Picasso Trigger (4 Stars)

"Killing is an art form".

After the empty box tragedy that I wrote about in my review of "Ginger and Rosa" I've finally received my "Picasso Trigger" Blu-ray, so I can continue to work my way through the 12 films in the Andy Sidaris collection. It's about time. I shall be watching other films in between, but I still hope to get through them all by Halloween.

Andy Sidaris continues to make films with the world's most beautiful actresses, and this time round he ups the ante. The first two films starred four Playmates each, but this film has SEVEN Playmates:

• Dona Spier (Donna) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in March 1984.
• Hope Marie Carlton (Taryn) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in July 1985.
• Roberta Vasquez (Pantera) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in November 1984.
• Cynthia Brimhall (Edy) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in October 1985.
• Kym Malin (Kym) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in May 1982.
• Patty Duffek (Patticakes) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in May 1984.
• Liv Lindeland (Inga) was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in January 1971.

"Picasso Trigger" is an almost-sequel to the preceding films. It continues with the annoying habit of actors playing characters who're killed in one film, then returning as different characters in the next films. I say it's annoying, but after watching the films a few times I've got used to it.

Poor Andy Sidaris looks like he's terrified of Julie Strain's bare breasts. It's not the breasts themselves that frighten him, it's the situation. His wife Arlene is in the room with them, so he has to resist the temptation to stare. Is that at all possible with someone like Julie? She's not in the film, but she appears in the introduction to all 12 films.

She's covered her breasts up now, but Andy shouldn't have his hand on her knee!

Calm down, Andy, take deep breaths.

The film is about a man called Miguel Ortiz taking revenge on the government agents responsible for putting his brother in prison. He's played by the fiercely intense Rodrigo Obregon. He appears in ten Andy Sidaris films as ten different characters. That's why it's difficult to see the films as sequels.

Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton reprise their roles as the agents Donna and Taryn. Miguel tries to kill them, but they have a lucky escape.

Who would want to kill a beautiful woman like Donna?

Or Taryn? But in the Andy Sidaris films, death isn't a problem. They can come back as someone else.

Andy Sidaris himself has an uncredited  cameo in all of his films. Here he is playing golf in Hawaii. I don't care how hot it is, those shorts are still embarrassing!

"Seven" isn't considered part of the Andy Sidaris collection, but Richard LePore reprises his role as the Professor, the man who invents weapons for the Agency. He's the equivalent of James Bond's Q. Overall, the Andy Sidaris films are everything that the James Bond films should have been.

This is a film to watch if you like girls with guns.

The films get steadily better as they go along. The series begins with standard spy thrillers, but the films become increasingly camp. Julie Strain's appearance in the last five films also contributes to their ever-increasing quality.