Blutjunge Verführerinnen 2 (4 Stars)

This is Ingrid Steeger's fifth Swiss film, made in 1972. The title, which means "Underage Seducers 2", suggests that it's a sequel to "Blutjunge Verführerinnen", made a year earlier. This isn't the case. The first film was about schoolgirls seducing older men. In this film, which is divided into eight segments, the women are all older. Probably in their early twenties, judging by their appearance. Only one girl is still a schoolgirl, but she's described as an Arbiturient, which means she's in the 13th year of school, making her 18 or 19.

The film begins with a man ringing up an agency, asking for a temporary secretary. The woman arrives almost immediately. Women must be desperate for jobs in Switzerland. The man is Manfred Gregor, a film screenwriter, and he wants someone to type his latest script. There's a subtle detail here that casual viewers might miss. Erwin C. Dietrich was the screenwriter for this film, but he used the pseudonym Manfred Gregor. That means he's writing the film about himself, which becomes important in the later dialogue.

There follow eight vignettes, unrelated short stories that make up Manfred's screenplay. This is the typical style for the report films which were popular in the 1970's, but there are no claims to be reporting anything, and there's not even a thread to link the stories. Manfred just wants to write a film to entertain audiences. Fair enough.

1. Rosa is taking ski lessons in Switzerland. She attempts to seduce her instructor, but when she tells him she doesn't take the pill, he walks out on her. She takes the train back home, feeling frustrated. There's a man called Roland with her in the sleeping car. This time she doesn't mention not being on the pill, because he jumps on her at the slightest invitation. Roland, exhausted, goes to sleep. Isn't that what men always do after sex? Another man gets into the sleeping car later. He's also a ski instructor. Rosa has sex with him as well. I wonder what colour hair the baby will have. It could even be twins.

What's interesting is that there is frequent dialogue from Manfred and his secretary off screen, arguing about the screenplay. She tells him that he doesn't know how women think. This criticism is repeated in every vignette.

2. The second short story takes place in the Middle Ages. A knight called Dagobert leaves for war and locks his wife Kunigunde in a chastity belt. Unknown to him, Kunigunde has a spare key, so she invites her four lovers to have sex with her. We hear Manfred relating the story in voiceover (frequently interrupted by the secretary), but what we see on screen is a girl called Nelly in a bowling alley with four friends. Her bowling is awful, so she gives up and retires to the changing room. One after another, the four friends take a break and have sex in the changing room, returning as if nothing has happened.

That's an interesting way of making a film, showing one story while narrating another, but one thing spoils this vignette: Nelly looks so unhappy while having sex. I don't think this was part of the film, it looks as if the actress (Melitta Tegeler) just wasn't enjoying it. She's pushing the men away while they were pretending to have sex. "This is only softcore, I wish they would stop getting so excited. I want to collect my cheque and go home".

3. Herbert spends every night at home watching silent movies. The only other thing he does is spy on his neighbour Anja who lives in the next apartment. There's a small hole in the wall, and he can see her bedroom. Unknown to him, Anja knows about the hole, so she makes a noise whenever she goes to bed, then undresses seductively. This is an amateur peepshow! One evening she's had enough. She sneaks into his room naked and spreads herself out on the sofa. Herbert can't resist her, but he's not particularly good at sex. He was a virgin. Anja mocks him because he spends all his time watching girls in films and naked girls next door, but he isn't man enough to pick up a girl for sex.

In voiceover, the secretary tells Manfred that this is just like him; Manfred makes films with naked women, but he doesn't know how to have sex in real life. Manfred grudgingly agrees, although he doesn't admit to being a virgin.

4. Babette is the only schoolgirl in the film, albeit an older schoolgirl. She's still a virgin, but she lies in bed at night masturbating to a poster of Elvis Presley on one wall and Bridgette Bardot on the opposite wall. She keeps turning her head from one side to the other as she gets more excited. This looks silly, and the secretary agrees with me. She goes on a school trip, and she's seduced by Sebastian, the best looking boy in her class. In the bus on the way home Sebastian ignores her. He sets next to his girlfriend Gerda, telling her she's the only one he loves.

