Die Hard 3 (3 Stars)

This film was called "Die Hard with a Vengeance" in most countries, but I prefer to call it "Die Hard 3". It makes things easier for my alphabetical list of posts.

I disliked this film from the first minutes. It doesn't keep to the concept of the first two films, in which John McClane was a policeman outside of his jurisdiction acting without the support of the other police.

John is now living in New York, although he was working in Los Angeles in the second film. He began his career as a New York Cop, then he moved to Los Angeles to join his wife, and now he's back in New York. He's split up with his wife, which is maybe the reason for his move. He's also been suspended from the police force because of his drinking. He's introduced as an alcoholic, which also disturbs me. Okay, people can change. But the biggest problem I have with the film is his relationship to the police. A bomb goes off in a department store, and a caller tells the police that he'll set off another bomb unless John McClane goes to Harlem, wearing a sandwich board with a racial slur. And the police actually send McClane. They give him back his badge and send him into action. Ridiculous!

John McClane is almost killed by a black gang that doesn't like what he's saying. I won't repeat the words, but it's nasty. His life is only saved by a corner shop owner, Zeus Carver, played by Samuel L. Jackson. Zeus has a jovial personality, but he isn't a pleasant man. He's a racist who tells his children not to take any help from white men. He only helps McClane because he's told that the next bomb might go off in Harlem.

A cat and mouse game follows. The mystery caller, who's later exposed as the brother of Hans Gruber from the first film, sends him round New York on impossible tasks, running against the clock to prevent bombs going off. The caller insists on Zeus going with him, which I also find strange. He wants revenge on McClane, so a random man from Harlem only gets in the way. It's an artificial construction by the screenwriter to put a black man into a main role.

There's a lot of action. It's not car chases, it's just a fast car racing from A to B. The fans liked the film, but the critics didn't. It was the most successful film of 1995 at the box office. This is one of the rare occasions where I side with the critics. The film's action sequences aren't enough to compensate for a poor story.

Success Rate:  + 2.1

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Die 1000 Glotzböbbel vom Dr. Mabuse (4½ Stars)

The film takes place in 1960 in Stuttgart and the neighbouring town of Leimerstetten. The dialogue is in the South German dialect known as Swabian. Inspector Krass is puzzled by a series of murders. The clues point to Dr. Mabuse, but he can't possibly be the killer, because he died 30 years ago. He gets closer to the case when a woman called Sabine Hirrlinger attempts to kill herself by jumping from the window of the Hotel "Zum güldenen Grasdackel". She's a model for the advertisements of a radical new invention, the Internet.

The killer is trying to gain control of the Internet for his own nefarious plans. Various millionaires gather in the hotel, attracted by the Internet's potential to change Swabian life.

This is a film for anyone who says that Germans don't have a sense of humour. The film is thin on action, but there's humour from beginning to end.

Inspector Krass is distracted from the case by having to read about the Kehrwoche. It's a typical German custom that in an apartment building the residents have to take turns in cleaning the staircases and the area in front of the building. It's done throughout Germany, but nobody takes it as seriously as the Swabians.

Normally I don't like seeing people smoke in films, but this scene in the police headquarters is hilarious. Everyone at the table is smoking. I'm surprised there was any oxygen left in the room.

Infinity Pool (4 Stars)

I wanted to see "Infinity Pool" on Wednesday, but when I arrived at the cinema they told me it had been cancelled at short notice. It couldn't be shown because they didn't have a key for the film. They used the English word "key", not "Schlüssel", so I assume it's a technical term. They rattled off a list of alternative films I could watch. No, I didn't want to watch "The Whale", "Empire of Light" or "Tehran Taboo". I'm not someone who goes to the cinema to watch a random film. It's not my style.

So I returned today. They've found the key.

James Foster and his wife Em are on holiday in a resort on the island country Li Tolqa. He's a novellist whose only book was a success, but after six years he's lacked the inspiration to write another book. He's hoping that the holiday will give him the ideas he needs for a new novel, but the resort is dull and generic.

