Pleasure (4 Stars)

This film isn't a documentary or even a biopic, but it's something that could be true. Everything that's shown is so stark and realistic that it's difficult not to believe that it's really happening. Much of the realism comes from the large number of characters who play themselves.

The porn industry is big business, though not as well paid as normal movies. Many people (especially women) enter the porn industry because they think it's easy. I mean, all they have to do is have sex. How difficult can that be? Just lie back and enjoy it, and if you don't enjoy it you can always pretend.

That's the attitude of Linnea, a 19-year-old girl from Sweden who moves to Los Angeles to become the next big porn star. She soon finds out that it's not just about sex, or at least not vanilla sex. Girls who only do that don't go far. The highest pay and the most jobs is for rough sex. Linnea, who now calls herself Bella Cherry, is traumatised when she has to play a rape scene. It's all consensual, as far as the actors are concerned, but as soon as the cameras are rolling the action is brutal. There's no stunt woman to stand in, Linnea is being slapped, punched and hurt in ways she never dreamed were possible.

More than anything, I'm shocked that a market exists for films like this. I have nothing against the male actors. They're just doing their job. As soon as the cameras are turned off they're the nicest people possible. My criticism is of the men who buy these films. I've watched porn films, and you can find the reviews in my blog, but I've never watched anything like the films that Linnea makes. They disgust me. Yes, tastes are different. I understand that. But what sort of man gets pleasure from watching a woman be raped?

Axel Braun appears in the film playing himself. I've watched a lot of his films. He doesn't make the extreme porn films that I just spoke about. His films are very stylish and classy. It's been a long time since I watched his films. It's time for me to go back and do a marathon.

There's just one inaccuracy in the film. Linnea stars in a film directed by Axel Braun, but he refuses to have actresses under the age of 21. This is because he says many young girls who appear in porn films regret it as they get older. I respect his opinion. It's very fair.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that Lance Hart appears in the film. I don't usually bother with online porn, but I used to subscribe to his web site. Since appearing in "Pleasure" he's had surgery to become a woman, and he now calls himself Lucy Hart. I don't understand it. It's not that I disagree with a person's right to body modification, but Lance Hart of all people? He's been a male stud for many years, so he's the last person I would have expected to become a woman. Apart from that, he's married. Does his wife support his sex change? I wish I could talk to him, or at least hear a detailed interview where he talks about his choice.

I wouldn't call "Pleasure" an anti-pornography film. The director herself says that she used to be an anti-porn activist, but now her standpoint is neutral. However, the film strips away the glamour from the porn industry. It's not telling women (or men) not to enter the porn industry, but it's warning them what to expect. If a woman is willing to be punched and bruised for money, let her go ahead and do it. It's her choice.

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Wonder Woman XXX (3½ Stars)

I'm not sure what's going on behind the scenes. Axel Braun made films for Vivid Studios for many years.Then he left Vivid to work for Wicked Studios. Now he's back with Vivid again. "Wonder Woman XXX" is a sequel to "Batman vs Superman XXX", a film which I haven't seen and don't intend to see. I boycott all films made by Wicked Studios out of principle. I made this decision two years ago after watching "Snow White XXX". As far as I'm concerned, Wicked is a third rate film studio that puts unreasonable artistic demands on the directors who work for them. I assume that this is why Axel left them. The truth will come out eventually.

I was excited to hear about this film. I've had something of a Wonder Woman fetish ever since I was a teenager. "Wonder Woman" was the only DC comic I read. Everything else was Marvel. The Wonder Woman TV series disappointed me. Lynda Carter was very attractive, but her costume wasn't sexy enough. The cleavage came and went from episode to episode, varying from moderate to none at all, probably due to how tightly she put it on. The lower part was totally wrong. In the comics the shorts were cut almost like a thong, revealing most of her bottom, but in the TV series they're shaped like granny panties.

The costume worn by Kimberly Kane in "Wonder Woman XXX" is doubtlessly the sexiest version ever, but I have to criticise the cameraman. In the scenes where Wonder Woman is fully dressed the camera usually shows a close-up of her face. Only rarely does it zoom out far enough to show her cleavage. There are only two brief full body shots from behind. This is a great lost opportunity.

Of course, there are scenes where Wonder Woman is completely or partially naked. We see plenty of her then, but it's not the same. I want to see Wonder Woman, not Kimberly Kane, so I wish that we could see more of her with her uniform.

