What Schoolgirls Don't Tell (4 Stars)

This is a German film directed by Ernst Hofbauer in 1973. He was in the middle of making the Schoolgirl Report films – five of them so far – so why did he make a separate film on the same topic instead of releasing it as "Schoolgirl Report 6"? The answer is obvious if you study the films closely. Whereas the Schoolgirl Report films included frequent comedy, "What schoolgirls don't tell" is a serious film throughout. Okay, maybe there are scenes that would make the viewer chuckle, but that's because of the awkwardness of the teenagers, not because of outright slapstick. Another difference is that the girls in this film are older. The girls in the Schoolgirl Report films are aged 14 to 17, whereas the girls in this film are 16 to 18. The schoolgirls in "What schoolgirls don't tell" are all over the legal age of consent, which is 16 in Germany.

The film is divided into five scenes, which are separated by intermissions with two experts, a priest and a school doctor, discussing what has just happened.

1. A paedophile picks up a small girl (probably about 10) outside her school, promising her chocolate if she goes with him. He takes her into the cellar of his apartment building. Two schoolgirls who live in the same building, both of them 16-ish, see what's happening and decide to protect her. They run into the cellar and interrupt the man, allowing the small girl to run away. The man threatens the girls with an axe, but they're not afraid. They know what to do. They strip naked and offer themselves to him.

This is a brilliantly filmed scene that shows Ernst Hofbauer's skill as a director. It's a direct homage to "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly".

A word about the showdown. Most of my readers would expect the man to immediately drop his axe and rush into the arms of the two girls. That's what I would do. Not this man. We have to remember he's a paedophile, and he's not like normal men. There are different reasons why a man might be a paedophile, and one reason is that he's afraid of real women. The two schoolgirls might be only 16, but they're physically fully developed and they're definitely real women. This is probably the first time in his life that he's been with a naked women, and there are two of them. He's terrified. Despite being aroused by them his confused male brain goes into fight-or-flight mode. Flight isn't an option because they're blocking the door.

In a moment of tension, the three stare at one another. Who will make the first move?

The man has an axe, but the girls aren't defenceless. They have their breasts. Make no mistake about it, the breasts are weapons. The girls know how to use them.

The girls stare into the man's eyes. He stares back. The three retain eye contact, but the man is beginning to sweat.

Finally he loses his concentration. He can't look the girls in the eyes any more. He has to look at their breasts. He can't resist them.

Then his eyes drop down further to look at their naked lower bodies. He wants them. He lusts for them. The axe is getting heavy in his hands.

Four naked breasts against one axe. Was there ever any doubt who would win the showdown? While the man's distracted Gerlinda (the dark-haired girl) reaches for a wooden crate. She hits him on the head, leaving him unconscious and badly wounded. Now it's up to the police.

Notice that the girls remain naked until the police arrive. They're eager to show the officers of the law how they could overcome their opponent so easily. Remember that the film was made in 1973, before mobile phones were invented. One of the girls must have run upstairs naked to call from her apartment. Unless, of course, she got dressed, made the phone call, then stripped naked again when she returned to the cellar. Either way, one of the two police officers is flustered when he talks to the girls.

In summing up, the priest says that nudity might be deemed immoral, but the girls were actually very moral in what they did, because they know what's right and wrong. They didn't hesitate to protect the younger, weaker girl. They're self-confident in using their naked bodies, which make them stronger than any man. Those are the schoolgirls of today, and the doctor has to agree.

If the film had continued like this I would have given it five stars. The other four scenes are good, but not up to the same quality.

2. 16-year-old Cornelia finds out that her mother is having an affair. This horrifies her, because she loves her father and doesn't want to see him hurt. She overhears her mother arranging to meet the lover in a hotel. Cornelia goes to the hotel first, where she finds and seduces her mother's lover. The mother breaks off the relationship when she hears the moaning from the hotel room.

The doctor says that once more a schoolgirl has used her body to do what's right.

3. Max and Sam are two young friends. Max is a womaniser, but Sam is still a virgin. Max tries whatever he can to help Sam, including arranging double dates with horny schoolgirls. Finally we find out the truth. Sam is still a virgin because he's in love with Max. Ouch!

4. The aspiring theatre actor Siegbert, whose day job is a postman, has a crush on the schoolgirl Burgie Wimmer. Whenever he sees her he tries to woo her with poetry, but she just laughs at him. The problem is worse because Burgie's father is Siegbert's boss, the village postmaster. Mr. Wimmer tells Siegbert that his little daughter is still a virgin, and if Siegbert goes anywhere near her he'll kill him.

Little does Burgie's father know that his daughter is anything but a virgin. She's having regular sex with her classmate Fritz. They like to live dangerously. Doesn't danger add an extra thrill to sex? They make love in the post office. During foreplay Fritz uses post stamps on her body: "Air mail", "Excess weight", "Return to sender", etc. When Burgie's father accidentally discovers the stamps he blames Siegbert and beats him up.

Burgie is played by the German actress Ulrike Butz, who was 18 at the time. She was one of the most beautiful actresses of the 1970's. It's a tragedy that drug abuse forced her to abandon her career after only three years, during which time she made 28 wonderful films.

Ulrike Butz
1 July 1954 – 27 August 2000

5. A Satanist cult performs monthly rituals in a basement in Munich. The problem is that they need to sacrifice a 16-year-old virgin, which is a rarity. Even girls who they thought were virgins were found to be impure when they were examined on the altar. Those Satanists are so fussy! The Satanist grandmaster asks Franz, a photographer, for help. Franz photographs teenage girls for magazines, so he has contacts. Franz knows a girl called Rosi. Rosi has an Italian boyfriend, but she's sworn she will remain a virgin till marriage.

Everyone has a price, including chaste schoolgirls. Franz offers Rosi 500 Marks (about $200) to take part in a sex party. She can't say Yes fast enough. She doesn't realise that it's not a sex party until she's chained to the altar. (There must be a moral to this story. If you give up your virginity for money you'll be sacrificed to Satan). Luckily Rosi's boyfriend Mario rounds up his friends to rescue her, and in a close fight the Italians defeat the Satanists.

The story has a happy end. Mario and Rosi marry, and the Satanists are invited to the wedding. (There must be another moral to this story. If you stay a virgin until marriage Satanists will be your friends).

The film is enjoyable. It's a good example of the high quality erotic films made in Germany (especially Bavaria) in the 1970's. That was the great age of German erotic films, and those days will never come again.