Sunday 31 December 2023

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (5 Stars)


This is my last film of the year. It's one of the best films I know, in third place in my top 100 films list. I had another film in my list planned, but I changed my mind after hearing about the death of Tom Wilkinson yesterday. The cause of his death hasn't yet been named, but his family says that it was unexpected. A heart attack? Maybe.

The eulogies are already pouring in. They name his memorable films, usually starting with "The Full Monty". Most of them don't even mention "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". That's unfortunate, since it's his best film, but it's understandable, because he didn't play the main role. Or is it understandable? He only had a supporting role in "The Full Monty" as well.

I've written about "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" seven times, but I haven't included photos of him in any of the reviews. I'll make up for it now. It's a twisted love film between Joel Barish (Jim Carrie) and Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet), but there's also a love story between Howard Mierzwiak (Tom Wilkinson) and Mary Svevo (Kirsten Dunst), most of it off screen.


Dr. Howard Mierzwiak has invented a machine that can selectively erase memories. He uses it to help people forget loved ones. He's had an affair with Mary that almost wrecked his marriage, so he used the machine to make her forget their affair. The procedure works, even though Mary still works in his practice as his assistant. What he didn't consider is that if she forgets that she was attracted to him she might fall in love with him a second time.


Is a one-way memory erasure enough? When she adoringly looks at him, how can he not be reminded of the hours of passion he shared in her arms?

It's a wonderful film, one of the best films I've ever watched. The trouble is that it's a complicated film. I remember seeing it the first time in the cinema in 2004. It took me about half an hour to understand what was happening, and it wasn't until I watched it again on DVD that I began to understand the subtleties. It's two stories being told at the same time, one in the correct order, the other in reverse chronology. These two stories interact with one another, making the film even more complicated. I could tell by my son Benjamin's reactions that he didn't understand the film. I'll have to watch it with him again.

Tom Wilkinson
5 February 1948 – 30 December 2023

Farewell to a grand actor. He's sadly missed. I'll have to watch some more of his films next week. Maybe even "The Full Monty".

Success Rate:  + 1.6

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Saturday 30 December 2023

General: Top Films of 2023


As I've done each year since 2015, I'm publishing a list of my top 10 films of the year. To qualify for inclusion in the list I must have seen the film in the cinema during the year. This year I watched 110 films in the cinema. This is the second year in a row that no Marvel films have been included in my list. As a devoted Marvel fan, it makes me sad that the films aren't as good as they used to be.

1. Pearl

This is a prequel to "X". It's so good that I had to watch it twice in the cinema.


An incredible monster movie. Give up, America! Japan makes the best Godzilla films.

3. Barbie

Maybe "Barbie" should be in second place. I sat for ages trying to decide if I like it more than "Godzilla Minus One". It's impossible to compare two such different films.


Many people consider "Banshees of Inisherin" to be a 2022 film, but it wasn't released in Germany until January 2023.

5. Sisu

I don't watch many Finnish films, but the ones I watch are very good.


This is a Netflix film that hasn't been shown in cinemas, but it premiered at this year's Fantasy Film Festival, so it qualifies to be included. Only just.

7. Sakra

A historical Chinese film starring Donnie Yen. His films are always good.

8. Seneca

A minimalist film about the last days of the Roman philosopher Lucius Seneca. It's another film that I saw twice in the cinema.


A quirky film based on a true story. A young woman become obsessed with finding the grave of King Richard III.


"Halloween Park" is the international title of the Swedish film "Karusell". It's a slasher film, and I know that slasher films have been overdone for years, but don't groan at its inclusion in my list. It's proof that any film can be good if it has a well written story.



As always, the list is very subjective. They're the films that I personally like. Please post comments, letting me know any films I've omitted in your opinion. I'd love to see the personal top 10 lists of any of my readers.