The film begins with Wonder Woman battling Angle Man. After defeating him she teams up with Superman to face Ares. Bruce Wayne assists in tracking down Ares, but he's unable to fight as Batman because of injuries that I assume he sustained in "Batman vs Superman XXX".

Overall it's not a bad film, but it's not spectacular either. Evan Stone puts on an awesome performance as Ares. Usually I like Eric Masterson, but his performance as Doctor Fate is spoilt by his helmet; I could hardly understand what he was saying. If you're a big Axel Braun fan like me you'll want to watch this film. If you're only a Wonder Woman fan you probably won't be interested.

Avengers vs X-Men XXX (4 Stars)

As if there weren't enough characters in the recent X-Men films, award-winning director Axel Braun has decided to throw the Avengers into the mix. There are so many super-heroes flashing across the screen that many of them are seen for less than a minute. Blink and you'll miss them.

The film begins in the aftermath of a battle between the Avengers and Onslaught. More than half of the Avengers are dead, although Doctor Strange suspects that their bodies might still be retrieved from alternate realities. That's typical for Marvel stories. For years a common statement among comic fans was "In Marvel nobody stays dead except for Bucky Barnes and Ben Parker". After Bucky was resurrected in 2005 (60 years after his first death) it was changed to "In Marvel nobody stays dead except for Ben Parker". This makes him so unique in the Marvel Universe that we can expect to see Uncle Ben return as a a male embodiment of Death, possibly as Thanos' gay lover. Let's wait and see.

But let's get back to the story. Professor X has also been killed by Onslaught, so Magneto goes to Westchester to take over the Professor's school for gifted children. After some hesitation Storm is persuaded that Magneto's intentions are good, but Nick Fury assumes that the X-Men have turned evil and orders the remaining Avengers to attack them.

In comparison with Axel Braun's previous super-hero films there's very little action. The atmosphere is more like a big cosplay party, in which we see that even if the big studios mess up the costumes Axel can still get it right. And then there's the sex, of course. Marvel's fans have always fantasised about what the heroes do between missions.

Be honest, comic book fans. Isn't this how Wolverine should look? Tommy Gunn was born to play the part.

Tom Byron puts on a stunning performance as Magneto. He's perfectly modelled on the character as he was drawn by Neal Adams in 1969-1970, the first issues in which he was shown without his helmet.

Of course, Tom Byron looks just as perfect with his helmet on. This is the real Magneto. Why doesn't Michael Fassbender wear red and purple? Then he might be as successful as Tom with Storm and Black Cat. Watch the film to see what I mean. They can't keep their hands off him.

Doctor Strange scans the realms of reality with his mystic powers, under the watchful eyes of Nick Fury and Captain America who have no idea what he's doing. I wonder if Benedict Cumberbatch's costume will look this good.

Here's Banshee, played by the Irish actor Marcus London. He was one of my favourite characters ever since his first appearance in Uncanny X-Men #28. Unfortunately he lost his powers in Uncanny X-Men #119 (1979) and didn't get them back until ten years later in the non-canonical X-Men years.

Here we see Power Man aka Luke Cage complete with chains and afro. Why doesn't he look like this in the Jessica Jones TV series?

And while we're on the subject of the Jessica Jones series, allow me a small rant. I have the greatest respect for David Tennant as an actor, but he looks nothing like Zebediah Killgrave, aka the Purple Man. Didn't the show's budget have enough money for face paint to make him look the right colour? If Axel Braun can get it right, why can't anyone else?

The Purple Man was one of the earliest Marvel super-villains, first appearing in Daredevil #4 way back in 1964. After that he disappeared until the 1980's, but he didn't become a popular villain until the 2000's.

Psylocke and Polaris make fun of the Purple Man's name after they defeat him with the help of Power Man. "Worst. Villain. Ever". As super-villain names go this wasn't one of Stan Lee's better inventions. It's hardly surprising that he was referred to as Killgrave in later years.

I have to admit that I feel some sadness when looking at this photo of Colossus. It shows the great actor Billy Glide, who died in 2014 at the age of 43. Initially it was claimed he died as the result of a rattlesnake bite. Then it was said he died of a drug overdose. Then his friends insisted that it really was a rattlesnake. It's still unclear how he really died, but whatever happened his death is a big loss to the pornographic film industry. He was already dead before "Avengers vs X-Men XXX" was filmed, so Axel Braun inserted unused footage from "X-Men XXX", the last film Billy made before his death. Rest in peace.

