Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters (4 Stars)

When I reviewed this film in 2013 I said that it's worth watching once. I didn't intend to watch it a second time, but recently I couldn't help thinking about it. Partly it's because I'm fascinated by Gemma Arterton. She's not what I would call a stunningly beautiful woman, but something about her appearance is haunting. She has a face that is perfect in its simplicity. If I ever met her I'm sure I would stare at her. Does that sound creepy? I guess it does.

The beautiful Gemma Arterton.

Another reason is that I was recently looking at Zoe Bell's filmography, and I couldn't remember her appearing in the film. I had to watch it again to check her out. It's no wonder that I didn't recognise her in her extreme make-up. I admire Zoe as an actress, not because of her looks, so I can't be accused of being creepy again. Of course, the more I say I'm not being creepy, the creepier I sound.

The not so beautiful Zoe Bell.

The film itself is an enjoyable romp. The anachronisms remind me of Sam Raimi's Hercules and Xena TV series, with a touch of "Van Helsing" mixed in. (That's another film I need to watch again).

One thing I don't understand is why the film has so much bad language. The F word is used repeatedly from beginning to end. I personally don't swear. I never have done, except when I'm quoting the words of others. It seems so pointless. Have you ever listened to people who swear a lot? The seven-letter F word is always given more emphasis than anything else in their sentences. It's spoken louder, as if it's the most important word they're saying, even though it means nothing at all. I live in a Pakistani community, and I often stand listening to young people talking in their own language. Many of them have adopted the English F word into their language and use it frequently, with the same over-emphasis. I can't understand anything they say except for this one word.

Shall I watch "Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters" again? Probably. It's not a film to be watched only once.

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