Friday 29 December 2023

Wine: Fellbacher Trollinger with Lemberger


Yesterday I bought a bottle of the Fellbacher Trollinger with Lemberger, to compare it with the Besigheimer wine that I drank a few days ago. It's interesting to see how the tastes of two local wines can be so different. Besigheim and Fellbach are only 16 miles from one another, and both towns make wines in cooperatives (Genossenschaften), but the Fellbach wine has a subtle acidic tang that's missing in the Besigheim wine. I don't say that as a negative. The acidity is an interesting addition to the fruity taste. The earth must be very different in Fellbach.

Which wine do I prefer? I'd rate them both equally, but I prefer the milder taste of the Eberbach-Schäfer Trollinger with Lemberger. I wouldn't call myself a wine expert, but I know what I like.

Thursday 28 December 2023

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (4 Stars)


Aquaman has settled down and has a family? I had to look that up to see if it's canon. Yes, he has a son in the comics as well, with the silly name Aquababy. I suppose it fits. He was later renamed Arthur Curry Jr. Not very imaginative, but it's better than Aquababy.

Black Manta returns after being defeated in the first film. He has two plans. First, he wants to cause an ecological disaster by stealing orichalcum to rapidly increase the world's temperature. Second, he wants to kill Aquaman as revenge for the death of his father. He finds a black trident that makes him more powerful than ever. It was created by Kordax, the ruler of the lost kingdom of Necrus. It's an underwater kingdom, of course. Kordax has some sort of control over Black Manta, but he doesn't make him do anything that he doesn't want to do already.

I found it difficult to rate the film. The story is entertaining, and the action is thrilling, but the cinematography is confusing. It's often not clear what's happening. My overall impression is positive, but I may re-evaluate it next time I watch it.

Wednesday 27 December 2023

Kick-Ass (5 Stars)


Aaron Taylor-Johnson is currently the favourite actor to become the next James Bond. That must mean he won't be picked, because the favourite actor never gets the role. The studios like to keep us in suspense. He was interviewed for the role over a year ago, but nothing has been revealed.

"Kick-Ass" is in 98th position in my top 100 list. Only 98th? Don't say "only". Every film in my top 100 is a work of genius. I don't know how many films I've seen in my life, before and after I started writing my blog. It must be thousands. So putting a film in 98th place is a great honour indeed. It's impossible to say how many full length films have been made since 1915, when "Birth of a Nation" was released. The consensus is that about 500,000 films have been made worldwide, but that's a very rough estimate. Accepting that estimate, "Kick-Ass" is in the top 0.02%.

It's a film that's grown on me. The first three times I watched it, I only gave it 4½ stars. My tastes have changed? Maybe. Looking back, I don't know why I didn't give it five stars from the beginning.


Size matters?


Not always. Mindy Macready might be a small girl with small guns, but she always finishes on top. You know what they say: the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

Success Rate:  + 1.4

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Tuesday 26 December 2023

Jackie Brown (5 Stars)


After watching an underwhelming film in the cinema this afternoon, I thought it was a good idea to pick another film from my top 100 film list. What better choice than "Jackie Brown", currently in 34th place? It's an homage to the blaxploitation films of the 1970's, but let's be honest: were any of the blaxploitation films half as good as "Jackie Brown"? It's a classic, considered by many to be Quentin Tarantino's best film.

One small criticism I have is that the film needs to be remastered. Many of the scenes are slightly blurred. A film like this deserves to be presented in the best possible quality.


I like pictures of a beautiful woman when the camera is pointing up at her. It makes the woman look like a Goddess. And that's what Pam Grier is. She's a Goddess. She's a giant among women, beautiful and powerful.

Success Rate:  + 4.2

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Die langweiligste Schule der Welt (3 Stars)


It's the school holidays, so I'll be taking Oliver to the cinema more often than usual. The title of this German film means "The most boring school in the world". A title like that made him want to see the film as soon as possible, although the children are slightly older than him. My guess is that it's the German class 6, which would make the children 11 to 12 years old.

I didn't realise before I went to the cinema that it's a science fiction film. Sort of.

