Avengers XXX (4½ Stars)

Axel Braun is a genius. There's no other way to describe him. Open-minded film fans have probably noticed the recent flood of so-called porn parodies onto the market. It's a popular trend. But not all the films are of the same quality. Those directed by Axel Braun are a level above everything else. Check the movie poster above. Unlike in Joss Whedon's official Avengers film Hawkeye's costume is correct. The attention to detail is first rate throughout the cast. Just look at the Scarlet Witch's costume. Perfect! The only problem is that this film also has Nick Fury's skin colour wrong.

The film starts out with the aftermath of a battle between the Hulk and the Abomination in Las Vegas. Nick Fury calls the Avengers together to plan the Hulk's capture. The party is gatecrashed by Spider-Man, who wants to join the Avengers but isn't accepted. During the following tense hours they argue with one another and have sex.

Axel certainly knows his comics. Captain America isn't the first Avenger, he's presented as the last Avenger in the film. He doesn't appear until the final scene. Once more there is great acting from Eric Masterson as Hawkeye. He's a man to watch.

Click here to view the trailer.

One thing that I hate is having to be on the defensive when I talk about Axel Braun's films. When I talk about him people reply "But I thought you liked real films". Like they have no value in themselves. On the one hand, this is intellectual snobbery. Porn films are thought of as bad just because they are porn. That's all. On the other hand, I do understand the embarrassment factor. After a family meal we can sit and watch "Silence of the Lambs". But putting on a porn film, even a good porn film, would create an awkward situation. I couldn't sit on the sofa watching humping bodies on screen with my parents or children. My mother even used to make comments when there were brief nude scenes in mainstream films on television. "Why do they have to show that?" For her it was the height of bad taste for Kate Winslet to bare her breasts in "Titanic". Pornography is a guilty pleasure in our society. It's thought of as something men watch when they're alone in order to "get off". It's true, I've seen primitive porn videos that are at that level. To me they were disgusting, no artistic content whatsoever. It will take a long time for this stigma to be shaken off.

Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills (4 Stars)

Doug lives in Cleveland with his wife Kate, where he works as a psychic and hypnotist. He's not very good at either, though his wife humours him. Then they inherit a house in Beverly Hills from his aunt. At first they're happy when they move in, but they soon realise that since they only inherited a house, not money, their financial problems aren't over yet. Their neighbours are a film producer and the owner of an oil company. They try to blend in, but when the neighbours see posters of Doug performing his act they ridicule him. But then a mysterious stranger hands Doug a mystical pendant and promises him immediate success as a hypnotist.

The film reunites the regular stars of Fred Olen Ray's films: Ted Newsom, Tony Marino and Evan Stone. But the actor who really amazed me is Eric Masterson, who plays the role of Doug. His performance made me sit up and take notice. He's the best new actor I've seen in a long time. All the other actors, both male and female, seem like amateurs next to him. So I checked him out on IMDB, and he's hardly a newcomer. He's appeared in 449 films since 1998. Most of them seen to be hard porn films, but in my opinion he's wasting his talent. On the basis of this film I'd say he can make a big career in mainstream films. I'm not exaggerating when I say that he seems to be one of the best actors alive today. I'll have to check some of his other films. He fascinates me.

In case you're wondering what "Hypno Vista" is, it's subliminal messages flashed onto the screen during the film. They only appear for one frame, so you're aware there's a message but you can only read it if you play the film in slow motion. I did this in a few sections of the film, and the messages were remarkable only for their dullness. A typical message during a sex scene is "Keep staring at my boobs". As if I weren't doing that anyway! Shouldn't the message be something like "Send Fred Olen Ray all your money"?

Overall it's a very enjoyable film. Mostly due to Eric Masterson, but the plot is also intriguing, and the other male actors perform adequately. Apart from Tony Marino, who manages to look bored every time he appears in a sex scene. The women who star in the film are all poor actresses, without exception, but they make up for it with good looks. I'll still rate the film highly, and I recommend it to my readers.

Lady Chatterley's Ghost (4 Stars)

Vera Montez is one of America's biggest actresses in the days of silent movies. Then talkies come, and nobody wants her any more. Her voice isn't good enough. Luckily she's saved enough to live a life of luxury after her forced retirement. For the next 50 years she dedicates herself to the study of the occult. Finally she dies, forgotten and unknown by our cruel world.

Flash forward to the present. Charles and Sandra are a wealthy married couple. Charles is a successful businessman, and they live together in a large house. They have everything they need. Except for love. Sandra is having an affair with the gardener, while Charles has various lovers. Charles has recently bought Sandra an old copy of "Lady Chatterley's Lover", and she becomes obsessed with the book.

Then Charles takes the bold step of hiring one of his lovers as the new maid. But he gets more than he bargained for. The maid is the ghost of Vera Montez, who has taken on flesh once more because she has been attracted by the book that once belonged to her. But what are her intentions? Does she want to help her new employers or destroy them?

This is an enjoyable film, directed by the master of soft porn himself, Fred Olen Ray. It might not be to everyone's taste, but I like it a lot. It seems that his plots are becoming more complicated over the last couple of years. I'll be reviewing a few more of Fred's films in the next few days.

Baby Dolls Behind Bars (3½ Stars)

Maggie Grey, a highly successful cat burglar, is finally arrested when she is caught attempting to steal a statue of the Goddess Phucket. A year later crimes are still taking place for which Maggie is the only suspect, but she has the perfect alibi: she's in prison. Police woman Sissy Dunlop is sent to the same prison, masquerading as an incarcerated jewel thief.

Don't be confused by the film's title. The story has nothing in common with the women-in-prison exploitation films of the 1970's. The film is directed by Fred Olen Ray, and as such it's a light-hearted soft porn. Apart from Sissy and Maggie we never see any of the other inmates. The true star of the film is Christine Nguyen, who plays the prison warden, Matron Grell. Something about her fascinates me. In every film she appears in she is bubbly and happy in a way that makes me smile. Also noteworthy is Dale Dabone as the judge.

Theodore Rex (4 Stars)

In the near future dinosaurs have been brought back to life, recreating them by using their DNA. Just like in "Jurassic Park". But that's where the similarity between the two films ends. In "Theodore Rex" dinosaurs have been integrated into society. This film is named after the title character, nicknamed Teddy, who is the first dinosaur to become a police detective. Together with his partner Kitty Coltrane, played by Whoopi Goldberg, he investigates a series of murders that lead to a plot by a fiendish mastermind who wants to create a new ice age and destroy the world so that he can recreate it in his own image.

This film has the dubious honour of being the most expensive direct to video film ever made, having cost a total of $42 million. From the beginning it had problems. Whoopi Goldberg signed up for the film when she was still a relatively unknown actress. After the success of "Sister Act" she decided she didn't want to make the film any more. With the possibilty of being sued for breach of contract hanging over her head an out-of-court settlement was made: she received an additional payment of $7 million and it was agreed that the film wouldn't be shown in cinemas until after "Sister Act 2". Evidently the film studio thought Whoopi was necessary to make the film a big hit. So the film was made in 1993. The studios held it back a year. And another year. Eventually they just didn't know what to do with it. It had originally been pitched as a children's film (sort of "Lethal Weapon meets Barney"), but the finished product was obviously not suitable for children. So the studios gave up, cut their losses and released it directly to video.

