Housewife Report 3 (4 Stars)

This film, made in 1972, was recently included in a list of the worst films ever made. It's the only one of the six Housewife Report films in the list. I felt tempted to give the film five stars, just to rebel against the bad judgement of the people compiling the list, but I can't call it a perfect film. A four star rating should be enough to tell the world I disagree with the poor rating by people who think they're smarter than me.

The film was released in English (dubbed) with the title "Give 'em an inch". That title is in contrast to the film's message, so I'll stick to the literal translation of the German title. Maybe the film should have been called "Divorce Report", because divorce is the only topic from beginning to end. The film's message is that when a couple get divorced it's always the man's fault. There's also a second message, that women who marry young are more likely to get divorced, so they should wait until they're older and know what they want.

After an amusing opening scene during the credits, the film settles into the typical style of the 1970's report films. A group of experts are gathered in a room talking about the problem of divorce in today's modern society. They're a group of doctors, psychiatrists and social workers, i.e. people who should know what they're talking about. In their midst are the married couple Bernd and Brigitte Mittler, who we know from the first two films. They've been sent out to interview housewives who have recently left their husbands. Supposedly they were both sent out, but in the following vignettes it's only Brigitte who we see as an interviewer.

Each of the reports has the same format. Brigitte Mittler interviews a woman about her marriage problems, and in a flashback we see what led up to the divorce. We hear the woman in voiceover explaining what was happening. At the end of each vignette the experts give their opinion on what just happened. They use a lot of fancy words, but what it comes down to is that they're saying, "The man did everything wrong. The woman was right to find someone else.

What makes this film different to its predecessors is that Bernd and Brigitte play an active part. Before the beginning of each vignette there's a short scene showing their married life. This was probably intended to show that not all marriages end in divorce. This is also the first film in which we see Bernd and Brigitte naked. Maybe after two films fully clothed the actors complained that they were the only ones keeping their clothes on.

1. Sabine married Bruno when she was 19 and he was 31. Their sex life has settled into a dull routine. Then she wins a holiday in Venice in a television quiz show. Bruno is too busy to go, so she takes the holiday by herself. It's an ugly little hotel, but Sabine has an affair with the hotel's owner, Mario. She wants to stay in Venice with him, but she decides against it because she doesn't want to lose her children. She returns home after two weeks, and her sex life improves dramatically.

This vignette shows an affair that doesn't lead to divorce. It's also the only vignette in which the couple have children. Is that a third subtle message? Children hold a marriage together?

2. Irene is a teacher, her husband Milan is a trainee doctor. I don't know about other countries, but in Germany after graduation medical students have to work as underpaid trainees in a hospital for two years before being allowed to call themselves doctors. Milan has no time for his wife. He leaves home early, he comes home late, and when he goes to bed he falls asleep fast, leaving Irene unsatisfied.

One of Irene's older students, Gerd, helps her carry her shopping home. Gerd seduces her, and they have sex. She swears this will never happen again, but he seduces her again in school a few weeks later. Then she sees that Gerd's friends have been spying on her. Because of this she changes schools and leaves her husband. She says that if she'd been sexually satisfied at home she would never have been seduced.

So it's the husband's fault if a teacher has sex with one of her students? That's what the experts tell us.

3. Margit and Otto have both fled from the DDR (East Germany) to Munich. They both feel like outsiders with their strange accents, so they marry one another when she's still 17. All that Otto is interested in is getting a good car, something better than a Trabi. He reads car magazines in the bath, he reads car magazines in bed, and he even reads car magazines during sex. Eww! Margit assumes things will get better when he finally buys his car, but it's worse. He goes out on long drives, and she suspects that he's seeing other women. Margit goes to one of Otto's friends, a car mechanic called Wastl, for sympathy. They become lovers, and she leaves Otto.

That was a question for all new arrivals in West Germany from the DDR: are the riches of the West more important than love? Otto made the wrong choice.

