The Postman Fights Back (4 Stars)

No, this isn't the remake of a Kevin Costner film. It's a Hong Kong film made by Ronny Yu in 1982. Interestingly, the special effects look better than in "The Bride With The White Hair", which he made eleven years later.

It's not clear to me when the film takes place, but another reviewer says it's 1913. I don't know where he gets that from, but it makes sense, based on the technology we see in the film. Most of the action is with sword fights and kung fu, but in some scenes there are modern looking firearms.

Ma is a postman. He carries letters between villages. He isn't actually paid for his work. When he arrives in a village a collection is made among the people who are happy to receive mail. He's warned by his relatives that a new railroad is being built and he'll soon be unneeded.

He's asked to deliver four cases to a general in the north. At first he refuses, saying that he only delivers letters, but the pay is so much that he can't turn it down. He wants to do the delivery with two friends, but a fourth man that he hardly knows is added to the group. It's said that he knows the bandits on the road, so he'll be a good addition to the group. At first the extra man, Fu Jun, is an outsider in the group, but he soon makes friends with the others.

So they set off. They're forbidden to open the cases, however curious they are about the contents. On the way they're frequently attacked by bandits. Is it worth the money? To add to the problems, two women attach themselves to the group. One is a woman from Ma's village who wants to go to Shanghai to buy her sister back from slavery. Another is a woman who they rescue from bandits on the way.

The film is good, though confusing. I suspect I'd enjoy it more if I knew the historical background. What was happening in China in 1913? I have no idea. But one thing that disturbs me is that the film has so much smoking. The postman and his three companions are constantly puffing at cigarettes. Don't they get out of breath when they're fighting?

Another problem is that the film is uneven. For the first half hour Ma, the postman, is the main character, but as it continues Fu Jun has more screen time.

Curse of Chucky (3 Stars)

I'm sorry to say that this is the weakest film in the Chucky series. There's none of the fast action that we're used to, interspersed with comedy. It's just long, lingering suspense. We have to wait 88 minutes before we see the wonderful Jennifer Tilly, and a minute later she's gone. If I remember correctly, the seventh film in the series is better, but I've only watched it once, so I can't be sure. I'll try to watch it again later this week.

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Scarface (5 Stars)

"Scarface" is a story of the American dream. You can come to America with nothing, but if you work hard you can move to the top fast. That's what Tony Montana wanted. He came to America on a boat from Cuba in 1983 with nothing in his pocket. It wasn't even certain that he'd be allowed to stay in America. But he worked hard. He was a criminal, but crime in a business like any other. With hard work he became the biggest drug dealer in South Florida.

Even though Tony is the bad guy, people have sympathy with him. That's probably because they value his work ethic. They respect him as the underdog who came out on top.

But he fell from his top position. Was it his morals? Was it because he refused to kill children for the Bolivian drug lord? I don't think so. He could have worked around it somehow. He was already acting erratically. The problem was drugs. Not the ones he was selling, the ones he was using. "Never get high on your own supply".

When a man has cocaine piled up on his desk, he's dead already.

The actress Jenna Presley gave up her career in pornography, blaming porn for ruining her life. She was wrong. Appearing nude in films ruined nothing; her drug addiction ruined her. She was the highest earning porn star in America, but she was always broke because she spent her money on drugs as soon as she earned it. Without drugs, she'd still be making high quality pornographic films today.

It's been argued that many things are a drug, even coffee and alcohol. I can see the problem in making clear definitions. I shan't attempt to define the word drug itself. I'll just talk about which drugs are harmful and should be outlawed. A drug is bad if you can't stop taking it. For instance, I drink coffee every day, but I've had times when I did without it for weeks, mostly when I was taking blood pressure medication in England. I missed my morning cup of coffee, but I didn't feel like I was suffering without it. Alcohol is a borderline case. Most people, including me, can take it or leave it, but there are many who need alcohol every day.

What about cigarettes? Nicotine isn't usually considered a drug because it's legal, but it's highly addictive. Despite warnings about negative effects, nobody who smokes can do without cigarettes.

An interesting case is marijuana. For years people have been saying it should be legalised because it's harmless. I've never used it myself, but I've had a lot of friends who smoked it, and I've made interesting observations. People who use marijuana like to talk about it. They become obsessed with it without noticing. It's a medically proven fact that it brings on psychotic episodes in people with a tendency to psychosis. The figures from studies vary between 10% and 15%. The normal marijuana users deny this. They make excuses or just say it isn't true. But I witnessed it myself in my second wife Nicola. She didn't smoke marijuana often, but whenever she did she became suicidal. I knew that and she knew that, but she still made mistakes. One afternoon we were sitting with Pete, a friend of mine in Birmingham, who regularly smoked marijuana. He offered her some, and she turned it down, saying it was bad for her. So he started a long monologue about how good it is. Eventually, despite my protests, she smoked a joint. When we went home Pete said, "Look how good it's made you feel". Later that evening I had to take her to hospital after she cut her wrists.

Cocaine is considered a helpful drug by many. It keeps people awake, and it helps them function. It's often called the drug of intellectuals. Maybe, just maybe, it can be helpful in small quantities, but how easy is it to remain with small quantities? I have no experience.

