Savage Beach (4 Stars)

This is the fourth film in the Andy Sidaris collection, made in 1989. Here's a competition for my readers: think up a caption for the picture of Andy Sidaris and Julie Strain. The winner will get an honourable mention in my blog. You can't turn down a reward like that!

This is a complex story of greed. "The love of money is the root of all evil" (1. Timothy 6:10). In this case it's not about dollar bills, the object of desire is ten gold bars, stolen from the Philippines in 1945 and hidden on a Pacific island ever since. The story is complex, because so many different people are chasing the gold for their own purposes, some more idealistic than others, with multiple layers of deception. Let me see if I can list them all:

Rodrigo Martinez is a representative of the Philippine government, charged with retrieving the gold. He's being supported by the US navy officer, Captain Andreas, and Major Harrison of the US army. Captain Andreas is the only one of them who's on the level. Martinez wants to give the gold to a revolutionary group, and Major Harrison is really a CIA agent who wants to keep the gold for America. When the other members of the revolutionary group arrive on the island, they reveal that they want the gold for themselves to sell it to the highest bidder. There's also a lone Japanese soldier on the island who's been guarding the gold for his general ever since 1945. Caught in the middle are Donna and Taryn, who crash landed on the island in the middle of a storm while delivering medicine.

They have no idea why everyone is shooting at everyone else, but Donna joins in the fun.

So does Taryn. Never underestimate a small girl with a big gun.

This is the island's savage beach. Spectacular!

But somehow I think the girls prefer their warm jacuzzi in Hawaii. I know where I'd rather be. From left to right we have Pattycakes (Patty Duffek), Rocky (Lisa London), Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) and Donna (Dona Speir).

Poor Andy. His wife Arlene won't let him jump into the jacuzzi with the girls. He's only allowed a cameo role as a radio operator.

This film features only five former Playboy models. I say only, because the last film, "Picasso Trigger", had seven Playboy models.

• Teri Weigel, shown above as Martinez's girlfriend Angelica, was Playmate of the Month in April 1986.
• Dona Spier (Donna) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in March 1984.
• Hope Marie Carlton (Taryn) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in July 1985.
• Patty Duffek (Patticakes) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in May 1984.
• Maxina Wasa also appeared in Playboy, month unknown.

This is Maxina Wasa, distracting agent Shane Abilene from his work. Shane is the replacement for his cousins Cody Abilene ("Malibu Express"), Rowdy Abilene ("Hard Ticket To Hawaii") and Travis Abilene ("Picasso Trigger").

Shane's cousins must have told him he'd be surrounded by hot girls. They'd make any man keep coming.

You might get the impression from this review that it's all about sexy women, but this is also a highly enjoyable action film. It's worth watching, especially now that it's finally been released on Blu-ray.