Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (4½ Stars)

This is the fourth film in the reboot of the Planet of the Apes franchise. It takes place many generations after the events of "War for the Planet of the Apes". According to the director, it's 200 years later, but that isn't obvious from the film itself. Humans are rarely seen, because the apes kill them on sight. The apes have now separated into different tribes. We see a tribe that calls itself the eagle tribe, because they train eagles as partners. The young ape Noah is the son of his tribe's leader. Together with two friends they climb to eagle nests to steal eggs, one each, for a ceremony called the bonding. This seems to be a coming of age ceremony. Each ape must find an egg, and when the eagle is born it becomes his own personal eagle.

There isn't peace among the apes. Another tribe is warlike and intends to conquer all other tribes to unite them. Most of the eagle tribe is captured and led away as prisoners. Only Noah escapes. He sets out to find his tribe and free his father. On the way he meets an orangutan called Raka and a lone woman called Nova. Where does she come from? When he finds out that she can speak, he realises that she's keeping secrets.

This film is slower moving than the previous films. Yes, there are scenes of violence, but mostly the film is thoughtful, showing the consequences of the new world and how the apes are managing to deal with it now that Caesar has gone. It's difficult for me to judge the film, because it's so different. It's a film I need to watch again as soon as possible.

The Garfield Movie (4 Stars)

Does this film fall into the category of a delayed sequel? The first five Garfield films were made from 2004 to 2009. Now there's a sixth film after a 15 year delay. Usually that's the sign of a poor movie, but I can't really judge, since I've never watched the first give films. Apart from that, I was impressed by the film I saw today. The children in the audience were laughing, and I was laughing as well.

The story's premise is that Garfield finally meets his father Vic after years of separation. But who's his mother? We meet Vic's ex-girlfriend, an evil Persian cat called Jinx, but it's never suggested that she's his mother. Maybe, maybe not. Garfield and Vic are sent on an (admittedly over-complicated) mission to get milk from a dairy. Don't worry that so much of the film doesn't make sense. The animated slapstick humour makes up for it.

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (4 Stars)

There's been a lot of talk about "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey". Apart from the disgust about a popular children's character being used for a horror film after the copyright expired, there was a general consensus that it was a bad film. That made me curious. I wanted to see it, but it wasn't shown in the cinemas. But now, a year later, there's a sequel. I rushed to the cinema expecting the film to be bad, or at least so-bad-it's good, but guess what? As the film progressed, I was surprised how good it is. There's a lot of gore, but it was well filmed, and the overall impression was that it was a good film.

When I got home I read reviews, and I saw what had happened. The critics agree with one another that the sequel is much better than the original. The first film was made on a shoestring budget of $50,000. It was successful enough to justify investing over a million dollars in the sequel.

I need to see the first film, not just to find out if it really is so bad, but also to see the background of the second film. It's a direct continuation from the first film, without introducing the characters. It's not fair of me to give a full review because I might be giving spoilers. What I mean is, things are said in the film, and I don't know whether they're new or things that were revealed in the first film. It's best that I don't say anything. Except that it's a film worth seeing.

Wine: Schmalzried Muskat-Trollinger

People who have read my wine reviews may think that I'm biased and I'll say any wine from Württemberg is good. This is the proof that it's not the case. A young lady that I met at the cinema recommended me the wine from Korb, a town that's about ten miles north-east of Stuttgart. So what did I do? You guessed it. I ran to the closest supermarket and picked up a bottle of wine from Korb, a Muskat-Trollinger from the Schmalzried vineyard.

In the evening I poured it into a decanter and waited patiently to let the wine breathe. Then I took my first sip. And yeuk! What was I drinking? It was so sour and unpalatable, I thought someone was playing a bad joke on me.

I drank the rest slowly. I thought it might grow on me. But it didn't. The following day I drank a second glass. It tasted slightly better after standing for a day. The third day (last night) I finished it. Never again. How dare Schmalzried sell something like this?

