The television series "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" ran for six seasons from January 1995 to November 1999. It was the brainchild of Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert.
Most television series and films that use animals have a disclaimer at the end, with a text such as "No animals were harmed during the production of this motion picture". This series developed the habit of replacing this disclaimer with a humorous text, starting from the sixth episode of the first season, with only a few omissions in the first two seasons. I'm including a full list of the disclaimer texts, together with each episode's name, season number and episode number. I've decided not to beautify the list by adding pictures to make it easier to copy and paste. As far as I know, a list like this isn't available online yet. I don't mind anyone copying this list for his own web site. That's what it's here for.
Notable disclaimers are:
1.07 - The only normal disclaimer.
1.06 and 2.05 - The only duplicate disclaimers. Almost duplicate.
2.14 and 2.21 - Tributes to a person, rather than disclaimers.
6.08 - A disclaimer for the whole series.
The television series
"Xena Warrior Princess" also used humorous disclaimers. I intend to post a list of the Xena disclaimers later this month.
Hercules complete disclaimer list.
1.01 The Wrong Path
<no disclaimer>
1.02 Eye of the Beholder
<no disclaimer>
1.03 The Road to Calydon
<no disclaimer>
1.04 The Festival of Dionysus
<no disclaimer>
1.05 Ares
<no disclaimer>
1.06 As Darkness Falls
No centaurs were harmed in the production of this motion picture.
1.07 Pride Comes Before a Brawl
No animals were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.08 The March to Freedom
<no disclaimer>
1.09 The Warrior Princess
No hydras were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.10 Gladiator
<no disclaimer>
1.11 The Vanishing Dead
No dogs of war were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.12 The Gauntlet
<no disclaimer>
1.13 Unchained Heart
No vicious beasts intent on taking over the world were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.01 The King of Thieves
No subterranean serpents were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.02 All that Glitters
No stuffed elephants were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.03 What's in a Name?
No mandrakes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.04 Siege at Naxos
No barbarians were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.05 Outcast
No centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.06 Under the Broken Sky
<no disclaimer>
2.07 The Mother of All Monsters
The mother of all monsters was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.08 The Other Side
Nether Phil nor Sal nor any of the other Piglet Brethren were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.09 The Fire Down Below
No Completely-Engulfed-In-Flames-Evil-Dudes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.10 Cast a Giant Shadow
Neither Typhon nor Echidna were harmed during the production of this motion picture. They went on to lead long and happy lives with their adopted family. However, attempts to reinflate Pylon were unsuccessful.
2.11 Highway to Hades
No rabbits or spirits wandering the Earth were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.12 The Sword of Veracity
No attacking minotaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.13 The Enforcer
<no disclaimer>
2.14 Once a Hero
We gratefully acknowledge the lifelong inspiration Ray Harryhausen has provided on our journey through Filmland.
2.15 Heedless Hearts
<no disclaimer>
2.16 Let the Games Begin
The nuclear blast that destroyed those fiendish Mesomorphs was purely trick photography. The Mesomorphs are alive and well and living in Poughkeepsie.
2.17 The Apple
No extremely oversize clam shell wind-surfing apparatuses housing goddesses of love were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.18 Promises
No hairy Sasquatch-like mammals were battered, bruised, burned or beaten during the production of this motion picture.
2.19 King for a Day
No slightly soused kings-to-be who finally pull themselves up by their bootstraps and realize the true meaning of leadership were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.20 Protean Challenge
No slightly discolored and impish Gods who vaguely resemble any candidate in the 1996 presidential elections were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.21 The Wedding of Alcmene
In memory of Jerry Siegel.
2.22 The Power
No manure was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.23 Centaur Mentor Journey
No centaurs were harmed or discriminated against during the production of this motion picture.
2.24 The Cave of Echoes
No vicious tabby cats were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the pre-Hellenic litter box is in dire need of a change.
3.01 Mercenary
No flesh-eating sandrays were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.02 Doomsday
No silly nutty was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, quite a few filberts and cashews sacrificed their lives in the name of progress.