Young Maximilian, nicknamed Maxe, visits the Schnittlich School. The school's headmaster has written a book with 777 rules that govern school conduct. Some of the rules are sensible, such as "No mobile phones are allowed in school", whereas others are ridiculous, such as "No laughter is allowed in school". Some of the children accept the rules, but Maxe wants his parents to find him another school. It's the headmaster's dream for his book of rules to be used worldwide.

Now for the science fiction element. A man called Rasputin Rumpus is orbiting the Earth in a satellite. He works for the Organisation to Abolish Boredom. He observes the school and decides to intervene. He visits the school, impersonating a school inspector. He suggests a field trip. Maxe and six of his classmates go to a dilapidated house in the woods, where they have a lot of fun, despite the attempts of an accompanying teacher to make sure they follow the rules.

My grandson Oliver enjoyed the slapstick humour. I was less impressed. The film could have been a lot more amusing. I can't put my finger on any obvious errors. All I can say is that the magic was missing.

Or maybe it's just true that Germany can't make comedies.

Monday 25 December 2023

Evita (5 Stars)


I'm continuing my top 100 films with "Evita", which is currently in 45th place. It's a film that hits me hard emotionally every time I watch it. The story is framed between the two funerals, of Eva Peron's father and Eva herself. This gives the film a gloomy nature, even if there are happy moments.

Eva genuinely loved Juan Peron. I don't doubt that. He wasn't like the many men she'd had before. She was attracted to him because he loved Argentina. They both loved Argentina. Was their love for Argentina genuine? That's a difficult question to answer. They wanted to do good for the country, but they were corrupted by wealth and power. In her early years Eva spoke out against the middle and upper classes, but as the president's wife she adorned herself with diamonds and opulent clothing. She said it was what the people wanted to see, but this was a poor excuse. It's what Eva wanted to see in the mirror.

Juan Peron comes off lightly in the film. Apart from his suppression of the press, we don't see him acting badly. It's mentioned twice that he modelled himself on Mussolini, but we don't see much of this in the film. "Evita" is a film about Eva Peron; if we want to know about Juan Peron we have to read the history books.

I wouldn't say that I feel attracted to Eva Peron or the way Madonna portrays her. There's too much in her life that's negative. She slept her way to the top, and once she was at the peak she pretended to be a saint. The film shows her collapsing when taking communion in church, as if God is striking her down.

What I'm attracted to is the film's atmosphere and its dramatic backdrops. 40,000 extras were used, which isn't a record, but it was probably the last ever film that was made with thousands of extras. Nowadays computer software creates large crowd scenes for a much lower price.

Success Rate:  + 0.6

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Sunday 24 December 2023

Night Train (5 Stars)


Is my memory deteriorating as I get older? I told my son that we need to watch "Night Train", because I watch it at Christmas every year. It's a perfect film for Christmas, because it starts on 24th December and ends shortly after midnight. Then I checked my blog, and I saw that although I've watched it nine times, I've only watched it at Christmas once, in 2021. Never mind, it's a film in my top 100 films list, currently in 39th place. I say "currently", because my list isn't fixed. I keep changing my mind and making adjustments, mostly at the bottom of the list. The last time I changed my top 10 was a few years ago, but anything is possible. I actually have a top 200 list on my computer, but the places 101 to 200 aren't ordered. They're just 100 films that I think ought to be in my top 100, but they don't fit.

An unnamed passenger brings a present that will change everyone's lives. If you can call it a present. The other passengers rip it from his hands when he dies. They all want it, and they're willing to kill to get it.

The film is tarnished by some blunders. which become more apparent every time I watch it. The two Japanese businessmen are playing Go, and when the camera changes angles the pieces are arranged differently. A woman is shot in the head, and a few seconds later the wound is missing. I don't know how the director could possibly have missed things like that. He must have noticed it when he watched the completed film in post production.

Nevertheless, it's still a brilliant film. It deserves its place in my top 100.

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The Iron Rose (5 Stars)


"You've never had a picnic in a cemetery before? You'll love it so much, you won't want to leave".

A young man is invited to a wedding. He recites a poem about suicide. The assembled wedding guests are confused, but they politely applaud. A young woman called Karine is so fascinated that she approaches him, and they agree to go on a date the next day. They meet at the railway station. and they ride their bicycles to the town's cemetery. The man (who isn't named) brings the food.

