I love you, Beth Cooper (3½ Stars)

Yesterday I was sad to hear the news of Hayden Panettiere's death. I immediately decided to watch one of her films to remember her, but I had to delay it because I'd already bought a ticket to watch "The End of Oak Street". I picked "I love you, Beth Cooper" not because it's her best film, but because it's the film in which she has the most screen time.

Dennis Cooverman is the school valedictorian, and during his graduation speech he suddenly declares his love for Beth Cooper, the most popular girl in school. He's sat behind her in class for years, but he barely knows her. To his amazement, Beth turns up at his house that evening with two friends, and what follows is a chaotic night in which Dennis discovers that Beth is very different from the perfect girl he's created in his imagination.

I wouldn't call "I Love You, Beth Cooper" a great film. It's a silly teen comedy, but it's good fun while it lasts. There's not much in the film that's memorable, apart from Hayden Panettiere. She gives Beth an energy and personality that lifts the film whenever she's on screen.

Beth is confident, reckless and seemingly carefree, but there are quieter moments when we see that there's more to her than the beautiful girl Dennis has been dreaming about. Hayden makes those different sides of Beth convincing. The film gives her plenty of opportunity to be funny and exuberant, but also allows her to show Beth's vulnerability.

Don't ask me to defend "I Love You, Beth Cooper". I watched it because I wanted to remember Hayden Panettiere. For that purpose, I couldn't have chosen better.

Hayden Panettiere
August 21, 1989 – August 16, 2026

Success Rate:  - 1.1

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The End of Oak Street (2 Stars)

First we had Jurassic Park.

Then we had Jurassic World.

Now we have Jurassic Suburbs.

This is one of the silliest films I've seen for a long time. A chunk of land surrounding the peaceful Oak Street is transported into the distant past, where it's surrounded by hungry dinosaurs. Unlike the carefully separated territories in the Jurassic Park films, the dinosaurs are all mixed together. There are no herbivores, only meat-eating dinosaurs.

No explanation is given how the time travel happens. Maybe they're saving it for the sequel. Please, we don't want a sequel. In its favour, there's a lot of action and suspense as people run from dinosaurs. It's just too ridiculous to take seriously. There was a woman sitting next to me who obviously felt the same way that I did. Every time a new dinosaur threat appeared we turned and looked at one another and laughed. It should have been made as a real comedy, instead of making us laugh at its silliness.

Terminator 2 (5 Stars)

"Terminator 2: Judgment Day" is one of the best films ever made because it does everything right. James Cameron takes the simple premise of the original and expands it into a spectacular action film without losing its humanity. Arnold Schwarzenegger's transformation from unstoppable killer to protector works perfectly, while the T-1000 is an extraordinary replacement as the new threat. The action and special effects are magnificent, but the film's real strength is the growing relationship between John Connor and the Terminator. Beneath all the explosions, "Terminator 2" is a surprisingly emotional film about humanity, fate and the possibility of change.

Which film is better? I can't choose. "Terminator" is a lean, frightening science-fiction slasher, while "Terminator 2" is a much larger action film with greater emotional depth. The sequel doesn't improve on the original so much as reinvent it. They're two very different films, but they're both masterpieces.

Success Rate:  + 3.5

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Miyamoto Musashi 5: The Duel at Ganryu Island (4 Stars)

"The Duel at Ganryu Island" brings the five-film series to a sombre and satisfying conclusion. Musashi has travelled a long way from the wild young man of the first film. He's become the swordsman he always wanted to be, but his victories have come at a cost. After the bloodshed of the previous film, particularly the killing of 13-year-old Matashichiro Yoshioka, Musashi is beginning to understand that defeating opponents isn't enough to give his life meaning.

The final confrontation with Sasaki Kojiro has been inevitable for several films. Kojiro has watched Musashi's progress while establishing himself as the one swordsman capable of challenging him as an equal. For that reason, the duel is surprisingly short; one sword blow and Kojiro falls dead. After such a long build-up I would have preferred a longer and more spectacular battle. Nevertheless, the brevity has a purpose. This isn't simply another opponent for Musashi to defeat. Kojiro is the culmination of Musashi's obsession with proving himself, and killing him brings little sense of triumph.

Musashi's real victory comes afterwards. He finally recognises that being undefeated isn't the same as being complete. His redemption doesn't erase the men he has killed or excuse everything he's done, but it shows that he's finally gained something more important than skill with a sword: wisdom. The five films have shown Musashi learning how to become a great swordsman. At the end of "Miyamoto Musashi 5", he finally learns how to become a man.

Miyamoto Musashi 4: The Duel at Ichijo-Ji Temple (4 Stars)

The fourth film in Tomu Uchida's Miyamoto Musashi series shows how far Musashi has developed. The wild young man of the first film has become a disciplined and calculating swordsman. He still wants to prove himself as Japan's greatest swordsman, but he now relies as much on strategy and intelligence as physical skill.

