A Minecraft Movie (3 Stars)

I tried to like "A Minecraft Movie". I really did. The trailer made it look like the sort of gloriously silly film that I'd enjoy, especially with Jason Momoa and Jack Black in the leading roles. I expected the two of them to be equally wild, bouncing off one another and competing to see who could be the most outrageous. Unfortunately, that isn't what happens. Jack Black is as crazy as expected, but Jason Momoa is surprisingly restrained. He's amusing, but I kept waiting for him to really let himself go.

The other problem is the supporting cast. I admit that Henry is essential to the story, so I put up with him, even though I didn't find him particularly interesting. Dawn and Natalie could both have been omitted from the film, and it would have been better without them. Jennifer Coolidge, on the other hand, is terrific. She makes the most of every scene she's given, but unfortunately she isn't given enough of them. I would happily have traded Dawn and Natalie's screentime for more Jennifer Coolidge.

There was a standing joke in "2 Broke Girls" that whenever Jennifer Coolidge walked into the diner the unseen audience burst into applause, as if she were the real star of the show. I would have been applauding with them.

Visually, the film does what it needs to do, bringing the blocky Minecraft world to life without attempting to make it look realistic. There's plenty of colour and plenty happening on screen, and Jack Black throws himself into the madness with such enthusiasm that it's difficult not to smile whenever he's around. The ingredients for a very funny film are all there. They just don't come together as well as they should.

Maybe the trailer raised my expectations too high. I went into "A Minecraft Movie" expecting a wild comedy, and for a while I kept waiting for it to become the film that I'd been promised. Eventually I realised that it wasn't going to happen. I tried to like the film, but as it continued I couldn't help checking my watch. That's always a bad sign.

Success Rate:  + 4.4

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Madonna - Ray Of Light

I've never been a Madonna fan, but "Ray of Light" was different. It's a magnificent album, and much of its magic comes from William Orbit. He was the perfect match for Madonna, giving her music a depth and atmosphere that I've never heard on any of her other albums.

Today I'm listening to "Ray of Light" again, but this time it feels different. William Orbit passed away on 23rd July 2026, aged only 69, and the news of his death has only just been announced. It's sad to listen to his music knowing that he's gone, but it's also a reminder of what he left behind.

Above all, there's "Frozen". I've loved the song ever since I first heard it. Madonna's voice is beautiful, but it's Orbit's production that turns it into something extraordinary. The music seems to float around her voice, haunting and dreamlike, building into something that still sends shivers through me after all these years. I don't say this lightly: "Frozen" is one of the best pop songs ever recorded.

William Orbit may be gone, but as long as people continue to listen to "Ray of Light", they'll hear his genius. R.I.P. William Orbit.

William Orbit
15 December 1956 – 23 July 2026

X-Men: The Last Stand (4½ Stars)

"X-Men: The Last Stand" is the third film in the original X-Men trilogy. It's a very good film, but it suffers from what I call "telescoping". Comic book stories develop over years, while films have to squeeze the important events into a couple of hours. As a result, things that happened years apart in the comics can take place within days on screen.

That's particularly damaging here because the film combines two of the X-Men's most important stories, the Phoenix Saga and the Dark Phoenix Saga. In the comics Jean Grey returned from apparent death as Phoenix, but it wasn't until years later that Mastermind manipulated her and unleashed Dark Phoenix. In the film Jean returns and almost immediately becomes a destructive force. Phoenix is also presented as a power that has always existed within Jean, rather than a cosmic force. It's an effective story in its own right, but it loses much of the tragedy and gradual development that made the Dark Phoenix Saga so memorable.

At the same time, a second story concerns a "cure" for mutation, created from the powers of a young mutant who can temporarily suppress the abilities of other mutants. Magneto sees the cure as an attack on mutantkind and gathers an army to destroy it. It's a strong plot, but putting it alongside Dark Phoenix means that neither storyline gets as much room as it deserves.

The film also takes the surprising step of killing three of its central characters. Scott Summers dies early in the film, Jean Grey dies at the end and Professor Xavier is apparently killed by Jean. Xavier gets a reprieve after the credits. Earlier in the film he discusses the possibility of transferring the mind of a dying person into the body of someone with no higher brain functions. The final scene reveals that he has done exactly that, transferring his consciousness into another body.

So I have the same basic problem with "X-Men: The Last Stand" that I had when I last watched it. As an adaptation of the Dark Phoenix Saga it's disappointing. As a film, however, it's very good. Maybe the biggest mistake wasn't the way the story was told, but trying to tell so much of it at once.

Stan Lee makes one of his usual cameos at the beginning of the film. He appears as one of Jean Grey's neighbours, watering his garden as the water rises into the air.

