Deadpool 2 (5 Stars)

"Deadpool 2"  has a difficult job. The first film was such a perfectly constructed showcase for Ryan Reynolds that simply doing the same thing again wouldn't have been enough. Fortunately, the sequel doesn't try to be a bigger version of the original. It is a different kind of Deadpool film, while retaining everything that made the first one so much fun.

Wade Wilson is still the same foul-mouthed, fourth-wall-breaking mercenary, but this time he's given a more conventional superhero problem to deal with. Cable, a time-travelling soldier from the future, arrives with a mission to kill a young mutant called Russell before he grows up to become a mass murderer. Deadpool decides that protecting the boy is more important than worrying about what he might become, and naturally things get increasingly chaotic from there.

Ryan Reynolds is still the heart of the film, and he hasn't lost any of his comic timing. What makes Deadpool work so well is that beneath all the wisecracks he's actually a surprisingly sentimental character. The film can move from an outrageous joke to genuine emotion without either side feeling out of place.

The supporting cast is excellent. Josh Brolin makes Cable a suitably intimidating opponent without turning him into a humourless villain, while Zazie Beetz is terrific as Domino. Her mutant ability, which amounts to being extraordinarily lucky, is used for some wonderfully inventive action sequences. Colossus is back too, still trying to persuade Deadpool to behave like a proper superhero, with very little success.

Then there's X-Force, which provides one of the film's funniest stretches. I won't say too much about it, because the joke works much better if you don't know exactly what's coming. It's a good example of the film's willingness to set up a conventional superhero sequence and then completely pull the rug out from under it.

There are plenty of other jokes, references and fourth-wall violations, and some of them are wonderfully ridiculous. The film knows that the audience is familiar with superhero conventions, so it can play with them rather than simply following them. At times it feels as though the writers are competing with each other to see who can get away with the most outrageous gag.

Deadpool 2 is bigger than the first film, but it doesn't lose its personality in the process. It has more characters, more action and a considerably more complicated plot, yet the central appeal remains the same. It's a very funny film with a surprisingly warm heart.

The first Deadpool is difficult to follow, but this is about as good a sequel as you could reasonably hope for. It isn't trying to replace the original. It's simply another opportunity to spend a couple of hours with one of the most entertaining idiots in superhero cinema.

Success Rate:  + 4.7

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Snatch (5 Stars)

• Franky Four Fingers arrives in London with a huge stolen diamond, intending to sell it to Doug the Head.
• Boris the Blade wants the diamond and arranges for Franky to be robbed.
• Turkish and Tommy are involved in the illegal boxing business, working for the vicious gangster Brick Top.
• Turkish's boxer gets into trouble, forcing him to find a replacement.
• He approaches Mickey, an Irish Traveller who agrees to fight for money.
• Mickey, however, has his own ideas about how the fight should go.
• Meanwhile, Boris's plans for the diamond become increasingly complicated.
• Sol, Vinny and Tyrone get involved in an attempt to steal the diamond for themselves.
• All the various schemes gradually begin to overlap, with the boxing match and the diamond at the centre of everything.
• By the time the dust settles, almost nobody has ended up with quite what they expected.

I usually complain when a film has a complicated plot, but "Snatch" is a wonderful exception. Everything is remarkably easy to understand while you're watching it. You know what everybody wants and you generally know what they're trying to do. It's only afterwards, when you try to explain the entire story to somebody else, that you realise just how complicated it actually is.

That is one of the film's greatest achievements. Guy Ritchie gives us a huge collection of characters and several apparently separate stories, but somehow never makes the film difficult to follow. Everyone is so distinctive that you quickly know who's who, and every new complication seems perfectly logical at the time.

It's also very funny, but I wouldn't call "Snatch" a comedy. There's a real sense of danger underneath the humour, particularly whenever Brick Top appears. These are not lovable rogues getting into amusing scrapes. They're criminals, and some of them are extremely unpleasant criminals.

The cast is superb. Jason Statham is the closest thing we have to a normal person in this collection of lunatics, while Alan Ford makes Brick Top genuinely intimidating. But Brad Pitt steals the film as Mickey. His performance is hilarious, unpredictable and completely different from anything else in the film.

