Atomic Hotel Erotica (4 Stars)

"Hi, I'm Fred Olen Ray, and the management of Retromedia has asked me to come on here and explain to you the new technology of the Hooter Horn. How many times have you been watching a great movie like "Bikini Airways" or "13 Erotic Ghosts", only to find yourself with your head stuck in the refrigerator trying to get yourself a beer, or you're in the John trying to get rid of that beer, or you're at the front door paying for a pizza to go with the beer, and something great is happening in the movie and you don't even know about it? Well, thanks to modern technology secretly snuck out of the Soviet Union, we're able to bring you the Hooter Horn, and this sort of situation will never happen again. Right before any bodacious boobular activity begins in the movie you'll hear a horn that sounds something like this".

Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!

"Now when you hear that sound and you're in another room, that means it's time to get your ass back in there and get on the couch, cos something great is about to happen. Now it also works really well if you've got a girlfriend or a buddy or something who's a little timid and they want to hide their eyes when those big titties come on, but if it's one of your buddies I think maybe it's time to start looking for some new buddies. Anyway, if you don't plan on leaving, if you don't plan on going anywhere, if you plan on sitting there and watching the whole movie from start to finish, you can turn the Hooter Horn function off on the menu and watch the movie without it. So anyway, sit back, enjoy the film, I know I did".

That's the full introduction given by Fred Olen Ray at the beginning of this film. It's not new. The same introduction was used at the beginning of "Curse of the Erotic Tiki" in 2003. The Hooter Horn technology must have been so popular that there were demands to bring it back.

This is the seventh film directed by Dean McKendrick, made in 2013. It's his first attempt to make an erotic horror film. Let's discuss the Hooter Horn first. Even if you intend to watch the film without interruption, I recommend leaving the Hooter Horn alerts turned on. It's so funny to hear it sounding in the middle of the otherwise serious film. You'll enjoy it. However, I don't think Dean McKendrick has used it optimally. It should be a warning that something is about to happen, not that something is happening already. In each case, the horn sounds at the moment when breasts are bared. It should sound 10 seconds in advance, so you can hurry back to the screen. Slam the 100 dollar bill in the pizza guy's hand and say "Keep the change!" Rush back from the fridge with a frothy beer in your hand. Or run back from the bathroom without washing your hands. Naughty boy! You don't want to miss any bare breasts, do you?

Do you want to miss this?

Or this?

Of course not! We need a Director's Cut of "Atomic Hotel Erotica" with the Hooter Horn sounding in the right places!

Three young couples are invited to stay at the Atomic Hotel Erotica for a free weekend. It's advertised as an uninhibited weekend to put spice back in your love life. In other words, it's a 48-hour swingers party. No horny young couples could possible refuse. What they don't know is that they can check out any time they want, but they can never leave. The hotel belongs to a demonic cult that steals the souls of the guests, trapping them inside photographs.

The photos of previous guests are hanging on the wall.

Looking closer, I don't know who the woman is, but that's definitely Alexandre Boisvert.

But looking even closer, you can see that they're screaming to get out of the photo.

While the couples are getting lost in their sexual excesses, they hardly notice the danger posed by the hotel owners, Grismer and Wilfred. I've watched enough horror films to know you should never trust anyone with names like that.

Fortunately, this is one of Dean McKendrick's films that is still available (at the time I wrote this post). I doubt it will scare the socks off you, but you'll enjoy listening to the Hooter Horn.