There's a second cameo by Chris Claremont, playing another neighbour whose lawnmower starts floating. Lee co-created the X-Men with Jack Kirby, while Claremont wrote the original Dark Phoenix Saga. If anyone had earned the right to look puzzled by what the film was doing with Jean Grey, it was Chris Claremont.

Success Rate:  + 0.2

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Spider-Man: Brand New Day (5 Stars)

"Spider-Man: Brand New Day" is a good film in its own right, with plenty of action and an entertaining story. It works well as another chapter in Spider-Man's increasingly complicated life, even if the ever-expanding Marvel universe sometimes threatens to overwhelm him.

My biggest problem is the introduction of Jean Grey. The X-Men film chronology was already a mess, and this makes matters worse. More importantly, this Jean Grey bears little resemblance to the character I remember from the comics, particularly in the way her mutant powers are portrayed. I enjoyed the film, but as an old-school X-Men fan I found some of its choices difficult to accept.

X-Men 2 (4½ Stars)

"X-Men 2", commonly called "X2", is often regarded as one of the finest superhero films of the early 2000's, and it's easy to see why. Bryan Singer expands the scale of the original film with more action, stronger character development and a compelling story involving Colonel William Stryker's plan to wipe out the world's mutants. The action scenes are exciting, the special effects still hold up well and Hugh Jackman once again steals the show as Wolverine.

My biggest criticism of the X-Men films is one that applies to the entire series rather than this film alone. Instead of adapting the comics as they developed over the decades, the filmmakers created a pick-and-mix version of the team. Heroes from the 1960's, 1970's and 1980's are thrown together because they happened to be popular when the films were made. The original X-Men line-up of Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Beast, Iceman and Angel, created by Stan Lee, was discarded in favour of a roster that never existed in the comics. As someone who loves the classic stories, I find the disrespect for the source material disappointing.

Fortunately, "X-Men 2" succeeds on its own merits. The relationships between the characters are convincing, the pacing is excellent and the film balances spectacle with quieter moments surprisingly well. It may not be the X-Men story I wanted as a long-time comic reader, but taken as a superhero film it's an entertaining and well-crafted sequel.

Success Rate:  + 1.7

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Miyamoto Musashi 2: Duel at Hannya Hill (4 Stars)

After introducing Miyamoto Musashi's origins in the first film, "Miyamoto Musashi 2: Duel at Ichijoji Temple" follows his transformation from an impulsive young fighter into a man determined to master both the sword and himself. Although there are several impressive duels, the film is more interested in Musashi's personal growth than in action for its own sake.

In the first film he's known as Shinmen Takezo, the rough village youth whose violent temperament repeatedly gets him into trouble. At the beginning of this film he's given the name Miyamoto Musashi. The new name represents a fresh start. He's no longer trying to become the strongest swordsman through brute force alone. Instead, he sets out on a lifelong journey of discipline, self-improvement and spiritual development.

The contrast with the first film is striking. Takezo was quick to anger and eager to prove himself in every confrontation. Musashi is more patient and thoughtful. He chooses his battles carefully and spends as much time learning from the people he meets as he does perfecting his swordsmanship. His confidence now comes from growing inner strength rather than youthful arrogance, although the film makes it clear that his education is still far from complete.

The supporting characters continue to play an important role. Otsu remains devoted to Musashi despite his constant wandering, while Akemi's feelings become increasingly complicated. The film also introduces Sasaki Kojiro, another gifted swordsman whose personality provides an interesting contrast to Musashi's. Rather than presenting the two men as immediate enemies, the story gradually establishes them as rivals whose destinies will eventually collide.

Tomu Uchida directs the film at a measured pace, allowing the characters to develop naturally instead of rushing from one sword fight to the next. The beautiful photography captures both Japan's landscapes and its historic settings, while Nakamura Kinnosuke gives a more mature performance than in the first film, convincingly portraying a man who's begun to leave his reckless youth behind without losing his determination.

Although "Miyamoto Musashi 2" contains enough action to satisfy fans of samurai cinema, its greatest strength is the development of its central character. It marks the point where Takezo truly begins to become the legendary Miyamoto Musashi, laying the foundations for the remaining three films in Uchida's outstanding five-part series.

Terminator (5 Stars)

Sometimes I'm proud of German cinema audiences. Today "Terminator" was shown in my cinema as part of the monthly "Best Of Cinema" series. The theatre was almost sold out, with only a few empty seats left at the front.

James Cameron's "Terminator" remains one of the greatest films ever made because it blends two distinct genres. On the surface it's science fiction, with time travel and killer robots from the future. In reality it's also one of the most effective horror films ever made, with Arnold Schwarzenegger's unstoppable Terminator playing the role of a relentless monster hunting an ordinary young woman.