And then there's the style. The editing is fast without making the story incomprehensible, the dialogue is packed with memorable lines and the whole thing has an energy that carries you through the increasingly tangled plot.

It's probably the best gangster film I've ever seen. And remarkably, despite its complicated plot, I never once felt lost.

The problem is that if somebody asked me to explain exactly what happens in Snatch, I'd have absolutely no idea where to start.

Success Rate:  + 6.4

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Meet Joe Black (5 Stars)

"Meet Joe Black" is a Hollywood film that seemed faintly ridiculous to many critics when it first appeared, then slowly gathered a devoted audience who responded to its sincerity. At more than three hours long, with Brad Pitt playing Death in human form, it could easily have collapsed into self-parody. Instead, it became something strangely hypnotic; a melancholy romantic fantasy about mortality, wealth, loneliness and the terror of time running out.

The premise sounds absurd. A media tycoon named William Parrish is approached by Death, who arrives in the body of a young man and calls himself Joe Black. Death wants to experience human life before taking Parrish away. What follows isn't really a fantasy story in the conventional sense; it's a meditation on ageing, regret, romance and the awareness that time is limited.

The film works because director Martin Brest refuses to rush anything. Conversations unfold slowly. Characters pause before speaking. Entire scenes exist purely for atmosphere. The famous hospital and coffee-shop opening stretches time almost to breaking point, establishing the dreamlike rhythm that defines the entire film.

Anthony Hopkins gives the film its emotional gravity. His William Parrish isn't simply frightened of death; he's exhausted by power, responsibility and the compromises of success. Hopkins plays him as a man already halfway detached from the world before Joe even arrives.

Brad Pitt gives one of the oddest performances of his career. His flat vocal rhythms and awkward body language were mocked in 1998, but viewed now they make sense. Joe Black isn't human. He's observing people the way an outsider studies behaviour he doesn't entirely understand. Pitt plays him with a childlike curiosity mixed with something ancient and unknowable.

The emotional structure of the film depends heavily on the contrast between the two daughters.

Susan Parrish, played by Claire Forlani, is introspective, romantic and emotionally restless. Despite her privileged life, she seems disconnected from the corporate world surrounding her family. She wants intimacy and authenticity rather than social success. That's why she's drawn to Joe. Even before she understands what he is, she senses that he exists outside the artificial systems that dominate her world.

Allison, played by Marcia Gay Harden, represents stability and ordinary human attachment. She's practical, maternal and socially grounded. Unlike Susan, she isn't searching for transcendence or mystery. Allison accepts life as something to organise and preserve; Susan searches for something emotionally absolute. William loves both daughters deeply, but the contrast between them reflects two different responses to mortality itself. Allison embraces life as routine continuity; Susan searches for meaning beyond routine.

Over time the film has developed something close to cult status, although not in the traditional midnight-movie sense. It was always a large studio production with major stars, but its reputation has transformed. Younger audiences have rediscovered it through streaming and online clips, especially the coffee-shop sequence and the unexpectedly funny peanut butter scene. What audiences once considered unbearably earnest now feels refreshing. The film's refusal to be cynical has become part of its appeal.

The question of length has followed the film ever since its release. The original theatrical cut runs just over three hours. There was later a shortened release for use on television and for video rentals. On paper, the shorter version seems sensible. The corporate takeover subplot is reduced, several extended dinner conversations are tightened and some atmospheric transitional scenes disappear entirely.

Narratively, very little is lost. The shortened version still tells the same story clearly. In fact, viewers who found the original ponderous often prefer it because the romantic and supernatural elements become more prominent once the business material is compressed.

Yet something important vanishes with those cuts. The full-length version creates a sensation of suspended time. The slow pacing allows Death to drift through the Parrish household like a visitor studying humanity in microscopic detail. Even scenes that appear unnecessary contribute to the mood of lingering impermanence. The shortened version preserves the plot, but weakens the hypnotic atmosphere.

