28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (3 Stars)

Netflix Thursday #48

"The Bone Temple" is an improvement on "28 Years Later", but that's not saying muxh. There are fewer zombies, which suits me perfectly, but the film still has an unpleasant post-apocalyptic atmosphere. I dislike post-apocalyptic films almost as much as I dislike zombies.

12-year-old Spike is the main hero in the film series, but he spends most of the film as a member of the Jimmies, disguised by a ridiculous blond wig.

The film's saving grace is Ralph Fiennes. Whenever he appears on screen, things immediately become more interesting. He's eccentric, funny and wonderfully watchable, bringing some much-needed personality to the grim proceedings.

And then there's the highlight: Fiennes dancing to Iron Maiden. I was slumping back in my chair for most of the film, but when "The Number of the Beast" started playing I sat up with a jolt. For a few glorious minutes "The Bone Temple" became exactly the sort of film I wanted it to be.

Then they killed Ralph Fiennes.

He was the best thing in the trilogy, but he won't return for the last film. Is there any reason left for me to watch it?

Success Rate:  - 1.1

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28 Years Later (2 Stars)

Amazon Friday #44

Spike has grown up with his parents on the isolated island of Lindisfarne, where his mother is increasingly sick and partially demented. On his 12th birthday, his father takes him to the mainland to kill his first infected – a fancy new name for zombies – as a rite of passage. Spike later returns with his mother after hearing rumours that a doctor lives on the mainland who may be able to help her. 

Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy the film. It's very slow for most of its running time, with long stretches of people talking and relatively little happening, and I found the infected themselves rather uninteresting as opponents. I've never been a great fan of zombies because they're just ugly, empty things to be killed; I prefer villains who have a personality and motivation that gives me something to engage with. There are exceptions, such as "The Girl with All the Gifts", but "28 Years Later" has only dull, uninteresting zombies. It wasn't until the last few minutes, when Jimmy and his group appeared, that I suddenly became interested in where the story might be going. That was too late.

Success Rate:  + 0.3

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Tragedy Girls (5 Stars)

When "Tragedy Girls" was shown at the Fantasy Film Festival in 2017, the festival booklet wrote that it had the potential to become a cult film. But nothing happened. The film was never shown in cinemas, and it was forgotten. Until now, nine years later. Two months ago a mediabook was released by the German boutique label with four different covers.

This is a very strong indicator that Tragedy Girls (2017) has solidified its status as a cult film. While a limited-edition home video release alone isn't a formal scientific metric, the specific nature of Germany's physical media market, and the treatment of this movie by Indeed Film, perfectly aligns with how modern cult status is built and sustained.

Here is why this specific release deduces cult status:

1. The Target Audience of the "Mediabook" Format

In Germany, the mediabook (a premium, hardcover packaging blending a book portion with Blu-ray/DVD discs) is a format designed exclusively for dedicated collectors, cinephiles, and genre enthusiasts. Mainstream commercial hits get standard plastic cases or steelbooks, whereas niche movies with passionate, dedicated fanbases get the luxury mediabook treatment.

2. The Multiple-Cover Strategy

Releasing a movie with three or four different artwork variants (Covers A, B, C, and sometimes a shop-exclusive Cover D) is a marketing strategy tailored to a specific collector psychology. It relies on a loyal "cult" following willing to hunt down specific art, pre-order immediately, or even purchase multiple copies of the exact same movie to complete a set.

3. Extremely Strict Print Runs

The print runs for this specific release are highly limited, with each variant restricted to 444 units. Cult status is traditionally defined by a film that doesn't appeal to the widest possible demographic, but instead commands intense, dedicated devotion from a smaller, marginalized subculture. Selling out tiny, numbered batches of a premium product defines that dynamic perfectly.

4. Re-evaluation by the Horror Community

When Tyler MacIntyre’s Tragedy Girls initially premiered at SXSW in 2017, its pitch-black, neon-soaked social media satire was heavily compared to "Heathers" and the recent Scream films. Over the years, the film's commentary on influencer culture, pairing vibrant teen aesthetics with unapologetic gore, has aged remarkably well. This delayed, premium boutique physical release is the physical manifestation of the horror community embracing it as a modern genre classic.