Before writing this review today I read online that this wine has won an award. You can see the green sticker on the bottle in the photo. Maybe, just maybe, something was wrong with the wine that I bought. Maybe some sort of contaminant found its way into the bottle, spoiling the taste. But then it would still be Schmalzried's fault. They bottle their own wine, so they should have quality control. Really, I should have taken the wine back to the supermarket and told them it was bad, but they would just have laughed at me. They have no way of knowing I'm a connoisseur who can tell the difference between good and bad wine.

No more Schmalzried wine for me. Never again.

The Fall Guy (5 Stars)

I'm growing to like the director David Leitch more and more. His films are always full of exaggerated action sequences. He can't be faulted. But sometimes I'm weird. I went into the cinema today with my mind made up to give "The Fall Guy" a four star rating. Ryan Gosling is an actor that I don't usually like. This was sealed by his awful performance in "La La Land". And he's the last actor I'd consider for an action role in a David Leitch film.

But as the film progressed, I couldn't help but realise that it's a straight five star film. The film won me over, and Ryan Gosling won me over.

Gosling plays a stunt man called Colt Seavers. In the 1980's there was a television series about a stunt man called Colt Seavers, but it's wrong to say that the film is based on the series. Apart from the name and the career, there's no comparison between the film and the series.

Colt is one of Hollywood's top stunt men, and he has a close connection with the action hero Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), for whom he regularly steps in as his stunt double. Tom's fame is largely due to the stunts performed by Colt. Colt is the unseen hero. Only film insiders know his name.

Colt has an accident while performing a dangerous stunt which puts him in hospital for over a year. He doesn't want to return to his old career. He becomes a valet parking cars. But his ex-girlfriend is directing her first movie, and she asks him to return to make the film a success. It goes one step further. The lead actor of the film is Tom Ryder, but he's disappeared. The producer wants Colt to find him, and if he can't find him he should step in and become the lead actor himself.

It's difficult to describe the action that takes place, on the film set and in the real world. Ryan Gosling is surprisingly convincing as an action hero. Five stars.

The Doors (5 Stars)

This is the May 2024 selection for the "Best Of Cinema" film. It definitely belongs to the selection of films, unlike some others which have been announced for the coming months. I shan't name them now. Although there are differences in opinion about the quality of the film. I have a friend who's a big fan of the Doors, so much so that she even visited Jim Morrison's grave in Paris. A pilgrimage? She told me that the film is awful because it's so inaccurate. When I hear words like that I'm confused. I like the music by the Doors, especially their earlier music, but I wouldn't call myself a fan. My only knowledge of the band's history comes from this film, so I have no way of knowing how accurate it is. All I can say is that it's a good film, as far as the story is told.

Even though the film is called "The Doors", it's really a film about Jim Morrison. The other band members aren't fleshed out, they're just background figures. The film could just as well have been called "The Rise and Fall of Jim Morrison". He begins as a charismatic wild boy, and a few years later he's descended into drugs and alcohol. He makes Mick Jagger look tame in comparison.

I like the way he's portrayed in the early scenes. I see a lot of myself in him. He's a lot like I was in my mid teens, 16 to 18. It's difficult to explain what I mean. I didn't take drugs, but I still had a feeling for the world that was delirious. It's like I was high without taking drugs. I always felt that I was a hippy born too late for the hippy era. I often walked barefoot in the Walsall town centre for no other reason than to be different.

The film takes place in a different era, 1963 to 1971. Society seems so primitive. The police are always fast to step in when Jim says or does something offensive. Today people would just tut and look the other way.

I've listed Jennifer Tilly in the credits, but her scene was cut from the film. You can find it online.

Success Rate:  - 0.9

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The Postman Fights Back (4 Stars)

No, this isn't the remake of a Kevin Costner film. It's a Hong Kong film made by Ronny Yu in 1982. Interestingly, the special effects look better than in "The Bride With The White Hair", which he made eleven years later.

It's not clear to me when the film takes place, but another reviewer says it's 1913. I don't know where he gets that from, but it makes sense, based on the technology we see in the film. Most of the action is with sword fights and kung fu, but in some scenes there are modern looking firearms.

