I know what you did last summer (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #17

I've never claimed to be a serious film reviewer. What I mean is, I haven't studied films at university, so I don't know the rules a film has to follow to be a good film. My ratings are purely subjective. I'm not even consistent. I might like a film today, then change my mind when I watch it again next month. Or the other way round.

"I know what you did last summer" – that's the last time I'll write the full title in this review – is a film that most film critics dislike. Why? Doesn't it fulfil the conditions to be accepted as a good film? All I can say is that they're wrong. There are some films where I'm tolerant and say "It's a matter of opinion whether you like or dislike this film". This isn't one of them. The film is so thrilling and genuinely scary that everyone should enjoy it, or at least recognise that it's a well made film. There are people who say that they don't like horror films, so they wouldn't even give this film a chance. They should. It's not a film that relies on blood and gore. It's full of suspense and terror.

"I know what you did last summer" – okay, I lied! – is often mentioned in the same breath as "Scream", which was made a year earlier. That's understandable. They're both teen slasher films with a (seemingly) invincible serial killer. They both feature attractive teenagers, male and female. You'd think they're set in an alternative universe, because there's not one unattractive teenager in sight. Nobody is spotty or overweight. The big difference between the two is that "Scream" has comedy elements, whereas this film doesn't. Maybe you prefer "Scream". I don't, but I still think they're both excellent films.

This film features two of the most beautiful teenage actresses of the 1990's: Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Which is the most attractive of the two? I prefer Jennifer Love Hewitt, but it's Sarah Michelle Gellar who wins the beauty contest. Incidentally, did you know that I once entered a beauty contest? Seriously! When I was nine months old I won second place in a beauty contest for babies. My mother was very disappointed that I didn't win first place.

It's all in the makeup. Sarah Michelle Gellar uses makeup to make herself look glamorous. Jennifer Love Hewitt doesn't use makeup, so she looks plain, at first sight. I emphasise "at first sight". If you look closely, you can see her outstanding beauty.

Another tactic to emphasise Jennifer's plainness is that she wears the same clothes in scenes that take place on different days. I'm still not fooled. She's gorgeous!

I'm rapidly moving up my best films chart. I'll soon be in the top 10. I hope my readers are following my list and will let me know what they think.

Success Rate:  + 5.4

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de

Curse of the Golden Flower (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #19

This is one of the most beautiful films ever made, but it has a different style to "House of Flying Daggers", made by Zhang Yimou two years earlier. The atmosphere in "Curse of the Golden Flower" is much more intense and foreboding. It's obvious from the opening scenes that only bad can come.

Ping is the Emperor of a large dynasty. (In the original Chinese he's only called a king, but I'll keep to the English translation). The film takes place in the Tang Dynasty, some time between 618 AD and 907 AD. He used to be a lowly captain, but he rose to the level of Emperor after marrying the daughter of the King of Liang. He has three sons: Wan, Jai and Yu. Wan was born to his first wife, Jai and Yu to his present wife. Jai is his official heir, but Wan is his favourite son.

The palace is run efficiently, presenting a perfect harmony to the world, but the Emperor's family is far from perfect. The Empress is having an affair with her step-son, Wan. The Emperor knows about it, so he's arranged for poison to be mixed in with her regular medication for anaemia. After the Empress's death he intends to make Wan his heir.

Years ago the Emperor, while still a captain, exiled his first wife so that he could marry the daughter of the King of Liang. He expected her to die, but she married the Emperor's chief physician. He doesn't know she's still alive, because she lives in a house outside of the palace. Her daughter is a servant of the Empress, and Wan has fallen in love with her, not realising that she's his sister.

It's difficult for me to write about this film without giving away too much. All I can say is that it's an epic in the true sense of the word. There are only a few action scenes, but they're exquisitely filmed. The suspense and the emotional content are in perfect balance. The palace shown in the film is the biggest film set ever built. Over 4,000 extras were used. It's a film that has to be seen to be believed.

Success Rate:  - 0.3

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de

Assimilate (4 Stars)

Amazon Friday #9

Today I discovered a category in Amazon Prime called "Only limited time on Prime". It contains films that will be removed from Amazon Prime Video within the next seven days. That's a useful category. It's not listed in Amazon Prime on my computer, only on my smart TV. Even on the television I have to scroll a long way to find it. It's the 38th category listed on the home page. I wish I had a URL to load it directly in my web browser. Can anyone help me out, please?