They meet a Swiss couple, Alban and Gabi Bauer. Gabi says that she loves his book. The next day they leave the holiday resort and drive to the beach. Alban is too drunk to drive back, so James drives. Due to faulty headlights he doesn't see a man crossing the road. He runs him over and kills him. He wants to call the police, but Gabi warns him that Li Tolqa's police are corrupt and won't treat him fairly. He drives back to the resort, but there must have been witnesses, because he's arrested the next day.

James is taken to the police station. He's told that the penalty for killing someone is death at the hands of the dead person's oldest son. He'll be killed the next day. The only alternative is an offer for tourists. For a large sum of money, the accused person can be cloned, and the clone will be executed in his place while he watches. It's a perfect clone, identical in body and memories, so James' clone will think he really is James.

The next day James is led into a room to watch the execution. His clone is tied to a post. The dead man's 13-year-old son stabs him to death. He's not an experienced killer. He has to stab James' clone 33 times in the stomach before he's dead.

Em wants to leave the island as quickly as possible, but James decides to remain to get ideas for his next novel. He pretends that he's lost his passport, so Em leaves without him. Gabi and Alban invite him to meet three of their friends. They were all sentenced to death in previous years, but they were so fascinated by watching themselves die that they return every year and deliberately commit crimes. They want James to join their exclusive club.

No, that long description wasn't spoilers. It's only an introduction to the film's premise. Now the real story begins. It's a psychedelic kaleidoscope of sex and horror. "Infinity Pool" is an unsettling film. I can't guarantee that you'll like it, but you'll never be able to forget it.

Emmanuelle in Space: The Meaning of Love (2 Stars)

This is the sixth and final film in the "Emmanuelle in Space" series. It's a weak ending to an otherwise enjoyable hexalogy. In the film Tasha is writing a report of what she discovered on Earth, and the aliens sit discussing their experiences. This gives the film the format of an anthology. The film is divided into three acts, easily distinguished by the beginning of new conversations, but the content of the three acts overlaps.

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Act 1: Tasha's Report and Discussions

Tasha is writing a report about her experiences on Earth, in particular her experiences in the third film. We see short excerpts of her erotic adventures. Emmanuelle and Haffron sit with her to talk about her report. Haffron's words lead to more excerpts from the previous films. I found this annoying when I was watching the film. I spent more time trying to remember which films the excerpts came from than actually enjoying the sex scenes. Even so, it was difficult to enjoy them. They were spoilt by annoying voiceovers.

Interestingly, there were also new scenes, obviously outtakes from the previous films. Most of them involved Haffron. There was a scene that showed Haffron's first meeting with Emmanuelle, which should have been included in the first film. We see him mostly with other women, not Emmanuelle herself. It's also amusing to see a scene of Haffron and the slave girls from the fifth film. It's a highly erotic scene, but it makes no sense in the chronology of the adventures n Earth.

Emmanuelle and Haffron

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Act 2: Flashbacks and Fantasies

Tasha sits having fantasies about her time on Earth. She wishes that she had acted differently in some situations. Emmanuelle uses an alien headset to enter her mind and enjoy the fantasies with her.

Kara has a fantasy about having sex with Haffron in the ship, surrounded by the other aliens. This is the best new scene in the film.

Theo talks to Emmanuelle about his experiences on Earth, and scenes from the first film are shown.

In the previous films the aliens look out of the window at Earth. In this film we see other planets. Where are they going? It's not clear. But Emmanuelle says that it's time for her to leave the aliens and return to Earth.

Emmanuelle and Theo

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Act 3: Raymond's adventures

In this act we see reports of the adventures of Haffron and Raymond on Earth. The flashbacks to Haffron's adventures are taken from the second film and the fourth film. Raymond's adventures are all new, because we've never seen him having sex on Earth. The two men talk about jealousy. The subject was already discussed in the fourth film, when Emmanuelle claimed that jealousy is a natural result of being in love, but here it's discussed in more detail.