Ma is a postman. He carries letters between villages. He isn't actually paid for his work. When he arrives in a village a collection is made among the people who are happy to receive mail. He's warned by his relatives that a new railroad is being built and he'll soon be unneeded.

He's asked to deliver four cases to a general in the north. At first he refuses, saying that he only delivers letters, but the pay is so much that he can't turn it down. He wants to do the delivery with two friends, but a fourth man that he hardly knows is added to the group. It's said that he knows the bandits on the road, so he'll be a good addition to the group. At first the extra man, Fu Jun, is an outsider in the group, but he soon makes friends with the others.

So they set off. They're forbidden to open the cases, however curious they are about the contents. On the way they're frequently attacked by bandits. Is it worth the money? To add to the problems, two women attach themselves to the group. One is a woman from Ma's village who wants to go to Shanghai to buy her sister back from slavery. Another is a woman who they rescue from bandits on the way.

The film is good, though confusing. I suspect I'd enjoy it more if I knew the historical background. What was happening in China in 1913? I have no idea. But one thing that disturbs me is that the film has so much smoking. The postman and his three companions are constantly puffing at cigarettes. Don't they get out of breath when they're fighting?

Another problem is that the film is uneven. For the first half hour Ma, the postman, is the main character, but as it continues Fu Jun has more screen time.

Curse of Chucky (3 Stars)

I'm sorry to say that this is the weakest film in the Chucky series. There's none of the fast action that we're used to, interspersed with comedy. It's just long, lingering suspense. We have to wait 88 minutes before we see the wonderful Jennifer Tilly, and a minute later she's gone. If I remember correctly, the seventh film in the series is better, but I've only watched it once, so I can't be sure. I'll try to watch it again later this week.

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Scarface (5 Stars)

"Scarface" is a story of the American dream. You can come to America with nothing, but if you work hard you can move to the top fast. That's what Tony Montana wanted. He came to America on a boat from Cuba in 1983 with nothing in his pocket. It wasn't even certain that he'd be allowed to stay in America. But he worked hard. He was a criminal, but crime in a business like any other. With hard work he became the biggest drug dealer in South Florida.

Even though Tony is the bad guy, people have sympathy with him. That's probably because they value his work ethic. They respect him as the underdog who came out on top.

But he fell from his top position. Was it his morals? Was it because he refused to kill children for the Bolivian drug lord? I don't think so. He could have worked around it somehow. He was already acting erratically. The problem was drugs. Not the ones he was selling, the ones he was using. "Never get high on your own supply".

When a man has cocaine piled up on his desk, he's dead already.

The actress Jenna Presley gave up her career in pornography, blaming porn for ruining her life. She was wrong. Appearing nude in films ruined nothing; her drug addiction ruined her. She was the highest earning porn star in America, but she was always broke because she spent her money on drugs as soon as she earned it. Without drugs, she'd still be making high quality pornographic films today.

It's been argued that many things are a drug, even coffee and alcohol. I can see the problem in making clear definitions. I shan't attempt to define the word drug itself. I'll just talk about which drugs are harmful and should be outlawed. A drug is bad if you can't stop taking it. For instance, I drink coffee every day, but I've had times when I did without it for weeks, mostly when I was taking blood pressure medication in England. I missed my morning cup of coffee, but I didn't feel like I was suffering without it. Alcohol is a borderline case. Most people, including me, can take it or leave it, but there are many who need alcohol every day.

What about cigarettes? Nicotine isn't usually considered a drug because it's legal, but it's highly addictive. Despite warnings about negative effects, nobody who smokes can do without cigarettes.

