Seven [1979] (4 Stars)

"Seven" is a popular film title. I've been able to find nine films with this title. Film titles aren't usually copyrighted, so there might be even more as time passes. However, as far as I can tell, this is the first film that was given the title "Seven". There were no other films before 1979, so if there are ever new copyright laws demanding unique film titles, this will be the only Seven left. The others will have to change their names to alternatives like "Seven Point Zero", "Seven and a half" or "Seven and three quarters".

This film is directed by Andy Sidaris. In 2018 I reviewed all the films in the Andy Sidaris collection, but I omitted "Seven". I had a good reason. Even though he made two earlier films, "Stacey" (1973) and "Seven" (1979), his web site lists only 12 films (1985 to 1998) as his official collection. I don't know why. What I do know is that in 2018 the first two films were unavailable, so I considered them to be lost. Later in 2018 "Seven" was released on Blu-ray, but "Stacey" still isn't available.

In Hawaii seven gang bosses have united to carry out an audacious plan. They want to create chaos and lawlessness on the Hawaiian islands, driving the tourists away and causing financial ruin. Then they'll move in and take over the islands for themselves. They can't be stopped. Federal agents sent to investigate are murdered, along with top politicians. The boss of the FBI asks a former agent, Drew Savano, to deal with the matter outside of the law. He doesn't want any arrests, he just wants the gang bosses dead, and if Drew is caught it's bad luck, the FBI will deny knowledge of the operation.

Drew is given a budget of $7,000,000. With this money he hires six top assassins, all of them ruthless killers. In order to avoid warning the others, the assassinations have to take place simultaneously, each assassin using his or her unique talents.

That's Drew in the middle with five of his team. The blonde woman, Jennie, is an extra, the personal masseuse of Alexa (on the right).

This is a fast-moving action thriller, perfectly paced. It's not as camp as Andy's later films, but it already shows his trademark features: gratuitous nudity and big explosions. The only criticism I can make is that we hardly get to know the seven gang bosses. The seven good assassins are introduced in detail, but we don't know the bad guys well enough to relate to them.

If you watch the film carefully you'll recognise Andy Sidaris himself in a cameo.

As in his later films, Andy Sidaris hired the most beautiful women he could find by looking at the pages of magazines. Carol Needham was the Playboy Playmate of the Month for February 1979.

Susan Kiger was the Playboy Playmate of the Month for January 1977. I wish she would make coffee for me. Milk and no sugar, please.

Barbara Leigh appeared in Playboy twice, in May 1973 and January 1977. Maybe she wasn't named Playmate of the Month, but she still has some outstanding qualities.

There's a lot of beautiful scenery in the film, especially in the scenes where Alexa (Barbara Leigh) is flying in her helicopter to seek out her victim.

Beautiful scenery, but Barbara Leigh is even more beautiful, don't you think?

I intend to go back and rewatch the other Andy Sidaris films soon. They're too good to only watch them once... or twice... or three times. I've watched some of his films at least five times, and it's still not enough.