That's the end of the story. No message to sum up, not even suggested. The secretary doesn't approve. Neither do I.

5. A young countess goes to the cinema, pretending to watch the film, but actually looking for a man for sex. A murderer goes to the cinema, pretending to watch a film, but actually looking for his next victim. They go to see a film and sit next to one another. The film is about a murderer killing a countess on the beach. The two people leave their seats and go to a back room to have sex. This scene isn't completed. Manfred says that she's going to die, but the secretary insists that no woman would be stupid enough to go into a back room with a killer. She refuses to type such rubbish, so the scene is cut short.

6. This is a strange, almost psychedelic vignette. A married couple are sitting in bed. The man is reading a news report about two people who were found dead in their apartment. The woman says that she isn't interested, but she's actually fantasising about the two people. So is her husband. She's having sex with the man, he's having sex with the woman. We see couples in bed, but they morph into one another, so we never know who's really having sex. The picture in the fantasies is in red tones. Very strange.

7. A lorry driver delivering goods to Hamburg picks up a hitchhiker called Eva in Darmstadt. Do you recognise her with her black wig? She's Christa Free, who we know from "The Devil in Miss Jonas". Eva wants to seduce the two drivers, but Günther (on the wheel) and Fritz (on the left) are in a hurry, so they take turns at driving while the other one is having sex. They have sex, alternately, the whole way from Darmstadt to Hamburg. That's an eight hour journey. Lorry drivers must have a lot of stamina.

Needless to say, the secretary doesn't approve of this story.

8. Manfred has saved the best till last. Finally we see Ingrid Steeger as an au pair girl in Berlin. She's waiting at home, babysitting the 16-year-old son while his parents are at the opera. They come home, and the wife goes to bed. Ingrid and the father are lovers, so they have sex on the floor. The mother interrupts them and angrily sends the father to bed. Ingrid seduces the mother, the first lesbian action in the film. The son walks in, and shouts "Mother, this is disgusting!" Those were the good old days when homosexuality was considered a sin. Maybe it still is, in some circles. The mother runs out in shame. The boy jumps on Ingrid to have sex. Wow! She eats her way through the whole family!

The End? Not quite.

The screenplay is finished, but the secretary still has plans before she goes home. Despite all her complaints that the stories are unrealistic, hearing them has excited her, so she rips off her clothes and seduces the inexperienced Manfred Gregor.

This is an uncoordinated film with vignettes that are too short, but it's somehow appealing. It's better than the first film in the series.

General: Top Films of 2020

This is my personal list of the 10 best films of the year. As I remind you each year, to qualify for inclusion in the list I must have seen the film in the cinema during the year. As you know, this has been a difficult year for cinemas, especially Germany. Because of the Coronavirus, cinemas were closed from March to June, and from November to December. Even when cinemas where allowed to open, from mid June till the end of October, some chose to stay shut voluntarily, while others only showed old films. The reason is that the Coronavirus has stopped film production. Not so many blockbusters were made, so the cinemas were expecting to lose money if they only showed small budget films for the rest of the year. Older films, classics like "Casablanca" and "Citizen Kane", were a desperate attempt to coax audiences into the cinema.

Normally I watch more than a hundred films in the cinema each year. This year I only watched 25, the smallest number since 2013. Of these films only 23 qualify for the list, because I watched two of the films twice. This warps my list, because every film I watched had almost a 50% chance of making the top 10.

1. Jojo Rabbit

A comedy about a young boy who has Hitler as his imaginary friend. This isn't an anti-war or anti-Nazi film, it's pure comedy.

2. 1917

A surprisingly good film about a rescue operation in the First World War. Maybe I shouldn't say surprisingly, because Sam Mendes is a very good director, but it's surprising that it appealed to me.

3. Judy

The true story of Judy Garland, told in flashbacks looking back from 1968, when she was bankrupt. I've always had a weakness for true stories.

4. Guns Akimbo

Daniel Radcliffe delivers a supreme performance as an online troll who's forced to fight for his life.

