Sunday, 30 November 2025

Captain Phillips (5 Stars)


"Captain Phillips" follows Tom Hanks as the most stressed man on the Indian Ocean. He is just trying to deliver some cargo, drink bad coffee and fill out paperwork when a group of Somali pirates shows up in a tiny skiff that looks like it should capsize if someone sneezes.

The pirates board the ship with enthusiasm that suggests they skipped every team-building seminar known to man. Their leader, Muse, announces “I am the captain now” which instantly becomes the world’s most quoted line. Phillips tries to reason with them using the universal language of middle-aged managerial concern.

Eventually the pirates kidnap him in a lifeboat that resembles a bright orange coffin. Tom Hanks spends the rest of the film sweating, negotiating and looking like he would give anything for a nap. The US Navy arrives with enough firepower to vaporise a small moon, which makes the pirates realise this was not the best career move.

The film ends with a famous scene in which Hanks delivers the most convincing performance of a man who has absolutely had enough. It is tense, gripping and unexpectedly funny if you enjoy watching sophisticated global shipping operations undone by four men in a boat that probably needs an oil change.

Success Rate:  + 2.0

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