Wednesday, 19 June 2013
Off-Topic: Men's Fashion: The Tie
This started me thinking. What purpose do ties serve? A jacket keeps me warm, shoes protect my feet, but what does a tie do? Nothing. So why do men wear them? After only a little thought the answer was obvious: the tie is a symbol of male supremacy. It's a phallic symbol with which men tell women that they have something women don't. Later, in the 1990's, ties became fashionable for women, but this just proves my point. In our liberated age misguided women think that equality is achieved by becoming like men. A woman can't have a penis, but she can put on a tie.
To me it was so thrilling that over the next few years I repeatedly set myself up as a target. Although I never usually wore a tie to work, on Weiberfastnacht I dressed smart and put on a tie when I took the train to work. Older women ignored me, but every year schoolgirls were pointing at me and whispering. Some years nobody would find the courage, but most years they would approach me, always in a group, and the ringleader, scissors in hand, would snip off my symbol of male supremacy.
Another unnecessary fashion accessory is the hat, though it could be argued that it does have a purpose, hiding a man's baldness or taking the attention away from older women's grey hair. The turning point for the hat as a male accessory was President Kennedy. He was the first American president who didn't wear a hat, which started the hat-less fashion trend. I'm hoping that the casual look of today's politicians will herald the death of the tie.