An interesting case is marijuana. For years people have been saying it should be legalised because it's harmless. I've never used it myself, but I've had a lot of friends who smoked it, and I've made interesting observations. People who use marijuana like to talk about it. They become obsessed with it without noticing. It's a medically proven fact that it brings on psychotic episodes in people with a tendency to psychosis. The figures from studies vary between 10% and 15%. The normal marijuana users deny this. They make excuses or just say it isn't true. But I witnessed it myself in my second wife Nicola. She didn't smoke marijuana often, but whenever she did she became suicidal. I knew that and she knew that, but she still made mistakes. One afternoon we were sitting with Pete, a friend of mine in Birmingham, who regularly smoked marijuana. He offered her some, and she turned it down, saying it was bad for her. So he started a long monologue about how good it is. Eventually, despite my protests, she smoked a joint. When we went home Pete said, "Look how good it's made you feel". Later that evening I had to take her to hospital after she cut her wrists.

Cocaine is considered a helpful drug by many. It keeps people awake, and it helps them function. It's often called the drug of intellectuals. Maybe, just maybe, it can be helpful in small quantities, but how easy is it to remain with small quantities? I have no experience.

Heroin is a destructive drug. Whoever takes it is incapable of functioning in society. It's so addictive that a person's only interest in life is getting more heroin. I knew several heroin addicts, and they were all wrecks. Subhuman. There was only one exception. There was a girl called Maisie, the girlfriend of a drug dealer called Alexis Thomas. One day when I met her she said, "Mike, everyone told me that heroin is bad, but I take it and it makes me feel great".

I asked her how long she'd been taking it. She said "One week". I wonder if she's still alive today.

It's obvious that drugs (and I'm talking about illegal drugs) feel good when you try them. If they didn't, nobody would want them. But there's a sting in the tail. The negative effects come later. Maybe it doesn't feel as good any more, or maybe you realise that you're spending too much money on them and ruining your life. When you realise you can't stop, it's already too late. I wonder how many how many weeks Maisie needed to realise this point.

Success Rate:  + 0.6

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The Bride With White Hair (4 Stars)

I recently said I was considering a Ronny Yu marathon. On second thoughts, I shan't do it, at least not in the near future. I looked at my shelf and remembered that I have more than 20 unwatched films. I need to catch up on my new films before returning to my old films, however good they are. Or maybe I can make a mix of my new and old films. I'll see.

Nevertheless, I've picked one of Ronny Yu's films to watch today. It was made in 1993, when he still lived in Hong Kong. It's a tragic drama. Cho I-Hang is a master swordsman. He's destined to become the leader of the Wu-Tang clan, but he doesn't have the heart to become a killer. He thinks that as a swordsman he should protect those in distress, not go into war against rival clans.

One day he meets a beautiful young woman who's a member of a rival cult. She tells him she has no name, so he calls her Lien Ni-Cheng. This wins her heart, because nobody has ever wanted to give her a name, but they can't remain together. She's the lover of her cult's leader, a Siamese twin whose sister is joined to his back. That's really weird. Whenever he makes love to a woman, his sister is lying on his back laughing hysterically. That would put me off.

War breaks out between the cult and the Wu-Tang clan. Lien enters the temple and slaughters almost everyone. Is Cho able to take revenge against the woman he loves?

This is Cho's master instructing the children in swordsmanship and calligraphy. I've heard it said before that the two disciplines go together, but I've never understood why.

It's a spectacular film that's been highly praised by critics. I find it lacking because of the dated special effects. When the sword fighters leap into action they're just a blur. If the film had been made ten years later, it would have been a lot better.

China O'Brien 2 (4 Stars)

This is a sequel to "China O'Brien", made two years later in 1992. Once more it's distributed by the Hong Kong film company, Golden Harvest. The story also takes place two years after the events of the first film.

Despite showing reluctance at the end of the first film, the young man Dakota (Keith Cooke) has become a deputy. China O'Brien (Cynthia Rothrock) is still the sheriff of Park City, Utah, and she's managed to keep the town peaceful.

A drug dealer called Charlie Baskin has escaped from prison. He's vowed revenge on everyone who put him away, from the judge to the witnesses to the policeman who arrested him. One by one they're killed, and it's the main news on the television.

Only one target is missing. One of Charlie's gang testified against him, and is now living in witness protection in Park City using the name Frank Atkins. Somehow Baskin locates him, and he comes to Park City with his men. This is a special case. Unknown to the FBI, Atkins stole five million dollars of the drug money, and Baskin wants it back.