In my opinion it's not actually a bad film. Armin Mueller-Stahl is excellent as the evil mastermind, Elizar Kane. Juliet Landau is stunning as his beautiful but evil assistant. Richard Roundtree is another good actor in the cast. And I have to say that Whoopi looks sexy in black leather. I don't understand why the film is ridiculed by critics and fans alike. It's a warped film for people with a warped sense of humour. Watch it and make up your own mind.

Click here to view the trailer.

Music Video: Knorkator, Buchstabe

I didn't intend to post any more music videos, but this song by Knorkator is too good for me to resist. I've added an English translation for those unfortunate enough not to understand German.

I have a PhD,
I studied 13 years in Berkeley and Heidelberg.
Now my life's work is complete,
No more waiting,
Rejoice, you can have it!
I'm giving the German alphabet the 31st letter.

It's the Ψ

I reject all linguistic arguments,
And whoever pays me a license fee can use it.
It's suitable for many words:
Potato, Postman, Sherbet, Nipple, Bread.

It's the Ψ

It will take over the world
From Braunschweig to Britain.
Shout it from the rooftops and rejoice.

It's the Ψ

Okay, okay... here's the original German text for those who want to compare. And yes, I know that the translation of the last verse is inaccurate.

Ich bin Doktor der Philologie,
Ich habe 13 Jahre geforscht
In Berkeley und in Heidelberg.
Nun ist es fertig mein Lebenswerk,
Das große Warten hat ein Ende.
Frohlocket, ihr könnt es haben,
Ich schenke dem deutschen Alphabet
Den 31. Buchstaben.

Es ist das Ψ

Die linguistischen Bedenken
Kann ich getrost vom Schreibtisch putzen,
Und wer an mich Gebühren bezahlt,
Kann es ganz nach Gefühl benutzen.
Es eignet sich für viele Worte:
Ψatkartoffel, Ψiefträger,
Ψausepulver, Ψustwarze
Oder Ψotschneidemaschine.

Es ist das Ψ

Es Ψicht herein in allen Ψanchen,
In Ψaunschweig und GroßΨitanien,
Ψüllt es nun von allen Ψücken,
Wälzt euch in Ψachialem Entzücken.

Es ist das Ψ

Fragments (4 Stars)

This film is based on the novel "Winged Creatures", written by Roy Freirich. If anything, it is a treatise on chaos theory. A random event happens. A madman enters a diner, shoots guests at random, then kills himself. The film then follows the effects this event has on five of the survivors and their relationships to their families.

Bruce Laraby, a surgeon, loses his operating skills. He begins to experiment with an untested migraine medicine on his wife.

Carla, a waitress, loses her affection for her son.

Anne, a teenage girl, becomes deeply religious, alienating her non-religious mother.

Jimmy, a school friend of Anne's, loses his ability to speak. This causes arguments in his family.

Charlie abandons his daughter and lives in a hotel, spending his days gambling.

The randomness of the film might make it difficult for many people to enjoy. But this is what real life is all about. Things happen which have consequences. If a stone falls in the water the waves ripple long distances and have no connection to one another, apart from the initial stone.

The novel is not completely original. It copies ideas from the Japanese film "Eureka", made in 2000, which deals with the effect that a killing spree on a bus has on the surviving passengers. In "Eureka" Naoki becomes mute and only communicates with his sister Kozue, just as Jimmy only communicates with Anne via the Internet in "Fragments". I can only rate "Fragments" by comparing it with "Eureka", and "Eureka" is the better film.

Click here to view the trailer.

Jack and the Beanstalk (3½ Stars)

This is the 2010 version of the film. According to IMDB this fairy tale has been filmed 15 times since 1902, though the first few films were short films, not full length features. In the early days of films it was rare for a film to last more than 20 minutes.

This is a children's film, but although made for children it's a smart film that adults can appreciate. In fact, there are subtleties in the film that young viewers will probably miss. For instance, in the schoolroom scene the teacher has drawn a flux capacitor on the blackboard, the artifice used for time travel in "Back to the Future".

The film has metafilm elements. Jack is a young boy who goes to a school for fairy tale characters. The children have all picked roles that they are learning to adopt. Jack is sitting in class with the Sleeping Beauty, Hansel and Gretel, Rapunzel, Prince Charming and others. Jack alone doesn't have a role. He wants to be a hero, but he doesn't know how. Maybe his name should have been a clue?

In a spontaneous act of sacrifice he goes to the pawn shop and exchanges his favorite video game for three beans. And so the adventure begins.....

I have difficulty rating children's films. If I rated this within the parameters of children's films I should rate it higher. But subjectively, for me as a person who is long out of childhood, I found it only moderately entertaining. A good film for the family, but I doubt I'll watch it again.

Click here to view the trailer.

Bloodrayne 2: Deliverance (3 Stars)

America in the 1880's. Deliverance is a small town on the frontier. It's a peaceful town in which nothing much ever happens, but that is due to change. The railway line is almost complete, and a week from now the first train will arrive in Deliverance, opening the town up to the world. But before that happens the peace is broken. Billy the Kid arrives in town, and he's a vampire. Rayne, who we already know from the first film, arrives in the town to take him on.

Although I like the idea of setting a vampire film in a western environment, the film doesn't really succeed. The action is too slow-paced and couldn't make me jump up from my seat. Natassia Malthe replaces Kristanna Loken in the title role, but despite her beauty she doesn't project enough sex appeal to save the film. Another problem is that the film takes place mostly at night and the picture is too dark to clearly see what's happening. Yes, I know it's a vampire film, but they could have filmed it a bit brighter.

Click here to view the trailer.

Acts of Betrayal (3½ Stars)

Matt McColm is an actor who deserves to be better known. I've admired him ever since I saw him in the title role of the tv series "Nightman". He's had a few small roles in films such as "The Matrix", but most of his performances are anonymous as a stuntman. "Acts of Betrayal" is the only film in which he plays the leading role, so it's a shame that it falls flat. Not because of Matt's acting abilities. He can't be faulted. The problem is that the film is so vapid. It's difficult to put my finger on the problem. It just seems cheap.

Maria Conchita Alonso plays Eva Ramirez, a woman who was the lover of a mafia boss and now wishes to testify against him. For two years she's hidden in witness protection in Frederickville, Arizona. On the day she has to be picked up for the trial a gang of ex-soldiers attack the town to kill her. Together with FBI agent Lance Cooper (Matt McColm) she goes on the run.

Not a bad concept in itself, but the film could have been made better. I wish I could have rated it higher. Let's hope that Matt is given another opportunity to show his talent.

Click here to view the trailer.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (4 Stars)

Have you ever suffered from a severe case of writer's block? That's me with this film. I've been staring at this blank page for over an hour. Let me just make a few comments, and maybe I'll build up momentum as I go along.

