Thursday, 3 August 2017

2-Headed Shark Attack (4 Stars)

"Two heads? That means twice as many teeth!"

Professor Franklin Babish is taking a college class on a semester at sea. As far as the film is concerned, it's just an excuse to have a cast made up of bikini-clad girls and handsome looking boys. At least, I assume the boys are handsome. I'm no connoisseur of male good looks, except that I know that I'm handsome. If I counted correctly, the class is made up of 10 girls and 7 boys, so the female eye candy is predominant. Accompanying the class is Anne Babish (Franklin's wife), a ship's captain and two crew members.

The ship is damaged and unable to navigate when a large fish is caught in the propellors. The professor and his class take a boat to a nearby small island, little more than an atoll, while the ship is being repaired. They soon find out that they're in danger from a large two-headed shark that's swimming around the island. It attacks the boats when they try to return to the ship, and then it attacks the ship itself, causing it to sink.

"No problem", I can hear you saying. "The students can stay on the island and wait to be rescued".

If only it were that easy. The island is being hit by earthquakes, putting it in danger of sinking into the sea. Then there's an approaching tsunami which will push them into the sea, where the shark is waiting with two open mouths. Can't they just have one disaster at a time?

However trashy it might seem, I absolutely love this film. Christopher Ray's films are always fast paced action thrillers. This time he slows the pace at the beginning, because he wants to include sunbathing scenes of Carmen Electra, who plays Anne Babish. She's twice as old as the other girls, but she still has what it takes.

I had something of a crush on Carmen Electra in the early 1990's when she first became well known as a singer. It was her attitude that attracted me to her, not just her looks. At the same time that she released her first few singles she posed naked for men's magazines, giving interviews in which she said that God had blessed her with a beautiful body, so it would be a sin not to share it. Those are the sort of religious views that I can relate to. Unfortunately it didn't last. A few years later (1997) she joined the cast of "Baywatch", and from that time on she decided to remain covered up.

Even at the age of 40 (when the film was made) she still looked stunning in a bikini. I can understand why Christopher Ray, a few years younger than her, devotes screen time in his film to show off her beauty.

Not that the young girls are totally unattractive. What do you think of Mercedes Young, appearing in her first ever film? It was a good start. She's now starred in 12 films, and she's played roles in 8 television series.

Brooke Hogan is the daughter of the wrestler Hulk Hogan. I can't help feeling the role was created just for her. She punches and knocks down two men in the film. Whatcha gonna do when Brooke-a-mania runs wild on you?

If you expected me to publish some photos of the male students you don't know me very well. Do you think I'm sexist for thinking women look better than men? I don't care. If you want an equal quota of male and female photos, write your own blog!

As is usual in monster films, "2-Headed Shark Attack" is a last-man-standing film. Fans of the genre know from the beginning that at the end of the film only one or two of the cast will survive. I suggest that if the first time you watch it is with friends or family members, pause the film after 15 minutes to place bets on who will survive. I tried to guess and got it wrong.

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