5. The Gentlemen

Guy Ritchie returns to form with a new gangster film. Almost.

6. Tenet

Chris Nolan's long awaited film about a world where technology makes it possible to live backwards while those around you are living forwards. It's a film that needs to be watched more than once. It's possible that I'll rate it higher after seeing it again.

7. A Hidden Life

The true story of Franz Jägerstätter, an Austrian who was executed in 1943 for defying Hitler.

8. Midsommar

A slow bubbling horror film. I don't consider the story itself very good, but it's visually one of the most beautiful films I've ever seen.

9. When Hitler stole the pink rabbit

This is the true story of the childhood of the children's book author Judith Kerr, from 1933 to 1935. That makes three films with true stories in my list. I told you I like true stories!

10. New Mutants

This is the only Marvel film in my list this year. The New Mutants are a group of super-heroes, originally launched as a spin-off of the X-Men. The film is good, but not great. In a normal year it wouldn't have made it into my top ten.

---

So that's my list for this year. I welcome comments from my friends, as well as your own top 10 lists. Cinemas are planned to reopen in mid January, but I'm not holding my breath.

The Angry Guest (4 Stars)

This film, made by Shaw Brothers in a 1972, is a direct sequel to "Duel of Fists". I didn't realise this until the film started and a recap of the first film was given during the opening credits. "I've seen all this before. What film was it? Ah, I've got it!"

The same characters appear in both films, but the subtitles are inconsistent. The English transliteration is different. Fan Chu in the first film has become Fan Ko, Wenlie in the first film has become Wen Lieh. That's just a minor annoyance. For the sake of consistency I'll use the transliterated versions from "Duel of Fists".

Wenlie has now relocated to Hong Kong, where he runs a martial arts school. The gangster Qiangren escapes from prison in Thailand, kills Wenlie's mother and kidnaps his girlfriend, Hu Yulan. It seems strange that Wenlie should have left his girlfriend behind, but never mind. Fan Ko and Wenlie travel to Bangkok to find Hu Yulan.

In the meantime, the organisation's big boss, Yamaguchi, has come to Bangkok from Tokyo to run operations himself, because he no longer trusts Qiangren. Yamaguchi is played by the film's director, Chang Cheh. He greets the two brothers and tells them he wants them to run his operations in Bangkok. He only wanted to hold Hu Yulan as an encouragement, it was never his wish to kill Wenlie's mother. He gives them 24 hours to think his offer over. To stop them trying to free Hu Yulan, he's sent her to Tokyo.

The distance is no hindrance. Fan Chu and Wenlie fly to Tokyo and free Hu Yulan. They take her back to Hong Kong. Yamaguchi is furious and sends a team of his best fighters to kill them. The battle begins.

"The Angry Guest" has a different style to "Duel of Fists". The music is loud and gaudy, like a 1960's spy story. This jarred at first, but I got used to it. I'm glad to say that the fighting is a lot more realistic, including David Chiang. Whatever criticism I made of him in the last film no longer applies. The film ends with a thrilling battle on a construction site, as shown in the lobby card above. Bulldozers roll around, men climb cranes, and the fists are flying. Excellent!

There's one thing I'm curious about. The German edition of the film is called "Zehn gelbe Fäuste für die Rache", i.e. "Ten yellow fists for revenge". If I can count properly, Fan Chu and Wenlie only have four fists between them.

Der Hauptmann (4½ Stars)

This is a war film that I think everyone should see. It's different from every other film I've seen about World War Two. It tells the true story of Willi Herold, a teenager who became one of Germany's most notorious war criminals. In the last two weeks before the German surrender he managed to kill more than 200 people, most of them German soldiers.

Willi Herold was a deserter, facing execution in North Germany. While fleeing he found an abandoned vehicle containing a captain's uniform. He put on the uniform and recruited men to serve him, most of them deserters who were glad that he didn't shoot them for treason. From there he went to a prison camp for deserters and executed almost all of the prisoners.