This is the first film in the Millennium Trilogy, three books written by Swedish author Stieg Larsson but not published till after his death. The three films were released in Sweden in quick succession, between March and November 2009.

The films have long fascinated me, so when I saw they were on sale cheap on Blu-ray I grabbed them. After watching the first film I'm not disappointed, I liked it a lot, but it's not what I expected. I thought it would be an action film. Not at all. It's a criminal investigation, like a police detective story, except the person investigating is a reporter, not a policeman.

The story: Mikael Blomkvist is a reporter for a magazine called Millennium. He has investigated a billionaire, but he was set up. False information was deliberately fed to him, and now he has been sued for libel and is sentenced to three months in prison. But the sentence will not begin until six months later. Is that usual in Sweden? I couldn't imagine a prison sentence in England being deferred by more than a few days. Usually it begins immediately after conviction.

During these six months he is hired by another industrialist, Henrik Vanger. Forty years ago, in 1966, his 16-year-old niece Harriet had disappeared during a family meeting, and he assumes that one of his family members has killed her. The police has long given up on the case, but Vanger thought Blomkvist might be able to unearth something. And he does. He finds notes in Harriet's diary that point to religiously motivated murders that had been committed between 1949 and 1965.

So where does the girl with the tattoo fit in? Vanger had previously hired a company to check up on Blomkvist, to decide if he was suitable for the job. The company used a computer hacker called Lisbeth Salander to spy on him. After discovering he was being watched Blomkvist asked Salander to help him with the case. She's the one with the tattoo.

A very good film. I wonder if the recent Hollywood remake with Daniel Craig even comes close? Somehow I'm scared to find out.

Click here to view the trailer. If "Van Helsing" has a good trailer, this is a bad trailer. It wrongly gives the impression that this is an action film by just picking out the very few exciting moments.

Music Video: Hanne Sorvaag, Crash and Burn

This is a beautiful song, though I admit that I didn't post the video because of the song itself. The scenery is spectacular. I know that tastes differ, but for me Norway is the only country that I consider to be as beautiful as Scotland. Watch it and see what I mean.



The video features Magnus Carlsen, the world's best chess player. I've been a fan of his for years. I started following his career when he was 13 and considered a child prodigy. He is now 21, and even though he's been rated the world's best player since 2010 he has boycotted the last two world chess championships. Everybody knows he's the best, so he has no reason to prove himself. Actions like this are not untypical in the chess world. The previous #1 rated player, Gary Kasparov, refused to take part in the world championship matches for years, even creating an alternative organisation with its own champion. The world's best female player, Judit Polgar, refuses to take part in the women's world championship because she says that other women play too badly and it's boring to play against them.

Magnus with Liv Tyler

Van Helsing (5 Stars)

I ignored this film for years. The reviews made it sound like the plot is silly. And yes, it is. By all accounts this is a ridiculous film. Dracula's nemesis Van Helsing has been re-invented and put at the centre of a "Best of Universal Horror" extravaganza. We don't just see Dracula, we see Frankenstein, Mr. Hyde and the Wolfman. I was waiting for the Mummy to appear, though it might have stretched things too far to relocate him to Transylvania.

This isn't a horror film. Far from it. It's a fast paced action romp, a James Bond story set in the 19th Century. And that's why I like it. Pure escapism. Who cares that the plot is ridiculous and doesn't make sense? It's fun from beginning to end. Even though Dracula's brides fly around looking more like harpies than vampires.

Hugh Jackman plays the main character, Gabriel (not Abraham) Van Helsing. He doesn't portray the character as accurately as Anthony Hopkins in "Dracula", but he's a better Bond. Kate Beckinsale is the ultimate action goth girl, playing the Transylvanian noblewoman who assists Van Helsing in his battle. I'd love to see her as a Bond girl. Or better still, as Gabrielle Van Helsing.

Click here to view the trailer. This is actually an example of a good film trailer. Trailers should be between 60 and 90 seconds, give an accurate impression of the film, and avoid spoilers. So many film trailers are too long, or give too much away by including scenes from late in the film. Or the trailer gives the wrong impression of the type of film it is. If any of my readers want something to do, browse through my older reviews and find examples of bad film trailers. I look forward to hearing from you.

By the way, I know a lot of my regular readers are personal friends who like to give me their comments on my reviews in person. While I appreciate that you read my blog, please leave your comments here in the blog itself. That will encourage others who don't know me personally to also write comments and get a discussion going.

Off-Topic: America goes to the polls

Today Americans will be voting for their next president. Will Barak Obama get a second term? Will Mitt Romney become the new president?

I lived in America for a few years, long enough to compare it with other countries, so I feel qualified to say that the result doesn't really matter. People who have lived in America all their lives are blind to the fact that the present two-party system gives them no choice. There might be slight differences on issues of government control and taxation, but the bottom line is that both parties are right wing parties, one leaning slightly more right than the other. Only slightly.

Did the Americans really think that Obama would take the troops out of Afghanistan four years ago? Obama said he would, and the Americans were foolish enough to believe him. He never intended to do it for one moment. It was just election rhetoric to make himself the world's most powerful man.

America needs a real change. The only way to do this is to create a third political party. And a fourth. Maybe more. To take an example from Germany, there are six parties represented in the current central government:

Christian Democratic Union: 31%
Social Democratic Party: 24%
Free Democratic Party: 15%
Communist Party: 12%
Green Party: 11%
Christian Socialist Union: 7%

I'm not saying that I support any or all of the above parties. All I'm saying is that the Germans have a choice. The Americans don't. So be naive. Go out and cast your ballot today. Whoever wins, the next four years will be the same as the last four. The only hope for America is to start work on a new political party that will be able to make a real difference.

The Disappearance of Alice Creed (5 Stars)

Vic and Danny are two ex-convicts who kidnap a rich man's daughter and hold her to ransom for two million pounds ($3.2 million). The opening scenes show how they prepare the kidnap so meticulously that the film could be used as a how-to-kidnap guide. The film turns into a psychological thriller as the three people, Vic, Danny and Alice, are confined in a small place waiting for the payment to be made.

I have to give this film 5 stars, if only for daring to be different. It's not just a low budget film, it's minimalist. The three main characters are the only actors, there aren't even any extras. This must have been a big strain on actors used to roles in "normal" films. The three actors each put in amazing performances. I didn't recognise Eddie Marsan who plays Vic, but after checking IMDB I realised that he's the actor who played Titch in "Pierrepoint". Martin Compston (Danny) is a total unknown to me. I know the actress who plays Alice, of course. Gemma Arterton has starred in "Quantum of Solace", "The boat that rocked" and "Tamara Drewe". But this is her most outstanding performance so far, and it will be difficult to beat. A role like this demanded the maximum, and she didn't fall short.

The script is well written. It has to be to keep the viewer interested. I don't want to reveal too much, but the plot has unexpected twists that will make the viewer jump up and say "Wow! I never saw that one coming!" This is a brilliant film

Click here to view the trailer.