That's why the theatrical cut continues to attract devoted admirers despite its excesses. Many individual scenes could be removed without damaging the mechanics of the story, but the emotional experience depends on accumulation. The film gradually surrounds the viewer with the awareness of mortality. Its power comes less from narrative momentum than from emotional duration.

In the end, "Meet Joe Black" endures because it attempts something modern Hollywood rarely risks anymore; it treats romance, death and longing with complete seriousness. Sometimes it stumbles under the weight of its ambitions. Sometimes it's undeniably self-indulgent. But even its flaws feel connected to what makes it memorable. The film moves at the pace of someone reluctantly saying goodbye to life itself.

Success Rate:  - 0.4

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SE7EN (4 Stars)

This is the January selection for the "Best Of Cinema" series. Usually the film is shown on the first Tuesday of the month, but it's been shifted to Friday this week for reasons unknown to me.

It's a film I've never seen before. I admit that I was put off by the film's title. It's pronounced seven, but it's written with a 7 instead of the V. Some people might think it's cool; I think it's stupid. The only advantage of misspelling the title is that it won't be confused with the Andy Sidaris film called "Seven".

"Se7en" – I hate typing that word! – was filmed in Los Angeles, but according to reviews it takes place in an unnamed fictional city. Why not just call it Los Angeles? The action takes place in grubby little streets, carefully avoiding any well known landmarks. Morgan Freeman plays William Somerset, a detective seven days before his retirement. He's joined by David Mills, a young, impulsive detective who's been transferred from a smaller city. Somerset wants to get away from violent crime, Mills is looking for it. They spend Somerset's last week working together.

There are a series of seemingly unrelated deaths. The victims have no connection to one another and come from all walks of life. At the scene of the first death the word "gluttony" is written on the wall. At the scene of the second death the word "greed" is written on the floor. The detectives surmise that they're the first two victims of a serial killer who's basing his murders on the seven deadly sins.

The killer might seem mad, but he's a very calm, religiously motivated man. He doesn't care if he's captured, as long as he can carry out his seven murders first. He wants to send the world a message that committing any of the seven deadly sins is a greater sin than traditional crimes and should be punished accordingly.

It's a good film, but is it best of cinema? That's a matter of taste. It won't ever enter my top films list.

Success Rate:  + 7.9

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IF (4 Stars)

"IF" stands for "Imaginary Friends". 12-year-old Bea is living with her grandmother in New York City while her father is in hospital waiting for heart surgery. She finds that strange creatures live in an apartment in the building. They live with a man called Cal who collects imaginary friends that were abandoned when children grew up into adulthood. Cal is looking for someone to help him reunite  the imaginary friends with their former owners. Bea accepts the job, but she's not too successful.

I shan't go into the plot in any more detail to avoid spoilers. After seeing the trailers I was surprised that it's very much a children's film. I expected something that would bridge the gap between children's films and adult films, but there's hardly anything adult in the film.

I never had an imaginary friend as a child. As far as I know. One of the main themes of the film is that adults have forgotten their imaginary friends. As a child I was a loner. Until I was eight I lived on the grounds of Little Aston Hall. There were only three families, and neither of the other families had children, so I didn't have anyone to play with. If anyone ever needed an imaginary friend, it was me.

Bullet Train (5 Stars)

The Japanese Shinkansen, called the Bullet Train in English, is one of the fastest trains in the world. It travels commercially at a speed of 200 miles per hours, and it's reached 275 miles per hour in test runs. It's also one of the safest trains in the world. According to Wikipedia, "Over the Shinkansen's 50-plus-year history, carrying over 10 billion passengers, there has not been a single passenger fatality or injury on board due to derailments or collisions". It's good that the film "Bullet Train" is fictional, because it would have spoilt this spotless record. The train is derailed in Kyoto, not to mention various people being shot, poisoned or stabbed to death by various assassins on the train.