After the camp was destroyed in an air raid, he travelled to the nearest town, which had already hung up banners to welcome the British soldiers. He reacted by shooting the mayor and setting up a court in the town's largest hotel to execute those he considered guilty of treason.

This is a chilling film, shockingly showing how a young man could be so evil. Or was he really evil? He lived in a mixed up world where everyone did what he had to do to survive. He was a deserter who sought to redeem himself by punishing other deserters. What would a psychiatrist say about that? He was a fascinating man, and it's difficult not to feel sympathy for him. He was sentenced to death and beheaded at the age of 21.

The film is available on disc in English, called "The Captain".

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de

Have Sword, Will Travel (4 Stars)

This Chinese film, made in 1969, starts out like a love story. A young couple are out walking. The man offers the woman a flower and askes her to marry him. She pins the flower to a tree, gives him a dagger and tells him that if he can hit the flower with the dagger she'll marry him. Beautiful. Then they're interrupted by a gang of robbers. He fights with them, cutting them down with his sword, while still proclaiming his love. He throws the dagger in the middle of the fight and hits the flower. After killing a few more men, they walk away together.

The man is Siang Jin, the son of Lord In, the leader of the Invincible City. The woman is Yun Piao Piao, the niece of a famous kung fu master. On the way back to the Invincible City they meet a lone rider called Yi Lo. Siang doesn't trust him and attacks him, but Yi Lo's skills are too great. He defends himself, but he's careful not to injure Siang. Piao Piao says this proves Yi Lo is a good man, but Siang isn't convinced.

Once a year Lord In transports 200,000 newly minted silver coins to the nearby city Loyong. Nobody dares attack the transport, because Lord In is a legendary sword fighter. However, he's lost his fighting skills due to illness. Despite attempts to keep it secret, others suspect the truth. The Flying Tiger Stockade gang wants to steal silver this year.

Yi Lo presents himself in the Invincible City, asking for a place to sleep. Siang still doesn't trust him, and there's another fight. Lord In orders the fight to stop, and he welcomes the stranger as a guest. Piao Piao begins to have romantic feelings for Yi Lo. He doesn't know that she's already engaged, so he returns her feelings, in words if not in deeds. It's all very laid back; the two look at one another with amorous gazes, but they don't even hold hands. It's still enough to make Siang jealous.

When Yi Lo discovers Lord In's weakness, he volunteers to accompany the transport. Siang says his help isn't needed, but Yi Lo comes anyway. The Flying Tiger Stockade attacks, and it becomes obvious that Yi Lo's help is essential.

The fighting is called kung fu, but there is no fist fighting or kicking. It's all about sword fights. Even Piao Piao is a skilled swordfighter. The battles are well choreographed, and they look totally realistic. This is the oldest Shaw Brothers film I've seen, and it's excellent. Even though the film's pacing is slow, the film is thrilling, and the love triangle makes it all the more poignant.

Wenn Mädchen mündig werden (3 Stars)

The title of this German film, made in 1973, means "When girls come of age". That title has nothing to do with the film's content, except maybe a 20-minute segment in the middle of the film. It was released in English with the title "Secrets in the Dark", which is only slightly more relevant.

I'm a big fan of the Bavarian erotic comedies of the 1970's, but this is one of the weaker films. A serious film critic would probably tear it apart as trash, but I'm biased. It stars Ulrike Butz, probably the most beautiful German actress of all time. Any film that shows her delicious naked body deserves 3 stars at least. Nevertheless, the film is very disjointed. The humour is weak, and there seems to be a message, but it's never quite clear what it is.

The film begins with six Bavarians sitting drinking at the Stammtisch in a bar. This is a scene that can be seen in any other area of Germany. There's no talk of moderation. When Josef Leutner (on the left) says that he wants to leave, the waitress says, "You can't go already. You've only had six beers".

One of the men is a private detective. He tells the others about a female customer who seduced him in his office. "Fine", I thought to myself, "now we're going to hear six stories from the men, in typical report film fashion". I was wrong. This was the only story told in the film.