It's not just about eating. They have sex in a crypt, and they lose track of the time. It's dark when they come out. They can't find the exit. The cemetery is like a living creature, holding the couple prisoners. Whenever they think they've found the way out, there's yet another field with more graves. There's a graveyard for fallen soldiers. There's a chapel for dead children. There's even a mass grave, not yet sealed, in which long dead skeletons have been piled on one another.


Do they want to leave? The man does. He runs from field to field in a frenzy. Karine doesn't. She likes being surrounded by the dead, and she tries to persuade her lover to stay with her.

For the next two weeks I plan to watch films included in my top 100 film list. They're the greatest of the great. I shan't watch them in any particular order. "The Iron Rose" is in 96th place. "Tommy", which I watched yesterday, is in 43rd place.

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Saturday 23 December 2023

Tommy (5 Stars)


"Tommy" has a Christmas scene, but that's not why I watched it today. Every year my son Benjamin visits me for two weeks over the holiday period. Usually he says he wants to watch horror films, but this year I want to do something different. I want to watch films that are in my top 100 film list. I'll give priority to films that he says he hasn't seen before. There might be a few horror films, but I can't guarantee it.

"Tommy" is a good place to start. It's different to anything Benjamin has seen before. He enjoyed it this evening, but I don't think he fully understood it. The contrast between the first half and the rest of the film makes it difficult to understand. It's a film that needs to be watched a few times.

As I've mentioned before, the film isn't simply the Who's rock opera with pictures added. Ian Townshend gave the director Ken Russell permission to change the story to make it a better film. For instance, the rock opera takes place after the First World War, but the film takes place after the Second World War. That makes the film more relevant, especially to those who watched it in 1975, when the horrors of WW2 were still fresh in everyone's memories. The biggest difference is that Tommy's father dies in the film, whereas it was his step-father in the rock opera. I don't know what Ian Townshend was thinking. Ken Russell's change makes the film more emotional. It's more logical in the context of the story.

What will the next film be that we watch together? I already know, but I'm not telling you. Come back and read my blog tomorrow.

Success Rate:  + 4.9

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Friday 22 December 2023

Migration (4 Stars)


This is one of the rare cases where I prefer the German film title to the original title. The Germans call the film "Get out of the pond", which is appropriate. It's about the young ducks Dax and Gwen who live in a small pond somewhere in the north east of America. They spend all their lives swimming in circles in a pond that can't be bigger than 20 square meters. It's not much, but it's all they know, so they're happy with it.

One day a flock of Canadian ducks makes a brief stop in the pond. They say they're on their way to Jamaica. They migrate every year. Dax and Gwen want to travel with them, but their father forbids it. Their Uncle Dan accuses their father of being a coward, so he changes his mind. But the migrating flock has already left, so the family has to find their own way to Jamaica.

Effectively, the film is a road movie. Dax's family has no idea of the distance involved. When they stop in New York City, they think they're almost there. But they have enemies. A master cook has an exclusive restaurant where he prepares roast duck for wealthy guests. He catches the ducks, but when they escape he takes it personally and pursues them on their flight to Jamaica.

This is a delightful comedy. Unfortunately it was spoilt by technical problems. When I arrived in the cinema I was told that the film would be delayed by 15 minutes. That was okay, but after 25 minutes we were still waiting. The cinema kindly showed a short film to keep the children happy. "Migration" finally started 50 minutes late.

From what I've been told, cinema is in a slump at the moment. Things went bad after Corona, and it wasn't until "Barbie" and "Oppenheimer" (collectively called "Barbenheimer") that there were big cinema audiences. The momentum continued for a few months, but "The Marvels" started a slump in which even good films are performing badly at the box office. "Migration" is a film that deserves to be a success. Cinema audiences are fickle. Let's see what happens.