3.03 Love Takes a Holiday
No metal panthers were tarnished during the production of this motion picture. When polishing your metal animals, remember to use salt and lemon.
3.04 Mummy Dearest
Any similarity between our Mummy and the foot dragging classic we all know and love is purely intentional.
3.05 Not Fade Away
No bootie-kicking, chop-sakiing she-monsters from Tartarus were harmed during the production of this motion picture. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the temple!
3.06 Monster Child in a Promised Land
Out of respect for Baby Obie, no calamari was served to the cast and crew during the production of this motion picture.
3.07 The Green-Eyed Monster
No goats were harmed during the production of this cheese.
3.08 Prince Hercules
Iolaus was not harmed or permanently stained in the production of this motion picture. In fact, thanks to the miracle of sandblasting, his skin was restored to its original color and lustrous sheen.
3.09 A Star to Guide Them
No unnamed baby of key biblical and mythological importance was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.10 The Lady and the Dragon
No fire-breathing, pre-pubescent, slightly sinister dragons were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.11 Long Live the King
No stags were bagged during the production of this motion picture.
3.12 Surprise
Hercules' party pants were not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.13 Encounter
The golden hind was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. To order a hind of your own call 1-800-55-HIND.
3.14 When a Man Loves a Woman
Hercules' strength was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In fact, Ares is storing it in a cryogenic freezer bag deep in the Olympian Meat Locker.
3.15 Judgment Day
No family values were harmed during the production of this Blood Lite motion picture.
3.16 The Lost City
No hippy-dippy, substance-abusing, 60's reject love children were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.17 Les Contemptibles
The French accents depicted in this motion picture are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to actual accents, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Vive La Revolution!
3.18 Reign of Terror
The sheeps' political and cultural independence was restored after the production of this motion picture. Run Free Ewe Wilde Beasts!
3.19 The End of the Beginning
Neither the time space continuum, nor any previous storylines were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.20 War Bride
No leather-clad, pointy-breasted, buffont-wearing, pillow-smothering, two-faced sisters were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.21 A Rock and a Hard Place
No convicts were squished like a bug during the production of this motion picture.
3.22 Atlantis
Warning: Crystal-waves were used during the production of this motion picture. Pregnant women should leave the room immediately.
4.01 Beanstalks and Bad Eggs
No permanent cases of Harpies were reported during the production of this motion picture.
4.02 Hero's Heart
As Fortune would have it, Iolaus' memory was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.03 Regrets... I've Had a Few
Jaris' cause of death remained a mystery during the production of this motion picture.
4.04 Web of Desire
The original website was severely harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, through the miracle of modern technology, it was reinvented several centuries later.
4.05 Stranger in a Strange World
No heart-throwing, love-spewing, smooth-talking Ares impersonators were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.06 Two Men and a Baby
No fire-belching, levitating, neo-natal sons of a god were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.07 Prodigal Sister
The Amazon hokey-pokey was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In fact, this catchy number is now being performed in dance clubs around the country.
4.08 ...And Fancy Free
The Widow Twanky, once again, on top of the dance world with the success of the Hercules Hustle, was not harmed or tripped during the production of this motion picture.
4.09 If I Had A Hammer
Hercules proved once again the true measure of a man is not the size of his grapes but the size of his heart.
4.10 Hercules on Trial
Due to extensive DNA testing, Hercules was proved innocent during the production of this motion picture.
4.11 Medea Culpa
No two-headed, fire-breathing, regenerating Ghidras were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.12 Men in Pink
Cupcake's sweet tooth was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, her love life experienced a slight setback.
4.13 Armageddon Now (Part 1)
Once again, Alcmene's fence was not finished during the production of this motion picture.
4.14 Armageddon Now (Part 2)
Although Alcmene's barn was blown to smithereens, remarkably she and Iolaus were not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.15 Yes, Virginia, there is a Hercules
Any resemblance between the Hercules cast and the Renaissance staff is purely intentional.
4.16 Porkules
Hermes' wings were clipped during the production of this motion picture.