One of the men (the one whose face is blocked by Josef) is the sport teacher in a girls school. The other men express their jealousy, and they ask if they can be introduced to the girls. They're willing to pay anything. Uh oh... The teacher says he'll do whatever he can.

Josef goes to the toilet. On the way he passes the kitchen and sees the cook on her knees scrubbing the floor, without underwear. He can't control himself. He rushes in and rips her clothes off. He can't use his six beers as an excuse. He's the sort of man who would do it anyway. Luckily the landlord arrives and throws him out. I think he deserved a beating.

It's a tempting sight, but there's no excuse for attempted rape. None whatsoever. A true gentleman would quickly walk away. I'm only a half gentleman. I wouldn't attempt to touch the woman, but I wouldn't walk away either. I'd stand staring like a fool.

The next 40 minutes of the film are about Josef, his family and his business associates. He runs a pet boarding facility. It's somewhere people can leave their pets while they go on holiday. He's played by Josef Moosholzer, the best known actor in the 1970's Bavarian erotic comedies. I've seen him in several films lately, and I've grown to appreciate him as an actor. He was a fat little Bavarian, always the butt of jokes. In the 1980's he lost weight and turned to serious acting, mostly in murder mysteries, until his death in 2004.

After being thrown out of the bar, he goes to the local brothel (Puff). First they mock him for his height and weight, then the girls ask for money, but he only has a handful of coins. Josef should know that any man who doesn't have good looks needs a fat wallet to compensate. So off he goes home, and his wife is in bed with Stefan, one of his employees. I have no sympathy with Josef. It's karma for attempting rape.

The next day we see Stefan taking his girlfriend Petra on a date... and Petra is played by Ulrike Butz! Is Stefan insane? Why's he messing around with married women when he has a girlfriend like that? Maybe he's also the victim of karma. Petra takes him to have sex in her attic, and he gets his penis stuck in a mousetrap. It's so tight that he can't open it. Ouch! That's not funny. Petra is laughing her head off, but no man can laugh at something like that. It just gives me a sick feeling in my stomach.

Surprise, surprise... Josef has success with the ladies after all. He has sex with one of his customers in the back of his truck, which has an animal cage at the back. His wife locks them in, and his employee Leopold drives the truck to the car wash, where they're both soaked.

That's the first 45 minutes, and then wham! A completely unrelated scene comes. Three young women want to become actresses, so they go to a film studio and seduce the producer. That's random.

Then we see a couple having sex in the woods. Random again, totally unrelated to the first half of the film. Another couple come to the woods, but the first couple is in their regular spot, and the man is unable to perform anywhere else. Weird.

Finally we return to the sport teacher, almost forgotten since being seen briefly at the beginning of the film. That's one of his lessons, honestly! He's teaching the girls how to do massage. I wish I were a sport teacher. He asks them if they want to earn some money by meeting his friends. Uh oh, again. The three men (shown above at the Stammtisch) meet them in the woods. I'm happy to say that it doesn't turn out the way they expected.

The first man is too fat to get out of the car. The girl runs away, leaving him frustrated.

The second girl rides on the next man's back until he's too exhausted to do anything.

The third girl takes the last man home and pulls 500 Mark (250 Euros) out of his wallet. That was a lot of money in 1973, but he doesn't complain. Before they can do anything, the girl's parents arrive.

Next we return to Stefan and Petra. I told you, the film is all over the place.

Finally we see two of the Stammtisch friends walking home at night. They visit the brothel, but they're thrown out because they're drunk and disorderly. The two men get revenge by setting the brothel on fire. Naked men and women run out in panic. The end.

This is a badly structured film. It's chaos. It would have been much better if it had just been about Josef. But at least it has Ulrike Butz.

The Shaolin Rescuers (3 Stars)

The film begins with a surreal fight against a red background. A Shaolin temple has been invaded by the members of the Wudang Clan. The Shaolin monks are slaughtered brutally. Only one of them, Hong Xiguan, escapes, heavily injured. He takes refuge in a martial arts school, but they betray him to the Wudang Clan, and he has to flee again. He meets up with his friend Qi Bao, a circus acrobat. 