The aliens have said on several occasions that Earth is the only planet where the inhabitants wage war and kill one another. Emmanuelle says that jealousy is the cause of war, and so wars only take place because of love. That's a controversial viewpoint.

The aliens invite Emmanuelle to return with them to their planet. They say she'll have to change her appearance, because the human shape looks terrifying to their people. In the fourth film Emmanuelle said that she didn't even want to look like another woman, so it's obvious that she doesn't want to look like a lizard. She says that she'll be sad not to see Haffron again, but she has to return to Earth.

She's transmitted to a pier overlooking a beautiful beach. I'm curious where it is. It must be either in France or Ireland, the two filming locations of the series. On the pier she sees a man who looks identical to Haffron, and they become lovers.

This is an unsatisfying conclusion to the series for two reasons. First, it's so artificial. How could a man who looks identical to Haffron be on the pier as a pure coincidence? Secondly, it contradicts everything that Emmanuelle taught the aliens, especially Haffron. She always told them that love is about what's inside, not the appearance.

Farewell to the aliens.

I'll miss them all, especially Theo.

I'll miss Emmanuelle as well, but at least Krista Allen is still on Earth.

Smallville 2.16 - Fever

Click here to watch the podcast.

The episode begins with Jonathan Kent fixing a pipe under the sink. This is where Martha Kent hid the spaceship's key in a tin of flour in the episode "Insurgence", so she needs to put it somewhere else. She takes it into the storm cellar, where the spaceship itself is kept. She digs a small hole and puts the flour tin in it. While she's digging there's a small cloud of green spores, presumably contaminated by the meteor rocks. She inhales the spores. When she goes back into the house she passes out.

Jonathan and Clark take Martha to the Smallville hospital, where she's treated by Dr. Helen Bryce. She tells Jonathan that Martha's baby is healthy, which is a shock, because he didn't know she was pregnant. On the contrary, he'd always thought she was incapable of bearing children.

Dr. Bryce reports the illness to the Disease Control Agency. They send a doctor who informs Jonathan that it's an unknown disease, so his farm has to be quarantined and thoroughly searched. Clark rushes back to the farm at super-speed and loads the ship into a truck. While in the storm cellar, he also inhales the spores. Pete offers to store the ship in his house, but while they're driving Clark gets sick and drives the truck into a ditch. He wants to pull the truck out, but he's lost his super-strength. Clark and Pete can barely pull the truck out together.

The agents of the Disease Control Agency find the flour tin in the storm cellar. They also find the octagonal key. Jonathan pretends he doesn't know what it is, and it's taken for examination. In hospital, Martha tells Jonathan that when the spaceship was activated on the day of the tornado (the episode "Tempest") she was bathed in a blast of light from the ship. She says that she felt healed, and this was the moment when she became able to get pregnant. As for hiding the key, she was afraid that Clark might use the spaceship to leave Earth forever.

Clark collapses at home. Dr. Bryce examines him and says he should be in hospital, but Jonathan refuses and says he should remain at home. Dr. Bryce wants to take a blood sample. Jonathan agrees, as long as she examines the blood herself and tells nobody about it. When she examines the blood in hospital she's shocked by what she sees.

Martha's condition has worsened. She's not expected to make it through the night. Jonathan thinks the spaceship might heal her, but the DCA has taken the key. He breaks into the army base where the items from the farm are being stored. Martha is pronounced dead at 2:17 am. A few minutes later Jonathan arrives at the hospital with Clark. He puts the key in the spaceship, and it rises up in the air. It lets off a blast of light, as it did in "Tempest". This heals Clark, and it brings Martha back to life. It's a miracle.

It's also a miracle that no doctors, nurses or patients were looking out of the windows and saw the spaceship. And what about the other people in the hospital? Were they also healed? The episode's writers evidently didn't think about it. It's a puzzle to me, and Michael Rosenbaum also mentioned it the podcast. Screenwriters aren't perfect. I just don't understand why the director or even the actors didn't talk about it when they were filming the episode.

