Captain Phillips (5 Stars)

"Captain Phillips" follows Tom Hanks as the most stressed man on the Indian Ocean. He is just trying to deliver some cargo, drink bad coffee and fill out paperwork when a group of Somali pirates shows up in a tiny skiff that looks like it should capsize if someone sneezes.

The pirates board the ship with enthusiasm that suggests they skipped every team-building seminar known to man. Their leader, Muse, announces “I am the captain now” which instantly becomes the world’s most quoted line. Phillips tries to reason with them using the universal language of middle-aged managerial concern.

Eventually the pirates kidnap him in a lifeboat that resembles a bright orange coffin. Tom Hanks spends the rest of the film sweating, negotiating and looking like he would give anything for a nap. The US Navy arrives with enough firepower to vaporise a small moon, which makes the pirates realise this was not the best career move.

The film ends with a famous scene in which Hanks delivers the most convincing performance of a man who has absolutely had enough. It is tense, gripping and unexpectedly funny if you enjoy watching sophisticated global shipping operations undone by four men in a boat that probably needs an oil change.

Success Rate:  + 2.0

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Not One Less (5 Stars)

"Not One Less" is the ninth film made by Zhang Yimou, and it's different to any of his earlier films. It abandons the heightened visuals of his period pieces in favour of an unvarnished look at life in rural China. What makes the film so compelling is the way its candid scenes anchor the story. Zhang works with non-professional actors, real locations and situations that unfold with the loose rhythm of daily life. The result is a drama that feels lived rather than staged. The actors who have speaking roles all use their real-life names and careers, so they're playing themselves, and the film has the style of a documentary.

The early village scenes establish this tone immediately. The school is a crumbling building where chalk is rationed and chairs are mismatched. Children wander in and out with the relaxed confidence of pupils who know that no one has the authority to discipline them. These moments are shot with patience; the camera sits back, letting kids quarrel, run errands or drift into boredom. Nothing feels arranged. Wei Minzhi enters this world as a shy substitute teacher who is barely older than her students; her hesitations and stubbornness blend seamlessly with the environment. When she struggles to keep order or negotiate for chalk, the interactions feel as if they were captured rather than directed.

The film becomes even more striking once the story moves to the city. The candid approach continues but the mood changes sharply. In Beijing the camera records crowds, noise and pace; Wei is swallowed by traffic and anonymous streets. Her attempts to ask for help are met with indifference, and Zhang lets these moments play out with minimal interference. Passers-by glance at the camera or ignore it; the film absorbs the energy of the city without smoothing it into neat drama. The gap between the quiet village and the disorienting urban landscape becomes the emotional centre of the film. Wei's determination grows in direct response to the chaos around her.

The television station sequence is particularly effective because it fuses the candid approach with a controlled setting. Wei appears tiny in imposing hallways; she stands silently while adults hurry past her. When she finally delivers her appeal on camera, the moment works not through sentiment but through sincerity. The unpolished performance fits the film's style; it feels like the culmination of her journey rather than a manufactured climax.

By using real people and authentic spaces, Zhang crafts a social drama that avoids melodrama. The candid scenes in the village and the city do more than provide texture; they reveal the structural inequalities that shape the characters' lives. A single piece of chalk becomes a symbol of scarcity. A bus fare becomes a barrier that might end a child's education. None of this is stated directly; it emerges naturally from what the camera observes.

"Not One Less" succeeds because it trusts ordinary moments. The film's humanity comes from watching how people actually behave in cramped classrooms, dusty streets or crowded stations. Through these candid scenes, Zhang delivers a story about responsibility and persistence that feels honest and quietly powerful.

Captain America: Brave New World (3 Stars)

"Captain America: Brave New World" arrives with the weight of a legacy. The earlier entries in the series built a reputation for tight storytelling, grounded stakes, and a sharp blend of political tension and character-driven drama. This new chapter tries to continue that tradition; however, it never reaches the clarity or emotional power of its predecessors.

The story sets up promising themes about leadership and responsibility, yet it rarely develops them with the sharp focus seen in "The Winter Soldier" or the ideological heft of "Civil War". Those films thrived on conflict that felt urgent and personal. Here, the central conflict feels scattered; the narrative moves between subplots that compete for attention instead of supporting each other. The result is a film that feels busy rather than purposeful.