I've decided to check out this category every week, and only pick a film from my watch list if I don't want to watch any films due to be removed. "Assimilate" will be removed from Amazon Prime in four days.

The film is about a pair of teenagers who have a video blog about life in their boring little town, Multon. It's a fictional town, and we're not told in what American state it lies, but it was filmed in Mississippi. They notice that other people in their town are behaving strangely. Their investigations lead them to the conclusion that the townspeople are being killed and replaced by emotionless clones. They go to the sheriff for help, but he was one of the first to be replaced. They're on their own.

"Assimilate" is a terrifying horror story. It's not a film I could watch repeatedly, but I'm glad I had a chance to see it today before it was too late.

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.de

The Life of Pi (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #20

Where do you find God? Is She the lotus hiding in the forest?

Is God in the dance?

Or does God only exist in the memories of another time in another world?

"The Life of Pi" is a story to make you believe in God. Maybe you'll believe in a God who's close to you. Maybe you'll believe in a God who's dead. Maybe you'll believe in a God who's deserted you to hide in the forest. The choice is yours.

Success Rate:  + 3.1

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de

The World's Fastest Indian (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #21

Anthony Hopkins calls "The World's Fastest Indian" his best film. That might surprise people who know the many excellent films he's made in his career, including his Oscar winning performance as Hannibal Lecter in "Silence of the Lambs". Sit and watch this film, and you'll understand what he means. It's the most uplifting feel-good movie ever made. It tells the tale of a man who has a dream and refuses to give up, even though all the odds are stacked against him.

And it's a true story.

In 1962 Burt Munro was an eccentric 63-year-old living in a shed in Invercargill, New Zealand. He spent every day modifying his 40-year-old Indian motorcycle, which gives the film its name. The Indian Motorcycle Company built motorcycles from 1901 to 1953. The original bike, as it was sold, had a top speed of 54 mph, but Burt was reaching speeds over 150 mph. His dream was to travel to the Bonneville Speed Trials to set an official world speed record. People laughed at him, but they couldn't stop him doing what he wanted to do.

The film is for the most part a road movie. We see Burt travelling across the USA, from Los Angeles to Utah, meeting characters who are increasingly unusual.

Tina is a transvestite who works as a clerk in his Los Angeles motel. A naive question: did transvestites appear in the open in the 1960's? People were a lot pruder in those days.

Maybe I'll provide a full gallery of the fascinating characters he meets in my next review. They're a cross-section of American society, from the richest to the poorest.

I'll just give you one spoiler. Burt Munro succeeded in his dream. He set a speed record of 205 mph for motorcycles under 1000 cc, a record that still stands today.

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk

Terminator: Dark Fate (4½ Stars)

"Terminator: Dark Fate" (2019) is a film that begins shortly after the events of "Terminator 2" (1991). But "Terminator 3" (2003) was also a sequel to "Terminator 2", and the two films contradict one another. "Terminator: Genisys" (2015) is also a sequel to "Terminator 2", but it doesn't necessarily contradict "Terminator 3". There's also the television series "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" (2008-2009), which takes place after the events of "Terminator 2", contradicting the other stories.

To point out the major contradictions:

In "Terminator 3" John Connor is alive, but his mother Sarah is dead.

In "Terminator: Dark Fate" Sarah Connor is alive, but John is dead.

In "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" Sarah and John are both alive.

The whole premise of the Terminator films, from the first film onwards, is that robots from the future are travelling back in time to change the past. This means that contradictions can be explained as the past being changed. To do this a certain amount of mental gymnastics is needed, and I confess that I haven't invested enough time to find a solution yet... if there is a solution. The Terminator franchise is even more mixed up than the Highlander franchise. It's easy enough to say that "Highlander 2" and "Highlander 3" never happened, but I don't want to deny that any of the Terminator films took place unless I have a very good reason. I intend to rewatch the three sequels ("Terminator 3", "Genisys" and "Dark Fate") back to back later this year to help me make a better decision. I shan't rewatch "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" because it was frustrating that the series was cancelled on a cliffhanger. I don't want to disappoint myself again.