Misery (5 Stars)

Anyone who watches Stephen King's films must recognise that he has a fascination with writers. "IT", "The Shining" and several other King adaptations put writers at the centre of their stories, but "Misery" contains the most personal horror of all.

I'm not saying that Paul Sheldon is a direct representation of Stephen King, What I mean is that King has created a character that he can relate to and imagine what would be the most horrifying to him as a writer.

Annie Wilkes doesn't just imprison Paul. She forces him to watch his new unpublished novel go up in flames. For a writer, that must be a special kind of horror. It's not simply losing a manuscript. It's watching something you've created being deliberately destroyed while you're powerless to stop it.

This is Stephen King's private horror hidden inside all the more conventional horrors of the story. He writes horror stories for his readers, but in "Misery" he's imagined a horror specifically for himself: not being killed, not being tortured, but being forced to watch his own words disappear in flames.

Brilliant film!

Success Rate:  + 1.1

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Snatch (5 Stars)

• Franky Four Fingers arrives in London with a huge stolen diamond, intending to sell it to Doug the Head.
• Boris the Blade wants the diamond and arranges for Franky to be robbed.
• Turkish and Tommy are involved in the illegal boxing business, working for the vicious gangster Brick Top.
• Turkish's boxer gets into trouble, forcing him to find a replacement.
• He approaches Mickey, an Irish Traveller who agrees to fight for money.
• Mickey, however, has his own ideas about how the fight should go.
• Meanwhile, Boris's plans for the diamond become increasingly complicated.
• Sol, Vinny and Tyrone get involved in an attempt to steal the diamond for themselves.
• All the various schemes gradually begin to overlap, with the boxing match and the diamond at the centre of everything.
• By the time the dust settles, almost nobody has ended up with quite what they expected.

I usually complain when a film has a complicated plot, but "Snatch" is a wonderful exception. Everything is remarkably easy to understand while you're watching it. You know what everybody wants and you generally know what they're trying to do. It's only afterwards, when you try to explain the entire story to somebody else, that you realise just how complicated it actually is.

That is one of the film's greatest achievements. Guy Ritchie gives us a huge collection of characters and several apparently separate stories, but somehow never makes the film difficult to follow. Everyone is so distinctive that you quickly know who's who, and every new complication seems perfectly logical at the time.

It's also very funny, but I wouldn't call "Snatch" a comedy. There's a real sense of danger underneath the humour, particularly whenever Brick Top appears. These are not lovable rogues getting into amusing scrapes. They're criminals, and some of them are extremely unpleasant criminals.

The cast is superb. Jason Statham is the closest thing we have to a normal person in this collection of lunatics, while Alan Ford makes Brick Top genuinely intimidating. But Brad Pitt steals the film as Mickey. His performance is hilarious, unpredictable and completely different from anything else in the film.

And then there's the style. The editing is fast without making the story incomprehensible, the dialogue is packed with memorable lines and the whole thing has an energy that carries you through the increasingly tangled plot.

It's probably the best gangster film I've ever seen. And remarkably, despite its complicated plot, I never once felt lost.

The problem is that if somebody asked me to explain exactly what happens in Snatch, I'd have absolutely no idea where to start.

Success Rate:  + 6.4

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Broken Oath (4½ Stars)

After her father is murdered by a group of men and her mother is imprisoned, Liu Chieh Lien is born in prison and eventually sent to a Buddhist temple, where she's raised and taught martial arts. As a young woman she proves to be an exceptionally skilled fighter, but her violent nature eventually causes her to be expelled.

Learning the truth about her family's past, Chieh Lien sets out to find the men responsible and exact her revenge. Her quest soon draws her into a larger conflict involving rebels and government agents, but her main objective remains the same: to avenge her parents.

Angela Mao must be the most beautiful and talented actress who's ever lived.

Every Day's A Holiday (2 Stars)

Mae West is always worth watching, but unfortunately "Every Day's a Holiday" gives her very little to work with. The story of a wanted criminal getting involved in a mayoral election is extremely dull, and I found the film a struggle to sit through.