4. When she's only 18, Beate marries Herbert Gessler, the owner of a large family business. His age isn't stated, but he must be at least 20 years older. He's unfaithful to her, so she hatches a plan to get the other company executives, all men, onto her side. She hosts a party where she's wearing revealing clothing, and she puts on a weepy performance. With their votes, she becomes the company's leader. She demotes her husband to a minor role, and she thanks all the stupid men who supported her by firing them and replacing them with women. And in the process, she begins a new relationship with Dirk, her lawyer's son.

Girl power! Yay!

5. Uschi is the 20-year-old wife of Eugen Fendt, the publisher of a pornographic magazine. Because of his fascination with pornography, he's unable to have normal sex. Uschi has to stand in the street pretending to be a prostitute. Eugen picks her up and takes her home for sex. That's the only way it works. Poor Uschi feels demeaned, but she loves her husband and does what he wants. One day Eugen is delayed, and she's picked up by another man. He pays her 100 Marks (50 Euros) for sex, a good price in 1972. She leaves her husband, because she would rather be a real prostitute than a fake.

Once more, it's all the man's fault. His sexual hang ups have driven his wife into prostitution.

6. Agnes is the young wife of a hairdresser called Albert. I don't know how tall the actress Maria Faber is, but she towers over her husband and all the other men around her. Albert is unable to perform in bed, probably because he's intimidated by her. Their next door neighbour is an Italian called Tonio, a pizzeria owner, played by the remarkable actor Rinaldo Talamonti. He's very small, about 5'3", but he's confident about his height. When he makes love to Agnes he stands on a chair. This continues until Albert buys potency pills from a dubious doctor. In voiceover it's suggested that the pills are fake – this was long before the invention of Viagra – but Albert's problems are psychological, so the pills work because he believes that they work. This makes Agnes abandon her affair with little Tonio.

So we see that good sex can save a marriage. I already knew that without the help of experts.

If you check the film's IMDB page, you won't find Rinaldo Talamonti listed. There's a good reason for his omission. The German erotic films of the 1970's, whether they were report films or Bavarian sex comedies, didn't name the actors. There were no credits, neither at the beginning nor the end of the film. IMDB, which wasn't started until 30 years later, has to rely on its contributors recognising the faces of the actors. This might succeed for the major actors, but minor actors who only appeared in one or two films are rarely named. Evidently, the person who added "Housewife Report 3" to the database didn't know Rinaldo. That's remarkable. He was one of the greatest comedy actors of the 1970's, and he's still making films today. Long live Rinaldo!

Here's Rinaldo standing on a chair to make love to Maria Faber as Agnes.

Size doesn't matter if you're a good lover. That's what men like to believe.

Rinaldo isn't just a good lover, he's a good singer. He serenades Agnes with "O Sole Mio" while they make love.

But in the end he's rejected. Agnes returns to her (slightly) larger husband Herbert.

7. The problems in marriages aren't only the result of sex. Elisabeth has married Duke Kuno of Ladenburg. They have a lot of beautiful land, but they don't allow people to walk through it and enjoy the scenery. The local vet, Dr. Moll, is leading the protests to open up the land for public use. Elisabeth finds her husband's refusal to compromise unpleasant, so she leaves him and marries the vet.

The experts talk a lot about this case. They point out that divorces aren't common in the landed gentry, because the wives want to hold on to their money and position of authority. Elisabeth is a rare example of a woman who puts her ideals above money.

The duke's mother is played by Rosl Mayr, the grand old lady of German sex comedies. She appeared in supporting roles in at least 50 sex comedies in the 1970's. No film was complete without her. She's also unlisted in IMDB. Maybe someone will read this review and add her name.

Concerning Bernd and Brigitte Mittler, there's an interesting intrigue. Brigitte wants a baby, Bernd doesn't. He says they're too young. She says she's on the pill, but she throws away her birth control pills and replaces them with glucose tablets. In the final scene she says she's pregnant. Will Bernd be furious? Not at all, he's a good husband. He's so happy about becoming a father that he forgives his wife's deception.

Children hold marriages together. That's the message. Would you rather believe that, or just call it nonsense from one of the worst films ever made? I'll leave it up to you to decide.