Thursday 21 December 2023

Wine: Besigheimer Felsengarten Lemberger with Trollinger


This is an example of how wine should be drunk. I bought the bottle a few days ago from a supermarket opposite my cinema in Stuttgart. Two days ago I opened the bottle and took a few sips. The wine tasted bitter. I could hardly enjoy it. I drank the rest of the glass before bed, but I had to force myself.

I wouldn't have drunk the wine again, but I had a whole bottle and I didn't want to waste it. I poured a glass, and I let it stand while I was writing a lengthy blog post. About two hours. Then I finally put the glass to my mouth, and I was amazed. It tasted splendid, just as fruity as I'd expect from a Lemberger-Trollinger wine. A good wine needs time to breathe, especially a good red wine.

The taste isn't as mild as the Eberbach-Schäfer Trollinger-Lemberger, but it's still a good wine. Trollinger and Lemberger are two grapes which complement one another.

Interestingly, two Besigheimer wines were being sold side by side: Lemberger with Trollinger, and Trollinger with Lemberger. Usually the two grapes are mixed equally, but I assume that in this case one of the grapes is in the majority.

I'd like to go to a wine-tasting in Besigheim, not because I want to discover wines, since I can buy them in the shops. I want to meet wine experts who can share their opinions with me.

Wednesday 20 December 2023

WWF 1997.06.30 - Monday Night Raw


Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This event was broadcast live.


1. Ken Shamrock vs Hunter Hearst Helmsley

The show opens immediately with the entrance of Ken Shamrock to the ring. Hunter Hearst Helmsley says that it doesn't matter if Ken calls himself the World's Most Dangerous Man, because he's accompanied by the World's Most Dangerous Woman.


Triple H is referring to Joanie Laurer, who's better known as Chyna. She's a monster of a woman who makes me tremble all the way down to my groin.

For most of the match Ken Shamrock has the advantage. Triple H risks disqualification by pushing the referee Earl Hebner out of the way. When Ken is thrown out of the ring, Chyna picks him up and throws him against the steel stairs.

The fight continues, but then Mankind walks down the ramp towards the ring. Triple H watches him, threatening him, not realising that Ken Shamrock is still behind him. Ken pins Triple H.


Chyna will have her revenge.


We finally see the commentators. This threesome is the best commentator team in the history of wrestling.


Sunny announces a competition to win a million dollars at Summerslam, which is due to take place on 3rd August 1997. The contest details aren't revealed yet.


Whatever the contest is, I don't want a million dollars. I'd rather win a date with Sunny.


2. Legion of Doom vs Nation of Domination (Faarook and D-Lo Brown)

Before the match the Legion of Doom is interviewed by Michael Cole. This is his first appearance on a WWF show before he eventually went on to become a commentator. Today, 26 years later, he's still a regular commentator for the weekly WWE shows.

This is the first semi-final of the tournament to decide the new tag team champions. The fight is evenly matched until the Godwinns intervene. Hawk is attempting to pin D-Lo Brown, but Phineas Godwinn enters the ring behind the referee's back and hits him over the head with his slop bucket. Then Faarooq pins Hawk.


The Legion of Doom chases the Godwinns out of the arena. Faarooq calls Vince McMahon into the ring. Faarooq says he deserves to be the number one contender for the WWF championship, but he hasn't been given a title shot, because he's a black man. Vince asks whether the former Nation member Crush should be given a title shot, which just makes Faarooq angry. Savio Vega appears on the ramp and says that he wants to fight Faarooq. Faarook tells him to bring it on, but Savio runs to the ring with three other wrestlers, all dressed in white. Yet another gang? Before they can start to fight, the Disciples of Apocalypse ride to the ring on their motorbikes. They enter the ring, and all eleven wrestlers are hitting each other while the ring officials try to pull them apart.


I don't know the names of most of these wrestlers.


After everyone has left the ring, Michael Cole stands backstage to interview Savio Vega. He looks smart, even without a tie.


Savio Vega tells Michael that his three fellow wrestlers are all from Puerto Rico, and they're called Los Boriquas. The race card was played a lot in the final days of the WWF. Today the WWE is more politically correct. But I still don't know the names of the wrestlers.


