One Million Years B.C. (4 Stars)

I'm watching this film again today because I just heard about Raquel Welch's death. As I write these words, the cause of her death hasn't yet been made public.

The film was made by Hammer Studios in 1966. At the time there was a lot of hype about Raquel. She was called the world's sexiest woman. I never agreed with this description of her, not even when I was younger, but I still liked her. In the 1970's Playboy called her the world's most desired woman. Maybe it just meant that she was the woman Hugh Hefner desired the most. But let's put it into perspective with a little example. Let's say there are ten women, Raquel Welch and nine others. Ten men have to vote who they desire most. Raquel gets two votes, one woman gets no votes, and the other eight women get one vote each. In this hypothetical example, Raquel Welch is voted the most desired woman, even though 80% of the votes are against her.

The film begins with a serious voiceover, sounding like the film was made as a scientific broadcast for the Discovery Channel. We're told that the world is inhabited by dinosaurs and primitive human tribes. The tribes are small, and none of them know anything about one another. This is strange, because the two tribes we see in the film are close to one another. One tribe has dark hair, the other tribe is blond. Let's call them the Darkies and the Blondies.

Tumak is the son of the leader of the Darkie tribe. After an argument with his brother Sakana he leaves the tribe and walks aimlessly through the desert. He collapses from exhaustion and is rescued by Loana from the Blondie tribe.

This is the first glimpse we get of Raquel Welch as Loana.

She's catching fish with the other women of her tribe. She seems to be having fun.

Tomak is accepted into the Blondie tribe, despite his hair colour. Those were the good old days before racism was invented. Maybe people weren't so primitive a million years ago.

Tomak's main interest is in Loana. A million years ago she was the world's most desired woman.

The decision was made to have the people speak in a prehistoric language. I wouldn't have minded them speaking English. I can suspend disbelief. The vocabulary is very limited. Most conversations are made up of the people saying one another's names. The sentences are all one word utterances. "Nakon" means "Kill". "Krast" means "Go away". Other words are "Nian", "Nedi" and "Akita", but I haven't been able to figure out what they mean. I could make guesses, but I'd rather not. Maybe the studio's production notes include a word list.

The film is an example of Ray Harryhausen's skills in special effects. While not up to Jurassic Park standards, it's still amazing how realistic he could make dinosaurs look without the use of computers. He was a genius, far ahead of his time. If you want to see how good he was, just compare him with films made by other special effects artists of his day. Nobody even came close.

Raquel Welch
September 5, 1940 – February 15, 2023

Farewell to Raquel Welch. She was a beautiful actress who will never be forgotten.

Success Rate:  + 17.0

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