Off-Topic: Eurovision Song Contest 2026

Last night I watched the entire Eurovision Song Contest for the first time since... ever. I vaguely remember watching it when I lived with my parents, but I don't think I made it through the whole show. Since leaving home I've never watched it. Most years I've even boasted that I avoided listening to any of the songs, neither the English song, nor the German song, nor the winning song.

So why did I sit down to watch the show last night? I wanted to see if it's still as bad as everyone says. And yes, it really was bad. I picked a couple of songs that were my favourites, but all that meant was that they weren't quite as bad as the others. At the end of the evening I felt that I'd wasted four hours of my life. Or rather four and a half hours, because I watched a German after-show with interviews. I was fascinated by the wild eyes of the show's host, Barbara Schöneberger. Or maybe I was just too tired to get up and go to bed. I was almost at the end of my Samtrot Spätlese. I needed a bottle of wine to get me through four hours of terrible music.

Barbara interviewed the winners, the German entry and the main singer with the Austrian group.

Those are the official results. My personal favourite was Romania's song, which finished in third place. I wouldn't say it was the best song, I'd say it was the least bad song.

I finally flopped into bed about 2 am. When I woke up I opened the BBC news page, as I do every morning, and I read the headline "Bulgaria wins Eurovision and UK comes last". That's all anyone needed to know who hadn't watched the contest. Barely veiled disappointment that the UK did badly yet again. From what I've heard, the UK has done badly in the Eurovision Song Contest every year since 2003. That's a long time.

Then I checked the German news site Bild.de. Not because it's the best site, but because the better news sites charge money to read them. Wow! Total depression, even worse than the BBC. The editorial suggested that Germany should no longer participate in the ESC because "nobody appreciates our songs". Talk about sore losers.

But at least Bild made one comment that made me think. "The UK has given the world the best music for the last 65 years, so why are the UK's Eurovision songs so bad?" No examples were given, but it's obvious what was meant. The Beatles, Black Sabbath, punk rock, new wave, etc. Where has the magic gone from British music? Has the magic disappeared in a puff of smoke? Or do we live in a world where people only want to listen to "Bangaranga"?