There are a few sub-plots in the episode. Chloe writes a letter for Clark in which she declares her love for him. She reads it to him when he's lying at home sick, but he doesn't hear it. At least Chloe has a new car, a red Volkswagen beetle. It looks too cool for words.

Lana is deeply affected by seeing Clark ill. She forgives him for treating her badly in the episode "Rush".

Lex has a present for Helen. Is it an engagement ring? That's what I expected, and it's what any woman would expect under those circumstances. No, it's a key to his mansion. He wants her to move in with him. That's not a very romantic gesture, but it's the most we can expect from a man like Lex.

Lex has also bribed a junior doctor from the DCA to give him Martha Kent's medical file.

Now to the podcast itself. Michael and Tom sit and talk about various things, not always Smallville. Michael has a pet hate: he doesn't like films that are too long. The second Avatar film is over three hours long. He remembers the good old days when films lasted 90 minutes. He hasn't seen "The Way of Water" yet, and he won't watch it in the cinema. He'll watch it at home, eventually. I doubt he's ever watched "Love Exposure", a four hour masterpiece. I have a saying:

"A good film is never too long. A bad film is never too short":

One of the callers asked Tom how he was able to lie still while Allison Mack (Chloe) was reading the letter to him. The answer is simple: he didn't. While there was a close up of Chloe's face, Tom wasn't in the room. It would have distracted her. She was reading the letter to herself.

I'm always happy when Tom remembers details of an episode. It's disappointing when he says that he forgot everything.

It was Ryan's 35th birthday the day before the podcast was filmed. Happy belated birthday!

Michael, Tom and Ryan agreed that "Fever" isn't one of the best episodes. The acting was good, but they didn't like the story. I wonder what the screenwriters would think if they listened to the podcast. "You're shitting on our script!"

Once more, my thanks to Michael, Tom and Ryan for a wonderful podcast. I'm getting much more enjoyment out of "Smallville" than when I first watched it 15 years ago.

The Talon is the place to be. They even have concerts. But who's Steadman?

That's Steadman. They're okay, I guess. Pleasant enough music, easy listening at a charity concert, but forgettable. Their sound reminds me of Radiohead. They appeared on a lot of television programmes in the early 2000's, but it wasn't enough to make them a household name. They split up in 2005.

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Marvel 1976.09 - Daredevil #137

Daredevil #137

Title: The Murder Maze strikes twice!

Writer: Marv Wolfman

Artist: John Buscema

Villain: Jester

Regulars: Foggy Nelson, Heather Glenn

John Buscema continues as artist this month. A note on the letters page tells us that he's filling in for Bob Brown because Bob is sick. There's no clue what the sickness is, but anything that lasts more than two months must be serious.

The crowd has become a lynch mob and is about to hang Daredevil. What's his crime? Does it matter? He manages to escape and goes to the district attorney's office to discuss his next steps. Not that the decision is difficult: find the Jester! Before he does that he goes back to his apartment to let Heather know he's still doing well.

There's another television broadcast from President Ford, telling the populace that (unnamed) super-heroes and the police have teamed up to attack the banks on Wall Street.

Daredevil follows some crooks to the Jester's lair. After a short fight, Daredevil is knocked out by gas. The crooks are sensible; they say that Daredevil should be shot. The Jester prefers to have fun; he throws the unconscious Daredevil into his Murder Maze.

The title says that the Murder Maze strikes twice. That's because the crook called Jefferson died in the maze in the previous issue.

Daredevil wakes up and makes his way through the maze. It leads from one trap to another, each deadlier than the previous one. Daredevil gets out by cheating. Instead of going forwards, he heads back the way he came and breaks through the entry door. The Jester flees, but Daredevil catches him in the street.

Daredevil appears on television to tell everyone that the Jester was responsible for manipulating the news. He says that people shouldn't blindly accept everything they're told, they should compare different news sources and decide for themselves. That's good advice. After the broadcast there's a news flash that the Hollywood actress Karen Page, Matt's former girlfriend, has been kidnapped.

Emmanuelle in Space: A time to dream (4½ Stars)

This is the fifth film in the "Emmanuelle in Space" series. It follows a different pattern to the previous films. Instead of accompanying Emmanuelle on Earth, the aliens observe her while she's dreaming.