If I were to give a plot summary I'd have to write a review that runs for several pages. So much happens in the two hour run time. The main character is a man codenamed Ladybug. Some reviews incorrectly call him an assassin. If they'd paid attention to the film they would have noticed that he refused to take a gun with him on his mission. He's a professional thief, a snatch and grab guy. He's been hired to steal a briefcase containing the ransom money for the kidnapped son of a Yakuza boss. Two British assassins have freed the son and are bringing him back home, together with the no longer needed ransom money.

Many of the interlocking plots are the result of coincidences. The train from Tokyo to Kyoto is full of assassins intending to carry out different missions. Ladybug, whose real name we're never told, is caught in the middle.

For reasons unknown to me, critics don't like the film. Okay, I say "unknown to me", but I've read their reviews. What I mean is that I don't understand why they haven't been won over by the positive features of the film. The film is chaos, but it's never difficult to understand. The characters are well developed, even the ones who meet an early death. The story is well written, and the action scenes are intense. Seriously, I don't see any reason not to like it. I'm not alone in my opinion, proved by the fact that it was a box office success.

Success Rate:  + 0.8

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Inglourious Basterds (5 Stars)

Netflix Thursday #14

I warned you that I'd be watching Netflix more often while I'm on holiday. That includes films like "Inglourious Basterds", which I have on Blu-ray at home.

In a recent interview Quentin Tarantino named six films which he considers to be perfect. The films, in the order he named them, are:

• "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (1974)
• "Jaws" (1975)
• "The Exorcist" (1973)
• "Annie Hall" (1977)
• "Young Frankenstein" (1974)
• "Back to the Future" (1985)

That's an interesting list. I've seen all the films except for "Annie Hall", but I've only reviewed "Jaws" and "Young Frankenstein" in my blog. I ought to watch all of the films in a row to see what he means. He claims the films are technically perfect, regardless of a person's personal tastes. That's difficult for me. My reviews are subjective, and I don't think I'm able to make an objective decision whether a film is perfect. I'll do my best.

Quentin should have added one more film to the list: "Inglourious Basterds". Maybe he was too modest to name one of his own films. The film's chapters are a series of vignettes, each of which can be judged on its own merits. Each vignette is perfect. If anything is imperfect, I'd like to hear Quentin himself tell me what's wrong with it.

Success Rate:  + 2.6

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Bullet Train (5 Stars)

Brad Pitt plays a former assassin with the codename Ladybug. He used to be a killer, but now he only accepts jobs where he steals items. He's being paid to steal a briefcase from a bullet train travelling from Tokyo to Kyoto. The problem is that the man carrying the briefcase is an assassin that he met in a previous job. He doesn't remember Ladybug at first, but when he does he also remembers that he has a grudge against him.

But there are other killers on the train. One wants revenge on Ladybug for killing his wife, although Ladybug knows he never did it. In fact, the train journey seems like an assassins' convention. Ladybug might not want to kill anyone, but he's willing to kill in self defence. The film has so many details, too many to go into without giving away spoilers. All I'll say is that this is the best film I've seen this year., so far. The mix of action and comedy is perfect. Japan is shown as a kitsch-ridden caricature. And there's a fast train. What else do you want?

The Lost City (4 Stars)

Today's the first time I've been to the cinema since 10th April. Almost eight weeks without cinema visits. I've missed going to the cinema. Many people are happy sitting at home watching Netflix on their television, or worse still on their laptop, but not me. Seeing films on a big screen is an immersive experience that should be enjoyed as often as possible. My usual goal is twice a week, depending on what's being shown. Today's a special day, the end of my cinema abstinence, so I've planned two films back to back. This is the first.

Loretta Sage (Sandra Bullock) is a widowed romance novelist. She writes action stories that star an adventurer called Dash. A model called Alan Caprison (Channing Tatum) appears on the cover of her books portraying Dash. He accompanies her on a book tour, and she's shocked to find that her readers are more interested in him than the books. Have they only been buying the books for his picture on the cover? Possibly.

After the first stage of the book tour Loretta is kidnapped by a millionaire called Abigail Fairfax, played by Daniel Radcliffe. Yes, I thought Abigail was a woman's name as well. After reading Loretta's latest book, "The Lost City of D", he's recognised that the city described is based on researches carried out by Loretta's late husband, an archaeologist. He sends her to the remote island described in her book to search for hidden treasure.