Anthony Mackie carries the shield with conviction. His performance is sincere and committed; his scenes that deal with the burden of legacy are among the film’s strongest. Yet the script never gives him the same depth or arc that Chris Evans enjoyed. Sam Wilson’s internal struggle feels stated rather than explored. The earlier films balanced action with intimate moments that defined Steve Rogers as a character; this entry misses that balance and leans heavily on exposition.

Action has always been a hallmark of the series; however, the set pieces here lack the precision that made sequences like the elevator fight in "The Winter Soldier" or the highway battle unforgettable. The choreography feels looser. The editing cuts too quickly to create impact. Instead of tension building through physical stakes, the film often relies on CGI that softens the grit that once set the franchise apart.

The supporting cast is solid, yet many characters feel underused. Motivations are introduced then set aside. Relationships that could deepen the emotional core remain at the surface. Earlier films used their ensembles to shape the story’s moral and political dimensions; this time the ensemble drifts around the edges.

Tonally, the film struggles to find its identity. It gestures toward political commentary yet rarely commits to a viewpoint. It hints at espionage yet never creates the paranoia that defined the franchise’s strongest moments. The film moves quickly, yet without the thematic weight that once made Captain America stories stand out in the broader MCU.

In the end, "Captain America: Brave New World" is serviceable entertainment with a committed lead performance and flashes of inspiration. It simply lacks the tight structure, grounded action and emotional clarity that made the earlier films some of Marvel’s best. The shield still shines; the story beneath it does not.

Success Rate:  + 0.3

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Barb Wire (5 Stars)

Barb Wire arrived in 1996 as a glossy, chaotic mix of cyber-noir, comic book grit and B-movie bravado; over time it has settled into the kind of film that finds its audience late at night, often with a grin. Its reputation as a cult film rests on two pillars: its shamelessly pulpy style and the strange balance between sincerity and camp that runs through every scene. The tone wavers between self-aware parody and straight-faced action. That unevenness has helped the film survive long after the initial critical backlash. People return to it because it is bold, messy and entirely itself.

Pamela Anderson carries the film with a combination of deadpan toughness and deliberate glamour. Yet the real anchor of the story is Udo Kier as Curly. His performance is a master class in the art of supporting presence; he never tries to overshadow Anderson, but he shapes the emotional rhythm of every scene he enters. Kier has a gift for playing characters who seem to know more than they reveal. As Curly, he offers quiet loyalty mixed with wry resignation. He treats the absurdity around him with total seriousness. This gives the film a strange kind of credibility; when Kier looks worried, the stakes feel higher, even when the plot borders on cartoon logic.

Kier also provides the film with its most grounded emotional thread. Curly cares for Barb in a way that never slips into cliché. Instead, his loyalty feels like something built on years of shared struggle. The scenes between them play smoother and more natural than the larger political storyline; they give the film its heart. Kier communicates entire histories with small gestures and micro-expressions. In a film driven by spectacle, this subtlety stands out.

As a cult film, Barb Wire thrives on its contradictions. It is a loose reworking of Casablanca, yet it hides that influence behind neon lights, leather and explosions. It aims for sleek futurism, yet it feels like a time capsule of nineties aesthetics. It wants to be serious, yet it is most memorable when it leans into excess. These tensions create a viewing experience that rewards audiences who enjoy cinema that refuses to behave.

Over the years, midnight screenings and fan discussions have reframed the film as an example of accidental brilliance; its mixture of sincerity and camp makes it endlessly rewatchable. The costumes, the overheated dialogue, the pulpy action and the bold production design all contribute to the sense of a film that invites both laughter and admiration. At the centre of this strange world stands Udo Kier, giving a performance that elevates the entire project.

Originally labelled as a flawed blockbuster, Barb Wire's standing as a cult film has grown over the years. It showcases the power of character actors who treat even the wildest material with full commitment; it proves that audacity and personality can keep a film alive long after its initial release.

