Sunday, 25 September 2016

Cyborg Hookers (4 Stars)


This is the third film I've seen made by Sal V. Miers last year. I'm not sure in which order he made them. Based on the catalogue numbers it's the oldest of the three films, but the DVD releases aren't necessarily in the same order as the original television broadcasts. I'd like to think that it's the most recent film, because it shows greater quality and maturity than Sal's other two films.


Or maybe I should call him Sam. The photographer in the film is credited as Sam Silver, but it's obviously the same person who appeared as Sal V. Miers in "Model for Murder". Sam already produced 10 of Dean McKendrick's films from 2013 to 2015, so he isn't as new on the scene as I thought.

The film is about three candidates for an election, G. W. Bushwhacker, Sterling and Bill. It's not 100% clear what office they're running for, but I assume it's Congress. G. W. Bushwhacker wants to discredit his opponents with sex scandals, so he's hired a scientist to build female robots to seduce them. He gets sidetracked half way through the film when he meets one of his campaigners. He wants to sleep with her, but she's happily married, so he uses the robots to seduce her husband. He has no scruples, this G. W. Bushwhacker. His name reminds me of someone else, but that must be accidental. As the disclaimer clearly states, "The events, characters and firms depicted in this photoplay are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or firms is purely coincidental".


"Cyborg Hookers" reunites two of my favourite Retromedia actors, Eric Masterson and Ted Newson, though not in the same scene. This is the first time I've seen Eric with a beard. It suits him.


In my review of "Bad Girls Behind Bars" I heavily criticised Jacqui Holland's performance, especially the sex scenes. In this film she's a different woman. Her sex scenes are some of the most erotic scenes in any Retromedia film.

I always feel guilty when I write a bad review about a minor actress, like those who star in the Retromedia films. What if she does a web search for her own name and finds my review? That's more likely to happen with minor actors than with big stars. I don't want to disillusion her and make her want to give up acting. On the other hand, I can't lie, I have to be honest if I find an actress's performance disappointing. In this case I'm glad that I saw Jacqui making a good film so soon after being disappointed by "Bad Girls Behind Bars". Let's hope that she keeps on striding forwards from success to success.

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