Nude Nuns with Big Guns (4½ Stars)

A lot of fans of "serious films" might pass this by because of the sleazy title. They should think again. The film is a well-crafted gem, a prime example of the quality that independent film makers can achieve. A modern day spaghetti western.

Somewhere in the deep south of the USA, close to the Mexican border, the Catholic Church is making money by making and selling drugs. The nuns are used as unpaid workers. Those who don't comply are beat up or sent to work in a brothel. The main buyer/distributor of the drugs is a man called Carlos, head of a gang called Los Muertos. Sister Sarah has a vision in which God tells her to punish those who have sinned against Him. Driven by her faith, she goes on a killing spree.

If you read other reviews you will see that opinions are divided. Some find the film awful, others call it a classic. I find it difficult to understand how anyone could dislike it. It's a well structured film with a good balance of action and dialog. It's never dull, not for a moment. Neither the sex nor the violence is overly explicit. Clear the prejudices from your mind and check it out.

Click here to view the trailer.

Blubberella (unrated)

After careful consideration, I've decided not to give this film a rating. I didn't realise until after I'd watched it that it's a spoof of "Bloodrayne 3", which I haven't watched yet. Director Uwe Boll, well known for cutting costs without skimping on quality, wanted to make two films for the price of one. He filmed "Bloodrayne 3" and "Blubberella" at the same time, using the same actors and the same sets. Immediately after filming a scene for "Bloodrayne 3" he would call the actors back to make a comedy version of the same scene. This way he could make two films for the price of one. Or as he says in an interview, "If Blubberella makes a 25% loss I'll still make an 80% profit". Smart man.



The film style repeatedly breaks through the third wall. (Or is it the fourth wall? I've heard the two terms used interchangeably). In one scene the resistance leader asks his men if they want to assault a German convoy. They don't want to, so he replies, "We have to, it's in the script". There are frequent anachronisms that jarred on me at first, but I began to appreciate them as the film continued.

The plot in brief: Blubberella is an 800-year-old dhampir, half human and half vampire, living in Germany in 1940. She uses the website www.hebrew-hookup.org to date Jewish boys, but Hitler's policy of deporting Jews is making it difficult to find a boyfriend. She joins the resistance to put a stop to it, with the final goal of persuading Hitler to return to a simple life as a painter. Things don't go as easily as planned. When she finds a trainload of Jews the deputy leader of the resistance group, a gay man called Vadge, refuses to free them because of their bad fashion sense. Tasteless, but nevertheless funny. The humour even continues into the final credits:

"Extra special thanks to Adolf Hitler for making so many great movies possible."

I'll rewatch this film after I've seen "Bloodrayne 3" and give a final verdict then.

Bloodrayne (3½ Stars)

The story takes place in 18th Century Europe. Rayne is a dhampir, the offspring of a vampire and a human. She's been captured by a travelling carnival and is being put on show as a freak. Until one day she escapes and vows to take revenge on her father (the vampire Kagan) for killing her mother. To do this she allies herself with an organisation of vampire hunters called Brimstone.

Kristanna Loken, best known for her role as a killing machine in "Terminator 3", is a beautiful woman, but in this film she somehow lacks sex appeal. Michael Madsen is an often criticised actor, but he puts in a good performance as the leader of Brimstone. Ben Kingsley gives a very impressive performance as the cool, reserved Kagan.

Maybe it's unfair that I'm giving this film so low a rating. The film's main weakness was made necessary by its very concept: it's a film based on a computer game. I've never played the game, but watching the film I can see all the elements of a game, so I suspect that the story is based closely on the game itself. There are quests, journeys, clues, and battles with monsters at key points. At so many points throughout the film I could see the main characters doing things immediately that as a game player I would have finally done by trial and error. That disturbed me, which is why I couldn't rate the film any higher. Please leave your comments about this film.

Click here to view the trailer.

Adventures of Power (4 Stars)

I bought this DVD a few weeks ago, but didn't watch it till today because I was only watching horror films last month. All this time it's been lying next to my computer and I've been itching to watch it. The suspense was increasing daily. Would it live up to the expectations I'd had ever since first seeing the trailer?

Power Oblas lives in Lode, New Mexico, a town built up around copper mining. He's in his late 20's, but he's still single and lives in a single room with his aunt. Why not at least with his father, the copper mine's union leader? Obviously his father is disappointed with him. He'd given his son the name Power to inspire him to great things, but now that he's adult his father says he looks gay. Power's passion is classic rock, in particular Rush and Styx, and he constantly air drums to their music.

Due to paycuts a strike is looming in the mine. Power is fired for air drumming at work literally minutes before the strike begins. This misfortune turns out to be his lucky break. No longer having to work, he travels to Mexico where he discovers an illegal air drumming society. He barely escapes arrest when a meeting is broken up by the Mexican police -- "All air drummers and gamblers are under arrest!" -- and flees to New Jersey to join a group of like-minded air drummers.

His adventures on the east coast of the USA, far, far away from his home in New Mexico, show how his passion for music and air drumming turns his life around. He overcomes adversity to become famous, find a girlfriend, save his home town and become reconciled with his father.

By all accounts this is an unusual film. It presents a serious message hidden within a shell of comedy. Having said that, I don't really find the film funny. I can relate to Power too well to be able to laugh at his exploits. The main message of the film is that you should be true to yourself and follow your dream, even if you're ridiculed. A secondary, though just as important message, is the power of music to fulfil a person. This is a wonderful feel-good film that I strongly recommend to my friends and readers.

Click here to view the trailer.

In his introduction writer/director Ari Gold, who also plays the part of Power, says he wishes that he could be sitting with the viewers in their living room to discuss the movie. I wish he could do that as well. His bubbling passion for the movie, as shown in the interviews and commentaries on the disk, is very addictive. This was the first film he's directed, and it's a breath of fresh air in the stale world of the big business politics of the film industry. Let's hope he makes many more films.

Planet Terror (4½ Stars)

This is my 15th and final Horror film for October. Yes, I know it's November already, I'm late writing the review. And actually, I'm disappointed with my readers. I made a mistake and you didn't tell me. I counted wrong, so it's really only my 14th film. "Young Frankenstein" was the 7th film and my next post, "Female Vampire", was the 9th. I miscounted and skipped a number. Maybe next year I'll make a list of the films in advance so I don't get mixed up. Or maybe I should just pay more attention.

Anyway, back to this film which I watched on the evening of Halloween, an excellent climax to my October horror month. An excellent new film in the good old grindhouse style of the 70's. It's one of the new wave of zombie films. Zombies with a scientific background. It's a mutation caused by a highly contagious virus that was created by America to wage biological warfare in Afghanistan. Although it's an enjoyable horror movie in its own right, it can only be fully appreciated in comparison with the films that it's paying homage to. Fans of the old horror films will love this. Fans of modern horror films will probably like it as well, but they'll grin and call it corny.