Success Rate:  - 2.4

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Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2½ Stars)

When I saw this film in the cinema five years ago I said that a lot was happening, and I needed to watch it again to figure it all out. Finally, after five years, I've watched it again. Too much is happening in the film, way too much. The first film was a fairly simple story: at the end of World War Two the Nazi elite fled to the Moon to create a new kingdom, waiting for the right moment to return to Earth and conquer the world. The second film adds a fanatical cult, aliens who guided mankind for thousands of years, and dinosaurs who live at the centre of the world. Any one of those ideas would have made a fascinating film, but adding them all at once just clogs it down.

Udo Kier is dead. He passed away on Sunday, but it was only reported today. He was a magnificent actor, excelling in every role he played. He was also modest. A few years ago he said, "I've made 200 films. 100 of them are bad. 50 can only be enjoyed with a glass of wine. The other 50 are great". I wonder how he would rate "The Coming Race". I expect he would call it a bad film. All I can say is that no film was ever bad because of Udo. He was good in every role he played. The problem is the overall quality of the film, from the screenwriting to the directing. Udo Kier is an actor whose work I have always enjoyed, and he'll be sadly missed.

Success Rate:  - 49.2

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Black Creek (4 Stars)

When a ruthless gang slaughters a sheriff and his family, his sister Rose (Cynthia Rothrock) rides into Black Creek seeking vengeance. Her journey becomes a chain of violent confrontations; each fight exposes another layer of the gang’s cruelty. She brawls her way through saloons and abandoned outposts where close-quarters combat dominates and weapons are used more for brutality than precision. The film highlights raw fistfights, frantic shootouts and brutal knife work. Every clash is staged with a gritty sense of weight and exhaustion; each victory feels earned rather than stylish. Her final showdown with the gang’s leader is a long, punishing battle that tests her resolve and brings the story to its violent conclusion.

The Shadow's Edge (4 Stars)

This is the ninth film in the Stuttgart Weird Weekender Festival.

"The Shadow's Edge" is a high tech crime thriller. A gang breaks into a bank, but they don't steal any money. It's just a diversion to hide their real aim, stealing a notebook which contains a businessman's access codes for his crypto currency account. I admit that I was confused in the early scenes. I couln't understand what the gang was doing. It all happened too fast. What I did understand is that the gang's leader is a man known only as the Shadow. He's led many operations over the years, but his identity is still unknown.

The police call Wong Tak-chung (Jackie Chan) out of retirement, the only officer that they consider able to track down the Shadow. Wong and the Shadow respect one another, playing a high stakes cat and mouse game.

Fucktoys (2 Stars)

This is the fifth film in the Stuttgart Weird Weekender Festival.

Annapurna Sriram wrote, directed and played the lead role in this film. She plays a sex worker called AP. She's told by a psychic that there's a curse on her, and the curse can only be lifted if she sacrifices a young lamb. The ceremony will cost $1000. She's told that she has to perform the ceremony as soon as possible to prevent her death. She doesn't have the money, so she frantically tries to earn it by working as a dominatrix and being an escort at exclusive parties.

The description probably sounds like the sort of film I would enjoy, but it's not for me. There's a lot of sexuality, some nudity and repeated BDSM scenes, but the sex is unattractive and not at all arousing. Maybe it's accurate. Maybe this is the seedy side of the sex industry. I didn't enjoy the film.

Cielo (4 Stars)

This is the fourth film in the Stuttgart Weird Weekender Festival.

Santa is an eight-year-old Bolivian girl who can work miracles. She's empowered by a fish that lives in her stomach. She sets out on a journey to Heaven, which she considers to be located in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Brazil. Before she leaves she kills her mother, confident that she can resurrect her when she reaches her goal. On the way she's taken in by a travelling troupe of female wrestlers.

The film is intended to be spiritual, but there was a lot of laughter in the audience. Some of the scenes were too ridiculous to be taken seriously. The story isn't wrapped up at the end. There are unanswered questions that the viewer has to figure out for himself. The film's cinematography is breath-taking.

I fell in love with a Z-Grade Director in Brooklyn (4½ Stars)

This is the third film in the Stuttgart Weird Weekender Festival.