This is a serious beginning, but after this the film degenerates into slapstick. Yang is a tofu maker who practises the Mantis fighting style. Chen is a waiter in a restaurant who practises the Black Tiger Clan style. They dream of being famous heroes. The Black Tiger Clan style involves fighting with chopsticks and a rice bowl. No comment. They rescue a young man called Chu who has been thrown out of a fighting school for disrespecting his master. That's something a martial arts student should never, never do!

The three men, Yang, Chen and Chu, meet Hung and Qi and help them take revenge.

The fights are absolutely ridiculous, the exact opposite of the realistic fights in "The Rebel Intruders". It's not just the fights with chopsticks and rice bowls. The fights with real weapons look like a well synchronised ballet, not like real fights. For instance, when a sword fighter is attacking, it's obvious that he's deliberately missing his opponents. I'm sure the swords used as props aren't sharp, but they'd still hurt if he hit his fellow actors. And then the deadliest member of the Wudang Clan is Gao Jinzhong, who strangles his opponents with his braided hair. Somehow I don't think that it's a very efficient way to fight.

In another scene the good guys interrupt the Wudang Clan while they're having a meal. They're so impressed by the quality of the food that they keep grabbing food in between punches. It's hilarious, and I don't say that in a good way.

Is there any reason they should be fighting on the top of wooden poles? But what makes the film even worse is its uneven style. In the middle of the fights, people die suddenly and painfully. This doesn't match the comical fights. Isn't the raid on a Shaolin temple something to be taken seriously?

I almost gave the film a 2 Star (poor) rating, but it was saved by the final 15 minute fight scene. It was finally a realistic fight, no laughs, and it even looked like a fight. The whole film should have been like this.

Babs (5 Stars)

Florence Keen is Barbara Windsor.

Honor Kneafsey is Barbara Windsor.

Jaime Winstone is Barbara Windsor.

Samantha Spiro is Barbara Windsor.

Barbara Windsor is Barbara Windsor.

Yesterday I received the film "Babs" on DVD, just in time for Christmas. I wish I could have watched it immediately after Barbara Windsor's death on 10th December, but it's better late than never. This TV film was made in 2017, but set in 1993, when her career was rock bottom. She had to sleep on a wooden floor in a pier, because she didn't have enough money for a hotel. That was scandalous for an actress of her stature. The only one with her is her husband Scott Mitchell, who was 26 years younger than her. She calls him her toyboy, but he was the first good man in her life. And she had a lot of men. The film shows only a few of them.

While Scott leaves to buy her some fish and chips she reflects on her life and what went wrong. There are four actresses who play Barbara Windsor: Florence Keen (age 6), Honor Kneafsey (age 13), Jaime Winstone (age 22 to 35) and Samantha Spiro (age 56). In addition, the real Barbara Windsor, aged 79, appears in a few scenes.

What makes this film so good as a biopic is the way it's told. Barbara's father appears to her the way he looked when she was a child, and he accompanies her through the past, commenting on her memories, sometimes arguing with her.

Here we see 56-year-old Barbara watching herself when she was in her mid twenties. This mixture of timelines is what makes the film a masterpiece. When the 25-ish Barbara sits crying, 56-year-old Barbara takes her in her arms to comfort her. Sometimes the interaction is even more complex. When 25-ish Barbara is sitting in a cafe arguing with her husband, 56-year-old Barbara's father is saying that it's all her own fault. 25-ish Barbara turns to them to contradict what they're saying, but she's distracted when she sees 79-year-old Barbara sitting in silence by the wall.

So what went wrong in Barbara's life? The answer is clear: it was her father. He was a kind and loving father, but he got on badly with her mother. He swore at her, and he sometimes hit her. Barbara loved her father and took his side in the arguments. The crisis came when she was 13. She testified in court against her father in the divorce proceedings, and he was so disappointed that he walked out of her life. He refused to see her for the next 10 years. This broke her heart, and it's possibly the reason why she spent her life falling for bad men.

