"Captain Phillips" follows Tom Hanks as the most stressed man on the Indian
Ocean. He is just trying to deliver some cargo, drink bad coffee and fill out
paperwork when a group of Somali pirates shows up in a tiny skiff that looks
like it should capsize if someone sneezes.
The pirates board the ship with enthusiasm that suggests they skipped every
team-building seminar known to man. Their leader, Muse, announces “I am the
captain now” which instantly becomes the world’s most quoted line. Phillips
tries to reason with them using the universal language of middle-aged
managerial concern.
Eventually the pirates kidnap him in a lifeboat that resembles a bright orange
coffin. Tom Hanks spends the rest of the film sweating, negotiating and
looking like he would give anything for a nap. The US Navy arrives with enough
firepower to vaporise a small moon, which makes the pirates realise this was
not the best career move.
The film ends with a famous scene in which Hanks delivers the most convincing
performance of a man who has absolutely had enough. It is tense, gripping and
unexpectedly funny if you enjoy watching sophisticated global shipping
operations undone by four men in a boat that probably needs an oil change.
Success Rate: + 2.0
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