Housewife Report 5 (3 Stars)

The fifth film in the Housewife Report series was made in 1973, the same year as the previous instalment. The film's original title, as it appears on the splash screen, was "Housewife Report International". Instead of reporting on housewives in Germany, the reporter Bernd Mittler is sent to interview women all over the world. His wife Brigitte stays at home in Munich to look after their newly born baby. We heard at the end of the third film that she was pregnant, and now we see the cute little boy.

1. The first segment takes place in Budapest. Ilona is sad that her husband Shandor only has sex with her once a month. Her downstairs neighbour Marika is sad that her husband Istvan demands sex from her twice a day. They agree to swap their husbands. In Socialist countries goods are distributed fairly, as the voiceover says.

2. The second segment takes place in London. Grace and Richard Stevenson have been married for six years. Richard believes in keeping a tight schedule in his life. He leaves for work and returns home at the exact time every day. They have sex every Wednesday evening, and it has to last exactly 20 minutes. Grace enjoys the sex, and these 20 minutes are the highlight of her week, although she wishes she could have more. Her teenage nephew Martin visits them, the son of Richard's brother. He's still a virgin. Grace seduces him, and they have sex every day for a week. Martin wants to run away with Grace, but she sends him back home to his parents. She just wanted some variety. Now she can go back to her 20 minutes a week.

3. The third segment takes place in Madrid. Don Geronimo owns a shop selling religious icons, and his wife Dolores stays at home with their four children. He's a strict Catholic, and he says that sex is only for making babies. There's no more sex for her until she's ready for her fifth child. Dolores feels attracted to her neighbour, who isn't named in the film, but he's played by the fiery Italian Rinaldo Talamonte. I suppose Italians and Spaniards look the same. Rinaldo visits the home regularly disguised as a nun.

Dolores is played by the famous German actress Elisabeth Volkmann in one of her early roles. In later years she distanced herself from her erotic movies. Why? She had a lot to offer, and she didn't need to be ashamed of it.

Rinaldo and Elisabeth pose for the camera.

4. The fourth segment takes place in Coxville, America. Supposedly it's 42 miles north of New York, but the only towns called Coxville that I've been able to find are much further away in other states. Three families live next door to one another. The husbands commute to New York City every day. They work together and spend their evenings together. They don't have much time for their wives. On Sunday the wives go to church together, but for the rest of the week they're bored. They all visit a psychiatrist who has sex with them to make them feel better. Connoisseurs of German erotic films will recognise Ingrid Steeger on the left and Dorothea Rau in the middle.

5. The fifth segment takes place in Paris. Janine and Girard are visiting from a small town in France. They've been married for three years, and the passion has gone from their marriage. Due to confusion at the train station they get separated when they arrive. Janine doesn't know the name of their hotel. She meets and falls in love with a taxi driver, so she leaves her husband.

6. The sixth segment takes place back home in Munich. Linda Holzinger is single and looking for a man. She's devoted to Wagner's music, so any potential husband has to love Wagner. After dating two men unsuccessfully, she meets the triangle player in a large orchestra.

There are scenes from Bernd and Brigitte's happy family life in between the segments. Some of the scenes give me a queasy feeling in my stomach. I'm not saying they're bad, it's possible that the problem lies with me. I'll let others decide. In most of the scenes Bernd and Brigitte are naked while their baby crawls around. Okay, there's nothing wrong with babies seeing their parents naked, but the two actors weren't married in real life, so the small baby (probably less than a year old) wasn't their child, he was just playing the role. Possibly he was the child of Angelika Baumgart, the actress who plays Brigitte, so he was seeing his mother nakes with another man. Should small children appear in nude scenes with adult actors? Let me know what you think.

This is the weakest of the Housewife Report films so far. The first five segments have the same theme: married women don't get enough sex, so they need to look for adventures outside of their marriage. The sixth segment doesn't fit. The woman isn't even married. Every segment (even the sixth) relies on national stereotypes for humour.

P.S. At the end of the film Brigitte tells Bernd that she's expecting a second child.