Heroin is a destructive drug. Whoever takes it is incapable of functioning in society. It's so addictive that a person's only interest in life is getting more heroin. I knew several heroin addicts, and they were all wrecks. Subhuman. There was only one exception. There was a girl called Maisie, the girlfriend of a drug dealer called Alexis Thomas. One day when I met her she said, "Mike, everyone told me that heroin is bad, but I take it and it makes me feel great".

I asked her how long she'd been taking it. She said "One week". I wonder if she's still alive today.

It's obvious that drugs (and I'm talking about illegal drugs) feel good when you try them. If they didn't, nobody would want them. But there's a sting in the tail. The negative effects come later. Maybe it doesn't feel as good any more, or maybe you realise that you're spending too much money on them and ruining your life. When you realise you can't stop, it's already too late. I wonder how many how many weeks Maisie needed to realise this point.

Success Rate:  + 0.6

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The Bride With White Hair (4 Stars)

I recently said I was considering a Ronny Yu marathon. On second thoughts, I shan't do it, at least not in the near future. I looked at my shelf and remembered that I have more than 20 unwatched films. I need to catch up on my new films before returning to my old films, however good they are. Or maybe I can make a mix of my new and old films. I'll see.

Nevertheless, I've picked one of Ronny Yu's films to watch today. It was made in 1993, when he still lived in Hong Kong. It's a tragic drama. Cho I-Hang is a master swordsman. He's destined to become the leader of the Wu-Tang clan, but he doesn't have the heart to become a killer. He thinks that as a swordsman he should protect those in distress, not go into war against rival clans.

One day he meets a beautiful young woman who's a member of a rival cult. She tells him she has no name, so he calls her Lien Ni-Cheng. This wins her heart, because nobody has ever wanted to give her a name, but they can't remain together. She's the lover of her cult's leader, a Siamese twin whose sister is joined to his back. That's really weird. Whenever he makes love to a woman, his sister is lying on his back laughing hysterically. That would put me off.

War breaks out between the cult and the Wu-Tang clan. Lien enters the temple and slaughters almost everyone. Is Cho able to take revenge against the woman he loves?

This is Cho's master instructing the children in swordsmanship and calligraphy. I've heard it said before that the two disciplines go together, but I've never understood why.

It's a spectacular film that's been highly praised by critics. I find it lacking because of the dated special effects. When the sword fighters leap into action they're just a blur. If the film had been made ten years later, it would have been a lot better.

China O'Brien 2 (4 Stars)

This is a sequel to "China O'Brien", made two years later in 1992. Once more it's distributed by the Hong Kong film company, Golden Harvest. The story also takes place two years after the events of the first film.

Despite showing reluctance at the end of the first film, the young man Dakota (Keith Cooke) has become a deputy. China O'Brien (Cynthia Rothrock) is still the sheriff of Park City, Utah, and she's managed to keep the town peaceful.

A drug dealer called Charlie Baskin has escaped from prison. He's vowed revenge on everyone who put him away, from the judge to the witnesses to the policeman who arrested him. One by one they're killed, and it's the main news on the television.

Only one target is missing. One of Charlie's gang testified against him, and is now living in witness protection in Park City using the name Frank Atkins. Somehow Baskin locates him, and he comes to Park City with his men. This is a special case. Unknown to the FBI, Atkins stole five million dollars of the drug money, and Baskin wants it back.

Atkins has the money in a hidden closet in his kitchen. I have to ask something. What's the point in stealing money and never touching it? He might as well have not had the money. If I'd been in his position I would have spent the money slowly, maybe $100 a week, maybe more on special occasions, but not enough that it would attract attention. That's the best way to get rid of stolen cash.

China, Dakota and her Australian school friend Matt Conroy (Richard Norton) fight against Baskin and his gang. It's unusual that the gang is made up of skilled martial artists, but we needed a good film.

China O'Brien (4½ Stars)

Cynthia Rothrock spent the first five years of her acting career making films in Hong Kong. Her martial arts skills made her a perfect actress for films such as "Yes Madam". In 1990 she returned to America to make films in her own country, but there was still a Chinese connection. "China O'Brien" is set in America and has western (i.e. non-Chinese) actors, but it was distributed by Golden Harvest.

China O'Brien is a policewoman in the Big City, presumably New York. When breaking up a street fight she shoots someone pointing a gun at her partner. When he's lying dead, China realises it was only a child. She quits the police force and swears never to use a gun again. She returns to her home town, Park City in Utah. It's a sleepy little town, not a city at all, but a criminal boss has set up a drug smuggling ring in the town. He's effectively taken over the town, since he's bribed the judge and other officials to work for him.

China's father is the local sheriff and one of the few in the town who isn't corrupt. He's killed by a bomb planted in his car. China decides to become the next sheriff. She still won't carry a gun, but her martial arts skills are more than enough to do her job. I'm not enough of an expert to recognise what fighting skill she uses in the films. Cynthia has black belts in seven different fighting styles, so it's different to tell. I suspect that she's using primarily karate, with a lot of groin kicks.