 

Shina is a highly successful actress in Japan who's going through a crisis. She doesn't enjoy her work any more. She thinks her roles are shallow and meaningless. To get away from it all, she goes on an extended holiday to America with her boyfriend. After an argument he dumps her, leaving her alone in New York without money and without her phone. Worse still, she can't speak a word of English.

She's taken in by Jack, a young man who's just been given a $1000 budget to make his first film. It's "Death vs Love", the story of a serial killer who's being haunted by his ex-girlfriend. Jack offers to let Shina stay with him, as long as she appears in his film. The ghost is the leading actress, but it's also a non-speaking role. Perfect for Shina!

The film follows the rules of romantic comedies. It's a wonderful film.

The Last Viking (4 Stars)

This is the first film in the Stuttgart Weird Weekender Festival.

Anker and Manfred grow up together after their mother dies and their father unexpectedly disappears. Manfred suffers from dissociative personality disorder. He thinks he's a Viking, and even dresses as a Viking when he goes to school. Anker looks after him to stop him being bullied.

As an adult, Anker takes part in a bank robbery. He knows that the police will catch him, so he entrusts his share of the money (two million dollars) to his brother. 15 years later he's released from prison, and Manfred's mental state has deteriorated further. He now thinks he's John Lennon, and he can no longer remember where he buried the cash, because he's become a different person. Anker is advised that the only way to cure Manfred is to convince him he really is John Lennon. There's another mental patient who believes he's Ringo Starr, and a third mental patient who believes he's Paul McCartney and George Harrison in one person, so Anker brings them together to reunite the Beatles.

The comedy in "The Last Viking" is ridiculous, but it works. It's a very good film.

Kick-Ass (5 Stars)

Kick-Ass – A Bloody Love Letter to Comic-Book Culture

Tone, Premise, and Subversion

Kick-Ass, directed by Matthew Vaughn and written by Vaughn and Jane Goldman, adapts the Mark Millar / John Romita Jr. comic in a way that both celebrates and satirizes superhero tropes. Rather than giving us gods or mutants, we get Dave Lizewski, an ordinary teenager obsessed with comics who decides, “Why don’t I become a real-life superhero?” That childlike, fanboy impulse is the film’s emotional core; Dave isn’t doing this because of a tragedy or responsibility, but because he’s enamoured with the fantasy.

This setup allows Vaughn to play both ways: he delivers gloriously over-the-top violence, but also underlines how absurd and dangerous it would actually be for a normal person to try to live in a comic book world. Critics have noted that the film doesn’t simply lift comic book characters into reality; it “rips out comic-book pages and pushes the real world inside the gleeful chaos” of pop-violence. 

Characters and Performances

Dave / Kick-Ass (Aaron Johnson): He’s likable, naïve and badly out of his depth, but Johnson gives him enough sincerity that we root for him. Vaughn and Goldman don’t make him a parody; he’s a genuine wish-fulfilment figure, but one who pays a heavy price for his idealism. 

Hit-Girl / Mindy (Chloe Grace Moretz): Arguably the show-stealer. Despite being an 11-year-old child, she’s a trained, ruthless killer, spouting profanity and executing her targets with lethal precision. Her performance is shocking, morally dissonant and deeply rooted in comic-book fantasy. She’s what happens when the pages come alive, but without editorial restraint.

Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage): A vigilante father with a clearly twisted philosophy, he’s reminiscent of Batman-ish figures, but not without his own emotional baggage. 

Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong) & Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse): They provide the criminal opposition, with Red Mist’s turn especially resonating in the film’s blending of comic-style melodrama and real-world danger. 

Violence, Ethics and the “Comic-Book Fantasy”

One of Kick-Ass’s most provocative aspects is its use of violence. It’s graphic, gleeful and unapologetically cartoonish, but it’s also grounded in a world that, for the main characters, is very real. While the violence feels stylized, the characters’ emotional stakes remain believable. 

This tension between fantasy and realism is central to the film’s commentary on comic book culture. On one hand, it’s a cathartic expression of fan-power fantasy: costumes, vigilante justice, “saving the innocent.” On the other hand, it doesn’t shy away from the darker side: what if real people got hurt, or worse? Kick-Ass scratches the itch that a lot of comic fans have – the dream of being a hero – but it also warns that the dream comes with real risk.

