The Big Bust Theory (4½ Stars)

"Love is something that science will never conquer".

Those words are spoken by Mike Gaglio, who plays the part of Professor Carmichael. He doesn't seem to believe his own advice, because he frequently contradicts himself in what he says and does.

This is the second film directed by Dean McKendrick, made in 2013. I consider it to be one of his best films. That's because of the high quality cast and the script, which is more intricate than in most of his films.

Walter (Eric Masterson) and Stanley (Alexandre Boisvert) are brilliant students who study with Professor Carmichael. The college isn't named, but we can see from the external shots that it's the same college shown in "Strippers From Another World". The two share a house with their friend Chad (Tony Marino), who, in Stanley's words, "has the intellectual capacity of a slugworm". Despite his lack of intelligence, Chad has success with women, whereas Walter and Stanley are single. Chad even manages to pick up Beverly Lynne, the Girl from BIKINI, at his local gym. That's astounding! Tell me the name of the gym, I want to become a member.

They think that they have a chance when their new next door neighbour Tammy introduces herself. She says that she's attracted to men with brains.

But whatever she says, she soon falls into Chad's arms. The nerds might have had a chance with her if they hadn't stood gaping at her like open-mouthed dorks. Stanley makes no secret of the fact that he's staring at her breasts.

I admit, there's a lot to look at. I would have stared as well. Have you ever been in a situation when you're talking to a large-breasted woman, and you know you ought to be looking at her eyes? It's hard to resist taking a little peek, and the longer you talk the harder it gets.

The nerds ask their fatherly professor for advice. He suggests that they invent a love potion. You see what I mean about him not taking his own romantic words seriously?

The love potion is a failure. Walter tries it out on Olga from the Swedish Massage Parlour, but she slaps his face when he suggests a sexual massage. It's not that sort of massage parlour, evidently. Stanley tries it out on the lab assistant Betty, but the test results are invalid because she's always loved him, however much she tries to hide it.

It's incomprehensible why Stanley has never been interested in Betty, since she's played by Christine Nguyen, one of the most beautiful women on the planet.

The nerdy glasses can't hide her beauty. She doesn't seem to need them, because she always looks over the top. I suspect that she only wears them because she thinks they'll make her more attractive to Stanley.

So the professor has his next idea. Why don't the nerds create a lifelike female robot who they can program to do whatever they want? Oh, Professor Carmichael, what are you doing? Is there no romance at all in your heart?

The nerds are more successful this time. Their robot is ready within days. There must be a market for robots like that. They should be millionaires. She doesn't talk much, but for most men that's an advantage. All that matters for Walter and Stanley is that she's programmed to like Nerdy Guys.

Betty quickly covers the robot's naked body with her lab coat. Don't assume that Betty is doing this out of sympathy with a fellow female. She's just jealous. "Why should Stanley be staring at that naked body when he could be looking at me?" That's a rhetorical question.

Betty's jealousy doesn't stop there. She reprograms the robot to be attracted to Hot Chicks. The nerds take her back to their house to test her sexual capabilities, but she ignores them and seduces Tammy. At first Tammy resists, but the robot wins her over with the words "I will have you screaming like a banshee in less time than it takes to tell". I'll have to add that to my list of pick-up lines.

There's a happy ending to everyone's satisfaction. Betty dresses in her sexiest clothes, and Stanley can't resist her. Tammy realises that Chad is too stupid for her and falls for Walter. Professor Carmichael reprograms the robot to like Dirty Old Men.

This is a great film, that's carried by the comic duo of Alexandre Boisvert and Eric Masterson. Alexandre's comic timing makes him perfect for comedy roles, while Eric is a brilliant actor who can play any role perfectly. Someone give the guy an Oscar!