main reason for the town's debt, but it's still too small. The population needs to increase by seven before the next census in ten months time.

If I were the Mayor of Vögelbrunn I'd solve the problem by encouraging, even bribing families to move into the town. It doesn't have to be permanent, they just have to be in the town for the census. The mayor does it differently. He encourages the population to have babies. Every woman who has a baby within ten months will be paid a reward of 2000 Marks, even if she isn't married.

Not everyone is happy with this decision. Hedda, played by Elisabeth Volkmann, organises a morality commission. This organisation has two tasks. First, they arrange meetings of the town's young women to sing hymns. Second, they spy on the young people and interrupt them if they think they're about to have sex.

My apologies for the poor quality of the screenshot. This is a film that hasn't been well preserved.

I've mentioned Elisabeth Volkmann a few times in my past reviews. She's most famous for being the German voice of Marge Simpson from 1989 to 2006.

Naturally, the mayor doesn't want his two teenage daughters to get pregnant. Does that make him a hypocrite? Incidentally, that's the wonderful actress Ulrike Butz on the left.

The town's chemist works on a potency formula to make the people in the town want more sex. Whatever it is, I don't want it. Most of his potions explode as they're being prepared.

The Italian Roberto Ravioli, played by Rinaldo Talamonti, arrives in the town looking for work. He's mistaken for a state inspector who's been sent to judge Vögelbrunn's suitability as a market town. He's given a free room in the inn and as much food as he can eat. But that's not all he gets. The women in the town can't resist his Italian charm.

When he goes to the sauna he's chased by five naked women. That's too much even for Roberto. One at a time, please.

Roberto disguises himself as a woman and goes to sing hymns with the good girls of the town. I'm sure the actress on the right wasn't supposed to be laughing. She couldn't control herself when Rinaldo hit the high notes.

The film is hilarious. It's a mixture of nudity and slapstick comedy, with the emphasis on the nudity. I'll give away two spoilers:

1. Ten months later there are seven new babies in the town.

2. All the babies look Italian.