The film also taps into the modern, Internet-inflected superhero culture. Dave’s early vigilante efforts go viral, and his fame spreads online. This reflects how, in the real world, superhero fantasies and cosplay are deeply intertwined with social media and celebrity.

Impact and Legacy

Kick-Ass hasn’t just remained a cult favourite; it also helped pave the way for more irreverent, R-rated takes on the superhero genre. Its willingness to lean into adolescent boredom, fanaticism and violence resonates with fans who grew up loving comics but also craving a more adult, subversive spin.

In some ways, Kick-Ass is a paradox: it’s a celebration of the fun of comic books, but also a critique of their fantasy escapism. By putting “real people” into these absurd situations, it highlights both the joy and the danger of wanting to be more than human.

Importance of Comic-Book Culture in Kick-Ass

1. Inspiration vs. Reality: Dave’s journey begins because of his love for comics. This is not just surface-level, it’s his framework for understanding heroism. The film explores what happens when “comic-book logic” is applied to the real world.

2. Satire and Celebration: The film simultaneously pays homage to superhero violence and mocks it. It leans into gore, exaggerated fights and “superhero theatrics,” but never loses sight that these are real stakes for real (non-superpowered) people.

3. Vigilantism and Fan Fantasy: Kick-Ass taps into the fantasy many comic-book fans harbour: putting on a costume, righting wrongs, being a hero. But it also raises ethical questions about vigilantism: what is gained, and what is lost.

4. Internet & Meme Culture: By making Dave’s exploits go viral, the film mirrors how modern “heroes” might arise not from secret lairs but from YouTube, social media and viral videos. It’s a reflection on how comic-book culture intersects with 21st-century pop culture.

5. Subverting Traditional Superhero Morality: Unlike classic superheroes who often have strict “no killing” codes, Kick-Ass’s protagonists do kill. Hit-Girl especially embodies a darker, more pragmatic (or nihilistic) interpretation of superhero justice. Despite her young age, she's the most deadly character in the movie; she kills 42 men, more than the kill count of Kick-Ass (4 kills) and Big Daddy (23 kills) combined. This subversion is part of what makes the film feel more “for grown-up comic fans.”

Conclusion

Kick-Ass is a bold, audacious film that wears its comic-book influences on its sleeve; but it isn’t just fan service. It interrogates the fantasy of heroism by placing it in a gritty, often brutal real world. Through its characters (especially Hit-Girl), it asks: what does it mean to live out comic-book violence? What do we sacrifice when we chase that dream?

The high kill counts underscore that this isn’t a sanitized, family-friendly superhero story. It’s violent, morally complicated and deeply rooted in the darker corners of comic-book imagination. For fans of comics and cinema alike, Kick-Ass remains a provocative, unsettling and strangely cathartic ride.

Success Rate:  + 1.4

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The Iron Rose (5 Stars)

This is a film that I have to watch again and again. It's the best French film I know. I'm a big fan of Jean Rollin, but it's the only one of his films that has a place in my top 100 list. A problem that I have with my favourite films is that I have difficulty writing something new about them after repeated watching. Now I have a solution. I asked ChatGPT to write a review, and wow! It's full of praise for the film, as I expected, but it's also an eloquent document. Read it for yourself.

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The Iron Rose: A Poetic Descent into the Graveyard of the Self

Jean Rollin’s "The Iron Rose" stands apart even within his dream-soaked filmography. It is neither horror in the conventional sense nor romance in any predictable form. Instead, the film unfolds as a poem in images; a quiet, slow, and hypnotic meditation on death, identity, and the transformation that occurs when the boundaries between the living and the dead dissolve.

The Film’s Poetic Language

Rollin structures the film like a piece of free verse. Instead of plot-driven progression, the narrative circulates in loops, refrains, and echoes. Long takes drift through the graveyard like wandering lines of poetry. Dialogue is sparse and frequently metaphorical, often delivered with an incantatory tone that feels more written than spoken.

The pacing has the rhythm of a slow, dark lullaby. Rollin abandons conventional suspense and instead cultivates a mood of dreamlike inevitability. The imagery – faded tombstones, crumbling statuary, and the immense silence of the cemetery – creates a visual haiku: minimal, symbolic, and entirely dependent on atmosphere.

