A Hole in my Panty (3½ Stars)

This is a Japanese coming-of-age drama made in 2011. Before today I didn't know that films like this were made in Japan. In fact, I didn't think they had been made anywhere since the 1980's. "A Hole in my Panty" shares the style of the Canadian Porky's films and the Israeli Lemon Popsicle films, not to mention countless other one-off coming-of-age films.

First of all, let's get the film title out of the way. At no time in the film do we see panties with holes in them. The title is ridiculous. The film itself is naively innocent, so why was such a crude title necessary? Is it to fool customers into thinking that it's a pornographic film? I hate false advertising, but in this case I wouldn't have fallen for it anyway. It stars Ai Shinozaki, the world's most beautiful actress, and it's inconceivable that she would appear nude, or in a film with other nude actresses.

Hiroshi, Takuro and Ryota are three schoolboys. It's the summer holidays, and they've decided to lose their virginity before the holidays are over. They try to chat up the girls in their class, but the girls treat them like they're stupid. Actually, the girls are right, the boys really are stupid.

At the beach the boys meet Narumi, played by Ai Shinozaki. Hiroshi falls in love with her immediately. Can you blame him? He isn't even put off when she tells him that she only likes virgins and makes him recite poems on the merits of virginity. It isn't just a matter of saving yourself until marriage, Narumi is recommending absolute celibacy. She teases Hiroshi with her skimpy clothing to see if he is capable of remaining chaste. Look but don't touch!

In a way, I wish I were still a virgin. I know that's a strange thing to say, but I can still remember my teenage years as a virgin. Sex held a certain mystery for me, a mystery it lost after the first time and will never have again. It's difficult to explain what I mean. If I were young again I would try to remain a virgin for as long as possible.