Return to Savage Beach (5 Stars)

This is the twelfth and final film in the Andy Sidaris collection, made in 1998. At the time when it was made Andy was planning a 13th film, "Battle Zone Hawaii", but it was never made. I've made enquiries, but so far nobody has told me why it wasn't made. Maybe Andy's bank account was running low. Maybe he was having health problems. Whatever the reason, he made no more films between 1998 and his death in 2007.

As the name suggests, the film is a sequel to Andy's fourth film, "Savage Beach", but it's also a continuation from his eighth film, "Fit To Kill". In the last three films there was no mention of Molokai Cargo or Radio KSXY, the cover operations for the LETHAL Agency on the Island of Molokai. Now it's the centre of operations again. We still see the Agency's headquarters in Dallas in a few scenes. Supposedly in Dallas. A street sign gives away that the Dallas scenes were actually filmed in Shreveport, Louisiana. It's unusual for Andy to make a mistake like that.

In the last 20 minutes the film twists and turns through multiple plot twists. The dead come back to life, then they're declared dead again, and then they're alive after all. The bad guys claim to be the good guys, then it turns out they're bad after all, and then we see they really are the good guys. Andy Sidaris was aware that he was pushing the envelope, so he even puts words of incredulity into the mouth of the Interpol agent Sofia: "How many endings can this story have?" Sofia herself participates in the plot twists. First she's a villain, then she's an Interpol agent, then it's claimed that she's a crooked agent, and finally we see that her motives were honest all along. It gets confusing.

Marcus Bagwell reprises his role as the Warrior. In the last film he was an international smuggler, but after three months in prison he's fully reformed and wants to help the Agency find the hidden treasure buried in the South Pacific island known as Savage Beach.

Is he really reformed, or does he just want to get his hands on Julie Strain?

Marcus should be careful where he's putting his hands. Julie Strain's real life husband Kevin Eastman also appears in the film as an agent called Harry. It's true, his physical strength is no match for Marcus, but he can tell the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to attack him.

As much as I like Julie Strain, I have to admit that Shae Marks and Julie K. Smith are the ones who attract the most attention in this film. They're a beautiful pair.

The scene where they arrive on Savage Beach is one of the sexiest scenes ever filmed. The screenshots don't do it justice. You really have to see the two girls in motion.

Gerald Okamura returns as Fu. Once more, we hardly see any of his martial arts skills.

He fades into the background when he's accompanied by Julie Strain. But doesn't everyone?

By the way, compare the screenshot from the Blu-ray (above) with the screenshot that I made from the DVD (below). I'm so thankful that the film was remastered.

It's like night and day, isn't it? I don't understand people who say they're satisfied with DVD quality.

At first I wasn't sure whether it was Drew Sidaris playing this bad guy.

Then I took a closer look at his bike. Can you see it?

It's good to see Ava Cadell return as Ava, breathing sexy coded messages into the microphone.

I'm also happy to see Carolyn Liu reprising her role as Silk after playing a different role in the last film. I wish Andy Sidaris wouldn't mess around with the casting so much.

Before I forget, here's the regular round up of Playmates and Pets.

• Shae Marks (Tiger) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in May 1994.
• Julie Strain (Black Widow) was Penthouse Pet of the Month in June 1991, and she was Pet of the Year in 1993.
• Julie K. Smith (Cobra) was Penthouse Pet of the Month in February 1993. She also appeared in Playboy in November 1995.
• Carrie Wescott (Sofia) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in September 1993.

Andy Sidaris and Julie Strain have both left our world. If there's an afterlife, I'm sure that Julie is flirting outrageously with Andy until the day when his wife Arlene will join them.

Andy Sidaris, February 20, 1931 – March 7, 2007

Julie Strain, February 18, 1962 – January 10, 2021

Arlene Sidaris, April 21, 1941 – forever?