After Denshichiro Yoshioka is killed by Musashi in a duel, his 13-year-old son Matashichiro is appointed the new head of the Yoshioka school. Although he's a non-combatant, his clan places him in the middle of a battle so that he can symbolically claim victory over Musashi. Dozens of Yoshioka swordsmen are waiting to do the actual fighting. Sasaki Kojiro attends as a spectator because he increasingly regards Musashi as the only swordsman worthy of being his ultimate opponent. He wants to observe his abilities for himself.

The most disturbing moment comes when Musashi deliberately kills Matashichiro first. He's only a child, but as the new head of the Yoshioka school he's officially Musashi's opponent. Musashi understands the clan's strategy and turns it against them: by killing Matashichiro, he has technically completed the duel before taking on the other swordsmen. His reasoning is understandable, but that doesn't make his action easy to accept.

The final battle demonstrates just how formidable Musashi has become. He uses the terrain and careful planning to overcome overwhelming numbers rather than relying on brute strength. He's undoubtedly becoming a greater swordsman, but the death of Matashichiro raises a more troubling question: is he also becoming a better man?

"The Duel at Ichijo-Ji Temple" is the strongest film in the series so far. Musashi's development and Kojiro's growing interest in him point towards the confrontation that now seems inevitable.

Miyamoto Musashi 3: Birth of the Two Sword Style (3 Stars)

"Miyamoto Musashi: Birth of the Two Sword Style" is the third film in Tomu Uchida's five-film series, and it's noticeably slower than its predecessor. There's less action and more time spent examining Musashi's development. He's still obsessed with proving himself by challenging any swordsman with a great reputation, but cracks are beginning to appear in his philosophy. His encounter with a supposedly important master who proves unworthy of his reputation demonstrates the emptiness of simply defeating famous names. Musashi is becoming a better swordsman, but he still has a lot to learn about what greatness actually means.

At the same time, Sasaki Kojiro is becoming increasingly important. He's no longer merely another character crossing Musashi's path; he's emerging as his great rival. Kojiro shares Musashi's ambition and confidence in his own abilities, but he's cooler and more controlled. The film gradually brings the two men into each other's orbit without rushing towards the confrontation that we know must eventually come. "Birth of the Two Sword Style" isn't as exciting as the second film, but it feels like an important transitional chapter, preparing Musashi and Kojiro for what lies ahead.

New Order - Blue Monday

"Blue Monday", originally released in 1983, is frequently described as one of the greatest dance records ever made. That's an impressive claim, but it also raises a question. Is "Blue Monday" really a dance song?

Obviously it is. It's driven by a relentless electronic beat, it was made for clubs, and the original 12-inch version lasts more than seven minutes. But calling it a dance song somehow seems inadequate. Most dance music invites you to enjoy yourself. "Blue Monday" sounds cold, lonely and vaguely threatening. It's music for dancing in the dark.

To understand why, it's necessary to go back to Joy Division. After the suicide of singer Ian Curtis in 1980, the remaining members continued as New Order. They didn't simply abandon their past and become a synthpop group overnight. The darkness of Joy Division remained, but it was combined with synthesisers, sequencers and drum machines. "Blue Monday" is the moment when those two worlds came together perfectly.

The song begins with a programmed drum pattern that immediately establishes its mechanical pulse. Then Peter Hook's bass enters, refusing to behave like a conventional bass guitar. Instead of merely supporting the rhythm, it becomes a melodic instrument in its own right, cutting through the electronics and giving the song an unmistakably human element.

Bernard Sumner's voice is just as distinctive. He sounds detached, almost numb, beginning with the unforgettable question, "How does it feel to treat me like you do?" The lyrics suggest anger, disappointment and emotional confusion without ever explaining exactly what has happened. Even the title doesn't appear in the song.

That's the great paradox of "Blue Monday". The rhythm tells your body to move while everything else tells you that something is wrong. It's enormously danceable, but there's no sense of celebration. You can imagine a room full of people dancing while each person remains trapped inside his own thoughts.

That's what separates "Blue Monday" from so much 1980's synthpop. New Order didn't use electronic instruments to make something bright and futuristic. The machines sound cold because the emotions are cold.

Is "Blue Monday" the greatest dance song of all time? I don't know how anyone could objectively give that title to a single record. But it deserves to be part of the argument.

It's a dance record without happiness, a pop record without a conventional chorus and an electronic record that still feels unmistakably human. New Order took the darkness of Joy Division onto the dance floor.

More than four decades later, the beat still starts and people still dance.

---

How does it feel to treat me like you do?
When you've laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are?

I thought I was mistaken,
I thought I heard your words.
Tell me, how do I feel?
Tell me now, how do I feel?

Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations,
From the past until completion
They'll turn away no more.

And still, I find it so hard
To say what I need to say,
But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me
Just how I should feel today.

I see a ship in the harbour,
I can and shall obey,
But if it wasn't for your misfortune
I'd be a heavenly person today.

And I thought I was mistaken,
And I thought I heard you speak.
Tell me, how do I feel?
Tell me now, how should I feel?

Now I stand here waiting.

I thought I told you to leave me
While I walk down to the beach.
Tell me, how does it feel
When your heart grows cold?