Atkins has the money in a hidden closet in his kitchen. I have to ask something. What's the point in stealing money and never touching it? He might as well have not had the money. If I'd been in his position I would have spent the money slowly, maybe $100 a week, maybe more on special occasions, but not enough that it would attract attention. That's the best way to get rid of stolen cash.

China, Dakota and her Australian school friend Matt Conroy (Richard Norton) fight against Baskin and his gang. It's unusual that the gang is made up of skilled martial artists, but we needed a good film.

China O'Brien (4½ Stars)

Cynthia Rothrock spent the first five years of her acting career making films in Hong Kong. Her martial arts skills made her a perfect actress for films such as "Yes Madam". In 1990 she returned to America to make films in her own country, but there was still a Chinese connection. "China O'Brien" is set in America and has western (i.e. non-Chinese) actors, but it was distributed by Golden Harvest.

China O'Brien is a policewoman in the Big City, presumably New York. When breaking up a street fight she shoots someone pointing a gun at her partner. When he's lying dead, China realises it was only a child. She quits the police force and swears never to use a gun again. She returns to her home town, Park City in Utah. It's a sleepy little town, not a city at all, but a criminal boss has set up a drug smuggling ring in the town. He's effectively taken over the town, since he's bribed the judge and other officials to work for him.

China's father is the local sheriff and one of the few in the town who isn't corrupt. He's killed by a bomb planted in his car. China decides to become the next sheriff. She still won't carry a gun, but her martial arts skills are more than enough to do her job. I'm not enough of an expert to recognise what fighting skill she uses in the films. Cynthia has black belts in seven different fighting styles, so it's different to tell. I suspect that she's using primarily karate, with a lot of groin kicks.

It's interesting to see that the film was set in a real town. Usually towns are invented for films. We don't see any Mormons in the town. Maybe it's not such a religious place. What's strange is that her best friend Matt, who she's known since high school, has a strong Australian accent. No explanation is given.

I watched the film on a stunning 4K disc. This is the future of home cinema.

Bikini Airways (4 Stars)

I'm happy to say that Fred Olen Ray has released another one of the Medina films on Blu-ray. He's getting there, slowly but surely. Five down, 27 to go.

I call this series of films the Medina Collection, since they were directed by Fred using the pseudonym Juan Medina or Nicholas Juan Medina. He prefers to refer to them as his bikini films, even though there are no bikinis in most of the films.

This is the third version of the film I've bought so far. The first DVD was poor quality, and worst of all, it was a double-sided DVD. The second DVD was remastered from the original tapes. It was a significant improvement. The Blu-ray disc that I now hold in my hands is a further improvement, as I can see from comparing it with the second DVD. I have to qualify it though. The wide angle scenes are still slightly fuzzy, but the close up scenes look almost perfect on my 4K OLED television.

Pilots have been flying the skies for years, but they've never seen a UFO.

"Bikini Airways" is notable for having the first appearance of Eric Masterson in a Retromedia film. He went on to make a total of eleven films.

Admittedly, "Bikini Airways" is trashy, but I like trash. It was a good film that kicked off 53 further films in its softporn genra. Or was it 52? Fred says that "Bikini Airways" was the first of the bikini films, but it was the second film in the Medina Collection.

Here's a summary of the Retromedia films so far, with the Blu-ray releases marked.

The Medina Collection

1. Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002)
2. (BR) Bikini Airways (2003)
3. Haunting Desires (2003)
4. Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2003)
5. Bikini Carwash Academy (2004)
6. Erotic Dreams of Jeannie (2004)
7. Teenage Cavegirl (2004)
8. The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful (2005)
9. Bikini Chain Gang (2005)
10. Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006)
11. Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet (2006)
12. Harlots of the Caribbean (2006)
13. Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes (2006)
14. Bewitched Housewives (2006)
15. The Girl from BIKINI (2006)
16. Super Ninja Doll (2007)
17. Tarzeena (2007)
18. Voodoo Dollz (2008)
19. Bikini Royale (2008)
20. (BR) Bikini Frankenstein (2009)
21. (BR) Twilight Vamps (2009)
22. Bikini Royale 2 (2009)
23. (BR) Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2009)
24. Housewives from Another World (2010)
25. Lady Chatterley's Ghost (2010)
26. Bikini Time Machine (2010)
27. Sexual Witchcraft (2010)
28. Bikini Warriors (2010)
29. The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad (2011)
30. Dirty Blondes from Beyond (2012)
31. Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills (2012)
32. (BR) Baby Dolls Behind Bars (2012)