I''m not sure what to write about the plot, so I'll just quote the product description:

Maverick director Robert Rodriguez's take on the zombie infestation genre. In a plot-line that may seem familiar, government scientists at a remote Texan facility have managed to unleash a deadly virus that turns normal, healthy citizens into raving, murdering mutants. With the hordes of crazed psychotics multiplying at an unstoppable rate, it's a spatterfest all the way as go-go-dancer Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan), mysterious drifter El Wray (Freddy Rodriguez), and professional smuggler Abby (Naveen Andrews) have to force an escape route to a helicopter that is their only chance of escape.

Although it doesn't reach the same heights as Robert Rodriguez's other films, "From Dusk Till Dawn" and "Machete", this is still a must-watch for fans of retro horror.

Click here to view the trailer.

Music Video: Blutengel, Vampire Romance (Live)

My last music video seems to have been well accepted, so here's another one. An incredible live performance by Blutengel. Halloween is over, but the vampires live on.

Bram Stoker's Dracula (5 Stars)

This film is often referred to as "Dracula", but its full name gives a more accurate impression of what the film is about. When Francis Ford Coppola decide to make the film in the 1990's there were already two iconic figures of Dracula known to moviegoers worldwide. Bela Lugosi and Chistopher Lee are very different, in appearance and character, but both symbolise Dracula. Bela Lugosi is charming and evil, Chistopher Lee is just evil. Coppola justified making a new Dracula film by saying "Everyone knows the films, but nobody has read the book. I want to bring the book to the big screen". When the actors met to make the film he made them spend the first two days reading the book. They sat round a table taking turns reading the book aloud. This gave them a feel for the original work, which he wanted to reproduce on screen as accurately as possible.

What strikes me most, as someone who has seen many adaptations of the Dracula story, is the romantic poignancy. From the very beginning scenes we develop sympathy, even affection for Dracula. We can feel for Mina, played to perfection by Winona Ryder, as the young girl torn between two men. In other adaptations she is hypnotised by Dracula; in this film she feels a genuine romantic attachment to him. The casting throughout is perfect. I wouldn't have picked Gary Oldman, but after watching the film he's obviously the best possible choice. Even Keanu Reeves slots perfectly into the role of the dull legal assistant Jonathan Harker.

Though based on the book, Coppola borrows imagery from Friedrich Murnau's "Nosferatu". Some of the dialog spoken in the castle is borrowed from Bela Lugosi's 1931 film. This imitation is always done respectfully, without a hint of parody. "Steal from the best" is a good motto. The film has a gothic feel to it, though less overbearing than Hammer's Dracula films. In my opinion this is the best adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel so far, and it's the film that's set the bar for future films.

P.S. This is my horror film #14 for November. I need to pick something extra special for tomorrow, since it's Halloween. This film would have been a good climax. It's difficult to follow.

We are the night (5 Stars)

If you can never die, what is there to live for?

This is my horror film #13 for October. I've disqualified "The Ninth Gate" from the list. My mistake. I wanted to watch 20 films, but I probably won't get there now. Maybe I should just try for 15?

I already reviewed the film when I watched it in March. I don't want to repeat myself, so check out the link. If anything I enjoyed the film even more the second time. This time I paid more attention to the love triangle and the romantic nuances. Luise and Tom both love Lena, and she has to choose between them.

The film has only recently been released on DVD in England. It's in the stores now. On the cover it says "Lost Boys meets Twilight". I chuckled at that rather trite description, but it's not so inaccurate. The Berlin vampire coven is very much like a high society version of "Lost Boys". The girls live in a luxury hotel, not a cave, but they live for thrills in the same way. And it's a human-vampire romance, like "Twilight", but with the genders reversed.

This is the best vampire film that's been made for years. I've seen mixed reviews on other web sites. If I understand the reviewers correctly, they were disappointed because the film wasn't what they expected. It doesn't glamorize vampires. Their skin doesn't shine like diamonds. They're not all bad either. They're not heartless monsters like Dracula in the Hammer films. They're very practical. They don't kill people because they're evil, they just do it because they need the blood.

The Ninth Gate (5 Stars)

This should have been my horror film #13 for October, but it looks like I got my genres mixed up. On watching again I realised that it's not a horror, it's a supernatural thriller. Nevertheless, it's one of my favorite ever films, so it was worth watching again. And writing about.

I was fortunate enough to see this film in the cinema when it was first released in 2000. It was the film that first made me appreciate Johnny Depp as an actor. Depp plays Dean Corso, a shady book dealer in New York. Within the first five minutes we see examples of his devious business tricks and we hate him already. Corso is hired by millionaire book collector Boris Balkan (Frank Langella) to track down copies of a rare book called "The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows". Only three copies are known still to exist. Balkan has one copy, but he suspects the other two are fakes, so he lends Corso his copy to compare with the other two which are currently in Portugal and France.

So far it sounds dull, doesn't it? Corso himself thinks of this as a routine job, until people around him are killed and his own life is threatened in an attempt to steal the book. A mystery woman follows him from America to Europe, protecting him from harm. At first he thinks she has been hired by Balkan, but he soon discovers that she has her own agenda.

Other reviewers compare this film with "Rosemary's Baby". I don't really see why. Both films were directed by Roman Polanski, and both films deal with the supernatural, but that's where the similarity ends. Whereas the supernatural element is blatant in "Rosemary's Baby", in "The Ninth Gate" it isn't until close to the end of the film that we find out that supernatural powers really are at work, they're not just the imagination of Balkan and the other book collectors.

It was a brave move by Polanski to make the film's main character someone unpleasant. Johnny Depp plays the role of the anti-hero to perfection. Early on he's jokingly referred to as a "book detective", but this is what he is in the film. He's like the detective in film noir movies, but he's not investigating a murder, he's investigating books.

Click here to view the trailer.

Music Video: Santa Hates You, Nothing's gonna be alright

This is something I haven't done in this blog before. Posting a music video. Maybe I'll do it more often, maybe not. I'll leave it for you, my loyal readers, to decide. My favorite group, Santa Hates You, released their fourth album last month. It's very exciting, so I hope you will all check it out. This video is definitely on topic for my Halloween horror month.



P.S. Play it loud, preferably over headphones.

Horsemen of the Apocalypse (4 Stars)

This is my horror film #12 for October. In America the title of the film is simply "Horsemen". While "Glass House" is a cross between a horror and a thriller, this film is a cross between a detective story and a horror. Its strength lies in the mixture of the two genres. The film is directed Jonas Akerlund who is better known as a director of controversial music videos, in particular for Rammstein, Madonna and Lady Gaga.

Dennis Quaid plays Aidan Breslin, a police detective struggling to be a single father since losing his wife to cancer. His children, Alex (16) and Shaun (7) feel neglected, because he is always being called away on an urgent case when he's promised to spend time with them. I think the city where the action takes place is Chicago. Maybe one of my readers who recognises the skyline can verify this.