Alan follows Loretta to the island to rescue her. Loretta's publisher, Beth Hatten (Davine Joy Randolph) also follows her in order to protect her investment. Loretta is her best selling author, even if the books are only being bought for the covers.

The film is a comedy with some slapstick action. A lot of humour is based on Alan Caprison's lack of intelligence, but at least he has a good heart. "The Lost City" isn't funny enough to make me laugh out loud, but it's still enjoyable.

The film's cast at the premiere: Patti Harrison, Daniel Radcliffe, Davine Joy Randolph and Sandra Bullock. Channing Tatum couldn't make it. Daniel (5'4") looks so tiny when he's surrounded by big women wearing high heels to make themselves look even bigger.

Inglourious Basterds (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #24

This film should be called "How the War should have been won". It's the first film in which Quentin Tarantino rewrote history. It's a fictional film, but it features authentic historical characters, such as Adolf Hitler. The film shows Hitler dying in France in 1944, a year before his real world death. Tarantino's most recent film, "Once upon a time in Hollywood", also rewrites history by showing Sharon Tate survive the attack by the Manson Family.

So who kills Hitler? It's a joint effort. There are two plots running in parallel. One is the fighting group called the Bastards, eight Jewish soldiers led by Aldo the Apache (Brad Pitt). It's Aldo's right hand man Donny Donowitz (Eli Roth) who fires the bullets that kill Hitler. When you look at his face it seems like he isn't just acting, he's really enjoying killing Hitler. But Hitler wouldn't have survived anyway. He's locked in a cinema that's being burnt down by Emmanuelle Mimieux, the cinema's owner who's secretly Jewish. Aldo's Bastards and Emmanuelle don't meet, and they aren't even aware of one another's existence.

As I've mentioned many times before, I consider the opening scene in a French farmhouse to be the best scene ever filmed. It's perfect. It's slow and intense with seemingly harmless conversation between the French dairy farmer and the SS officer Hans Landa. In fact, the whole film moves slowly, and there are only occasional short bursts of action.

This is a film I can watch again and again and never get bored. The same is true of all of Quentin Tarantino's films. If you haven't watched it yet, what are you waiting for? Please don't shy away from it with excuses like "I don't like war films". This isn't a normal war film, which should be obvious as soon as the background music begins. The music sounds like it comes directly from a spaghetti western.

Success Rate:  + 2.6

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Deadpool 2 (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #38

Stan Lee doesn't actually make a cameo in "Deadpool 2", but he appears briefly in one of the trailers. He's even addressed by name. Deadpool emerges from a phone booth after changing into his costume.

Stan Lee: "Wow, nice suit!"

Deadpool: "Zip it, Stan Lee!"

This is Marvel dialogue at its best!

The first Deadpool film was so good that I didn't think the sequel could possibly live up to it. I was wrong. I remember sitting wide-mouthed in the cinema on 20th May 2018. When the opening credits rolled (at the 15 minute mark) I already knew that it exceeded the quality of the first film. The humour is similar. The repeated breaking of the third wall is similar. But something is better. Maybe it's the tastefully inappropriate placing of music. I don't know. I just know it's better, and I have great hopes that "Deadpool 3" will be just as good, whenever it's finally released.

This is the second film in Marvel's X-Men franchise in which someone comes from the future to change the past. The first was "Days of Future Past". Cable, a super-soldier from the future, travels back in time to kill Firefist, the mutant who will be responsible for murdering his wife and daughter. When Cable arrives Firefist is still a 12-year-old boy called Russell Collins. Russell is at a turning point. He's a troubled youngster, due to being tortured by the staff of an orphanage run by the Essex Corporation, an organisation that trains mutants to become mercenaries, but he's not truly evil. Cable says that he'll turn evil after his first kill, which is due to happen soon. Deadpool sees the good in the boy and wants to persuade him not to kill anyone. This is ironic, because Deadpool himself is a killer.