3. Brian Christopher vs Scott Putski

This is a light heavyweight match, in which both wrestlers are under 215 lbs (97.5 kilograms).


Jim Ross asks Jerry Lawler whether Brian Christopher is his son. Jerry refuses to answer, but just look at his face. It's the face of a proud father.

The two wrestlers are evenly matched, until Jerry intervenes. He grabs Scott's legs, which allows Brian to pin him. The referees should try to maintain more control.


4. Brian Pillman vs Mankind

Mankind comes out and gives Jim Ross a present. Is it Christmas already? It's a rubber hand dressed up to look like a mandible claw. Brian Pillman attacks Mankind from behind and shoves the rubber hand into his mouth. The two wrestlers are brawlers, showing very little finesse. Brian risks disqualification by hitting Mankind over the head, also knocking the referee.


Triple H and Chyna stand on the ramp watching the match. When it seems like Mankind is about to win, they run to the ring. Mankind applies the mandible claw to Triple H. Brian Pillman takes his shoe off and hits Mankind on the head. Triple H tries to hit Mankind over the head with a chair, but he misses and hits Brian. Mankind chases Triple H and Chyna out of the arena. The referee counts him out, making Brian Pillman the victor.


Paul Bearer comes out to tell everyone the secret with which he's been blackmailing the Undertaker. It took place 20 years ago. Paul worked for a mortician. The family lived upstairs, and the dead bodies were stored downstairs. The mortician and his wife had two sons. One was a red-haired boy who grew up to be the Undertaker. The other was a younger boy called Kane who idolised his big brother. Kane was a sweet little boy, but the Undertaker had an evil look in his eyes. One day Paul arrived and found the funeral home had been burnt down. Everyone was dead, except for the Undertaker, who was hiding in the bushes. Paul accuses the Undertaker of murdering his family.


Sable shows off the million dollars to be won at Summerslam. There's something sexy about girls and money. What I didn't notice before is that the suitcase is shaped like a coffin.


5. Headbangers vs Owen Hart & British Bulldog

This is the second semi-final of the tournament to decide the new tag team champions. Despite a lot of cheating by the Headbangers, Owen Hart manages to pin Thrasher. Then Jim Cornette appears on the ramp and says he's brought a new tag team into the WWF. I don't know who they are, but they sure are fat. 400 lbs at least. Bulldog and Owen disappear fast, leaving the Headbangers to fight the new arrivals.


The Undertaker replies to Paul Bearer's accusations. He remembers the day well. He and Kane were playing with matches in the funeral home. When his father saw them he scolded the Undertaker as the older boy who should have known better. The Undertaker left, but when he turned round he saw Kane was still playing with embalming fluids. He should have told his brother that the liquid was highly flammable. Hours later he returned home and found the house in flames. His family was dead. The Undertaker says he wasn't a murderer, but he still blames himself for what happened.


6. Vader vs Rockabilly

Rockabilly comes to the ring accompanied by Honky Tonk Man. Vader comes to the ring accompanied by Paul Bearer. Rockabilly hits Vader on the back with his guitar, but he's unphased. They've hardly begun to fight when the Undertaker runs out. First he attacks Vader. Then he turns his attention to Paul and threatens to kill him if he doesn't tell everyone the truth. Paul shouts that Kane is still alive. Vader hits the Undertaker, which gives Paul the opportunity to flee.

I couldn't tell who won the match. The bell wasn't rung. When the Undertaker came to the ring, Rockabilly and Honky Tonk Man slipped away without anyone noticing.


7. Steve Austin vs Jim Neidhart

They're two tough fighters. Neither has a clear advantage. After about eight minutes Bret Hart enters the ring and attacks Steve. The referee disqualifies Jim, but the brawling continues. Bret tries to break Steve's leg by putting him in a figure four leglock around the ring post. Mankind comes out and puts the mandible claw in Bret's mouth. Brian Pillman comes out and attacks Mankind. Owen Hart hits Mankind over the head with a chair. At this point the show ends. That's a shame. I wanted to see what happens next.