A farmer outside of the city finds a bowl full of teeth on a frozen lake. On surrounding trees the words "Come and see" are written in blood. Aidan is called to the scene since he is an expert in dental forensics. No body is found, but the teeth are identified as belonging to a man already reported missing. In quick succesion two murders take place in which the victim is found suspended from hooks surrounded by the words "Come and see". Aidan realises that the killings have a connection to the four horsemen of the apocalypse in the prophecies of Revelation 6 and expects a fourth killing. Kristin Spitz, the daughter of one of the victims, produces the unborn baby that she has removed from her mother's womb and confesses to the killing. For her being arrested is a game, because it gives her an opportunity to play with the men interrogating her. She announces proudly that the killings will continue without her until Hell on Earth ensues.

This is a powerful drama with many chilling moments making it worthy of being classified as a horror. The final explanation of the mystery is weaker than the story leading up to it. For me the most impressive person in the film is Ziyi Zhang who plays Kristin. She's pure evil while remaining stunningly beautiful.

Click here to view the trailer. After watching it you'll be determined to see the film.

The Shiver of the Vampires (4½ Stars)

This is my horror film #11 for October. It's a film made in 1971 by the undisputed king of vampire films, Jean Rollin. This was his third vampire film after "The Rape of the Vampire" and "The Nude Vampire". The imagery is stunning from beginning to end. In this film he also experiments with psychedelic music that sounds very mid-60's-ish. As far as I remember this is the only film in which he used this type of music for the soundtrack.

Antoine and Isle have just got married. Isle is still in her wedding dress. They're driving to Italy on her honeymoon, but Isle wants to make a detour to the castle where her cousins live, who she hasn't seen since she was a young girl. She has vague memories of them being strange but interesting. Later in the film we find out the reason for their strangeness: they are vampire hunters. Or at least they used to be. Since Isle last saw them they failed to kill a vampiress and have become vampires themselves. They now share their castle with three vampiresses.

Isle is obviously an old-fashioned girl who has remained a virgin until marriage. The marriage is never consummated. On the wedding night she leaves her husband to follow one of the vampiresses, who then becomes her lover. Antoine then has to fight to win his wife back.

This is a film that you will either love or hate, like all films made by Jean Rollin. The plot is complex and not easy to follow. With the exception of the two cousins, the vampires hardly speak. The strength of the film is in the visual beauty and the moods created. It takes place in a beautiful castle outside a beautiful village and surrounded by beautiful scenery. And the beautiful vampiresses frequently lose their clothes. I consider Jean Rollin to have been a genius. His films can't be easily categorised because nobody else has ever made films like him.

Off-Topic: What must be said about Günter Grass

I wonder how many of my readers have heard of Günter Grass. Though widely unknown in the English speaking world, he's regarded as Germany's greatest author alive today. He has written many novels, poems and plays. In 1999 he was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. "The Tin Drum", a film based on his first novel, won an Oscar as the Best Foreign Language Film in 1979. He is known as a left wing thinker who criticises Germany's Nazi past, but in the last few years his reputation has been tarnished. In 2006 he confessed that he had been a member of the SS from 1944 to 1945. Then in 2012 he wrote a poem, "What must be said" ("Was gesagt werden muss"), that was first published in a major German newspaper on April 4th. In this poem he openly attacks the state of Israel.

This poem stirred up controversy in Germany. Grass became the hero of Germany's far right overnight. He was declared a persona non grata by Israel and forbidden entry to their country, despite having been a frequent visitor in the past. He held press conferences to defend himself against charges of anti-semitism, but nobody took his excuses seriously.

I planned to write a blog post about the poem in April when the topic was still hot, but decided against it. Most of my readers are from America, and the scandal poem had barely been mentioned in the press. Besides, I thought Grass would come to his senses and retract the poem. But no. In a live radio interview this week for his 85th birthday he once more attacked Israel, calling it an "unchecked nuclear power" and an "occupying force". This is why I can't remain silent any more. I have to take a stand and give my opinion.

Here is the English translation as printed in The Guardian on April 5th. The original German text follows at the end of this post.

What must be said

Why have I kept silent, held back so long,
on something openly practised in
war games, at the end of which those of us
who survive will at best be footnotes?

It's the alleged right to a first strike
that could destroy an Iranian people
subjugated by a loudmouth
and gathered in organized rallies,
because an atom bomb may be being
developed within his arc of power.

Yet why do I hesitate to name
that other land in which
for years – although kept secret –
a growing nuclear power has existed
beyond supervision or verification,
subject to no inspection of any kind?

This general silence on the facts,
before which my own silence has bowed,
seems to me a troubling, enforced lie,
leading to a likely punishment
the moment it's broken:
the verdict "Anti-semitism" falls easily.

But now that my own country,
brought in time after time
for questioning about its own crimes,
profound and beyond compare,
has delivered yet another submarine to Israel,
(in what is purely a business transaction,
though glibly declared an act of reparation),
whose speciality consists in its ability
to direct nuclear warheads toward
an area in which not a single atom bomb
has yet been proved to exist, its feared
existence proof enough, I'll say what must be said.

But why have I kept silent till now?
Because I thought my own origins,
tarnished by a stain that can never be removed,
meant I could not expect Israel, a land
to which I am, and always will be, attached,
to accept this open declaration of the truth.

Why only now, grown old,
and with what ink remains, do I say:
Israel's atomic power endangers
an already fragile world peace?
Because what must be said
may be too late tomorrow;
and because – burdened enough as Germans –
we may be providing material for a crime
that is foreseeable, so that our complicity
will not be expunged by any
of the usual excuses.

And granted: I've broken my silence
because I'm sick of the West's hypocrisy;
and I hope too that many may be freed
from their silence, may demand
that those responsible for the open danger
we face renounce the use of force,
may insist that the governments of
both Iran and Israel allow an international authority
free and open inspection of
the nuclear potential and capability of both.

No other course offers help
to Israelis and Palestinians alike,
to all those living side by side in enmity
in this region occupied by illusions,
and ultimately, to all of us.

My English readers might find this text flat and unpoetic and assume that the poetic style has been lost in the translation. I assure you that this is not the case. My German readers can verify that the text has none of the characteristics that would define it as a poem. The lines don't rhyme. There is no sentence rhythm. There is no alliteration. The only thing that makes it look like a poem is the irregular line breaks. If this text had been presented in class by a German schoolboy it would be rated a Fail. It has no artistic quality whatsoever. It is merely a political rant by a confused old man.

Now please don't get me wrong. I am a strong believer in free speech. Everyone should have the right to voice his opinion. I too don't hesitate to criticise certain people, organisations or countries. But this is a special case. Due to their history, Germans should be very careful before criticising Israel. Günter Grass especially should have the common sense to realise that as an ex-Nazi he is disqualified from uttering statements against Israel. The only reason he left the Nazi Party is because Germany lost the war. If Germany had won he would still be a Nazi today, and he would be writing anti-semitic poems for the government. He asks at the beginning of the poem why he kept silent so long. I can answer that for him. When he was younger he had enough understanding to know he should keep his thoughts to himself. Now that he's older his mental faculties are failing and he doesn't even realise how bad his statements are. He thinks that hiding his opinions behind flowery language makes them somehow good.

