Tuesday, 5 January 2016
Sexual Witchcraft (4 Stars)
This is the 27th film in the Medina Collection, made in 2010. It was originally called "Little Witches", but it was renamed for the DVD release. The new name is more appropriate. It's actually a spoof of the old television series "Bewitched", but the film title "Bewitched Housewives" has already been taken.
David and Sheri are a newly married couple who have moved to Los Angeles after their honeymoon. What David doesn't know is that his wife is a witch. That's a secret Sheri has kept till later in case it put him off the wedding. It wouldn't have stopped me. After all, Sheri is played by Christine Nguyen. I'd marry someone like that even if she turned into a werewolf every full moon.
Some people are suspicious, though. The nosy neighbour Abigail Turnbull, played by Michelle Bauer, the #1 scream queen of all time, peers through the window long enough to see Sheri casting spells.
I've never had a peeping Tom spying on me -- as far as I know -- but if Michelle Bauer wanted to spy on me I could live with it. I might even put on a little show to make her spying worth while. I could pose for her camera.
The police aren't as lenient as I am. Michelle -- I mean Abigail -- is almost arrested by Police Officer Jessie Lunderby. That's disgraceful. What did Michelle do wrong anyway? Maybe Jessie should peek through the window at the show I'm putting on. It might be something she would arrest me for. I hope so, at least. In all my life I've never been handcuffed by a policewoman. It's on my list of things to do before I die.
David has to create a marketing campaign for a new lipstick, but he doesn't have any ideas. There's only one solution. Use witchcraft to bring Cleopatra to his house to give her advice. After all, she's the most beautiful woman who has ever lived, so she should be able to tell him something useful. Supposedly the most beautiful woman, at least. I prefer Christine Nguyen.
However beautiful his wife is, David is still tempted by Michelle Bauer when she's in his arms. I don't blame him. I'd be tempted as well. Michelle or Christine? Christine or Michelle? Tough choice. Can I have them both?
Christine Nguyen might have an air of innocent beauty about her, but Michelle Bauer has the madness that I find so appealing in a woman. Who would you choose, readers?
Just in case you prefer men, here's a picture of a handsome hunk of man, Ted Newson, who plays David's boss. Ted isn't quite as handsome as me, but he's a better actor.