After playing a few minor film roles, she joined Joan Littlewood's theatre group. After appearing on stage in several plays and musicals, she was highly praised by critics. Joan told her that she had great talent and shouldn't waste her time with trashy comedies. Barbara didn't listen to her, and she became a regular in the Carry On films. Those trashy comedies were amazing works of art, and they made Barbara famous for the films she appeared in from 1964 to 1974. Even though she only appeared in nine of 29 Carry On films, she's the first person most people name when talking about the film series. (Some people say there were 31 films, but I don't include two of them).

That's where the film stops. We see nothing of her return to fame in 1994 as a regular actress in "Eastenders". Her success on television eclipsed her fame in the Carry On films. She played the part of Peggy Mitchell until Peggy died of cancer in 2016. Later in the year Barbara Windsor was knighted. That was a crowning award for her long career.

Dame Barbara Windsor
6 August 1937 – 10 December 2020

Farewell to a wonderful, elegant lady who spent most of her acting career pretending to be crude.

The Rebel Intruders (4½ Stars)

I almost gave this film five stars. It has the best kung fu action (i.e. realistic kung fu) of any film I've seen. All the fighters are highly skilled, both the good guys and the bad guys. The reason that I've deducted half a star is because the action is confused by having too many characters. Fighters are introduced, some late in the film, and their names are announced on the screen, but there are so many of them that I can't possibly remember all their names. I didn't count them, but there must be at least 15, maybe 20 named fighters. In their favour, they're all have excellent skills.

There's another problem, a problem with the packaging of the film. not the film itself. The film offers a selection between German dubbing and the original Chinese dialogue with English subtitles. I picked the latter version of course. I wasn't able to figure out when the film took place in Chinese history. After finishing the film I rewatched the opening scene in German. Ah ha! At the beginning there's text on the screen which isn't translated in the subtitles, but in the dubbed version there's a voiceover explaining the historical background. Now it's all clear.

The film takes place in the early 17th Century, towards the end of the Ming Dynasty. Law and order has broken down. Various generals have conquered provinces, setting themselves up as local dictators. They're fighting against one another to extend their territory. The town of Hsuchin is ruled by the benevolent leader Cheng. The cruel General Lin (who we don't see in the film) is advancing. Cheng has appointed four commanders to defend the town. Lin has sent a message to Commander Teng, promising him wealth and power if he lets him into the town.

The town is full of refugees, fleeing from the fighting in the North. Cheng might be benevolent, but his soldiers don't trust the refugees and attack them at the slightest provocation. The refugees are considered to be criminals. Things haven't changed much since then.

Most of the refugees have to sleep on the street, but three young men are more fortunate. They're all highly skilled fighters. One is hired as the doorman of a whore house. One is hired as a security guard in a casino. One is hired to train Commander Teng's soldiers. A brawl breaks out in the casino, and the three men get to know one another. They become blood brothers.

Teng murders Cheng in the whore house. The only witnesses are the three friends, so they're framed for the murder. They have to fight their way through the town.

The fight scenes are dazzling, even though they're not as exaggerated as many other martial arts films. The different army groups in the town have different fighting styles: spear, sword and bare fists, which means a lot of variation in the fights. I can highly recommend this film.

Wine: Nunc Est Bibendum Trollinger-Lemberger

This is the third Nunc Est Nibendum wine that I've bought after the Riesling and the Schwarzriesling. As far as I know, these are the only three wines sold using this label. Trollinger and Lemberger are the two most commonly mixed grapes in Württemberg. They have contrasting tastes that complement one another deliciously.

This is a wine with a very heavy taste, the opposite of the light taste of the Schwarzriesling. It's also heavier than the Eberbach-Schäfer Trollinger-Lemberger, which is the only mix of these grapes that I've drunk recently. (Yes, I know it's been more than a year since I wrote about it, but I've often drunk the wine since then).

I don't know why this wine is heavier than the mixture from other vineyards, but I don't like it. I've never been a fan of heavy red wines. It's possible that I'll drink the other Nunc Est Bibendum wines again, but not this one. Let's see if I change my mind after finishing the bottle over the next few days.

