Bad Girls from Valley High (1 Star)

Unbelievable. How can a film possibly be so bad? It's a contender for the worst film I've ever seen. Random elements are thrown together from different films are thrown together and stirred until all that's left is sewage.

Danielle, Brooke and Tiffany are the three cool girls at Valley Gorge High School. Not only that, they're ridiculously rich and drive to school in identical black BMW's. Let's call them the Mean Girls, because that's the obvious reference. When Drew, the football quarterback, turns Danielle down for another girl, the Mean Girls kill her and make her death look like a suicide. A year later, on the anniversary of the girl's death, an exchange student called Katarina arrives from Transylvania. Drew falls in love with Katarina, but Danielle is unable to do anything to prevent it because the Mean Girls are mysteriously ageing.

The film is such a mess that I feel like swearing. It starts off bad, it gets worse as it progresses, and the final scenes are utterly stupid. It's the second and last film directed by John Kretchmer. It was made in 2000, whatever IMDB might say, after his first film, "Aliens for Breakfast", flopped in 1994. Since then he's been directing random episodes of TV series, where he can do less damage. As you probably know, in contrast to films the directors of TV series have relatively little creative control.

The film poster that I'm displaying above looks kind of cool. Don't let yourself be fooled. In the film the girls don't look anywhere near as pretty as they do in the poster, even before they start ageing. If they'd looked anywhere near that hot in the film I would have added half a star.