Deadpool has contact with the X-Men, but the only team members he sees at the X-Men mansion are Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Yukio. It's a running joke that the other X-Men are missing because the film had a limited budget.

Negasonic Teenage Warhead introduces Yukio as her girlfriend, making them the first openly lesbian couple in a Marvel movie. Yukio is possibly the same character as Yukio in "Wolverine", but it's not clear. Her role in "Deadpool 2" is too minor to make a comparison possible. Logically, they would have to be different characters, because "Wolverine" takes place shortly before "Deadpool 2", yet Yukio looks much younger in the latter film. But when has there ever been any logic in the X-Men continuity?

A bigger problem is a brief cameo by the other X-Men, who are in the mansion after all, though unseen by Deadpool. This was an outtake from "Dark Phoenix", which was being filmed at the same time. "Dark Phoenix" takes place in 1992, so the X-Men should look a lot older in "Deadpool 2", which takes place 25 years later. Even taking into account the rewriting of the timeline in "Days of Future Past", the scene still doesn't fit.

But don't worry about inconsistencies. Just accept the film for what it is. It doesn't take itself seriously, so neither should you.

Success Rate:  + 4.7

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Thelma and Louise (5 Stars)

Déjà vu? Didn't I write about this film yesterday?

Yes, I did. To be precise, I wrote about it just over three hours ago.

So why am I writing about it again so soon?

The answer is simple. It's because I watched it twice in a row. Technically speaking, my blog isn't a film review site. It's a film diary. Since September 2010 I've been recording every single film I've watched. There are a few off topic posts scattered in between, but if you remove all of them you'll have a list of every film I've watched for the last ten and a half years. If I've counted correctly, that's 3,634 films. That's not quite one film a day. In my first three years I watched films less often (because I watched more television series). For the next three years I watched two films most days. For the last five years I've settled into a rhythm of one film a day, with very few exceptions.

But the question remains why I watched "Thelma and Louise" twice in a row.

I have a good excuse. My ex-wife walked into my room just as the film was coming to an end, the last five minutes. She sat and watched it with me. She told me that she'd watched the film with our daughter Fiona a long time ago, and she'd enjoyed it, so she wanted to watch it again. That was all the reason I needed to go back to the start. There's one thing about me that you should know. I watch the vast majority of my films alone, but I enjoy films much more in company. The occasional sideways glimpse to see another person's reaction to a scene is magical.

This is the first film I've watched twice in a row since September 2010, but there were other films before then. Only two. The first was "Inland Empire", which I bought from Amazon in October 2007. I was excited when it arrived in the mail, because David Lynch was my favourite director. I sat and watched it, and when it came to the end I didn't understand it. Even though it was a three hour film, I immediately watched it a second time. Three hours later, after six hours in front of my television screen, I still didn't understand it. In frustration I shoved one of the Schoolgirl Report films into my DVD player, I forget which one. That was a film I could understand; it was about schoolgirls having sex. I only ever watched "Inland Empire" again once, in June 2014. I enjoyed it and gave it a five star rating, but I still didn't understand it. Maybe it's time for me to watch it again.

The second was "Downfall", the film about Adolf Hitler's last days in his Berlin bunker. I watched it in my house in Malmesbury Road with Fiona. It must have been some time in 2008, maybe 2009. Those were the magical days when she used to watch films leaning against me. I wish those days had never ended. She was a real Daddy's Girl. But in 2012 she suddenly stopped, practically overnight. I never asked her why. Maybe she'd just grown up. But I'm getting off the point. What I wanted to say is that she liked the the film so much that she asked if she could watch it again. I gladly agreed, which meant another two hours of her sitting with my arm around her shoulder.

"Thelma and Louise" is now the third film that I've watched twice in a row on the same day. (I didn't finish the second viewing until after midnight, but I started watching it on the same day). This second review gives me a chance to start earlier in the film rather than just writing about their spectacular death.