It's interesting to see that the film was set in a real town. Usually towns are invented for films. We don't see any Mormons in the town. Maybe it's not such a religious place. What's strange is that her best friend Matt, who she's known since high school, has a strong Australian accent. No explanation is given.

I watched the film on a stunning 4K disc. This is the future of home cinema.

Bikini Airways (4 Stars)

I'm happy to say that Fred Olen Ray has released another one of the Medina films on Blu-ray. He's getting there, slowly but surely. Five down, 27 to go.

I call this series of films the Medina Collection, since they were directed by Fred using the pseudonym Juan Medina or Nicholas Juan Medina. He prefers to refer to them as his bikini films, even though there are no bikinis in most of the films.

This is the third version of the film I've bought so far. The first DVD was poor quality, and worst of all, it was a double-sided DVD. The second DVD was remastered from the original tapes. It was a significant improvement. The Blu-ray disc that I now hold in my hands is a further improvement, as I can see from comparing it with the second DVD. I have to qualify it though. The wide angle scenes are still slightly fuzzy, but the close up scenes look almost perfect on my 4K OLED television.

Pilots have been flying the skies for years, but they've never seen a UFO.

"Bikini Airways" is notable for having the first appearance of Eric Masterson in a Retromedia film. He went on to make a total of eleven films.

Admittedly, "Bikini Airways" is trashy, but I like trash. It was a good film that kicked off 53 further films in its softporn genra. Or was it 52? Fred says that "Bikini Airways" was the first of the bikini films, but it was the second film in the Medina Collection.

Here's a summary of the Retromedia films so far, with the Blu-ray releases marked.

The Medina Collection

1. Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002)
2. (BR) Bikini Airways (2003)
3. Haunting Desires (2003)
4. Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2003)
5. Bikini Carwash Academy (2004)
6. Erotic Dreams of Jeannie (2004)
7. Teenage Cavegirl (2004)
8. The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful (2005)
9. Bikini Chain Gang (2005)
10. Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006)
11. Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet (2006)
12. Harlots of the Caribbean (2006)
13. Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes (2006)
14. Bewitched Housewives (2006)
15. The Girl from BIKINI (2006)
16. Super Ninja Doll (2007)
17. Tarzeena (2007)
18. Voodoo Dollz (2008)
19. Bikini Royale (2008)
20. (BR) Bikini Frankenstein (2009)
21. (BR) Twilight Vamps (2009)
22. Bikini Royale 2 (2009)
23. (BR) Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2009)
24. Housewives from Another World (2010)
25. Lady Chatterley's Ghost (2010)
26. Bikini Time Machine (2010)
27. Sexual Witchcraft (2010)
28. Bikini Warriors (2010)
29. The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad (2011)
30. Dirty Blondes from Beyond (2012)
31. Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills (2012)
32. (BR) Baby Dolls Behind Bars (2012)

The McKendrick Collection

1. Strippers from another world (2013)
2. Big Bust Theory (2013)
3. Intergalactic Swingers (2013)
4. (BR) All Babe Network (2013)
5. Great Bikini Bowling Bash (2014)
6. Stacked Racks from Mars (2014)
7. Atomic Hotel Erotica (2014)
8. Lolita from Interstellar Space (2014)
9. Sexy Warriors (2014)
10. Bikini Avengers (2015)
11. (BR) College Coeds vs Zombie Housewives (2015)
12. Lust in Space (2015)
13. Erotic Vampires of Beverly Hills (2015)
14. Invisible Centerfolds (2015)
15. (BR) Cinderella's Hot Night (2017)
16. (BR) Sleeping Beauties (2017)

The Apocrypha

1. (BR) Bad Girls Behind Bars (2016)
2. Vixens From Venus (2016)
3. Cyborg Hookers (2016)
4. Cosmic Calendar Girls (2016)
5. Escape From Pleasure Planet (2016)
6. (BR) Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)

The Medina Collection consists of films directed by Fred Olen Ray using the pseudonym Juan Medina. The McKendrick Collection consists of films directed by Dean McKendrick. The Apocrypha consists of films directed for Retromedia by other directors.

Notes:

(1) "Haunting Desires" (Medina 3) is the only Medina film that hasn't been officially released on DVD.

(2) "Bikini Carwash Academy" (Medina 5) was re-released with a different opening credits sequence, listing the director as Sherman Scott.

(3) "Tomb of the Werewolf" (not listed above) was directed by Fred Olen Ray using his own name, but it's in the Medina style. It has almost the same cast as "Haunting Desires".

(4) Dean McKendrick made seven erotic thrillers for Retromedia, not listed above.

(5) Apocrypha? If you have a better name for these films, let me know.

That's 11 out of 54 films released on Blu-ray so far. At the current speed they won't all be available on Blu-ray until 2040. I'm hoping Fred will speed up, but there are problems with the early Medina films. The first films were made in single density, so they'll need time-intensive remastering to be prepared for Blu-ray. Fred will only do that if he's 100% certain he'll make a profit. The later films shot in high density can be transferred to Blu-ray with a minimum of effort.