Even the lovers at the film’s centre are less characters than archetypes: the Man and the Woman, figures who move through the cemetery like allegorical presences. Their interactions acquire the abstraction of a poem about the eternal tension between Eros and Thanatos.

The Graveyard as a Symbolic Landscape

The cemetery setting is not mere backdrop but a symbolic field through which the film’s themes unfold. In Rollin’s hands, the graveyard becomes a liminal zone, a place where identity sheds its civilian clothes and the subconscious self emerges. Daylight scenes feel fragile and superficial; it’s only at night, when the couple becomes lost. that the real psychological descent begins.

The Woman’s growing attachment to the graveyard can be read as a spiritual awakening, a recognition of death’s beauty, certainty, and truth. For her, the graveyard is not morbid but authentic, a place of clarity where human pretensions fall away.

The Iron Rose: Symbolism and Meaning

At the centre of this symbolic landscape stands the film’s titular object: the Iron Rose.

Rollin uses the iron rose as a multi-layered symbol, its meanings shifting subtly throughout the film:

1. Permanence vs. Ephemerality

A traditional rose wilts and decays; an iron rose endures. The choice of iron is deliberate: it suggests a love, or a state of being, that aspires to transcend impermanence. In the context of the film, the iron rose represents the Woman’s movement toward the eternal, away from the transient world of the living.

In this sense, the iron rose mirrors the cemetery itself: made of stone, iron, and memory, a place that resists the decay it symbolises.

2. The Romanticisation of Death

The iron rose becomes a token of death elevated into beauty. Like Victorian mourning jewellery or graveyard flowers made of metal, it is both funereal and sentimental. Holding it marks the Woman’s surrender to death’s aesthetic power; its stillness, its certainty, its peace.

It is not a symbol of despair but of attraction.

3. The Fusion of Passion and Mortality

Roses are traditionally symbols of love, but iron carries connotations of coldness, weight, and inevitability. Their combination suggests the merging of erotic passion with death. This fusion is at the heart of Rollin’s film: the lovers make love in a crypt, and their intimacy becomes intertwined with the graveyard’s embrace.

The iron rose is the objectification of that union.

4. Identity Transformed

By the film’s end, the iron rose becomes a symbol of the Woman’s psychological transformation. What began as a romantic excursion shifts into a metaphysical claiming. When she walks away at dawn, barefoot and serene, clutching nothing but the iron rose, it signals her rebirth, not as a member of the living world but as a new inhabitant of the cemetery’s realm.

The rose is her new identity, forged in her acceptance of death’s truth.

Conclusion: A Film Made of Symbols and Silence

"The Iron Rose" is more dream than narrative, more poem than film. Its beauty lies in its stillness, its atmosphere, and its unwavering commitment to mood over action. For viewers willing to tune themselves to its quiet frequency, it becomes a haunting meditation on the allure of death and the thin, permeable line between the worlds of the living and the dead.

At the centre of that meditation stands the iron rose: a symbol of eternal love, of the seduction of death, and of the strange, potent poetry that arises when the human soul confronts the unknown and chooses to stay.

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The Running Man (4 Stars)

I admit it: Edgar Wright is one of my favourite directors. He's probably my favourite British director. I can't think of anyone who comes close. I have to watch every film he makes, whatever it's about, whether it's serious or a comedy.

This film is an adaptation of a Stephen King novel with the same name. I've heard it wrongly called a remake of the 1987 film called "The Running Man". No. A film can only be called a remake if it's based on another film. A good example is the long list of films based on Bram Stoker's "Dracula". However many films are made called "Dracula" (or "Nosferatu"), they're not remakes; they're all adaptations of the novel.

The film takes place in a dystopian future. Based on the technology used, it might be 20 years or less from now, but no date is named. That's clever. America has fallen apart. There's a new currency called the New Dollar. Poverty is greater than ever before. The only way out for the average citizen is to take part in a television game show. The top game show is the Running Man. The contestant has to stay alive for 30 days. There's a team of Hunters looking for him with shoot-to-kill instructions, but everyone in America is allowed to kill him if they recognise him in the street. God bless America! You might think it's easy – just hide in a hole for 30 days – but there are rules that prevent it. The contestant has to make a 10 minute video of himself every day and mail it (by letterbox) to the game show. This brings him out into the public, and the location of the letterbox used tells the Hunters where he is.

