Every Day (4½ Stars)

Well, you didn't wake up this morning cos you didn't go to bed,
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red,
The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off.
You've been reading some old letters and you think how much you've changed,
All the money in the world couldn't buy back those days.

You pull back the curtains and the sun burns into your eyes,
You watch a plane flying across the clear blue sky.

This is the day your life will surely change,
This is the day when things fall into place.

You could've done anything if you'd wanted,
And all your friends and family think that you're lucky,
But the side of you they'll never see
Is when you're left alone with the memories
That hold your life together like glue.

You pull back the curtains and the sun burns into your eyes,
You watch a plane flying across the clear blue sky.

This is the day you know your life will never change,
This is the day you know your life will never change.

When I was 16 I was naive. I thought that love would come to me easily. I thought there was one special girl meant for me, and when we met we would immediately recognise one another and stay together forever.

I still remember my clumsy first kiss. Her name was Mandy Stickland. She was my first love, so I assumed it would last forever. It didn't. It lasted three months. I was heartbroken when she dumped me. I cried for days. Then suddenly I woke up one day and saw the light. Why did I ever think I loved her? She wasn't pretty, and we had practically nothing in common. (Note: I'm writing about what I thought when I was 16. I no longer judge girls on their looks the way I did back then).

After I realised Mandy was no good for me I quickly found another girlfriend, Janice Wesley. I liked her a lot, but there wasn't the same magic as there had been with Mandy. It lasted much less, about two weeks. It was her father who told me to stop seeing her because I brought her home too late one night. I didn't argue with him.

Then I had a third girlfriend (Annemarie Gutteridge), and a fourth, and a fifth, and so on. I remember their names, but after the first three I have difficulty putting them in order, there were so many. I became cynical. I was no longer looking for a true love, I was just having fun. Looking back at myself, I was an unpleasant person. It wasn't the fact that I had so many girlfriends – there were more than 30 in the next five years – it was the way they meant so little to me. I was very desirable. Girls wanted me, and I enjoyed the attention. At that time I visited a youth club in Aldridge, and most of my girlfriends were from this club. Whenever I broke up with a girl, other girls were hovering around me. They thought I was special because I'd had so many girlfriends. I wasn't special. The opposite was the case. I'd had so many girlfriends because no girl could put up with me for more than a few months.

Maybe the way I behaved wasn't completely my fault. I was going through a lot of problems, not just my teenage hormones. I felt alienated from society because I couldn't find anyone on my intellectual level. I pretended to be something I wasn't, I dumbed myself down. That's why I only dated one fellow student, Susan Busby, in all my time at university. I preferred the girls from the youth club. That seems so illogical in retrospect. Another problem was that I had a mother who came home drunk every night. That hurt me more than I could ever express in words. Yet another problem was dealing with the masochistic urges that I'd felt since my early teens. I tried to suppress these urges, thinking I was abnormal. I should have talked to someone about it, but that didn't happen until my last year at university.

All this must seem irrelevant to anyone who's never seen "Every Day" or read the book it's based on. 16-year-old Rhiannon has a different lover every day for three weeks, and she has to decide whether she wants to carry on that way for the rest of her life or settle down.

Day 1. Rhiannon loves Justin.

Day 2. Rhiannon doesn't trust Amy with more than friendship.

Day 3. Rhiannon flirts with Nathan.

Day 4. Rhiannon doesn't meet David because he's blind.

Day 5. Rhiannon feels attracted to Megan.

Day 6. Rhiannon feels attracted to James.

Day 7. Rhiannon loves Vic.

Day 8. Rhiannon loves George.

Day 9. Rhiannon loves herself.

Day 10. Rhiannon loves Xavier.

Day 11. Rhiannon is stood up because her lover is getting a lung transplant.

Day 12. Rhiannon loves Michael.

Day 13. Rhiannon loves Kelsea for two days.

Day 15. Rhiannon loves Hannah.

Day 16. Rhiannon loves Alexander for four days, maybe longer. It's not clear.

Day 20. Katie leaves Rhiannon without saying goodbye.

Does the film have a happy ending or a sad ending? It has both, depending on how you look at it. I had to cry at the end of the film. I've regained the romantic idealism that I had when I was 16. However, there's a question in the film that I have no answer to:

"What do you do when you're in love with a person and the person changes?"

I'm not talking about looks. Personalities can change as well with the passing of time. Experiences can make a person grow bitter. Ideally, a married couple should grow together over time, but what if they grow apart? What if one person changes while the other remains the same? My personality is the same as it was when I was 22. I'm the same stoic person who never loses his temper. I still look for the good in every person I meet. I still treat everyone with respect, however they treat me. That's why I have so many weak people among my friends; they're attracted by my strength.

On a technical note, four seconds of the film were removed in the UK. Showing the wrist of a woman who's been cutting herself would have meant an automatic 18 certificate, and the studio wanted the film to have a 12 certificate. The British Film Board is stupid. The German release shows the scarred wrist, but the film still has a 6 certificate.

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