Avengers XXX 2 (3½ Stars)

This is Axel Braun's sequel to "Avengers XXX", subtitled "Along came a spider". It deals with Spider-Man turning bad after he dons a black symbiote costume.

This is the first time I have to criticise Axel Braun's super hero films. Until now he's always lovingly crafted his films to be true to the comic book sources, in both the costumes and the stories. This time he's made up his own ideas. The symbiotic costume isn't an alien life form in the film, it's a weapon developed by Hydra. Tut tut, Axel. Even "Spider-Man 3" keeps close to the comic books in this matter.

In all other regards I have to praise the film. Xander Corvus is the perfect actor to play Spider-Man, even better than Tobey Maguire. Xander has a nerdy high pitched voice, and he keeps up the banter while he's facing enemies. It's obvious that Axel is a comic book fan from his attention to detail.

She-Hulk XXX (3½ Stars)

This is Axel Braun's second film starring Chyna as She-Hulk. It takes place before the events of "Avengers XXX". We see how Jennifer Walters first gained her powers by receiving a blood transfusion from her cousin Bruce Banner. The film is faithful to the spirit of the original comics, unlike the official Marvel films. The gamma radiation – whatever that may be in the context of the Marvel universe – that infects her blood changes her, but in a different way to her cousin. When Bruce Banner, a brilliant scientist, becomes the Hulk he loses his intelligence and is motivated purely by anger. Jennifer Walters is a shy, retiring woman, but when she becomes the She-Hulk she loses her inhibitions and acts flirtatiously and sexually. In the comics the sexual side is played down, only hinted at, but a film like this uses the opportunity to put her sexual appetites into the forefront.

The Internet may be a blessing for most people, but it's turned into a curse for the porn industry. So much pornographic material is freely available to anyone who types a few sexualised keywords into Google's search bar that the attitude has become prevalent that porn should be free. Why should anyone pay for it, it's there to be shared? While this may be true of the primitive amateur videos that people upload to the Internet, let's not forget that there's a serious porn industry, especially on the west coast of the USA. There are serious directors, producers and actors who struggle to make a living from their work. Directors like Axel Braun. Actresses like Chyna. They deserve to be rewarded for the effort they put into the films they make.

Film piracy is a general problem today. Torrent sites abound, sharing the newest blockbusters. This is especially prevalent for pornographic films. Whereas people might feel guilty about downloading "Batman vs Superman", they don't have any qualms about downloading "She-Hulk XXX", because after all, it's only porn, and porn is free. Axel Braun has long campaigned to fight the piracy and file sharing of adult films. In 2010 he filed a lawsuit against 7000 people who had shared his film "Batman XXX", supposedly the most downloaded pornographic film ever. He had to fight against the double standards of the American legal system. He lost the case, because evidently the judge didn't consider pornography worthy of legal protection.

The fight continues. All I can do is urge my readers to pay for Axel Braun's films. If he doesn't earn enough money he'll stop making them. That would be a big loss.

Avengers XXX (4 Stars)

It was with great sadness that I heard about the death of Joanie Laurer, better known as Chyna, yesterday. The cause of death hasn't been officially announced yet, but I assume it was suicide. She was a tortured soul. Millions of fans adored her, but she wasn't capable of finding happiness in her personal life.

Chyna gained fame by appearing in the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) from February 1997 to November 2001. February 1997 was the month that I began to watch WWE on a regular basis, so I watched her from her first appearance onwards. She first appeared as a bodyguard for Triple H (Paul Levesque). Her duty as bodyguard was to attack Triple H's opponents when the referee was distracted to help him win. Her usual form of attack was the low blow, a vertical strike with the forearm between a man's legs from behind. While she wasn't the first to use such an attack, Chyna was the first to use it on a regular basis.

How effective is the low blow as an attack? In actual fact, it isn't. The men attacked this way fall to the floor clutching their groins with anguished faces, but it's all acting for the camera. The arm is held horizontally, which means there's no contact with the testicles when the punch lands. It can't even be called a punch, because the fist is extended too far forwards to risk any contact. There's so little danger that male wrestlers don't bother wearing protective cups, even when they know that a low blow has been scripted into their fight.

However, Chyna later admitted that in her later years at WWE she frequently caused her opponents real pain by angling her arm upwards and not pushing her fist far enough forwards. If challenged at the time she said that it was an accident, but years later she laughed about it. "If I'm being paid to hit a man between the legs I'm going to do it right". Was that sadism or just having fun? She never said.

