Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Super Ninja Doll (4 Stars)

This is the 16th film in the Medina Collection, made in 2007. It was originally called "Super Ninja Bikini Babes". That was a silly name, so I'm glad Fred Olen Ray decided to change it. After all, there is only one Super Ninja in the film, and nobody wears bikinis.

Christine Nguyen is a student who visits Dunwich Academy, an exclusive girls school. She might do better in class if she didn't spend all her time reading comics.

I love the school uniform at Dunwich Academy. There doesn't seem to be any problem with girls wearing short skirts, unlike in England in recent years. This is how all schoolgirls should dress, even if they aren't as beautiful as Christine.

They tell you that you shouldn't believe what you read in comics. That's not true. Everything that's printed in the "Super Ninja Doll" comic is really happening in another dimension, separated from us by the barrier of paper. On rare occasions, only once every million years, there's a solar storm which shatters the barrier between the dimensions. The evil villains Tantella and Gorgath (Nicole Sheridan and Evan Stone) break into our world and intend to enslave mankind. Their first step is to drain the minds of Earth's most brilliant scientists.

Gorgath attacks and overcomes the scientists without any trouble. The last one on his list is the greatest mind on our planet, Dr. Marsha Appleby, an expert in tuna fish. If Gorgath takes her as well the Earth is lost. Is there no hope for mankind? Shall we become the slaves of comic book characters?

There's only one person who can save us. Super Ninja Doll! The trouble is that she can't cross over into our world. The reason isn't stated. Maybe all her clothes are in the wash. So Super Ninja Doll grants her powers to Christine, and Christine becomes the new Super Ninja Doll. Yes, that's Christine in the photo above. Her face may be hidden, but you can still recognise the shape.

Before the final battle begins between good and evil we see a few familiar faces. Christine tries to enlist the help of Ted Newsom, the head of the Bureau of Scientific Strangeness. That's a waste of time. He's no good for anything, except for cracking jokes.

Christine even turns to Alexandre Boisvert for assistance. His hair is a decent colour now, but he still hasn't saved enough money for a comb.

True to form, Alexandre ends up hiding behind women. He must be the biggest wimp in the Medinaverse. He's not even smart enough to realise he's trying to hide behind the wrong woman. That's Tantella! She's the bad guy! She'll snap his neck in a second, if he doesn't stop groping her.

But good triumphs in the end. Using the power of Super Ninja Doll, Christine shrinks the evil invaders to five inches tall. They try to threaten her, but she just laughs at them. Nobody takes five inches seriously.


  1. Replies
    1. Don't you like life size porcelain dolls? I think she's kinda cute.

    2. That's not what I meant. It's creepy what you wrote about wanting schoolgirls to wear short skirts.

    3. Oops, yes. It does sound bad the way I wrote it. You know what I mean. I mean older schoolgirls. Christine Nguyen was born in February 1980, so she was 27 at the time the film was made, but I think she's supposed to be 18-ish in the film. The name of her character in the film is Eriko, a Japanese name, even though Christine is Vietnamese. The school uniforms are a homage to the Japanese videos in which models wear school uniforms and pretend they're younger than they really are.


Tick the box "Notify me" to receive notification of replies.