Tuesday 19 December 2023

Smallville 3.14 - Obsession


This episode was first broadcast on 18th February 2004.


What a beautiful girl! Michael Rosenbaum says that when Sarah Carter walked onto the set of "Smallville" his jaw dropped. "Who's she?" Tom Welling is more restrained and just says that he got on very well with her. What's noticeable is that both of them have very clear memories of this episode. She had a lasting impression on them.


The episode begins with Lionel Luthor leading a class from Smallville High School through Luthorcorp. Just look at the way their teacher, Mrs. Allen, is looking at him. She idolises him.


Two members of the class are Clark Kent and Chloe Sullivan. They know him personally, so they're not so dazzled by Lionel.

His advice to the class is: "You're all here to learn something about business. The most important element in anything to do with economic theory is the individual. Traditional rules, supply and demand, are secondary. But to rise above those rules, to know when to break them, requires absolute personal commitment. I consider it a prerequisite for success".

I think that's hypocritical. Breaking the rules is a privilege Lionel reserves for himself. If any of his employees break the rules, they're fired. Chloe makes a comment on this, which is overheard by the teacher, so Chloe and Clark are separated. Clark has to take the next elevator.


The only other person in the elevator is Alicia, played by Sarah Carter. Poor Clark is embarrassed by being so close to her and covers his crotch with his hands, trying to think about football.


Clark shuffles awkwardly from leg to leg, which only makes it more obvious.


"Aren't you going to press the button, Clark?"


When the elevator finally starts moving they trade glances. No words are spoken. Clark is embarrassed, but Alicia isn't. She's used to the effect that she has on the boys in school.

The atmosphere changes fast. There's a clunk, and the elevator begins to fall. Clark reacts fast. He uses his heat vision to destroy the security camera, and then he smashes the side of the elevator. He grabs a pole, and the elevator grinds to a halt. Alicia gazes at him in amazement.

Clark tells Alicia, "Please don't tell anyone about this". The Luthorcorp security guards begin to break open the door, but he's still holding the elevator in place at the 19th floor. Alicia puts her hands on his shoulders. and they teleport to the ground floor. The elevator begins to fall again, and it crashes next to them. Alicia says, "Now you know my secret too. You can't tell anybody". They make an excuse about the crash happening after they got out.


The next day Clark meets Alicia while walking to school. Doesn't the school bus take kids all the way to the school grounds? This is the first time we've seen snow on the ground in Smallville. Alicia tells him that her teleportation powers began the day of the meteor shower. When she asks Clark if he was given his powers by the meteor shower, he doesn't want to tell the whole truth, so he just says that everything is connected with the meteor shower.

In school Clark asks Alicia if he can work as her partner on their economics project. She asks if it's a date, which he denies, so she asks if they can go on a date. He accepts.

In the podcast Tom Welling says that he felt like a dork around Sarah Carter, so he was acting naturally in the episode. He might have been 26 at the time, but he felt like a nervous 16-year-old around her.

They go to the cinema. We aren't told what film they saw, but I checked what was in the cinema in February 2004. "Mean Girls"? That would have been a laugh. "The Notebook"? That would be more appropriate for a romantic first date. "The Girl Next Door"? Now that would have been a good film to get Clark's teenage hormones even more worked up. I'm sure that Alicia picked the film, so that must have been her choice.


Clark drives her home. Her family still hasn't taken down the Christmas decorations. I'm not a fan of Christmas, but I love Christmas lights, and I think they should be used all year round. I put Christmas lights in my bedroom window one year, and I liked them so much that I kept them in my room for two years. I turned them on every night when I went to bed.

Alicia wants to give Clark a goodnight kiss, but he's too shy. He goes home alone.


At 4 o'clock Clark wakes up and finds Alicia in his bed.


She's come to collect her goodnight kiss.


Clark doesn't even try to resist.


Not that he has a chance to resist. Alicia is in control.


This must have been a hard scene for Tom Welling as an actor. Very, very hard.