It's difficult to say what the main theme in the film is. Is it a pro-woman film or an anti-man film? It's been called both. It's been called neo-feminist (which I presume is a compliment), and it's been called misandric (which is definitely not a compliment). The two women rise from weakness to strength in the two hours of the film, but only as a result of all the men around them being despicable. Apart from Thelma's husband Darryl, the men all make an initial impression of being perfect gentlemen before their true nature is revealed. Harlan Puckett behaves perfectly, until he hits Thelma and tries to rape her. J. D. (played by Brad Pitt) seduces Thelma with his southern charm, but he robs her before leaving. Louise's soft-talking boyfriend Jimmy has himself under control most of the time, but when he's in a bad mood he throws things across the room. This turns the women from timid little mice into aggressive killers.

Boys will be boys, men will be men. When the traffic cop stops the girls, he looks at more than their license and registration. To be fair, Louise does push her shoulders back to distract him.

The distraction stops him noticing Thelma sneaking up behind him with a gun.

In the past I've compared this film to David Lynch's "Wild at Heart". That's still the strongest similarity I see, but the barren scenery also reminds me of Russ Meyer's films, especially "Supervixens".

Doesn't this scene remind you of "Faster Pussycat Kill Kill"?

Woman is approached by man. Is Woman scared?

No. Woman knows she has all the power.

Woman looks man straight in the eye.

Woman is united and will never be divided.

This is a beautiful film. We fall in love with the two titular characters. We don't criticise them as they descend into crime, because we can see that they're also rising in strength. They're not evil. They're just doing whatever they can to survive in a world filled with evil men. The film teases us, giving us hope that they'll escape the police in a happy ending. Instead of this, their death itself is the happy ending.

Success Rate:  + 0.8

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Thelma and Louise (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #46

"You can only die once, so make sure your death is a good one".

That's something I used to say a lot when I was younger. Nowadays I say it less often, but I still stand behind it. I invented the saying myself, but I've found out that others have said similar things. Their words are almost identical to mine, but they mean it differently. The others who speak paraphrased versions of my words mean that you should die for a good cause, i.e. the purpose of your death should be noble. It's something that soldiers might have as a motto when they march into battle. That's not what I mean. I mean that the moment of death should be accompanied by great pleasure. It would be a wonderful experience to die by being strangled during sexual intercourse. To anyone who says that I'm being weird, consider the alternatives. You could die with your body being mangled in a car crash, or you could die a long, lingering death while your body is being eaten away by cancer. I'm not weird, I'm the one talking good sense.

When I was young I wanted to die before I was 30. Then I said I wanted to die before I was 40. Then I said I wanted to die before I was 50. Now my life is slowly trickling away, day by day, year by year. By the time I die I'll probably be too weak to enjoy my death. If death is the ultimate goal in life, I should have planned my death when I was young.

That brings me to the film. Thelma Dickinson and Louise Sawyer are living dreary lives in a small town in Arkansas. Thelma is in a dead end marriage that gives her no pleasure. Louise is single and in a dead end job as a waitress. They have nothing to live for. The only thing that keeps them sane is their friendship.

But they have a good death.

After an adventure together which culminates in a high speed car chase, they meet their death by plummeting into the Grand Canyon. That's one of the most beautiful places on Earth. It's one of the most beautiful places to die.

What a wonderful way to die! It's not quite up to the level of death during intercourse, but it still looks like a splendid experience. Flying through the air for endless seconds, before the car finally hits the ground with such velocity that an instantaneous death is guaranteed. It's notable that the film doesn't show the moment of death. The film ends while the two friends are flying through the air. It's as if the moment of ecstasy never ends.

Success Rate:  + 0.8

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Snatch (5 Stars)

Dancer's Top Films #67

This is Guy Ritchie's second feature film, made in 2000, two years after "Lock, stock and two smoking barrels". It was criticised by film critics for being too similar to the first film. Is that really such a big deal? What's wrong with a director having his own style? I've put the two films next to one another in my top 100 list, because it's difficult for me to decide which one I like more. Maybe "Snatch" is slightly better, but there's hardly anything between them.

"Snatch" actually tells two unrelated stories. One story is about a boxing promoter who's struggling to make money from a rigged bare knuckles fight. The other story is about a giant diamond that's repeatedly lost and found and stolen. The main characters in the two stories don't meet. They're only connected by the minor characters. And the dog.