Once more, the film is divided into three acts.

---

Act 1: Emmanuelle's First Dream

Haffron wants to travel to Earth with Emmanuelle, but she says that she's tired and she needs to sleep. She lies down, and the aliens surround her to watch her sleep.

Evidently they don't believe in privacy on their planet.

It goes a step further. When the aliens put on their headsets, they can see and feel her dreams.

Emmanuelle dreams that she's in the French castle that we saw in the first film. In her dream the castle belongs to Pierre, one of the aliens. She's surprised to see that the aliens all arrive at the castle in pairs. All of them, except for Haffron. Each of the pairs has sex in different rooms of the castle. Emmanuelle herself is in bed alone. Eventually the others come to her, saying they know that she's sad because her boyfriend Bill isn't with her. She's confused, because she doesn't know anyone called Bill. There's no time to ask questions, because they start an orgy on her bed.

The aliens watching her in the spaceship are excited by what they see.

When Emmanuelle arrived in the castle she was carrying a metal ball. The ball falls on the floor and opens. A naked man comes out. Emmanuelle is taking a shower after her orgy. The man finds Emmanuelle and tells her he's a Genie called Gishnir. Genies are powerful beings from a distant planet. He can grant wishes, and Emmanuelle is the only one who can see him.

Emmanuelle's first wish is that Gishnir should put some clothes on. I thought she liked naked men. Then she goes through rapid wardrobe changes before she goes downstairs to eat with the others.

At this point Emmanuelle wakes up.

---

Act 2: Emmanuelle's Second Dream

Emmanuelle sits up, surprised to see the aliens standing round her. She's still tired, so she goes back to sleep.

The second dream is a continuation of the first. Emmanuelle asks Gishnir how long he was in the metal ball. He can't tell her exactly, but he says that it was more than a thousand years. The last person he served was a woman called Sansi. Emmanuelle asks him to show her what happened.

There was a chieftain in Arabia called Kareem. He had a wife called Sansi and five slave girls. He used to spend his time having sex with the five girls, ignoring his wife. The slaves despised Sansi, calling her ugly. Was she ugly? Not at all. Sansi is played by Krista Allen, and in the story Emmanuelle feels like she's taken Sansi's place.

Sansi watches Kareem, feeling jealous that she's left out.

I'm jealous that I can't have a harem like Kareem.

There's even a girl with a whip. She would be my favourite.

Gishnir arrives and tells Sansi he's a genie, and he wants to grant her wishes. Sansi tells him that she wishes she were beautiful. Gishnir grants the wish, but she complains that she hasn't changed. He says she was already beautiful. I agree.

Then Sansi wishes it would rain gold. Gold coins shower down on her head. At first Sansi laughs, but then she says that they're hurting her. Gishnir stops the gold falling on her. This is an important lesson for her. Genies grant wishes exactly as they're formulated, so she has to be careful that there aren't any negative consequences.

Gishnir tells Sansi that if she wants Kareem she should do something about it. She goes to his bed and says she wants to join in the fun. Kareem agrees, but the other girls keep pushing her out of the way. So she says, "I wish the slaves would all leave", and they walk out.

Kareem is happy to be alone with Sansi, but she soon discovers it's not as good as she expected. He keeps making demands from her. "Give me wine", "Give me grapes", "Give me sex", "Massage my feet". He's so used to having five women at once that he doesn't realise that one woman can't do everything at the same time.

The aliens are confused by this whole sequence of events. They ask Haffron if it's Emmanuelle's dream or Gishnir's dream. He tells them that it has to be Emmanuelle's dream, because Gishnir doesn't exist.

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Act 3: Emmanuelle's Second Dream Continues

All these sex dreams are too much for the aliens Raymond and Kara. They leave the others, and they go to have sex in their quarters. This is the first time we've seen the aliens having sex in space. When they return, the other aliens are still watching Emmanuelle. Does anyone else find that creepy?

