Thursday, 18 July 2013

Schoolgirl Report 12 (4 Stars)

When I was writing about "Pornorama" yesterday I remembered that I haven't yet finished reviewing the Schoolgirl Report films. My last review was in December.

Walter Boos returns once more as director for the 12th installment of the series. He has noticeably more creative energy than Ernst Hofbauer, who seems to have burnt himself out. A new idea has been picked for the film's outer frame: the staff of a high school newspaper have asked their readers to send letters describing their sexual encounters. They read the best five letters which they intend to publish in the next edition of their newspaper.

1. The first letter comes from a 17-year-old girl called Anna. Her parents are both dead, and she shares a house with her brother Helmut, an airline pilot who is 15 years older than her. He has been married, but he was divorced after a year. Helmut takes Anna out for a meal, but he sees his ex-wife who mocks him, so they leave early. Anna is sorry for him, so when they get home she kisses and seduces him. Helmut tries to resist, but he's no match for his sexy young sister. The next day Helmut crashes his car on the autobahn and dies. Is it an accident or the result of a curse on an evil relationship? Anna will never know.

2. In the next letter Barbara, 18, writes about a school outing to a wild life park. She's bored by the teachers applying Darwin's theories to wild boars, so she runs into the bushes with her boyfriend Heiner. He wants sex, she doesn't, so he leaves in a rage. When she returns to the class it's lunch time, and her friends tell her that there's an older couple having sex in the woods. Barbara watches them and gets so excited that she chases after Heiner and drags him into a barn for sex. The other girls in the class also see the couple, and they all grab a boy for sex. Each couple thinks they are alone in the barn, but then they all fall on top of one another

"Look! A naked man!" --- "Where?"

3. Gabi, 17, writes that she suffers from migraine every time she has a Latin test. Her mother takes her to see a doctor, but makes a mistake and takes her on Wednesday afternoon when the practice is closed. The only person in the practice is a plumber who is just finishing repair work when they arrive. They mistake him for the doctor, and the plumber makes Gabi take her clothes off for the examination. Interestingly, this segment uses Meyer-esque sound effects for comic effect. After the examination the plumber has sex with Gabi as part of the treatment. German girls are so naive! Just as they finish the real doctor arrives. Gabi's mother faints when she realises her mistake. The doctor carries her into the next room and decides that if everyone else has had sex, he should have sex with the mother as well.

4. The next letter is from Etta, 17. Etta is academically the best girl in her class, but she has a tough life at home. When she was 12 her brother hanged himself. As a result her father started to drink. Because her father drank her mother was having sex with different men every day. She wasn't disgusted by this, on the contrary, she was excited by the sight of her mother having sex. Etta becomes addicted to masturbation and has to do it many times a day. Even when she gets a boyfriend, Paul, a boy in her class, sex with him isn't enough for her, she still needs to masturbate whenever she can. She meets the owner of a junk yard, Adi, who gives her a drug that makes sex better. We're not told what it is, but it's expensive, and in order to buy more of it she has to become a prostitute. Paul gladly acts as her pimp. She begins to feel depressed, and at the end of her letter she is considering suicide.

5. The newspaper staff want to go home, but they have time for just one more letter. Nina is 17, and her family are acting as hosts to an exchange student. They expect that Nicky will be a girl, but it's actually a boy. Nina immediately likes him, but he shows no interest in her, he spends all his spare time training for a boxing championship. She makes many attempts to attract him, without success. Even when she sunbathes naked in front of him he resists her, although we as viewers witness him getting nervous. Eventually, four days before he has to leave, she resorts to desperate measures. She lies naked in his bed waiting for him, and when he finds her she pulls him on top of her. Success at last! Love always wins in the end. Or is it lust? Whichever it is, when a naked 17-year-old schoolgirl is involved it's an irresistible force.

I mentioned this in my previous reviews, but since it was a long time ago I'll repeat it here: as sleazy as the Schoolgirl Report films sound from my descriptions, they are now recognised as an integral part of film history and modern German culture. The films are on sale at and have been rated a certificate 16.

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