The McKendrick Collection

1. Strippers from another world (2013)
2. Big Bust Theory (2013)
3. Intergalactic Swingers (2013)
4. (BR) All Babe Network (2013)
5. Great Bikini Bowling Bash (2014)
6. Stacked Racks from Mars (2014)
7. Atomic Hotel Erotica (2014)
8. Lolita from Interstellar Space (2014)
9. Sexy Warriors (2014)
10. Bikini Avengers (2015)
11. (BR) College Coeds vs Zombie Housewives (2015)
12. Lust in Space (2015)
13. Erotic Vampires of Beverly Hills (2015)
14. Invisible Centerfolds (2015)
15. (BR) Cinderella's Hot Night (2017)
16. (BR) Sleeping Beauties (2017)

The Apocrypha

1. (BR) Bad Girls Behind Bars (2016)
2. Vixens From Venus (2016)
3. Cyborg Hookers (2016)
4. Cosmic Calendar Girls (2016)
5. Escape From Pleasure Planet (2016)
6. (BR) Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)

The Medina Collection consists of films directed by Fred Olen Ray using the pseudonym Juan Medina. The McKendrick Collection consists of films directed by Dean McKendrick. The Apocrypha consists of films directed for Retromedia by other directors.

Notes:

(1) "Haunting Desires" (Medina 3) is the only Medina film that hasn't been officially released on DVD.

(2) "Bikini Carwash Academy" (Medina 5) was re-released with a different opening credits sequence, listing the director as Sherman Scott.

(3) "Tomb of the Werewolf" (not listed above) was directed by Fred Olen Ray using his own name, but it's in the Medina style. It has almost the same cast as "Haunting Desires".

(4) Dean McKendrick made seven erotic thrillers for Retromedia, not listed above.

(5) Apocrypha? If you have a better name for these films, let me know.

That's 11 out of 54 films released on Blu-ray so far. At the current speed they won't all be available on Blu-ray until 2040. I'm hoping Fred will speed up, but there are problems with the early Medina films. The first films were made in single density, so they'll need time-intensive remastering to be prepared for Blu-ray. Fred will only do that if he's 100% certain he'll make a profit. The later films shot in high density can be transferred to Blu-ray with a minimum of effort.

Pearl (5 Stars)

Pearl. She was a German farm girl who wanted more from life. She wanted to be a star on the big screen. She wanted the whole world to know her name.

In my opinion, this was the best film of 2023. It's a sin that Mia Goth was ignored by the Oscars. Here are a few photos.

Success Rate:  + 8.1

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Scream 6 (4 Stars)

I missed the latest instalment of the Scream franchise when it was in the cinema last year. If I remember correctly, I was in bed sick for a few days. It happens. This week I finally ordered it on Blu-ray. I didn't even wait for the price to fall to my eight Euro maximum. I was so impatient that I paid a whopping 9.99 Euros for the disc.

I shan't write much tonight, because I intend to watch it again soon. I felt like I was missing something. It continues from "Scream 2022" aka "Scream 5", with the same characters. I can only vaguely remember their back stories, so I need to watch the two films back to back. What I do remember is that the music – a vital element of the first four films – was scaled down in the last film, but in "Scream 6" it's been cut to an absolute minimum. That's not good. It's also not good that Neve Campbell is missing from the cast. Maybe she's had enough after 27 years of screaming.