Today is the winter solstice, the shortest day and longest night of the year. It's also the darkest day, so here's something to make you think of summer.

These aren't just four random Japanese girls in a pool, they're the J-Pop girl group AeLL, who made two albums during their brief existence from 2011 to 2014. They were a theme group whose songs were about protecting the environment. Most importantly, one of their members was Ai Shinozaki. For the unvitiated among my readers, she's the third from the left, the girl in the light blue bikini with pink and white dots. Here are a few more photos from the same photo session:

Ai Shinozaki is at the back in the group photos. This is her modesty at work. She doesn't want to dominate the photos as the most beautiful girl in the group.

Wine: Lehrensteinsfelder Salzberg Riesling

When I lived in Germany in the 1990's this was my favourite wine. It's true that I prefer red wines, but this one wine was so excellent that I always ordered it in restaurants with a meal. It's a commonly available wine, so I could buy it almost everywhere. It was known by the nickname LSD. That's appropriate. The wine has an addictive taste.

The vineyard in Lehrensteinsfelder Salzberg actually produces a few red wines, but they're in such a small quantity that they're hardly seen outside their local area. They're only known for their Riesling. When someone orders a Lehrensteinfelder or an LSD, it's obvious he wants the Riesling.

It's been a few years since I last drank a glass of LSD, but when I tasted it today it was immediately obvious why it used to be my favourite wine. It's a dry Riesling, but it has an overpowering fruity taste. It tastes sweet without being sweet, if that makes sense. I'm already determined to buy it more often. It's a remarkable wine. Drink it with a meal or by itself, you won't be disappointed. Next time you're in Stuttgart, order an LSD. It'll make you forget your prejudices against German wines after drinking the rubbish that's exported to England.

Lords of Chaos (4½ Stars)

Why do the beautiful die young? The guitarist Oystein Aarsteth was only 25 years when he was murdered by his former bandmate Varg Vikernes. He was a brilliant musician, taken from our world too soon. He claimed to be a Satanist, but the film shows him as someone who just went along with it because it was expected of him in the death metal genre. Varg was a true Satanist, and Oystein didn't want to stand in his shadow. The older he got, the more doubts Oystein had.

He's gone, but his music lives on forever.

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de

Timecrimes (5 Stars)

I expect my regular readers will blink when they see this review. Didn't I watch "Timecrmes" two weeks ago? Yes, I did. A film this good has to be watched repeatedly, even if I have a stack of other films waiting to be watched.

Today is the fourth time I've watched the film, and I've finally understood something that wasn't clear to me the last three times. Maybe some of my readers will laugh at me, because they immediately understood the things that took me four viewings. I need to give away spoilers to explain my problems understanding, so if you don't want spoilers please stop reading now.

Still here? Don't say I didn't warn you.

What I thought was strange the first time I watched the film was the way Hector tricked fate. His wife died, so he went back in time and stopped his wife dying. He cheated fate. He pretended his wife had died, so she didn't die. That was actually closer that what I understood the second time round: I thought that Hector's wife didn't die, he just thought that she died. Both interpretations were wrong.

What confused me was the necessity of causality. I thought that Hector was forced to repeat his actions when he went into the past. That's neither completely wrong nor completely right. There's a pull on Hector to make him repeat himself. Some of his actions, like making the unnamed hairdresser get undressed, were deliberate attempts to repeat actions, but others, like his phone call, were accidental. His deliberate acts combined with his accidental acts to make him repeat himself. That's what I thought happened when his wife died. But I was wrong.

Hector had the power to deliberately change his actions. He could fight against causality. His wife died, so he was able to change the past and stop her dying. However, if she hadn't died, he wouldn't have gone back in time to stop her dying, so she would have died. You can see the problem. It wasn't a matter of tricking fate, he was tricking himself. He saved his wife, but he made it look like she died, to make his past self want to go back in time and save her. Only his present self knows that she didn't die.

So that's it. That's what I finally understood today. I hope my readers who've watched the film understand it as well. I hope they understood it faster than me.

Success Rate:  - 4.6

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de