The first two Terminator films fitted well together. They closed the story. If a third film had never been made, no one would have complained. James Cameron quit the franchise after these two films. They said all that he wanted to say. It was only monetary concerns that led to "Terminator 3" being made 12 years later. James Cameron strongly opposed the making of a third film, and when it was completed he called it awful. I agree that "Terminator 3" was unnecessary, but it's not as bad as James Cameron claims. The premise of "Terminator 3" is that Judgement Day is inevitable. Skynet can't be stopped, it can only be delayed.

This is in contrast to "Terminator: Dark Fate", in which we find that Skynet was completely eliminated as a threat. A new company called Legion has led to the rise of Terminators.

"The Sarah Connor Chronicles" has the interesting idea that the two different types of Terminator, the T-101 from the first film and the T-1000 from the second film, are in conflict with one another. The T-X from the third film isn't shown. The T-1000 Terminators from the far future want to make a truce with humanity and live side by side, so they want the T-101 Terminators from the near future to stop attempting to kill John Connor.

"Terminator: Genisys" openly changes the timeline by having Terminators sent back to change the events of the first film.

I really want to reconcile the films with one another. On the other hand, if the differences are irreconcilable, I have my preferences which I want to believe. As much as I enjoyed "The Sarah Connor Chronicles", the abrupt ending makes it dissatisfying. I'm happy to call it non-canon. The same is true of "Terminator: Genisys". It also ended with open plot points to prepare for a sequel, a sequel that never came.

Let's see where things go from here. Will the next film be a sequel to "Dark Fate"? I hope so. It's getting frustrating seeing the story be rebooted over and over again.

Success Rate:  - 0.6

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de

A Quiet Place 2 (5 Stars)

Wow! I'm finally back in the cinema again! The Coronavirus has done more to destroy the cinema than television, videos, DVDs and streaming together. There was a brief period when the cinemas in Stuttgart were open between the first and second lockdown. I managed to see six films between 24th June and 14th September last year, but "A Quiet Place 2" is my first film this year; my first film in nine months. That's sad.

The release of "A Quiet Place 2" (which has since been renamed "A Quiet Place Part 2") has been delayed by the Coronavirus lockdowns. It was originally planned for March 2020. I took this photo on 19th January 2020, the second day of the Stuttgart White Nights Festival. A contest was announced for the festival attendees: the best photo of a person attempting to remain quiet would win two free tickets for the film.

This was Benjamin's entry for the contest. No, he didn't win.

As you can see from the first photo, the planned German release date was 19th March 2020. It was finally released last week.

The film is divided into two parts. The first part takes place before the opening credits. It shows the day of the arrival of the aliens. Nobody was prepared for their arrival, and it was a quick slaughter. The monsters rush around killing everyone they can find.

The motivation of the alien invaders hasn't yet been revealed, if they have a motivation at all. They run around killing as many humans as they can, but it isn't for food. They kill for the sake of killing. It's also uncertain how they arrived on Earth. They don't seem intelligent enough to pilot a space ship. We can still only guess how they arrived. My personal theory is that a still unseen intelligent race wants to conquer the Earth, so they've unleashed wild animals to weaken the Earth's resistance. They (the intelligent aliens) know how to control or eliminate the wild beasts when they arrive. That's just a theory. If anyone has a different idea, write your idea in the comments box below. Don't forget to tick the "Notify Me" box.

The second part is the rest of the film. It begins on Day 474, the day after the end of the first film. The Abbott family is still reeling after the death of the husband and father, Lee Abbott. They see a fire in the distance, which they interpret as a sign that someone else is alive. Evelyn Abbott takes her three children to the location of the fire, and they find a solitary man, Emmett. He used to be a friend of Lee. At first he's unwilling to help, but he feels sympathy when he sees Lee's young baby.

A coded radio message suggests that they should travel across the sea. Only the daughter Regan is willing to take the risk and leaves by herself. Emmett fears for her life, so he catches up with her.

That's enough spoilers for now. This is a very good film which relies on suspense for effect. I'm proud of my fellow German cinema visitors. The theatre was absolutely silent. Not one rustle of a crisp bag or the pop of a beer bottle. Silence. This intensified the atmosphere.

