Monday, 21 December 2015

Bikini Royale (4 Stars)

This is the 19th film in the Medina Collection, made in 2008. The title may sound like a reference to the famous Japanese film, "Battle Royale", bit it's actually a sequel to the 2006 film, "The Girl from BIKINI". Once more it stars Beverly Lynne as the secret agent Tanya X. Whereas the first film was primarily a spoof of "The Man from UNCLE", "Bikini Royale" parodies the early James Bond films. It even uses background music that heavily plagiarises the James Bond theme.

The fate of the world is in danger. An evil mastermind, Dr. Nyet, is attempting to buy nuclear weapons to hold the world to ransom. Dr. Nyet is a woman, of course, played by the 1990's B-Movie star Monique Parent. As I've pointed out in previous reviews, the evil masterminds in the Medina films are always women. Don't ask me why. That's a question for Fred Olen Ray's psycho-analyst.

Once more Tanya is aided in her mission by the CIA undercover agent Alexandre Boisvert. He's looking remarkably smart for a change.

Tanya's equipment is supplied by the BIKINI weapons expert, Ted Newsom. He's better known as a screenwriter, but he's an incredible actor who lightens up any film he appears in.

Evan Stone is an industrial tycoon. Initially he's suspected as one of the villains trying to sell nuclear weapons to Dr. Nyet.

But he's innocent. The real villain is his girlfriend, Nicole Sheridan. She seduced him and moved into his home to use him as a cover for her evil plans. I'm jealous. Why don't any sexy spies ever use me?

Christine Nguyen plays a small but significant part in the film. The nuclear weapons are going to be sold at Evan's house during a poker game that he's hosting. Someone is going to deliberately lose one million dollars to Nicole, the payment for the weapons. There will be several guests at the poker game, and nobody knows who the buyer is. The only way to identify him is that he will lose one million dollars. Tanya plans to disrupt the deal by taking part and also losing a million dollars. That's where Christine comes in. Christine is a poker expert, and she gives Tanya instructions on how to lose money at poker. I never realised it was that difficult. In the lessons Christine doesn't play with money, they play strip poker instead.

Beware, men! These women have bigger guns!

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