Vamp (4 Stars)

Is this a good film? Probably not, but I have to give it a high rating because I'm biased. It's a film that's had a profound influence on my life for the last 30 years.

I first saw the film on television while I was on holiday with my family. We were in Cullen on the east coast of Scotland. I don't remember the exact year, but the film was released in 1986, so it must have been 1988 or 1989. For some reason I was alone in the evening. I was probably babysitting while my wife was out visiting friends, so I was watching television alone.

Something about the vampires in the film touched a nerve in me. I already knew about vampires. I'd watched films starring Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi since I was a child, and I'd even read Vampirella as a teenager, but the vampires in "Vamp" were different. The premise of a strip club where all the dancers are vampires was new to me. This was the beginning of an obsession with vampires that has lasted until today. I began to read novels about vampires, whatever I could find, but mostly I enjoyed the books written by Anne Rice. In the late 1990's I indulged in vampire roleplay in IRC chat channels. When I bought my first DVD player in 2003, I began to buy vampire films at random, anything I found in the shops. At that time Redemption Films was releasing Jean Rollin's old films on DVD, so he became one of my favourite directors.

One of the films I bought on DVD was "Vamp". At the time it wasn't available in England, so I had to buy the American release from Amazon. I don't know why I waited until 28th September 2005. Maybe I didn't know where to buy it before then.

When I watched it on DVD, the first time in more than 15 years, I was shocked. It wasn't the way I remembered it. In my memories I saw beautiful vampire strippers, alluring and seductive. That's not the way the film shows them. In their human form they're beautiful and sexy, but as soon as they transform into vampires they become ugly. Look at Grace Jones in the photo at the top of this post. She's gorgeous, even with white makeup and a red wig. But what does she look like as a vampire?

No thank you. It's interesting how my memories wiped out the ugliness of the vampires. In my sexual fantasies Grace Jones looked her perfect self.

This is how I remembered Grace Jones as a vampire. It's funny how my memory played tricks on me. I'm sure that a clever psychiatrist could explain it to me.

"Vamp" is a teen comedy. Keith and AJ want to be accepted into the fraternity house De Psi Phi. They're promised a place if they can provide a stripper for the party at the weekend. No problem. They hook up with their nerdy friend Duncan and drive to Los Angeles to the best strip club they can find.

I admit it, this newspaper ad looks appealing. When they arrive, it's a very sleazy neighbourhood, but they lose their reservations when they walk in and see the hot naked girls on stage.

There's a personal connection. One of the waitresses is Allison Hicks, who recognises Keith from school. When they were in fifth grade they kissed each other while playing spin the bottle. They started young. I didn't play spin the bottle until I was 19. It's a fun game. I can recommend it. As it turned out, Keith had totally forgotten about this pre-teen kiss, but Allison never forgot.

It's the relationship with Allison that saves Keith's life. While he's chatting with Allison, his friends are being bitten by the vampire strippers.

It would be fun being bitten by Grace Jones, as long as I don't have to look at her face. This is a scene I clearly remembered from the film, but the face isn't shown. Delicious!

This is a film that deserves a remake, but with sexier vampires.

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