The premise is unforgettable: a cyborg assassin travels back in time to murder Sarah Connor before she can give birth to the future leader of the human resistance. From that point onwards the film barely pauses for breath. Schwarzenegger gives the defining performance of his career, creating a villain who's frightening not because of emotion, but because he has none. Linda Hamilton is equally convincing as Sarah, transforming from an unsuspecting waitress into a determined survivor, while Michael Biehn brings unexpected depth to Kyle Reese.

What makes "Terminator" so enduring is its atmosphere. Made on a modest budget, Cameron relies on suspense rather than spectacle, creating a dark, gritty nightmare that still feels more believable than many modern blockbusters. The action is relentless, the pacing is flawless and the film never loses sight of its horror roots, even as it explores one of cinema's most fascinating time travel paradoxes.

More than forty years later, "Terminator" still feels fresh. It isn't simply a great science fiction film or a great horror film. It's one of the rare classics that succeeds brilliantly as both.

Success Rate:  + 10.2

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Miyamoto Musashi (4 Stars)

Most Western audiences know Miyamoto Musashi as Japan's greatest swordsman, but the real man was much more than that. Born around 1584, Musashi lived during one of the most turbulent periods in Japanese history. The country had just emerged from the Sengoku period, more than a century of civil war, and was beginning to unite under the Tokugawa shogunate after the decisive Battle of Sekigahara in 1600. For countless samurai, peace brought an unexpected problem. There were no longer great wars to fight, so many became wandering swordsmen searching for purpose. Musashi was one of them.

Tomu Uchida's film follows Musashi before he became a legend. Instead of presenting an invincible hero, it shows an impulsive, stubborn young man who gradually learns discipline and self-control. His greatest enemy is not another swordsman, but his own pride. This makes the film far more interesting than a simple series of duels. Every victory teaches him another lesson about what it truly means to be a warrior.

The historical setting is recreated with impressive authenticity. Villages, castles and forests all feel like part of a living seventeenth century Japan rather than elaborate film sets. The action scenes are exciting without becoming exaggerated, while the quieter moments give the characters room to develop.

The film's most surprising sequence comes during the final ten minutes, when Musashi enters the castle and the story suddenly takes on a supernatural atmosphere. Ghostly figures and strange apparitions appear around him, making the solid walls of the castle seem less secure than the wilderness outside.

These ghosts aren't merely included to frighten the audience. They represent the castle's violent past and the psychological burden carried by Musashi himself. He may be physically fearless, but he's entering a world shaped by death, betrayal and political power. The supernatural elements turn the castle into a place of spiritual testing, forcing him to confront forces that can't be defeated with a sword.

The scene also reminds us that this isn't intended as a purely realistic biography. Musashi's development is presented as something almost mythic. Before he can become the legendary warrior remembered by history, he must pass through a world where history, folklore and personal fear overlap.

Holiday On The Buses (4 Stars)

The first two On The Buses films captured everything that made the television series so popular. "Holiday On The Buses" has its moments, but by taking the characters away from the bus depot it loses much of the identity that made the franchise unique.

The film opens brilliantly. Stan crashes his bus after being distracted by a woman who accidentally bares her breasts while running along the road. It's exactly the sort of cheeky humour fans expect, and for a couple of minutes it feels as though we're in for another classic. Unfortunately, the action soon moves to a Pontin's Holiday Camp, where it remains for most of the film.

There are still plenty of laughs. Stan's hopeless attempts to seduce every attractive woman he meets are as funny as ever, and the chemistry between Reg Varney, Bob Grant and Stephen Lewis remains the film's greatest strength. Stan, Jack and Blakey are such entertaining characters that they can raise a laugh almost regardless of the situation.

The problem isn't the familiar jokes. Stan has always been an unsuccessful womaniser, and that's part of the series' charm. The problem is the setting. With so little time spent on the buses, the comedy often feels closer to a Carry On film than On The Buses. The holiday bus appears only occasionally, and the depot, which was the heart of the first two films, is almost forgotten.

Worst of all, there isn't a single clippy. The conductresses were central to the television series and the earlier films, providing many of Stan's funniest encounters. Their complete absence leaves a noticeable gap, making the film feel less like On The Buses and more like a generic British holiday comedy.

Holiday on the Buses is still an enjoyable farewell to the series thanks to its wonderful central trio, but it's also the weakest of the three films. The laughs are still there, yet by abandoning the buses it also abandons much of what made On The Buses so special.

So why were these girls left out of the film? I'd ride their bus all the way to the depot.