To talk about the subject matter of the poem itself, does Israel have the right to defend itself against Iran? Yes it does. But self-defence doesn't mean sitting back and waiting to be attacked. The Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has repeatedly stated that Israel should be wiped off the face of the map. Israel has the right to make a pre-emptive strike against Iran if this is the best way to save lives.

Modern rhetoric by Moslems and other anti-semitic groups claims that the Jews occupy land that has been stolen from the Palestinians. But the opposite is the case. Israel is a country that has belonged to the Jews for over 3000 years. It was stolen by the Arabs, and now the Jews are reclaiming it. But that doesn't mean that I support Israel unconditionally. The successive governments since 1948 have made many mistakes, mostly caused by striving to be a secular state. When Israel was founded as a unified state in 1006 BC it was a country based around the religion of its people. The leniency towards the Palestinians is the main reason for their problems. To quote from Numbers 33:51-55

"When you cross the Jordan into Canaan, drive out all the inhabitants of the land before you. Destroy all their carved images and their cast idols, and demolish all their high places. Take possession of the land and settle in it, for I have given you the land to possess. But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you will live."

I'm not a Jew, but it's obvious to me that this prophecy has been fulfilled. The Palestinians have not been expelled from Israel, and the high places have not been demolished. Israel should have torn down the Al-Aqsa Mosque years ago. Until this is done Israel will never have peace.
 
Günter Grass says in his poem that he is writing this poem "mit letzter Tinte", with his last ink. I sincerely hope that it was his last poem. We certainly don't want to hear any more from him. It's time for him to retire, before he ruins his reputation as a writer altogether.

Was gesagt werden muss

Warum schweige ich, verschweige zu lange,
was offensichtlich ist und in Planspielen
geübt wurde, an deren Ende als Überlebende
wir allenfalls Fußnoten sind?

Es ist das behauptete Recht auf den Erstschlag,
der das von einem Maulhelden unterjochte
und zum organisierten Jubel gelenkte
iranische Volk auslöschen könnte,
weil in dessen Machtbereich der Bau
einer Atombombe vermutet wird.

Doch warum untersage ich mir,
jenes andere Land beim Namen zu nennen,
in dem seit Jahren - wenn auch geheimgehalten -
ein wachsend nukleares Potential verfügbar
aber außer Kontrolle, weil keiner Prüfung
zugänglich ist?

Das allgemeine Verschweigen dieses Tatbestandes,
dem sich mein Schweigen untergeordnet hat,
empfinde ich als belastende Lüge
und Zwang, der Strafe in Aussicht stellt,
sobald er mißachtet wird;
das Verdikt "Antisemitismus" ist geläufig.

Jetzt aber, weil aus meinem Land,
das von ureigenen Verbrechen,
die ohne Vergleich sind,
Mal um Mal eingeholt und zur Rede gestellt wird,
wiederum und rein geschäftsmäßig, wenn auch
mit flinker Lippe als Wiedergutmachung deklariert,
ein weiteres U-Boot nach Israel
geliefert werden soll, dessen Spezialität
darin besteht, allesvernichtende Sprengköpfe
dorthin lenken zu können, wo die Existenz
einer einzigen Atombombe unbewiesen ist,
doch als Befürchtung von Beweiskraft sein will,
sage ich, was gesagt werden muß.

Warum aber schwieg ich bislang?
Weil ich meinte, meine Herkunft,
die von nie zu tilgendem Makel behaftet ist,
verbiete, diese Tatsache als ausgesprochene Wahrheit
dem Land Israel, dem ich verbunden bin
und bleiben will, zuzumuten.

Warum sage ich jetzt erst,
gealtert und mit letzter Tinte:
Die Atommacht Israel gefährdet
den ohnehin brüchigen Weltfrieden?
Weil gesagt werden muß,
was schon morgen zu spät sein könnte;
auch weil wir - als Deutsche belastet genug -
Zulieferer eines Verbrechens werden könnten,
das voraussehbar ist, weshalb unsere Mitschuld
durch keine der üblichen Ausreden

Und zugegeben: ich schweige nicht mehr,
weil ich der Heuchelei des Westens
überdrüssig bin; zudem ist zu hoffen,
es mögen sich viele vom Schweigen befreien,
den Verursacher der erkennbaren Gefahr
zum Verzicht auf Gewalt auffordern und
gleichfalls darauf bestehen,
daß eine unbehinderte und permanente Kontrolle
des israelischen atomaren Potentials
und der iranischen Atomanlagen
durch eine internationale Instanz
von den Regierungen beider Länder zugelassen wird.

Nur so ist allen, den Israelis und Palästinensern,
mehr noch, allen Menschen, die in dieser
vom Wahn okkupierten Region
dicht bei dicht verfeindet leben
und letztlich auch uns zu helfen.

Glass House (4 Stars)

This is my horror film #10 for October. Though marketed as a horror, it could be called a thriller. It's something halfway between the two. Usually when people talk about a "horror film" they think of a supernatural terror, or a seemingly invulnerable killer. "Glass House" is a more down to Earth horror film. It's about two children caught up in a situation they're helpless to escape from.

Ruby is 16, her brother Rhett is 11. They have kind and loving parents. One day their parents are killed in a car accident. The will puts them into the care of Terry and Erin Glass, friends who had lived next door to their parents 10 years ago. They are respectable people – Terry owns a car maintenance company and his wife is a doctor – but the children soon find out that they are trapped in a hostile environment.

The film stars Leelee Sobieski as Ruby and Stellan Skarsgard as Terry. Leelee is by far my favorite actress, ever since her roles as a teenager, and Stellan is also an actor I greatly admire. They play off one another perfectly as enemies in the film. Maybe after Halloween I should have a Leelee Sobieski month. I'll consider it.

Click here to view the trailer.

Female Vampire (3½ Stars)

This is my horror film #9 for October. Made in 1973, it's an unusual film by the Spanish director Jess Franco, famous for his horror and erotic films. Or a mixture of the two, as in this case. The original title was "The Devourers", but it's been released with many titles, such as "The Black Countess" and "Erotikill". "Female Vampire" is the name of its current release.

The film takes place on the island of Madeira. Countess Irina Karlstein, played by the stunningly beautiful Lina Romay, is a mute vampiress who walks around the island naked looking for men for sex and blood. Needless to say, she finds many willing victims, and the series of dead bodies alerts the island's police force. As the film poster above shows, she also kills women, but this seems to be an exception; in the film the only woman she kills is a reporter who has discovered she is a vampire. A mysterious stranger then arrives on the island who claims that he is destined to remain with the Countess forever.

In many ways this film is similar to the psychedelic imagery of Jean Rollin's films. What we see is more important than the plot itself. That is my main problem with the film. Rollin's films are at least comprehensible. This film leaves too many aspects unexplained. It isn't a bad film, but it's not a great film either. Fans of erotic vampire stories should check out Rollin's films instead.

Young Frankenstein (5 Stars)

Mel Brooks is probably best known for having written and directed "Blazing Saddles", but I consider this to be his best film. In fact, from a technical viewpoint I consider this to be the best parody film ever made. The atmosphere, the music, the cast and the situations are accurately mimicked from the 1930 Frankenstein films, but to perfect comic effect. Anyone who knows and loves the originals will be unable to stop laughing when he watches "Young Frankenstein".

