Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (4½ Stars)

Why should I be watching a Christmas film in October? It's a Christmas horror film. Is that a good enough excuse?

The film takes place in the Korvatunturi Mountains, which are considered to be the place where Santa Claus lives with his elves. The Finland-Russia border cuts through the middle of the central peak. Since it's an open border and it's easy to accidentally stray into Russian territory, hikers and mountain climbers have to receive written permission from the Finnish border guard before entering the territory. The border area near the mountains is uninhabited, apart from a small community of reindeer hunters who live in makeshift huts for part of the year.

Korvatunturi's location in Finland.

The Finland-Russia border.

There are contrasting legends about Santa Claus. One is that he's a kind old man who lives in a cave in the mountains with his elves, making toys to give to children at Christmas. The other is that he's an evil creature that sleeps all year, then comes out of his cave at Christmas to capture children for food.

First there's a whipping to make the meat tender.

Then it has to be cooked in a cauldron.

There are rumours that the local people rebelled against Santa Claus 400 years ago. They lured him onto thin ice on a frozen lake. Then they bound him and buried him in a deep pit in the mountains, where he's been trapped ever since.

An American scientific team has been hired by a man who takes the rumours seriously. They're drilling to find the real Santa Claus. What they don't realise is that only Santa is trapped. The elves have been hiding in the mountains for centuries, waiting for their leader to return. When Santa is brought up from the mountain, still tied up and encased in ice, they come out of hiding and attack the Americans.

The elves aren't cute little boys dressed in green. They're creepy old men who run around naked. If you want to take a closer look at them click the picture above, but I'm warning you: it's not a pretty sight. I take no responsibility for any psychological damage which can result in permanently destroying your enjoyment of Christmas.

The reindeer hunters are the world's last line of defence in preventing Santa's return to make mankind suffer. Pietari, the 10-year-old son of a hunter, is the one who understands the danger and rises up as a natural leader in the battle.

Reading this review, you might think that "Rare Exports" is a comedy. Not at all. However amusing the premise might sound, this is a horror film with nothing to laugh at. This is the first film by the Finnish director Jalmari Helander, who later went on to make "Big Game", one of the best films in recent years. I can hardly wait for his next film.

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