The first film's main character was the mother, Evelyn Abbott, played by Emily Blunt. In the second film the main character is the daughter, Regan Abbott, played by Millicent Simmonds.

TV Series: Batman

Over the last two weeks I've been catching up with the Batman TV series. I can't call it bingeing. I've only been watching about two episodes a day. I bought the Blu-ray box set when it was first released in 2015. That's when I was bingeing. I watched it up to the middle of the second season. Then I stopped. I can't give an exact reason, except that my preference has always been films over television series. The box set has been sitting on my shelf unwatched for the last five years, ever since I moved to Germany. Now it's time to watch the rest.

"Batman" (the series) was a big part of my life in my early teens. When I lived in Walsall I used to visit my grandparents every Saturday afternoon. We lived close to one another. My family lived at 30 Westbourne Street, and they lived at 35 Borneo Street. (I've named the exact addresses so that any of my readers who live in Walsall can check). They're only about a quarter of a mile apart. I had a Saturday evening ritual. Some time after 4 pm the pop man came and delivered the week's supply of pop for my grandparents. At 5:20 pm I poured a glass of orangeade, but I didn't drink it straight away. I waited until "Doctor Who" started, which was approximately 5:25 pm, depending on how long the broadcast of the sports results lasted. When the opening credits of "Doctor Who" started I took my first sip of the delicious pop.

I've never tasted any pop as delicious as the Corona orangeade. It's not sold any more. It was discontinued some time in the 1990's. That's a shame. After all these years I still remember the taste.

Later in the evening "Batman" was shown. I think it was 7 pm, but I'm not completely sure. What I do remember is that "Batman" marked the end of my evening with my grandparents. As soon as it finished I walked back home. "Batman" was shown twice a week, on Saturday and Sunday at the same time. I usually watched the Sunday episode at home, but if my parents wanted to watch something else (usually something awful like cricket) I'd go to my grandparents to watch it.

Some Batman fans complain that the series isn't faithful to the comics, because it's light-hearted and comical, not as dark as the comics. They're badly informed. When the Batman comics were first published in 1939 the stories were dark. The Comics Code Authority, created in 1954, put pressure on DC Comics to make the stories more suitable for children. Throughout the 1960's the Batman comics were camp and comical. The TV series was a faithful adaptation of the comics. It wasn't until 1977 that Batman returned to his dark roots.

The villains in the series are all iconic. Maybe I'll write about them all in future reviews, but today I'll concentrate on Catwoman. She's played by Julie Newmar in the first two seasons, and by Eartha Kitt in the third season. Julie Newmar was an incredibly sexy woman, which I recognised even as a young teenager.

The relationship between Batman and Catwoman began slowly in the first season, but by the middle of the second season it's at full speed. What's more intimate than sharing a milk shake? More than once Catwoman promises to renounce crime and become Batman's partner. The only condition is that Robin has to be killed, because three's a crowd.

They're really enjoying that milk shake.

Batwoman takes Catwoman for a ride in the Batmobile.

He even invites her back to the Batcave.

It's a bumpy relationship. She still ties Batman up when he tries to stop her stealing.

Or is he enjoying it?

Here's an amusing little detail. When Catwoman is in prison, her number is 39-24-37. Very appropriate!

Batman admires Catwoman's 39's. Be careful! She'll tie you up again!

There was a Green Hornet TV series that was broadcast at the same time as the second season of "Batman". The Green Hornet and Kato appear as guests in two "Batman" episodes.

Yes, that's Bruce Lee as Kato. It's a shame that "Green Hornet" was cancelled after only one season.

I'll carry on watching the rest of the Batman series. Slowly but surely. I might even write a few words about it in my blog.

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de

Terminal (2 Stars)

This is a film about a group of professional hitmen that takes place in and around a train station. Many things happen that seem to be random occurrences, but towards the end of the film everything is neatly tied up. That's just the problem with the film. For most of it the viewer is left puzzling what things have to do with one another.

The film's strength is the high calibre of its actors. Margot Robbie and Simon Pegg are excellent. The film's weakness is the general confusion. For most of the film Simon Pegg, who's terminally ill, sits talking to Margot Robbie about ways to kill himself, while two hitmen are discussing their next job. The scenes swap backwards and forwards, and there are even flashbacks to earlier occurrences, leaving the viewer with no idea what's going on. It's true, if I watch the film a second time I'll know how everything fits together, but I doubt I'll watch it again.