I enjoyed the film greatly, apart from some problems I had with the ending. I don't want to give away spoilers. Watch it yourself, and leave me a comment telling me what you think.

Kraven the Hunter (4 Stars)

Despite having given this film a 4 star rating eleven months ago, I could hardly remember anything about it. Strange. So I checked my review, and it didn't help at all, because it was spoiler-free. As it should have been for a new film. Seeing it today was like watching it for the first time.

Sergei Kravinoff (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is portrayed as a hero, even though the film posters had a tag line that suggested he would turn to evil: "Villains aren't born, they're made". The posters were probably designed before the film was completed by someone who had no idea what the plot would be. Not everyone in Hollywood is competent.

Sergei is shown as a boy growing up with a father who was a ruthless drug dealer. He's supposed to follow in his father's footsteps and take over the business, but his conscience prevents him. He doesn't want to become the same as his father. He runs away from home, leaving his younger brother Dimitri behind. This plagues him for years, and eventually leads him back to his family home.

The film's villain is the Alexei Sytsevitch, a crook who's a deceitful ally of Sergei's father. He's the super-villain known in Marvel Comics as the Rhino. Apart from a certain physical resemblance he doesn't have much in common with the comic book character. In the film he's an intelligent criminal, but in the comics he's a simple minded brute.

In the course of the film Dimitri develops into the Chameleon, one of Marvel's oldest villains.

Kraven is a hunter. It's not a matter of him being attacked by the Rhino or the other bad guys. He tracks them down. 

Aaron Taylor-Johnson puts on an excellent performance as Kraven. The film didn't deserve to be a box office flop. Put it down to Marvel Fatigue. Is there a way for Kraven to be adopted by the MCU? I hope so.

Success Rate:  - 1.8

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The Magic Christian (3 Stars)

I decided to watch this film after it was recommended by Fred Olen Ray. I knew very little about it in advance, except that it's considered a cult film. But still, I was shocked by the content, and not in a good way.

The film begins with a portrait of the Queen while the National Anthem is being played. Then the camera zooms out to show that the picture is a ten pound note. That was a lot of money in 1969. It's the equivalent of 1760 pounds today. The film's message is that people will do anything for money, but there's so much absurd humour that the message is often forgotten.

Sir Guy Grand (Peter Sellers) is a billionaire industrialist. He regrets not having an heir to his fortune, so he adopts a homeless man that he sees in the park (Ringo Starr). Surprisingly, Youngman (that's the man's name) easily fits in with the better social life.

Is this supposed to be London? It's a dank, gloomy town.

Father and son take a journey on a cruise ship, the Magic Christian.

There's a vampire on board.

Raquel Welch is cracking a whip, surrounded by dozens of topless women. It's only a short scene, worthy of a pause and repeat.

Roman Polanski has a cameo as a man sitting in the bar looking bored.

In fact, the film has so many cameos that you need a scorecard to keep up with them. There are famous actors like Richard Attenborough and Yul Brynner, as well as just about every British comedian of the 1960's.

But the film is a mess. I can't understand why it's called a cult film.

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Drunken Master (5 Stars)

This is a film I've avoided watching for years because the title seems so silly. How can a teacher of martial arts be drunk? It seems ridiculous. Last week I saw a short excerpt from the film in YouTube, and I thought to myself, "Wow! I need to buy it". And I did.

This is the master himself, known as Beggar So. A red nose, scruffy hair and bad teeth. I wouldn't sign up to his kung fu class. And yet he's a feared fighter. Men run away at the mere mention of his name.

Jackie Chan plays Wong Fei-hung, the son of a renowned martial arts teacher. He's a skilled but undisciplined fighter. After playing pranks on his cousin, his father banishes him from his school. He sends him to learn from Beggar So. So teaches the fighting style of the Eight Drunken Gods. This involves drinking wine during the combat and making movements that look like drunken staggering. Yes, it really is ridiculous, but it's a film that isn't meant to be taken seriously.