But then the door opens and Clark's father walks in. At 4 am? I know they're farmers, but that's ridiculous!


"No, Dad, this isn't what it looks like".

Jonathan leaves the room. Alicia teleports out. When Clark has finally cooled down he gets dressed and goes downstairs for a family meeting. He tells his parents about Alicia's powers, and that she knows about some of his powers. His father asks if he told her about his susceptibility to meteor rocks, which he denies. But she's still in the house listening to the conversation.

At school everyone knows about Clark's date with Alicia. She's been boasting about it. When Clark opens his locker, he finds it full of photos of Alicia. How did they get in there? Did she pick his lock? Does she also have the power to teleport other objects? Or is it just a blunder by the script writers? Tom and Michael don't rise this question in the podcast. Let's just suspend disbelief for a moment. Clark feels like she's going too far and says they should slow down.

Clark visits Alicia's house to talk to her parents. They say that they used to keep her locked in a lead room to stop her teleporting. They warn Clark away, telling him that Alicia's last boyfriend came to a bad end.

Clark goes back home and finds his loft is filled with photos of Alicia. In his school yearbook Lana's photo has been scratched out. Alicia thinks that Clark still loves Lana, but he says that he can't be with her because she couldn't cope with his secrets. Alicia receives a phone call, telling her that her father is in hospital. He's fallen down the stairs. Clark asks Alicia if she did it, and she just teleports away.

When he returns home, Clark finds Alicia in the house. He tells her to turn herself in to the police, but Alicia makes a veiled threat. She says that as long as they keep each other's secrets both their families will be safe. Then she teleports away again.

Clark asks Chloe for help. She goes to Alicia's house and says that the police suspect Clark for attacking her father, after he tried to break up their relationship. She tells them where Clark is hiding. It's unclear where it is, maybe a room on the farm, but Clark has painted the walls with lead paint. Alicia can't teleport away, but she holds out a meteor rock and Clark collapses. Alicia kisses the helpless Clark and walks away.


Alicia blames Lana for everything. She goes to the Talon and threatens to kill her. In the meantime, Clark kicks over a paint pot, and the meteor rock is covered. He rushes to the Talon and finds Lana unconscious at Alicia's mercy. He throws a paint pot at her. She's covered with lead paint and can't escape.

What happens next? We don't know. Clark can't call the police, because they'll give her a shower, and then she'll be able to escape again. Maybe he took her back to her parents and the lead room. It's a big plot hole that this question isn't dealt with.

The next day Lana visits Clark. She says that Alicia told her that Clark told her the truth about himself. This disappoints her.


The episode has a subplot about Adam Knight. Lana breaks into his room in the Talon and goes through his things. She finds a notebook in which he's been keeping track of Lana and Clark. It's recent. The last few pages were 22nd to 26th January. When he comes in she threatens to evict him, but he tells her that tenants are protected by law.

Lana reads up on it, and she finds that it would take about six months to evict Adam. She asks Lex for help. He says that there are methods which are much faster. We can imagine what he means.

A few days later Adam is gone. Lana wants to thank Lex, but he says that he has nothing to do with it.

In the final scene we see Adam tied to a chair in front of Lionel Luthor. Lionel says that he planted Adam in Smallville to find information about Clark Kent, but he's failed, so now their partnership has ended. Dr. Teng arrives with Adam's medication, but Lionel takes it off her and says he won't be given it any more. They walk out of the room, leaving Adam alone in the dark.


In the podcast Michael and Tom are asked if they've had any psycho ex-girlfriends. They both answer Yes, but they refuse to talk about it. Come on, guys! It would have been interesting to hear about them. You don't need to tell us their names.

I didn't have any psycho ex-girlfriends. If anything, I was the psycho ex-boyfriend. No, I didn't try to kill anyone, but in some cases I stalked my ex-girlfriends. That was in my mid-teens. In retrospect, I wasn't a very pleasant person, but by the time I was 20 I calmed down. I'm ashamed of the way I treated my ex-girlfriends.

Always hold on to Smallville

and...

Bring back the Blu-rays.