By the way, don't you think that Margot Robbie looks sexy with black lipstick? Or is it just dark red lipstick, so dark that it looks black? Whichever it is, it's a perfect contrast to her blond hair.

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de

Dark City (5 Stars)

After watching the theatrical version of "Dark City" in May, I decided to watch the director's cut today. It's noticeable how much has been re-edited. The only thing about it that I dislike is the way Kiefer Sutherland screams when he's approaching Shell Beach. That's a comment for my readers who already know and love the film. It'll confuse anyone who's never seen it, so my advice is that you go out and buy it straight away, preferably on Blu-ray. I'm not aware that it's available on any streaming services.

Rufus Sewell plays John Murdock, who's at the centre of a conspiracy. He wakes up at midnight in a bath tub with amnesia. He doesn't even know his own name until he looks at his driver's licence. There's a dead woman in the next room. He's the prime suspect in a murder investigation. Six prostitutes have been killed, and John doesn't know whether or not he's innocent.

John's wife Emma is a night club singer. John left her three weeks ago, but she thinks he's innocent.

Frank Bumstead is a lonely, brooding detective who's determined to find the murderer. The closer he gets to solving the case, the more he realises that it doesn't make sense. The last detective who was working on the case went insane, telling everyone that there is no case. It's all a game.

This is Melissa George's first role as a prostitute called May. John visits her to test himself. He wants to know whether he's capable of murder.

The psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Schreber is the only man who knows what's happening, but nobody believes him.

This is a brilliant film. It's a mystery that will thrill you from beginning to end.

Success Rate:  - 1.0

	Order from Amazon.com
	Order from Amazon.co.uk
	Order from Amazon.de

The Map Of Tiny Perfect Things (3 Stars)

Amazon Friday #8

This is a story about a young man being caught in a day that repeats itself every 24 hours. That's not an original idea. It's a story first told in "Groundhog Day" in 1993, and it's been repeated in different forms since then, for instance in "Happy Death Day"

To be precise, 17-year-old Mark relives 16 hours every day. At precisely midnight every day he passes out and wakes up in bed at 8 am of the same day. Some days he even stands watching his watch waiting for the moment to happen. The difference between "The Map of Tiny Perfect Things" and previous films is that the film doesn't start with the beginning of the time loop. When we first see Mark the day has already repeated many times over. We're not told how many times. 50 times? 100 times? More? We just know it's a lot, and he's grown used to dealing with everything that happens.

Mark is using the repeated days to get together with a girl he meets at an outdoor swimming pool. She likes him, and he walks her home, but he's never invited in, however much he rehearses his charm. One day his meeting is interrupted by a young blond girl who was never there before. Realising something is wrong, he follows her. Her name is Margaret, and she tells him that she's also caught in the time loop. Mark forgets the other girl and concentrates all his attention on Margaret.

The two young people meet every day. Mark falls in love with Margaret, but she remains cool. It's enough for her to remain friends. Together they enjoy watching the little things that people usually miss, such as a bird catching a fish, an old couple dancing or a cloud shaped like a question mark. They come to the conclusion that they'll only escape the day when they've made a map of the town marking the places and times of all these tiny perfect things.

This is a cute little romantic story that made me smile at times, but the whole premise of the story is too ridiculous to take seriously. Who defines what the tiny perfect things are? They're just the subjective opinions of the two teenagers. I might have picked completely different occurrences. Apart from that, why are they in a hurry to escape the time loop? Being trapped alone in a repeating day, like Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day", must get boring after a while, but being trapped with someone else, a member of the opposite sex that you're attracted to, has a lot of promise. You can do different things with one another every day, the relationship can progress, and it also involves living forever.

Margaret's attitude towards Mark is strange. She's obviously attracted to him, but she doesn't kiss him until she sees a way to escape the repetition. If she's finally prepared to show her feelings, it's all the more reason for her to want to remain in the day.

There are a lot of references to other films and television series. "Doctor Who" is mentioned so often that it gets tiresome. "Groundhog Day" is mentioned twice, and there are hints of "Donnie Darko" and "Star Wars".

The film is an Amazon Original, so it's only available on Amazon Prime, not on disc.