When Chyna first joined the WWE she was very masculine. She had thick muscles and a flat chest. A year later, when she was already taking part in wrestling matches against men, she had a boob job and cosmetic surgery to make her look more feminine. This is when she gained her greatest popularity.

Triple H and Chyna were already dating before she joined the WWE. Their relationship lasted about four years. After they broke up, Chyna got engaged to the wrestler X-Pac (Sean Waltman), while Triple H went on to marry Stephanie McMahon, the daughter of the WWE's owner. An amusing incident during Chyna's time living with X-Pac is that she called the police to report domestic violence. She accused him of hitting her, but after the two of them were examined she was charged with assaulting him. It's possible that X-Pac started the fight, but Chyna was the one who finished it.

While still working as a wrestler Chyna posed for Playboy, calling herself Joanie Laurer because the name "Chyna" was copyrighted by WWE. It didn't make much difference, because everyone knew who she was. In 2001 she left the WWE for unclear reasons (Chyna's version of the story differed from the WWE's official statement). She wrestled briefly in Japan and finally retired from wrestling in 2002. Five years. A brief but very distinguished wrestling career.

Joanie Laurer, no longer called Chyna, remained in the public eye by appearing on television shows, including being a regular cast member on the reality show "Surreal Life". By this time it was obvious to everyone that her life was falling apart. She was addicted to alcohol and drugs. She was disintegrating before the eyes of the public.

From 2009 to 2013 Joanie appeared in a number of pornographic films, including "Avengers XXX". You see, I didn't forget that I'm supposed to be writing about a film. The director Axel Braun said that as soon as he saw a photo of her he said she was born to play She-Hulk in his films. After this film she starred in "She-Hulk XXX". She would have appeared in "Avengers XXX 2" (which I intend to review soon), but Axel found her too difficult to work with.

Seeing Chyna as She-Hulk convinces me that Axel was right; Chyna really was born to play She-Hulk. Watching her in the film I have to ask whether she's playing a superhero or just playing herself. She starts an argument with Thor, accusing him of cowardice. This makes Thor angry, so she silences him by demanding sex from him. Thor may be a God, but he's no match for She-Hulk. She walks away leaving him on his back, drained and exhausted with his hammer hanging limp

But now this wonderful woman is gone. She died too young, but she'll never be forgotten, as a wrestler or as She-Hulk.

Joanie Laurer
December 27, 1970 – April 20, 2016

X-Men XXX (3 Stars)

This was the last film that Axel Braun made for Vivid Entertainment. When he left Vivid to make films for Wicked Pictures it meant he was turning his back on superhero films. At Wicked he has been concentrating his efforts on making pornographic versions of fairy tales. I read recently that he has been persuaded to make a superhero film series for Wicked. Good luck to him, but I intend to boycott his films made at Wicked, due to their policy of requiring condoms for all penetrative sex acts. Let's hope he leaves them soon.

The film copies the story of the official X-Men film made in 2000. It deals with Wolverine trying to free Rogue from the clutches of Magneto and his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. All the Wolverine-centric films of the recent years are getting on my nerves. There are other X-Men apart from him. "Days of Future Past" is a good example of over-emphasis on Wolverine. It's not a bad film, but in the original story from the comics it was Kitty Pryde who travelled into the past to change the future. Why was it necessary for the film to send Wolverine instead? Nevertheless, Tommy Gunn adequately portrays Wolverine. At least he wears yellow spandex in Axel Braun's films.

This is also the last film featuring Billy Glide before his death from a rattlesnake bite in May 2014. In this film he plays Colossus, putting on a convincing Russian accent. He enjoyed a certain notoriety due to having the largest penis in the porn industry. In this film the actress playing Kitty Pryde can't even get her hand around his penis. It must be as thick as my wrist. If you don't believe me, watch the film for yourself. Or watch "This ain't Dirty Jobs", in which he has a bigger part. No pun intended.

Billy Glide
July 25, 1970 – May 25, 2014

Spider-Man XXX 2 (3½ Stars)

Nick Fury has sent Spider-Man and Jessica Jones to Las Vegas to prevent an attack by AIM on SHIELD's Cosmic Cube research facility. By coincidence, Betty Brant is also in the city to investigate the magician Mysterio's alleged link to the Kingpin.

This was one of the last films that Axel Braun made for Vivid Entertainment. He must have known he was leaving soon, because he crammed as many characters into the film as he could, knowing he wouldn't have another chance. Old characters and new. I was particularly excited to see Daredevil in his original black and yellow costume, even though his appearance was a random element that had nothing to do with the plot. Jessica Jones was unknown to me, because she didn't appear in Marvel comics until 2001. I vaguely remember Arachne as a minor character from the 1980's, but she became more significant in stories 20 years later.