The premise of "Scream 6" is that the teenagers from Woodsboro have gone to study in New York City, and the killer has followed them there. Actually, he hasn't followed them anywhere, because every film has a different killer under the mask. Who is it this time? It could be anyone, even your best friend.

Truer words have never been spoken. But to stop me missing something, there's the excellent web site Aftercredits.com that I always check before I go to the cinema.

Success Rate:  + 3.1

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Chantal im Märchenland (3 Stars)

"Chantal im Märchenland", engl. "Chantal in Fairy Tale Land", is a German comedy. It's still in the cinemas, and it's already the most successful film of 2024 in Germany, out-grossing the American blockbusters. As a serious film fan I had to acknowledge it by laying my money on the counter.

It's a spin-off of the "Fack Ju Göthe" film series. That's a strange premise. "Fack Ju Göhte" is a high school comedy that takes place in the real world, whereas "Chantal im Märchenland" is a fantasy film. Chantal is a girl that we met in the previous films. Now she's in her early twenties and she's trying to become famous as a YouTube influencer. It's not as easy as she thinks. She only has 500 subscribers to her channel.

One day Chantal falls into a magical mirror that she wants to use as a prop for a video. Her best friend Zeynep jumps in after her. The two young women find themself in a fantasy world. Chantal is a princess, while Zeynep is a commoner. The fantasy world is a mixture of fairy tales and other fantasy stories. Chantal meets a witch and realises that she's about to be cursed to become Sleeping Beauty, so she deflects the curse onto a prince. The prince falls into a deep sleep until he's awakened by the kiss of a stable boy. The two men fall in love, but he's ashamed to admit it, so he tells his mother that Chantal's kiss woke him up.

There are other things mixed in. There's a sword in a stone which will belong to whoever can pull it out. Many men try in vain, until a princess arrives and pulls it out easily.

Then Chantal meets a young man called Ali Baba. She weaves him a flying carpet, so that they can fly together to Bagdad.

The film is hilarious. It's a product of today's mixing of gender and sexuality roles, but it's successful because it's a comedy. When the prince and the stable boy kissed, nobody in the audience sighed romantically, they all laughed.

The film's biggest problem is the language. The dialogue is full of vulgar swear words. I see no reason for it. It's a fairy tale world, so why is everyone swearing? Is it supposed to be funny? I didn't find it funny. The bad language is totally unnecessary.

Seed of Chucky (5 Stars)

In the last film we saw Tiffany having a baby in the cemetery. This film takes place a few years later, and we see what a beautiful boy he's become. Red hair and blue eyes is a beautiful mix. He was stolen from the cemetery by a ventriloquist and taken to England, but after seeing Chucky and Tiffany on television he recognises them as his parents and mails himself to Hollywood.

It's not clear how the two murder dolls found their way into a movie studio. They seemed to have been destroyed at the end of the last film, but they've been reassembled to make a horror film about their killing spree. Ah ha, so it's a metafilm, like we know from "Scream"/"Stab". The dolls are no longer alive, so they have to be animated by electronics.

The star of the horror film is Jennifer Tilly, the real Jennifer Tilly.

She's supposed to be on a diet for her role, but she sneaks into the props room for a snack. What's she eating? I've watched the scene in slow motion, and I can't tell whether it's a Snickers or a Mars bar.

Leave her alone! She's beautiful enough to carry a few extra calories.

The boy recites a ritual from the pages of "Voodoo For Dummies", bringing his parents back to life. They call him Glen, but when he undresses they see that he doesn't have male equipment, so they change his name to Glenda. This starts an argument between the parents. Chucky wants a son, but Tiffany wants a daughter. Can't he be both?

Glen is a good boy. Or girl. He doesn't want to kill, but after seeing his parents go on a murder spree he wants to be like them. 

"Seed of Chucky" has a different style to the previous four films. Until now they've been horror films with slight touches of comedy. In this film the comedy is in the foreground. Critics have called this the weakest film in the series, probably because of the comedy. I used to agree with them, but after watching "Bride of Chucky" and "Seed of Chucky" back to back I can accept both films in their respective styles.