The film's plot (or plots) isn't difficult to understand, but it's difficult to explain. There's less comedy than in Guy Ritchie's first film, but there are still a few amusing scenes. Brad Pitt's ridiculous accent is comical in itself. He's unable to mimic a gypsy accent, so he's invented his own accent for the film.

Staffordshire Bull Terriers are beautiful dogs, but one thing they're known for is their lack of loyalty. They're undiscriminating in their affections, so if they're stolen they make no attempt to return to their previous owners. That's shown in the film. When the robbers are being arrested by the police they look up in amazement as they see their dog passing them in someone else's car.

This is a marvellous film that has to be seen to be believed. Unfortunately, after his first two films Guy Ritchie was never able to reach the same high level again. He's made nine films since then, some better than others, but he's lost his magic touch.

Success Rate:  + 6.4

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Meet Joe Black (5 Stars)

This is an unusual film. It's a supernatural film that's moving and emotional. Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt are perfectly matched in their respective roles.

The media tycoon Bill Parrish (Anthony Hopkins) has a heart attack shortly before his 65th birthday. Death (personified) speaks to him and tells him that it's his time to die, but he'll give him a few extra days if Bill will do him a favour. Death has been watching the Earth for thousands of years, but he wants to walk the Earth as a man and have Bill show him around. He occupies the body of a young man (Brad Pitt) who's just died. He enters Bill's life, living in his home and attending his board meetings, which puzzles everyone around Bill.

But more happens. Death (whom Bill has spontaneously named Joe Black) falls in love with Bill's daughter Susan. It's mutual. Bill is horrified, because he doesn't see how this relationship can possibly succeed.

The film is serious, but it has many comic episodes resulting from Death's naivety in living as a human being. As the film progresses there are repeated clashes between the two men. Death is all-powerful and expects to be obeyed, but Bill is a business executive who is also used to having his wishes followed.

This is a beautiful film, made more intense by the deliberate, slow pacing. It's been criticised for being too long, almost three hours, but that's not too much. "A good film is never too long, a bad film is never too short". This is an excellent film, and I wouldn't have complained if it had lasted an extra hour.

Success Rate:  - 0.4

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Deadpool 2 (5 Stars)

This week I finally bought myself a 4K resolution television set. I've been using the standard 1080p resolution since December 2008. I had a 32" television from 2008 to 2012, a 42" television from 2012 to 2016 and a 40" television from 2016 to 2020, all with a 1080p resolution, The downgrade in 2016 was necessitated by moving to Germany. I couldn't take my television with me, so when I arrived in Germany I used the television that was already available.

My new television is 43". Ideally I would have preferred to buy a larger television with OLED technology, the current state of the art, but my space is limited. In my room I have to sit about 1.80 meters away from the screen, so a larger television set would be overkill.

After extensive research, I decided that this television was the best available at this size. At first I was disappointed that the frame is white. Every flatscreen television I've ever owned has a black frame. However, after a few hours sitting in front of it I've grown used to its appearance.

I bought the television from Amazon. I wanted to delay buying a 4K Blu-ray player, but once I had the television in front of me I was impatient. My old Blu-ray player wasn't good enough for me. I jumped on the bus and went to Saturn, an electronics store in Stuttgart city centre. I'd already decided on the Sony UBP-X700 Blu-ray player. It's not the best Blu-ray player on the market, but it's the best in its price range. At Saturn the Blu-ray player costs 25 Euros more than Amazon's price, but they offer a price match guarantee, so I bought it for Amazon's price.

After experimenting with snippets of films on Netflix and Amazon Prime, I finally sat down to watch my first full film with the new equipment. I picked "Deadpool 2", the theatrical version. It's a standard Blu-ray, so it was upscaled to 4K, and the picture was perfect. I currently only own one 4K Blu-ray, "John Wick 2", because the multi-format package (Blu-ray plus 4K) was the same price as the standard Blu-ray alone. I'll have to watch it some time in the next few days.

Success Rate:  + 4.7

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