4.17 One Fowl Day
No giant poultry was tripped, plucked, barbecued, deep-fried or otherwise assaulted during the production of this motion picture. Katherine's owners are orthodox vegetarians.
4.18 My Fair Cupcake
No bakeries were harmed during the production of this motion picture, although many pastries were burned to a crisp.
4.19 War Wounds
Any resemblance between King Iphicles, Hercules' half-brother, and Ares, God of War, Hercules' other half-brother, is totally unavoidable.
4.20 Twilight
Caution: Nafoline cannons are highly flammable and may be hazardous to your health. Keep away from children.
4.21 Top God
No boogie-boarding, bleached-blonde, narcissistic Gods were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.22 Reunions
Zeus' godhood was not harmed during the production of this motion picture, although his short stint as a mortal was somewhat intoxicating.
5.01 Faith
In order to protect the environment and for the benefit of all mankind, Imuru's beard was recycled and restored immediately upon completion of production of this motion picture.
5.02 Descent
No zombies were chomping at the bit during the production of this motion picture.
5.03 Resurrection
No magic munchkins preaching the virtues of ancient Celtic philosophy were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.04 Genies and Grecians and Geeks, Oh My
No cool blue bongs that resemble Aladdin's lamp were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.05 Render Unto Caesar
No scribes intending on writing the truth and nothing but the truth were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.06 Norse by Norsevest
No ram, stag, or any other horned species was sacrificed for Thor's helmet during the production of this motion picture. Ve Svear it.
5.07 Somewhere Over the Rainbow Bridge
No Frost Giants were thawed during the production of this motion picture.
5.08 Darkness Rising
Iolaus nearly lost his head during the production of this motion picture.
5.09 For Those of You Just Joining Us
Due to circumstances beyond our control, some staff members were ridiculed, laughed at and generally made fun of during the production of this motion picture.
5.10 Let There Be Light
No cast-iron Snakes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.11 Redemption
Finally, the demon Dahak was destroyed during the production of this motion picture.
5.12 Sky High
Ephiny's leg was not hurt during the production of this motion picture. However, the writers sincerely apologize to Amazons everywhere for excluding her from the big finale.
5.13 Stranger and Stranger
If you would like to be a contestant on "Wheel of Misfortune", simply drop us a postcard and prepare to kiss your bottom goodbye.
5.14 Just Passing Through
Autolycus' intestinal tract was well lubricated and, consequently, was not harmed or blocked during the production of this motion picture.
5.15 Greece Is Burning
Due to incredibly bad taste and a despicable dress code, the Fashion Police were locked up indefinitely immediately upon completion of filming this motion picture.
5.16 We'll Always Have Cyprus
The Oracle affectionately known as "Mrs. Potato Head" was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.17 The Academy
Support the United Grecian College Fund. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, much like the vacation plans of certain Young Hercules cast members.
5.18 Love on the Rocks
No fish out of water was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.19 Once Upon a Future King
Many giant steps were taken during the production of this motion picture. However, none for mankind.
5.20 Fade Out
No Gods or other deities were killed during the production of this motion picture. They just faded away.
5.21 My Best Girl's Wedding
No floundering fish were filleted during the production of this motion picture.
5.22 Revelations
Iolaus got a new lease on life during the production of this motion picture.
6.01 Be Deviled
Xerxos' goose was cooked during the production of this motion picture.
6.02 Love, Amazon Style
No conniving mischievous over-the-top deities formerly and presently known as Deimos were harmed during the making of this motion picture.
6.03 Rebel With a Cause
Creon's perm was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
6.04 Darkness Visible
No blood-sucking homicidal vampires were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
6.05 Hercules, Tramps & Thieves
No cat burglars intent on training their ex-husbands were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
6.06 City of the Dead
No pyramid schemes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
6.07 A Wicked Good Time
Discord was a basket case during the production of this motion picture.
6.08 Full Circle
No ancient Greek myths were seriously harmed during the production of this series, although some stories were slightly altered for the entertainment and enjoyment of our audience.
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