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Bride of Chucky (5 Stars)

"Love between the ugly is the most beautiful love of all".

That quote must mean something to me. It's is the third time I've used it in my blog. Although I have to say, only Chucky is ugly. Tiffany is beautiful, even as a doll.

But I prefer her as a woman. Jennifer Tilly is one of the sexiest actresses I know. It's not just her voluptuous curves. It's not even her baby doll voice. Something about her oozes evil, and I mean that as a compliment. I wouldn't dare play poker with her. She'd take all my money and laugh at me as I leave.

Have you noticed that she always shows off deep cleavage when she plays poker? That's a deadly distraction to the men at the table. As they say, "If you've got it, flaunt it. If you've got a lot of it, use it as a weapon".

"Bride of Chucky" was made seven years after "Child's Play 3". Even though it's a continuation of the franchise, it has the feeling of a reboot. It's a new start with new dynamics, mainly due to the arrival of the Hong Kong director Ronny Wu. He's breathing new life into the series. Whatever he does turns to gold. I have enough of his films to do a mini-marathon. Maybe I'll start next month.

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Oddity (2 Stars)

This is the 15th film in the Stuttgart Nights Festival.

Ted Timmis works in a hospital for the criminally insane. One night his wife Dani is murdered, and a recently released patient is found guilty. But Dani has a twin sister who's blind and psychic. When she touches an object she can see what happened to it. She wants to investigate and find out if the patient really was guilty.

This is the sort of film I don't like. There are lots of things going on; some are relevant to the plot, some aren't. There's a lot that the viewer has to accept. For me it was too much. Evidently it was too much for the other festival guests as well. Things happened that made them laugh, even though they were supposed to be terrifying.

This was the last film that I watched in this year's Nights Festival. I regret that the festival ended on a poor note.

Concrete Utopia (4½ Stars)

This is the 14th film in the Stuttgart Nights Festival.

This was Korea's entry for the best foreign language film at the 2024 Oscars. It takes place in Seoul in an area where there are a lot of residential skyscrapers, 15 or more floors high. There's a massive earthquake, and all the buildings are destroyed, except for one. The people from the neighbouring buildings flood to it, seeking shelter, and the question is whether they should be accepted or turned away. Soon they're divided into two groups: the residents and the cockroaches.

The film's message is plainly clear. What should we do with refugees? Let them in or turn them away? And how is our decision influenced when we don't have much ourselves? There was an incident in my home town a few years ago. There was a supermarket called Cap which employed mentally handicapped people. Only the manager was "normal". I often shopped there. The staff were friendly. They were disabled, but I liked them. Then the town was ordered to build a home for asylum seekers. Cap had received financial support from the council because the employees weren't able to work as efficiently as normal employees. The council wrote to Cap and told them that the social budget was exhausted by the refugee home, so they couldn't pay money to Cap for the next two years. Cap was closed, and the mentally handicapped people lost their jobs. It never re-opened.

I found that disgusting. The weakest people in our society, the ones who needed the most help, were the ones who had to pay for the refugees. It was wrong to stop funding Cap.

I'd better stop ranting. Back to the film. It's very good, though uneven in parts. There are subplots which I found unnecessary. Nevertheless, I intend to watch it again.

Bitten (5 Stars)

This is the 13th film in the Stuttgart Nights Festival.

It's a coming of age drama, and the vampire elements are only incidental. The year is 1967. Francoise is a 16-year-old girl who lives in a Catholic boarding school. Her best friend Delphine has just lost her virginity. Francoise is jealous, but she has other things on her mind. She has a premonition that she will die before dawn, so she wants to have a good time in her final hours of life.

Francoise and Delphine hitch a ride to a mansion in the woods where there's a big party. Lots of good-looking boys, but Francoise rejects their advances. She's more interested in a young-looking boy called Christophe. He tells her that he's a vampire, and he's really very old. Francoise asks him to kill her, but he's reluctant.

That's it! No more spoilers.

As I said above, the vampire element of the film is subdued. It's more about the feelings of two young girls, trying to deal with their hormones and the impending feeling of doom.