In her dream, Emmanuelle is back in the French castle. She's lying in bed, while Gishnir is sleeping on a chair. I didn't know that genies need sleep, but it's only a dream, so anything is possible.

Raymond and Kara (the dream residents) come into the bedroom, because they know that she's still missing Bill. They begin to have sex with her, but then Emmanuelle sits up in bed with a shock. She's alone. It was a dream within a dream.

The aliens are confused, yet again. How is it possible to have a dream within a dream? Haffron tells them that it's something humans do. Really? I've never had a dream within a dream.

Emmanuelle wakes Gishnir and tells him that she misses Bill. She doesn't know who he is, but she knows that he's her dream man. She needs to do something while he's away. She tells Gishnir that her next wish is for Gishnir to have sex with her. I've never seen him fulfil a wish so willingly.

They don't get very far. Suddenly Emmanuelle sits up in bed with a shock. She's alone in bed, and Gishnir is still asleep in his chair. It was a dream within a dream within a dream. The poor aliens have no idea what's happening. Once more, Haffron explains that this is normal in human dreams. I wonder if this film was one of the inspirations when Christopher Nolan was writing "Inception".

Emmanuelle wakes Gishnir and says that she can't make do with a replacement. She needs Bill, and she wishes to see him. Gishnir tells her that if she looks into his metal ball she'll see him. She looks into the ball, and she sees a man in a tent in the desert. He's wearing a robe that covers everything except for his eyes. He's sitting at a computer typing. A woman comes to him with a drink. She bares her breasts and offers him sex, but he says that he only loves one woman.

The man returns to typing. It seems to be a diary. He's writing about the beautiful woman of his dreams, and how he longs to see her again. He writes that her name is Emmanuelle. That's enough for Emmanuelle. She tells Gishnir that she wishes to be with him. In the next moment she's standing in the tent. She uncovers the man's eyes, and it's Haffron. That wasn't a surprise. The first time Bill was mentioned, I thought it must be Haffron. We saw in the last film that his full name is Haffron Williams.

There's a passionate love scene with Haffron and Emmanuelle. I wasn't surprised by the identity of Bill, but the aliens didn't see it coming. They're shocked, especially Theo. It never takes much to shock Theo.

When Emmanuelle wakes up on the spaceship, Haffron sends the other aliens away. Emmanuelle says that wishes only come true in dreams, to which Haffron replies, "It doesn't have to remain a dream if we both wish it to be true".

This is the most erotic film in the series so far. There's more nudity than in any film so far. I'm just sad that it hasn't been released on Blu-ray yet. The picture is too fuzzy.

Masha and the Bear 2.1.3 - Growing Potion

This episode was first broadcast on 5th June 2013.

Bear is in the garden measuring his vegetables. He expects his carrots to be 20 centimeters. Isn't that the name of a song?

His tulips are even worse. Look at the way they're drooping. It's bad enough being small, but anything that's small and floppy is good for nothing.

So Bear heads into his laboratory. I bet you never knew he's a scientist.

But there's no peace for Bear. The door bursts open, and in comes Masha with her baby. She wants to know if the pig has grown since last year.

Bear measures the pig. Yes, she's grown.

Then it's Masha's turn. She hasn't grown at all. 

Bear has to get back to work. He tells Masha to stay out.

Bear's formula has worked. The tulip is standing tall and proud. No more floppy flower.

Bear goes back into his garden to apply the liquid to his other flowers. But Masha has seen what he's doing. She wants to be bigger as well, so she takes the glass and pours it over herself.

She grows and she grows until she's too big to leave the house.

Bear squeezes back in and mixes another potion.

This one shrinks the tulip. It's not as impressive, but at least it still stands upright.

He applies the new liquid to Masha. Look how small she is! Poor little girl!

Suddenly she starts to grow again!

She keeps on growing.

Masha is too big for our world.

Luckily the effect is only temporary. She shrinks back to her normal size.

Masha checks herself against the chalk mark on the door.

She never wants to get any bigger. She'll be a little Russian girl forever.

The End.