The God Lu, the drunkard with inner strength.

The God Li, the drunken cripple with the powerful right leg.

The God Jun, the drunkard holding a pot in his arms.

The God Lan, the drunkard with the sudden deadly waist attack.

The God Chan, the drunkard with the swift double kicks.

The God Tso, the drunkard with the powerful throat lock.

The God Han, the drunken flute player with powerful wrists.

The Goddess Miss Ho, the drunken woman flaunting her body.

These are the eight Gods. I'm curious whether the pictures are genuine historical records or just quick sketches made for the film. Can someone please translate the texts in the book, please?

Even though Jackie Chan had already made 43 films, some of them as the lead actor, this is the film that made him famous.

Deadpool & Wolverine (5 Stars)

I've finally bought "Deadpool & Wolverine" on Blu-Ray. It took a while. I had to wait until the price dropped to something I was willing to pay. Yes, I know it's on Disney Plus, but that's not good enough for me. I need to hold the shiny metal disc in my hand. It was the best film of 2024, so it deserves a special place in my collection.

This is what we've been waiting for since 2000. The real Wolverine!

The film features the return of Wunmi Mosaku as Hunter B-15. She needs a better name. Can I call her B for short? But whatever her name is, she gets my vote for Miss Multiverse 2025.

That's all I'm writing today. What? Are you complaining? Be honest... what would you rather have? A thousand dull words from me or a sexy action photo of Hunter B-15?

My case rests.

Success Rate:  + 4.7

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Next Goal Wins (4 Stars)

"Next Goal Wins" is a hilarious true film about Thomas Rongen, a Dutch coach who's sent to train the national team of American Samoa, which was ranked the weakest football team in the world. At the time he began his job, American Samoa had never scored a goal in international games. The qualifying games for the 2014 World Cup were about to begin, and he would be deemed a success if American Samoa managed to score at least one goal. Nobody seriously expected them to win a match.

The film shows Rongen being disheartened. The players are unfit and unmotivated. It's an uphill battle to get them to take their games seriously. To be fair, American Samoa is a country with less than 50,000 inhabitants, so the pool of available players was less than any amateur football team in a small European town.

Did they manage to score a goal? Watch the film yourself to find out.

Success Rate:  - 0.7

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Dracula: A Love Tale (4 Stars)

Last week I watched the new version of "Frankenstein" in the cinema. Today I saw a new version of Dracula, directed by Luc Besson. Is this nostalgia for the classic horror films or just moneymaking? I hope it's the former.

The film's full title is "Dracula: A Love Tale", but it's being marketed as "Dracula", as in the poster above. It's always been a love story rather than a horror story. It's one of the most tragic love stories ever told, about a prince who loses his soul when God allows his wife to die. He's cursed to live forever, eternally waiting for his wife to return to him by reincarnation.

Luc Besson takes a lot of liberties with the original source material. We see some of the characters from the book, such as Jonathan Harker and his fiancée Mina, but most of the supporting characters are missing. In particular, Abraham Van Helsing has been replaced by an unnamed priest. Instead of taking place in England, the present day scenes are set in Paris. 

Despite the changes, it's a good film. I didn't immediately like it, the way I enjoyed Guillermo Del Toro's "Frankenstein". I need to watch it again.

It's interesting that Christoph Waltz appeared in both films, "Frankenstein" and "Dracula". Is he being pushed as a modern day replacement for Peter Cushing? I can see a similarity between the two actors, not in their appearance but in their dignified styles.

Bugonia (5 Stars)

A young man called Teddy is convinced that aliens from the Andromeda galaxy have invaded the Earth, planning to either conquer or destroy it. He got the idea from a book. Together with his intellectually disabled cousin Donny he kidnaps the CEO of a pharmaceutical company, because he thinks she's a high ranking Andromedan. He shaves her head, because he believes she needs her hair to communicate with her mothership. Donny isn't convinced that his conspiracy theory is true, but he's simple minded and believes anything Teddy tells him.

It's a very strange film. When it started I didn't like it, because everything was so confusing, but it grew on me as the film progressed. It might even be one of my favourite films of 2025. Wait for my list next month.