My main criticism of the film is that too much was going on. If Axel had kept the plot simpler it would have been more enjoyable. The best scenes were the ones with Mysterio. I wonder if the official Marvel films will be this faithful to his appearance in the comics.

Betty Brant finds Mysterio irresistible. There must be something special about kissing a man with a glass bowl on his head.

Is it my imagination, or does Mysterio's bowl shine brighter as he gets excited? But you have to admit that if Betty Brant had been this sexy in the comics Peter Parker would never have been interested in Mary-Jane Watson.

Snow White XXX (3 Stars)

This is the first in Axel Braun's series of pornographic fairy tales made for Wicked Pictures. It tells the story of Snow White as we know it, except that the dwarves are off camera and only hinted at. Axel managed to get Evan Stone to walk on his knees for "This ain't Game of Thrones XXX", but I doubt he could find another six actors to do it. That would have been almost as humiliating as to be pushed around by Jessica Drake.

This is the first film I've seen starring Riley Steele, who plays the title role. (After checking IMDB I saw that she appeared in "Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge", but it must have been a small role because I don't remember her. I'll have to watch it again). She was recently signed up by Axel to appear exclusively in his films. I can see what he likes about her. She has an innocently cute face and a near perfect body without any tattoos to spoil it. So tell me, magic mirror, who's the fairest of them all? Riley Steele or Kristen Stewart? Is it even necessary to ask?

I was very distressed to see that the actors in the film used condoms. That's something I've never seen in any of Axel's films until now. At first I thought that it was to comply with Measure B, but after doing a little research I discovered that Wicked Pictures has required condoms for all penetration scenes for years, "in order to protect the safety of its performers". This is absolutely ridiculous. For years the top porn studios have imposed frequent sex tests on all their performers, ranging between monthly and fortnightly. It's only the smaller, sleazier film studios that require condoms and do without the tests.

Many performers complain about discomfort if they have to have sex with condoms for many hours a day. "Vagina burn", they call it. I can't comment on that, I can only speak for myself as a viewer. The lack of condoms gives a fantasy aspect to the film, whereas using a condom brings it down to Earth. It's normal sex. Apart from that, it's a matter of historical accuracy. At the time when the story of Snow White took place condoms hadn't been invented. This small detail spoilt the story.

It could also be questioned how effective the use of a condom really protected the performers in this film. For instance, in the first scene Alec Knight (the king) performed a threesome with two women. After withdrawing from one woman he entered the other. If one of the women had been infected with an STD it would have been transferred to the other woman. In another scene Barrett Blade (the huntsman) rips off his condom after penetration so that he can ejaculate into the queen's mouth. What sort of protection is that?

The film is good, very stylishly made with opulent music. I'd give the film itself four stars, but I'll subtract one star for the condoms. Despite being a big fan of Axel Braun, from now on I'll boycott all the films he makes for Wicked Pictures.

This ain't the Expendables XXX (4 Stars)

This ain't a parody. Don't just take my word for it, buy it and see for yourself. The film is a remake of the original Expendables film, but in this version the mercenaries are women. Tera Patrick and Kimberley Kane are a lot better looking than Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone.

Tera Patrick had retired from the adult film industry for six years, but Axel Braun thought the role of Trench was perfect for her and persuaded her to come back. She made the film only five months after giving birth, but her figure is still perfect. Let's hope Axel can give her more roles. She said that she would like to play a super-hero. I think she would be perfect as Mantis in his next Avengers film.

Axel helps Tera with her lines.

Now she refuses to give him back his chair.

Kylie Ireland (Guns Jensen) sharpens her knife.

Kimberley Kane (Bailey Ross) wonders who to kill next.

Ryan Driller learns how to play Strip Backgammon.

This ain't Game of Thrones XXX (4 Stars)

As I frequently point out when reviewing Axel Braun's films, they aren't really parodies, whatever they write on the box. This is a rare exception. It's a hilarious comedy from beginning to end, featuring characters from the "Game of Thrones" series who know that they're in a TV show. While it's difficult to make a version of an epic series with only a small cast, the actors rise to the challenge. There are outstanding performances by all, especially Evan Stone as Tyrion Lannister and Ryan Driller as Jon Snow.

Brandi Love is more Cersei than Cersei.

The trouble with being a midget is that the beds are so high.