The film was made in 1974, and this seems to be when the action took place, even though there is a retro style to the American scenes (the university and the train station). Gene Wilder plays the grandson of Victor von Frankenstein, a scientist trying to deny his past. His dramatic over-acting when he discovers his grandfather's notes, and as a consequence discovers himself, is unparallelled genius. He's always been a competent actor, but this is the peak of his career. Also worth mentioning is Marty Feldman, who plays the hunchback Igor in one of his few film roles.

There's no need to describe the plot. Anyone who knows the American Frankenstein films will be able to guess what happens next throughout the film.

P.S. This is my horror film #7 for October.

Nosferatu (5 Stars)

This is my horror film #6 for October, and it's a real classic. I'm reviewing the original 1922 version of "Nosferatu", not the 1979 remake by Walter Herzog. This is a landmark in film history. It was the first vampire film ever made, and one of the first full length horror films. And yet it's only by luck that the film has survived till today.

German director F. W. Murnau wanted to film Bram Stoker's "Dracula" novel, but couldn't get permission from Stoker's widow. She was probably biased against Germany after the Great War of 1914-1918. For this reason a screenplay was written that didn't mention Dracula. The vampire was Count Orlok from Transylvania, and the hapless real estate agent that he captured was Hutter who lived on the north coast of Germany with his wife Ellen. There was a madman who ate flies called Knock. The story was simplified -- it contains no equivalent of Lucy and her suitors -- but it was still too similar to Bram Stoker's novel for his widow to remain happy. She took the matter to court, and after a series of appeals and counter-appeals it was decreed that all prints of the film should be destroyed. Fortunately one copy of the film survived and was later found in a warehouse in London.

This film is incredible. It pushes the boundaries of what is possible in a silent film. It's amazing that the use of light and shadow for mood effects was so advanced in the early days of film making.

Julia's Eyes (4½ Stars)

This is my horror film #5 for October. I bought it on a friend's recommendation without even seeing a trailer for it, so I didn't know what to expect. But I have to say, it's an incredible film. It's one of the most terrifying films I've ever seen. Its strength is built up on suspense, and it has just enough gore to give it an additional shock element.

Julia and Sara are twin sisters. They both suffer from a degenerative eye disease. Sara's condition is more advanced, and she is the first to become blind. Unable to cope with her situation, she hangs herself in her cellar.

Though miles away, Julia feels Sara's death. Together with her husband she finds Sara's body. Since she suspects that there is more to the death than a simple suicide, she remains in the house to investigate. Julia's own eyesight becomes progressively worse, and at the same time she senses that someone is watching her, taking advantage of her poor eyesight. When her husband also commits suicide, hanging himself from the same rope, she becomes certain that someone or something is stalking her.

Brilliant. I've deducted half a star for the red herrings in the mystery, which I find out of place. Overall this is a five star film. And it's a difficult film to follow. What shall I watch tomorrow?

Click here to view the trailer.

Scream XXX (3½ Stars)

This is the second film in my October horror month. Or maybe the fourth film. I only decided to watch a series of horror films yesterday, but I had already watched "Tamara" and "Strippers vs Werewolves". It's a matter of definition.

"Scream XXX" isn't directed by Axel Braun, but as executive producer his influence is visible, even though the camerawork is rougher than what he would have delivered us. This film really is a parody, but that is what is to be expected from a film about a parody. It follows the metafilm structure of "Scream 2" and "Scream 3". We see the adventures of the cast, called by their real names, trying to make a film while being murdered one by one by an unknown killer. In many cases we don't know whether what we see is happening inside or outside the film until the camera pulls back and we see the camera crew.

A good film, though not up to the standard of those directed by Axel Braun himself.

Click here to view the trailer.

This ain't Dracula XXX (4½ Stars)

Today a friend of mine told me that she watches horror films every day in October to build up to Halloween. I don't know whether I'll watch a horror film every single day, but I'll definitely watch more than usual this month. I'm starting today with Axel Braun's version of the Dracula story. I've lost count of how many times the original Bram Stoker story has been remade. At least 50 times already, in so many different forms, from F. W. Murnau's "Nosferatu" to today. It's the most filmed story ever. Visually this film leans towards Francis Ford Coppola's 1992 version.

Evan Stone gives a masterful performance as Count Dracula. In my eyes he is more impressive than Gary Oldman. His love scene with Mina in Renfield's cell is the tenderest performance I have ever seen from him. He kisses and caresses her before he removes her gown to have sex. The first scene where the three brides seduce Jonathan Harker in his sleep is the sexiest vampire scene I've ever seen.

As I've mentioned when reviewing other films directed by Axel Braun, his films are called parodies, but that's the wrong word to describe them. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a parody is "a literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule". There is no element of comedy or ridicule in this; the film is a respectful homage to vampire films of the past, but with additional sex scenes. Maybe the reason for calling it a parody is that parodies can copy other pieces of work without being guilty of copyright infringement?

This is a film for all vampire fans, whether or not you like pornography. Brilliant!

Click here to view the trailer.

Unknown (5 Stars)

*** Review deleted ***

The Return (2 Stars)

I've been a fan of Sarah Michelle Gellar ever since her days in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", and I really want to see something good from her, but she has the knack of picking poor films. "The Return" is a mess. It attempts to build up suspense, but it's spoilt by an unintelligible plot with too many sidetracks and a final plot twist that doesn't really make sense.

When Joanna Mills was 11 and lived in Texas she was separated from her father in a fairground and was scared by a mysterious man. She is so traumatised by this that when she was older she moved as far as she could away from Texas. Now that she's 25 she works as a sales rep for a truck company and has to return to Texas for a job. She takes the opportunity to return to her home town. There she meets the mystery man again. And a creepy man who tries to rape her after she rejects his advances in a bar. And another mystery man who saves her, and then tells her he's been wrongly accused of killing his wife. And then Joanna has visions of his wife. Confusing? Yes. Disappointing? Very. Come on, Sarah, you can find better films than this.

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Strippers vs Werewolves (3 Stars)

Scott and Lucy are a young couple who are keeping secrets from one another. Lucy hasn't told her boyfriend she's a stripper. Scott hasn't told his girlfriend he's a werewolf.

One day Lucy is dressed up as a sexy schoolgirl giving a private dance when the customer turns into a werewolf. Lucy does what comes naturally: she pokes her school pen into his eye with enough force to pierce his brain. Since it's made of silver it kills him. The local werewolf gang decides she has to die, which puts Scott in a difficult position. Eventually a full scale battle breaks out when the werewolves attack the strip club.

This British film has a lot of promise. It features outstanding actors like Billy Murray, Martin Kemp, Sarah Douglas and Robert Englund. I find it's spoilt by the chaotic film editing, especially in the first half of the film. We keep jumping from one scene to another and back for no apparent reason. Despite being set in a strip club there is only very occasional nudity. It could have been better.

Click here to view the trailer.