Elvira Mistress of the Dark (5 Stars)

Wow! This was one of the first films I bought after buying my first DVD player in 2003, and yet I haven't watched it for at least 15 years. I'd forgotten how good it is. What's wrong with me? It's trashy, it's campy, it's brilliant. 

In the film Elvira plays herself. Her real name is Cassandra Peterson, but as soon as she puts on her black wig she becomes Elvira. She first appeared on television in 1981 as the host of "Movie Macabre", a series of so-called bad movies. After each commercial break she appeared to comment on the film so far, usually in a derogatory manner. Whether or not the films really were bad, "Movie Macabre" always had big ratings. I can think of two reasons.

That's how the film begins. Elvira is in the studio showing a cheap science fiction film. She quits her job after being groped by the head of the television channel. Then she finds out that she's been named in the Will of her great aunt Morgana. She drives to Fallwell, Massachusetts (population 1313) for the reading of the will. She's been left a house, a dog and a book.

The house is old, but it has style. I'd like to live there.

The dog is cute, if you like poodles with mohawks.

The book is written in a foreign language. Elvira thinks it's a cookbook, but it's actually a book of magical spells. Elvira's Uncle Vinnie is determined to get his hands on the book. When she refuses to sell it to him, he attempts to steal it. Vinnie is already a master of the dark arts, while Elvira is only just learning her powers. A mighty battle ensues.

The film is delightfully cheesy. Elvira's dialogue consists of a stream of one-liners. I can't imagine anyone not liking it.

Success Rate:  - 1.4

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