Dragon Fist (5 Stars)

Who's that boy? It's Jackie Chan at the tender age of 23. 

"Dragon Fist" was made at a fascinating point in Jackie Chan's career. It wasn't released until 1979, but it was filmed earlier. Producer and director Lo Wei was still attempting to turn him into the next Bruce Lee. There's no comedy in "Dragon Fist", no elaborate use of furniture and household objects and very little of the playful personality that would become his trademark. Instead, Jackie plays his role completely straight. The result isn't typical Jackie Chan, but it proves that he was already an exceptional martial artist who didn't need comedy to make his fight scenes exciting.

Jackie plays Tang Hao-Yun, a young martial arts student devoted to his master, San Thye. When San Thye is challenged by a rival martial arts master, Chung Chien-kuen, the encounter ends in tragedy. San Thye is defeated and killed. Chung isn't simply presented as an evil man, however. He has his own reasons for what he does and subsequently regrets the consequences of his actions. This immediately makes "Dragon Fist" more interesting than a conventional revenge story in which a hero merely has to track down and kill the villain.

Tang Hao-Yun spends years training, determined to become strong enough to avenge his master's death. When he finally finds Chung, accompanied by his master's widow and daughter, he expects the confrontation that he's been preparing for. Instead, he discovers a man who has been living with remorse. Chung has effectively punished himself for what he did and refuses to defend himself when Tang attacks him. Tang has trained for years to defeat a dangerous enemy, but what satisfaction can there be in beating a man who won't fight back?

This creates a moral problem for Tang. His loyalty to his dead master demands revenge, but the situation is no longer as simple as he expected. The man he has hated for years isn't the monster he imagined. Even his master's widow recognises Chung's remorse. Revenge has ceased to be a straightforward question of justice.

The story becomes more complicated when Tang becomes involved with another martial arts clan. Its leader, Wei, appears to offer friendship and assistance, particularly when Wei learns that Tang's mother is seriously ill and requires medicine. Tang agrees to perform tasks for Wei in exchange for the medicine, but he's being manipulated. Wei has his own ambitions and uses Tang's loyalty, fighting ability and desperation to further them. Tang gradually finds himself working for people whose motives are considerably less honourable than they initially appeared.

This is where "Dragon Fist" moves away from the simple revenge plot promised by its opening scenes. Tang begins the film believing that he knows exactly who his enemy is. As the story progresses, the distinction between friend and enemy becomes increasingly blurred. The man Tang wants to kill may deserve forgiveness, while the people offering to help him are exploiting him. Honour, loyalty, revenge and obligation pull him in different directions.

The plot is sometimes difficult to follow. Characters change sides, motives aren't always explained clearly and the large number of martial arts masters and their followers can make it difficult to remember who belongs to which group. Nevertheless, I prefer this complexity to a simple story about good men fighting bad men. There are villains in "Dragon Fist", but the film's central conflict isn't black and white. Tang has to decide for himself what honour actually means rather than blindly following the demands of revenge.

And then there are the fights.

Anyone who only knows the Jackie Chan of "Police Story", "Project A" or the "Rush Hour" films might be surprised by what they see here. There's nothing funny about the fighting in "Dragon Fist". Jackie doesn't stumble around pretending to be helpless before suddenly defeating his opponent. He doesn't turn chairs, ladders or tables into weapons. The choreography is hard, fast and direct, belonging firmly to the traditional kung fu films of the 1970s.

Jackie is spectacular.

It's sometimes suggested that the comedy in Jackie's later films was used to disguise his limitations as a martial artist. Quite the opposite. The comedy worked because he already possessed extraordinary physical ability. "Dragon Fist" gives him an opportunity to demonstrate this without any distractions. His movements are precise, his kicks are powerful and the lengthy exchanges allow him to display both speed and control. Even at 23 he looks completely convincing as a serious fighter.

The film is also interesting historically because it captures Jackie at the moment when two possible careers were competing with one another. Lo Wei wanted him to inherit Bruce Lee's mantle as a stern martial arts hero. At approximately the same time, films such as "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow" and "Drunken Master" were demonstrating that Jackie could become something entirely different. Those films allowed his humour and personality to emerge, eventually creating the Jackie Chan that the world knows today.

In retrospect, Lo Wei was taking Jackie in the wrong direction. There could never be another Bruce Lee, and Jackie became a much bigger star once he stopped trying to be one. But that doesn't mean the serious Jackie Chan was a failure. "Dragon Fist" proves the opposite. If Jackie had continued making straight martial arts dramas, he could have had a successful career doing that as well. We would simply have been deprived of everything that later made him unique.

"Dragon Fist" isn't one of Jackie's most famous films, and its complicated plot occasionally works against it, but I enjoyed it considerably more than I expected. The moral ambiguity gives the story more substance than the usual revenge tale, while the fight scenes show a side of Jackie Chan that disappeared as his comic persona developed.

Jackie Chan didn't become the next Bruce Lee. "Dragon Fist" demonstrates that he probably could have spent his career trying. Fortunately, he chose to become the first Jackie Chan.